But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and John John Florence is the sun.
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and John John Florence is the sun. | Photo: Morgan Maassen

Shakespearean: Wherefore art thou John John Florence?

I miss him every day. Every single day.

Last evening as the sun slipped down the sky and crickets began playing their night music my mind wandered to professional surfing, as it is wont to do, and the current World Championship Tour Jeep Yellow Jersey Leaderboard.

Filipe seems to have a clear path forward with a 6300 point lead over second place holder Gabriel Medina but who could ever count Brazil’s first ever champ out? Julian Wilson is fading down the stretch, as he is wont to do, Italo is becoming a fan favorite and looks to have a title in him sometime in the next few years. Wade Carmicheal should savor his possible top ten finish, Owen Wright is finding his sea legs once again while the sun is setting on Jordy Smith’s almost average career.

Do you know which name did not float through my synapses?

John John Florence.

Oh how the last 3 years belonged solely to him and him alone. Back to back championships, awe-inspiring bigger wave surfing, a film by Blake Vincent Kueny that had people weeping in the aisles from its sheer beauty. John John, like the diamond, felt forever. He was just getting started and maybe just maybe had an outside shot at taking on Kelly’s mark of 11 titles. Even an outside shot at becoming the greatest surfer to ever live.

But then injury, a partial tear of his right ACL, sustained at the Corona Bali Protected. Then paddleboard competitions, then making his Instagram account private, then… quiet.

He always seemed like a reticent champ. Slightly uncomfortable in the spotlight. He never had that lust for attention that drives Kelly Slater’s nonstop “look-at-me.”

I bet he is happy, which many GOATs are not. They fill that gaping hole in their souls though accolades and eyeballs. John John appears not to need and if he don’t need why would he subject himself to the… torture?

Which makes me wonder if John John Florence is going to go enjoy his life then what are we all gonna do?

Sit on our porches, listening to crickets playing their night music and mourning? Or remembering those three golden years (2014-2017) with fondness, tipping little bits of julep out of our goblets for the fallen homie?

I prefer the later but if you are in a mourning mood I’ll join you there.

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channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Naw I just made that up. Sorry.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

He has a Masters degree in engineering.

Waterman of the year
Waterman of the year
8 years ago

He could end up waking up in his late forties. Bulk more world titles than friends, bald, sucking on a michelob with organic grains dreaming about putting surfing to the sword.

Lindalovelace
Lindalovelace
8 years ago

What would Donald Trump do.

?uzzled
?uzzled
8 years ago
Reply to  Lindalovelace

Fuck it or fuck it up.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  ?uzzled

Sexually assault Sophie and BFB, and brag about it.

Keith Grace
Keith Grace
8 years ago

Anyone but Gabe.

Dick Simmons
Dick Simmons
8 years ago

After he face palmed Sophie on title day last year, you knew it was over.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
8 years ago

I’ve been calling ol Bruce non-stop for a week. Phone message suggests he’s in Mex.

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
8 years ago

Thank you thank you thank you someone cares thank you

Toin coss
Toin coss
8 years ago

I don’t think walking away from competition is as easy as it might seem for a beast like him. He might walk away from the WSL, but he thrives on pushing the limits against all comers in heavy situations. Pencil him in for Pipe & the Eddie, that is if they are still events.

Superworm
Superworm
8 years ago
Reply to  Toin coss

Someone must have pressured him heavily to miss Fiji this year, to be at the Keramas comp in junk waves while his brother and friends and Kelly were scoring one of the greatest swells ever.
Then he injured his knee at the same time.
That could be enough to make him realise he really doesn’t like the world tour and the way it’s going

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago

Is JJF not the GOAT? Maybe he wasn’t as dominant over a certain time period as the King, but wasn’t JJF’s best surfing better than everything before or since?

mundus
mundus
8 years ago

I could see him doing the Jamie Mitchel thing, big wave contests and paddleboard racing. Gotta be more fun than the tour.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago
Reply to  mundus

I doubt that is more fun than the WSL, there are some shit competitions on the ‘CT but nearly all the big wave tour events are boring mush burger snooze fests, as for paddle boarding, never tried it but it looks a lot like hard work!

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
8 years ago

It’s not your fault, Will.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

No, Robin Williams! It’s YOUR fault you slab faced cunt.

Justin Housman
Justin Housman
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

It’s not your fault (moves closer)

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago
Reply to  Justin Housman

Fuck OFF! Don’t touch me, you disgusting old pervert!

Bushman
Bushman
8 years ago

Johnny is watching the circus from the forest…. surely getting advise from elders, on whom he can trust as the beast a burden moves down the tracks. No one my son!

