"So now do we get into how many people are dying on foils because I really was against SUPping, big time."
You know Devon Howard, of course, as a stylish longboarder, thoughtful speaker, critical thinker but did you know he may well be the 49th President of the United States of America? It’s true. I love muttering under my breath about Devon fucking Howard any time I am sitting across from podcast impresario David Lee Scales for our sometimes bi-monthly offering The Grit! but it is truly all in jest. Devon loves surfing, loves surfing deeply but understands that it is fundamentally ridiculous. I very much enjoy every chance we have together and Friday found us together across from podcast impresario David Lee.
So there we were, chatting along smoothly (except for my voice ravaged by disease and poor lifestyle choices) about this and that. Yoga (I don’t do), whaling (I would) until we arrived at minute 32:08 when Devon Howard transformed before my very eyes from a stylish longboarder, thoughtful speaker and critical thinker into a Presidential candidate and how? By cleanly linking a shark that had just been decapitated by a foil to a vast conspiracy of unreported SUP deaths at Cardiff Reef and I’m just going to print the transcript here.
Devon: But back to foiling… I listen to you guys pretty frequently but don’t recall… have you talked that much about foiling in awhile? Does this open it back up because the subtext of this is, like, “See, we told you these things were dangerous. They’re killing sharks…” So now do we get into how many people are dying on foils because I really was against SUPping, big time.
He goes on to violently push his political competition under the bus before continuing…
Devon: I think I’ve SUPped two times in my life, once in the channel in Indonesia because I was bored, you know but I’ve never “SUPped” so I’m clear on this. Cardiff Reef has been ruined because there’s a legacy of SUPping there and everyone was always talking about all the people who were going to die from it. Ummm I haven’t seen the statistics. Did people die? We still don’t know.
Absolutely masterful and I don’t know that I’ve ever witnessed such greatness from such proximity. To take a shark getting whacked by a foil and end with the possibility of hundreds, maybe thousands, of children rendered fatherless all do the evil SUP has the makings of a vigilante mob following one slick-haired, calm-talking leader.
Devon Howard for Pres 2032!
I can’t even remember what else we talked about but it is for certain the best show yet.