"So now do we get into how many people are dying on foils because I really was against SUPping, big time."
You know Devon Howard, of course, as a stylish longboarder, thoughtful speaker, critical thinker but did you know he may well be the 49th President of the United States of America? It’s true. I love muttering under my breath about Devon fucking Howard any time I am sitting across from podcast impresario David Lee Scales for our sometimes bi-monthly offering The Grit! but it is truly all in jest. Devon loves surfing, loves surfing deeply but understands that it is fundamentally ridiculous. I very much enjoy every chance we have together and Friday found us together across from podcast impresario David Lee.
So there we were, chatting along smoothly (except for my voice ravaged by disease and poor lifestyle choices) about this and that. Yoga (I don’t do), whaling (I would) until we arrived at minute 32:08 when Devon Howard transformed before my very eyes from a stylish longboarder, thoughtful speaker and critical thinker into a Presidential candidate and how? By cleanly linking a shark that had just been decapitated by a foil to a vast conspiracy of unreported SUP deaths at Cardiff Reef and I’m just going to print the transcript here.
Devon: But back to foiling… I listen to you guys pretty frequently but don’t recall… have you talked that much about foiling in awhile? Does this open it back up because the subtext of this is, like, “See, we told you these things were dangerous. They’re killing sharks…” So now do we get into how many people are dying on foils because I really was against SUPping, big time.
He goes on to violently push his political competition under the bus before continuing…
Devon: I think I’ve SUPped two times in my life, once in the channel in Indonesia because I was bored, you know but I’ve never “SUPped” so I’m clear on this. Cardiff Reef has been ruined because there’s a legacy of SUPping there and everyone was always talking about all the people who were going to die from it. Ummm I haven’t seen the statistics. Did people die? We still don’t know.
Masterful.
Absolutely masterful and I don’t know that I’ve ever witnessed such greatness from such proximity. To take a shark getting whacked by a foil and end with the possibility of hundreds, maybe thousands, of children rendered fatherless all do the evil SUP has the makings of a vigilante mob following one slick-haired, calm-talking leader.
Devon Howard for Pres 2032!
I can’t even remember what else we talked about but it is for certain the best show yet.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Barrel or Nah: still using Pandora.
It’s a funny movie!
Veeerrry interesting.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
“all do the evil SUP”
“due to the evil SUP”
Poor lifestyle choices again?
It explains alot about Chaz……
Good one.
Devon should be on every Grit.
Yeah, I like ‘im.
I’m dying to know
How many adult learners
Haven’t drowned as yet
I only listen to surfing podcasts these days if they feature born agains
Scott and Hobgood had a god show a few back
What’s so interesting about Buddhists?
I think several people have died….of laughter..(at them, not with them)
You know how some say that when you hear a bell ring, an angel gets it’s wings. Well, when you see a SUP catch a wave, a demon in hell gets it’s pitchfork, and another soul is swept into purgatory.
The only thing that happens when I see a SUP catch a wave is a grom on the inside gets his teeth knocked out
Can anyone stay on point? Sup fatalities or near fatalities…
Is that another famous SoCal break I should know about?
Yes, but it’s a secret spot (locals only), so I can’t tell you where it is.
I used surf at a place called ‘Suicides’ occasionally, so perhaps it’s nearby…
Nope…..
The best was Devon tossing Bass and Tudor under the bus for ruining Cardiff. Bass needs to go from David Lee Scales podcast. He comes off as a pretentious prick Know it all with a massive ego . Had to laugh at Devon constantly plugging his work for Channel Islands marketing. Ironically Tyler Warren is now involved. Strange days indeed . Shows how money influences the diehard hipster to pimp himself out. Classic.
I find relating to Bass as the everyday man very hard when at least once a show he’s telling us he’s having a new board shaped for himself
If you listen to the podcast at 1.1/2x speed, you are all on coke.
Devon swears he’s never tasted.
Devon needs to bring back the Greenough bowlcut he rocked when he managed PataGucci in Cardiff. Or the 80s Pornstache . Maybe I’m way cynical but it seems a contrived costume? His master orator act is comical at best
devon needs to tell all his coke friends how big of a bunch of fuck wads they are… that they are killing people every fucking time they buy that shit and they should grow the fuck up and act like human fucking beings. Cock suckers!!! Fuck them and their nose candy
Keeps many villages in rice.
Nope. It’s the most selfish bunch of asshole piece of shit entitlement crap. Fuck cocaine (Buy here)
It’s just an innocent plant based salt useful in dentistry and event management.
Ha. Bunch o cunts
And half speed on ludes
Chas,
The z in Ibiza is pronounced ‘th’.
Just sayin’
I can’t bring myself to speak Cathtilian.
Barcelona?
Barthelona. There! I’m learning!
Well done.
It just sounds so kooky not to say it right. It does you a disservice.
In Barcelona for New Years 1984, I had been going back and forth from Mundaka to Biarritz (for better bread and to hang with Dora) and mixing up my French and Spanish.
So I was speaking Spanish to the Barcelona girls and mixing up my “ques” and “des” and “las” and every once in a while they would look at me and say: “You said that in perfect Catalan.” (But they would say it in Catalan)
And in Mundaka all the Basque chicks listened to my Spanish and sneered: “Hablas como un mexicano. No eres un hombre correcto.“
So I would answer: “Lo thiento, thienoritas. Buenath tardeth. ¿Cómo ethtán lath olaths hoy?”
Although Spanish is considered ‘vulgar Latin,’ Castillian is pleasing when spoken aloud.
Every time I see a SUP in the lineup, it almost feels like a little piece of me is dying
Now you know how everyone else feels every time you post a comment.
Oh Chaz, grow up already.
I always find “its better” to catch and ride your “own waves”.
I’m happy to hear that, your probably a better person for it….
I trained a chatbot to post my comments here for me because I always rather go and surf my own waves
I’ve been meaning to ask, and don’t want to sound narcissistic even though it totally is, was your choice of Chazz Michael Micahaels a response to my classically douchy name or a love of the Chazz Michael Michaels character?
Ha, no, sorry to disappoint! I’m a Blades of Glory fan. And in my more salacious and single days it was an infrequent nickname.
For all these years I harbored that fantasy. I never should have asked and just kept on believing. Holding on to that feeling.
Do you put the bone in Zamboni?
they have started to disappear locally, not nearly as many and the shops say they are not selling them nearly as much these last two years. maybe 2017 was a bit more