Day 4, US Open: “Adriano (Metaphorically) Punches Kolohe in the Mouth for Wearing White Wetsuit!

And Strider gets confused!

An ever-so-slight uptick in the surf was noticeable in propelling day four of the US Open through round three and into round four.

That extra trace of swell practically pushed into the overhead range for most of the field in heat one. De Souza, Kobayashi, and Asing couldn’t help but make the surf look bigger than it was while Yago Dora got looser than the lot of ‘em for 12 points in what remained waist high surf.

Post-heat, Yago prophetically quipped that “I hope the waves will get a little better, but I don’t think they will.”

Adriano advanced second as Kobayashi predictably got sent packing after a busy twelve-wave effort. Sans jerseys, it woulda been a tall order to differentiate between de Souza, Asing, and Kobayashi, the three micro regular-footers veritably indistinguishable in every way other than their sticker jobs. And speaking of sticker jobs…

Wonder-boy Peterson Crisanto flashed a naked nose at the world after blasting an 8.3 that bested half the day’s heat totals. Upon banking the day’s high wave and second-highest heat total (14.40), Crisanto clarified that he’s basically sponsored by the good homies Filipe — who’s spotting him a board and letting him crash at his pad — and Pupo, who handily won heat six. Biggest shocker was hearing Crisanto’s suave baritone-bordering-on-bass voice in the post-heat, though. Not a very big guy, but the pipes and air style would lead you to believe otherwise. Thanks to that classic tail-high nosepick reverse that broke the QS criteria ten years ago, Jadson Andre — and the best hairline in pro surfing — took second.

And you know who else took second…

Italo and MRod, surprisingly. Both dudes were flying high, but ten-year QS vet Tanner Hendrickson checked Italo in Heat seven with the day’s high total (14.50) while Cooper Chapman bested Rodrigues, Matt Banting, and Ethan Ewing in heat nine. In a heat that saw first and last divided by .87, Banting and Ewing were sent packing after several minutes of Strider confusedly using the two guys’ names interchangeably and seemed to forget if and when they were ever on the CT. Strider did however remind viewers that he won the 1984 under-12 U.S. championship.

Speaking of overscored backside waves and forgettable guys who used to be on tour, Dion Atkinson took heat four with a coupla backside snaps. He later commented that “I could surf my backhand all day, I don’t think I’ll fall off anytime soon.” Funny, because after some of the airshow heats yesterday I contemplated putting this in the day three writeup: “Given the current potential for almost any heat to turn into an airshow, it’s unthinkable that a perma-grounded rail surfer could advance beyond the early rounds of a QS10000, much less ever make it onto the world tour.”

And then today Atkinson advanced to round four firmly stuck to his board. He also might realistically requalify, showing that either I’m a fucking moron or there’s still something amiss about the judging system. Elsewhere in the world of questions of “why the fuck…”

Why the fuck can’t a Peruvian surfer qualify for the Men’s CT? They got the waves, they got the history, and they got guys in the QS10000 draws, but Peru just can’t get a dude on tour in spite of their national love affair with second-rate ISA team events. Limeño Lucca Mesinas, who won the QS1000 Acapulco and Barbados comps, got served by Kolohe and Griffin in round three, further postponing the Peruvian national fantasy of men’s CT qualification.

As for the San Clemente boys, both would take second in round four, Kolohe advancing behind Adriano, who set out to metaphorically punch Andino in the mouth for wearing a white wetsuit. We all know that the last dude to really get away with wearing a white wettie had 11 world titles… Kolohe? He has one world title less than Adriano. Colapinto also advanced to round five behind Reef Heazlewood. And honestly, that’s the real storyline of the day…

Nineteen-year-old Reef Heazlewood went from teenage wildcard to round 5, besting current CT competitors Colapinto and Dora in Round 4. New kid’s on fire and he gets a chance to knock off Andino at some point tomorrow.

Check back, cuz when there’s a dead horse and a man has a stick, there’s a moral obligation.

2018 Vans US Open of Surfing - Day 6 Highlights
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13 Comments
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Carlos Vilar

So boring to watch…..it is such a shame to see talent trown away in such shitty conditions….how in the world wsl can do this shitty contest year after year????

I would like to know how many viewers they loose each year by this event

joeys nosegard

metaphorically punched?
I metaphorically punched my lawyer today when i payed his 10 grand bill. and in 6 minute increments to achieve that, he metaphorically punched me some more

channelbottom

That video made me not want to watch any more. They all look the same on teeny-weeny waves doing the same twirly-hop and spaz.

Your writing about the event makes me want to watch, as it’s all difference and drama and personality.

James Bickerton

Peru’s love affair with the ISA may eventually pay dividends and could see Peruvian Surfers qualify for the Olympics ? ( If I’ve understood the selection process between top 10 CT athletes , 2 max from each country , and 10 more from the ISA games ).After watching the Dora,Pinto,Reef Heat , it’s possible that the commentary was worse than the judging and the Dribblers. Reef is not American so Coté and Strider had no idea that he finished 2nd last year at the US Open juniors at the same venue and was a favorite to win the world juniors 6 months ago in Kiama ,got 3rd at this year’s Australian Open 6000 and before this event was rated 32 on the QS . However if you want to know the name of Kei Kobayashi’s Hairdresser or some obscure skate reference they are definitely the go to men .

Mariano Landa

So where’s Asing 2.0 get his hair cut? Should I keep my eyes peeled for frosted tips?

James Bickerton

Possibly Alex Knost ? Isn’t he in a Salon called Japanese Hairdressers ( or Motors or something like that ? ) or SUPER GIRL Carissa , latest caped crusader for PAUL MITCHELL ? As for the colour “ Black is the new black “!

Mariano Landa

What’s tragic about Kobayashi is that he realistically can probably only aspire to the style and approach of an Adriano or an Asing. Like Conner Coffin, Koba lacks the rawness—in the absolutely complimentary sense of the word—of Crisanto, whose natural flair seems to account for the blockiness and then some. Methinks it might also be a product of the SoCal kids being overcoached and unhungry. Crisanto—per Pupo on the mic—was working odd jobs and selling scrap metal to enter local comps while watching the homies rise to WSL accolades for the last six years. A bit different than your average Saint Clementine super junior.

James Bickerton

I thought Miguel was wonderful in the water but even better on the couch, well spoken , insightful and generous .

Toin coss

Let’s all move to San Clemente and be Locals!

Mariano Landa

You REALLY follow the Juniors and the QS, don’t you? Unless there’s kids from my area, I’m so unattached to the Junior circuit…

James Bickerton

As a stay at home dad, I have lots of free time and like to watch the youngsters from my old boardriders club . One on the CT , 2 on the QS and a 14year old future star who just surfed the ranch after moving from Volcom to Hurley .

Mariano Landa

Narrabeen?

James Bickerton

Right city wrong side , Elouera ( at Cronulla )


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