Home sweet home.
Home sweet home.

Revelation: “I no longer want to bomb the Pacific Northwest!”

It only took two plus decades!

When was the last time you went home? I mean home home. The place your parents raised you home. I don’t do it often enough and blame a burning rage in my childhood heart. I’ve written about this before, and don’t mean to bore, but I was raised in the state of Oregon in a depressed coastal ex-logging town named Coos Bay.

I hated it.

I hated the grey skies, the rain, the people, the oppressively green trees, the rain and also the people who smelled like mint flavored Skoal. It drove me crazy that I didn’t get to be from California, just to the south, with its warm surf and its Gotcha and its sun.

California was everything to me. It was surfing and I conflated the two, dreaming only California dreams and hating Oregon. I vowed that if I ever struck gold that I’d use some of the money to buy an old airplane, fly north and unload a payload of Vietnam-era warheads all the way from Medford in the south (where my cousins lived) to Seattle (not in Oregon but still Pacific Northwest and where my grandparents lived).

Time has mellowed my ambitions and age has made me fond of my Oregonian roots. I am a forever outsider thanks to them. A man still wildly in love with surfing, with what surfing means and more importantly what surfing should mean, precisely because he never belonged.

I’m headed home, anyhow, today to read about Cocaine + Surfing in:

Eugene on August 24th at Barnes & Noble (7:00 pm)

Portland on August 27th at Powells Books (7:30 pm)

Seattle on August 28th at University Bookstore (7:00 pm)

Bellingham on August 29th at Village Books (7:00 pm)

If you are anywhere around please come. I no longer want to bomb my fellow Pacific Northwesterners. I want to hug them all.

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slug
slug
8 years ago

More than ever the joint needs a good torching, Chas.

Ballgame
Ballgame
8 years ago

What’s not to like about having to surf in a 5/4 with hood, gloves and booties all winter…err and summer

in tubo veritas
in tubo veritas
8 years ago

Oregon= the goonies ,can’t be more Epic than that

Glen Winton’s mullet
Glen Winton’s mullet
8 years ago

I bet if you did a Seven Devils signing/ reading, your former home town would really dig it…. come on the Bachelor’s Inn is calling

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Nice segway. Isn’t California pretty fucked in a lot of parts too? From my experience…

Dung beetle
Dung beetle
8 years ago

Yes, everywhere, but the weather is better.

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
8 years ago

I really loved the Columbia river gorge! At least, Oregon can be proud of such a place!

SoCalGary
SoCalGary
8 years ago
Reply to  Walter Pepekay

I think Washington will claim half of that for themselves. The good stuff is on the Oregon Side, well except the wineries.

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago

This is kind of like the emails that I get from my cellphone carrier offering a good deal on their satellite tv service for the last two years. Good luck with the book tour though.

Neah Kah Nie Pirate
Neah Kah Nie Pirate
8 years ago

When I was a young schoolboy in Astoria, I was forced to mow the backyard with an unmotorized reel mower. I’d get some momentum and finally be moving along at a good clip when i’d hit a moist pile of dog turd. The mower would send a stream of chopped dogshit, about the consistency of ground beef, straight into the air, striking me in the face and upper body.

Nowadays I get shitfaced on cheap whiskey and prescription drugs.

Life comes at you fast don’t it?

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

No one can ever really go home again.

Hippy
Hippy
8 years ago

You should customize the name and cover of your book for this tour.

Meth and Surfing

Now we’re talking Oregon.

frank
frank
8 years ago

Throwing us off the scent; I think Oregon probably frickin cranks and CS wants to keep it all to himself, like a true grumpy local!

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago

Bomb Torquay for me then lazy cunt.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago

Man I will tell you what… Torquay feels exactly like Coos Bay so… ok!

Bushman
Bushman
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Going to be smokey…bring some raw honey for the throat and Himalayan salt wash for the eyes.

Poop Stance
Poop Stance
8 years ago

If you bombed Seattle now you’d only be taking out Californians anyway.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
8 years ago

I’m very suspicious of people who didn’t grow up hating where they’re from.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

hard not to hate the Goldie. very hard

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
8 years ago

I’m sure. But I’m also not from the Goldie, you lucky bastard.

astro
astro
8 years ago

Born with a heavy haulage ticket and a chainsaw in each hand !
Way to go woodsman !

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago

You’ve changed.

Not always a bad thing.


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