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
8 years ago

I think… he’s going enjoy life.
Sailing seas, surfing when he wants, stay in the sun and doing some music…
Swimming with the dolphins…
He is enjoying now!
Till Zeke appears, of course…

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

druharrison
druharrison
8 years ago

“Makes you wonder if John John Florence is enjoying his life what are we all going to do? It’s very simple Chas, don’t worry about winners or losers, points or ratings, just go surfing.

madmaxmedia
madmaxmedia
8 years ago
Reply to  druharrison

It’s only a contest. It doesn’t mean anything, right? Not to us soul surfers.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  druharrison

I would tend to agree with you but you’ve soiled your stance in my eyes, with all that religious fuckwittery.

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
8 years ago

Wherefore means why, not where

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  Noncompetitor

Exactly. Why did he leave us?

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Cause he wants to be left alone. I don’t blame him one bit. We live in an age of self promotion. Not knowing what someone’s up to adds to the intrigue. Obviously he caught yours.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  Noncompetitor

He sure did but only once in the last 6 months. I’m gonna forget about him again tomorrow until May ‘19.

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Find out why Bruce didn’t make the dang Maldives event. Don’t just make something up. Actually find out. There is a story there.

Wardo's PO
Wardo's PO
8 years ago
Reply to  Noncompetitor

Early onset dementia.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

There was an article over on WSL a couple of days ago, JJ said he’s keen to get back on tour but not until he’s 100%. Something like that

throwing disqus
throwing disqus
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

Fake news.

astro
astro
8 years ago

Yea – wsl media release n all.
But who knows ?

Bushman
Bushman
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Not us…but the Machine!

Glen Winton’s mullet
Glen Winton’s mullet
8 years ago

I heard he went to Arizona to learn “Art”

bruddah
bruddah
8 years ago

Oh shit his insta IS private. Hurley’s gotta be bummed about that.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

Hurley might have been the one that requested JJF make his IG page private. It gives both Hurley and JJF time to negotiate an expansion of his Hurley sponsorship deal to include JJF’s latest athletic pursuits of paddleboard racing, outrigger canoe racing and sailing.

bruddah
bruddah
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Ahhhh good call. Makes sense.

Bushman
Bushman
8 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

Nike could just create a whole new surf lifestyle…

I mean hell we know core surfing lifestyle brand is wide open for the taking. Just a few core surf leaders, some organic products that work,…no trannies just hot beach chicks…and it’s off to the races!

Oh and Cocaine and micro brew.

bradpitted
bradpitted
8 years ago

He is doing what we all wish we could do but can’t and what we really want him to do even though we like having him around. Like in Good Will Hunting when Affleck turns up at Will’s house to find he has moved on without saying bye. Bitter sweet

madmaxmedia
madmaxmedia
8 years ago
Reply to  bradpitted

So after reading this article we all pause, smile briefly in a moment of reflection, walk away and never come back to Beach Grit again.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
8 years ago
Reply to  bradpitted

Who is Ben Afflecks character in all of this, Zeke, Keanu? More importantly who is Affleck’s creepy real life brother in all this? Pottz is obviously Robin Williams, or maybe it’s Barton Lynch?

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  bradpitted

I’ve never seen this movie.
Is it something to do with the shooting incidents in NZ?

Good Will Hunting
See what I did there????

HUNTING….

Ah forget it.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

I got it ! But still waiting for my invitation ? No waves here for gate crashes . Move on .

Toin coss
Toin coss
8 years ago
Reply to  bradpitted

I think one of the attractive things about JJ is that he seems to be transparent to all of us. That said, life is usually very complex even for blue collar folks, and especially for the best Surfer on planet earth.

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
8 years ago

Allow me a moment of thinking about others…I sort of hope JJF gets what he needs from surfing then disappears to a life of surfing when he wants to, sailing and paddleboard racing. It’s what I tell myself I would do if I had the scratch. Seems like a nice life. Good for him.

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Black Rubber

Hopefully Hurley/Nike understands JJF is worth more if they market him differently than “contest pro”.
letting him out of any contract agreements about being on the wave pool tour would be wise

bruddah
bruddah
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

JJF must be so over that pool. Raised in raw north pacific juice, competes and wins on the “dream tour”, only to have to surf a pseudo-wave in cowshit country.

Bushman
Bushman
8 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

The death of a creative man.
Is the Machine…the tour.

f u
f u
8 years ago
Reply to  Bushman
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
8 years ago
Reply to  f u

Have a cigar!

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
8 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

You could see it on his face. During last “ranch” event.

jorgen
jorgen
8 years ago

Was like watching an ADD kid try to sit still in class.


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