Celebrate diversity!
One of the greatest comedies of all-time is the Jerk, starring Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnston, and I dare you to disagree. From the opening sentence “I was born a poor black child…” to the closing moment, where we see Navin and his family all dressed in white, dancing on the porch of an extra-large shack, the film is note perfect.
In one scene, Navin goes to work at a gas station. A deragned man, who picked his name out of a phone book, tries to shoot him but ends up shooting many oil cans instead. Navin, confused, shouts, “He hates these cans!”
The same can be said for our World Surf League President of Content, Media and WSL Studios except instead of “He hates these cans!” I think we can all point at Erik “ELo” Logan and shout, “He hates modern, traditional shortboards!”
It’s true!
Every single manner of wave riding vehicle is showcased on his robust Instagram feed. Every sort of SUP, asymetrical SUP, foil SUP, longboard, longerboard and over the weekend Mr. President appears to have added kite surfing to the list. Oh of course kite foiling comes next and then we can assume finless planks, the kitchen table etc. but there is nary a 5’11 thruster to be found. Nary a 6’1 pintail. Nary a fish, squash, swallow. Nary anything… normal.
Now, what does this all mean? Is our President a brave modern man, the sort who shuns gender pronouns, the sort who will usher the World Surf League into a place of diverse harmony wherein any board can show up in any contest at any time? Where fans will begin to hiss any surfer carrying a DHD or Mayhem or Pyzel under zir arm?
Are traditional shortboards the new white male?
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If he were terrible on a normal surfboard he would still post the photos on Insta. So the fact that there’s not even evidence of riding a normal board tells me that yes he must hate them.
brah, these guys are kooks.
he sucked a lot of cock to get where he is
so ease up!
So can we say this guy hasn’t actually surfed yet?
It means he’s a fucken kook of the highest degree. Bet he owns several mountain bikes
“DOES OUR PRESIDENT OF CONTENT, MEDIA AND STUDIOS HATE “NORMAL” SURFBOARDS?”
Short answer is yes.
They’re too hard to ride–even the fish isn’t going to give some new-markets inlander a good time, not even if he puts in his whole pathetic summer–and ELO hates that. Our boy ELO is gonna teach everyone that a WSL fan (market) is a “waterman,” and a waterman is someone who buys his first wetsuit and flogs around in the shorepound wearing a big shaka smile.
He’s dudded you for that sit down?
You’ve just jerked his chain pretty hard.
How has this man not gone off on you guys yet? I would of lost my shit after the 3rd article and pulled an Ashton Goggans on your ass.
E-lo:
Loves us.
Not afraid of a bit of banter.
Not a Lego cosplay aficionado.
Probably throws a proper punch if needs.
Everytime he starts to get angry he sees a comment where he’s referred to as Elo Winfrey and his rage subsides as he remembers his happy times safe in Oprah’s bossom.
Everything made in Asia
#everyonedoingeverythingelsebutactuallysurfingishavingthemostfun – got to be his motto!!
Love the comment by Paige – where do you get your energy?
When’s the interview Chas? We gotta hear from this guy
Ha, was just gonna mention Paige.
Comments don’t look real.
yeah looks fabricated for sure – built network or real, thinking built
Nah, they are real. I know folks who know him. They are the sort of folks who actually talk like that. He’s also often the most successful person in the room so lots of suck ups. Remember, people thought he could get them a show or in with Oprah. It’s Hollywood, people will sell their souls to get next to fame and money.
Sad to watch. Makes the fakes in the WSL seem like fucking monks.
Ok so more back slapping on a whole new level – fun!!!
My favorite , Emilio Palofox . Whoa what is that . ………… A kite you Moron used for kite surfing for the last 20 years or more all over the big wide world in bays lakes beaches seas and oceans .
Even just a kite.
Soon!
You can find him at Noah Surf House
“That dogs not named Lifesaver, that dogs named Shithead!”
I’m more concerned about his language; “brown AF”.
Not only alluding to the naughty, un-family-friendly FUCK-BOMB, but denigrating brownness. Racist!
Of all people!
I am more concerned about the level of sarcasm being shown by civiccouch in his comment to Elo.
Perhaps he genuinely really wants some of that footage.
Oprah should tell E-Lo that you kite sail on water, not sand.
I’m almost certain Oprah is on here, taking the piss outta him with the rest of us.
I’m Oprah.
A new car for you.
Nah I think she’s Wiggs.
It’s also a good way to break an ankle or wrist…
Or if things go really well, shatter both shins on the side of a jetty!
The Prez has a tat
Of Kai Lenny on his arse
Right next to Oprah
Is Elo the avatar of Kai or is Kai the avatar of Elo ? Seems like a win win so far for both of them .
Though looking at the kite , there seems to be a subliminal message with the word “CONTRA” spelt backwards so we can assume he is not a fan of The Sandinistas or The CLASH …..?
as an aside who killed STAB?
went for a look about the shark attack and it’s a ghost town there.
I could tell you but negs would ban me for using the “j” word.
J?
a multi account troll who over ran every comment section. would quite often have full conversations between several of his own avatars. accounts for about 90 percent of all the traffic over there. had serious delusions of grandeur. makes Ben Marcus seem humble. a big part of why I couldn’t be bothered with stab anymore. that coupled with Rory Parker having a hypocritical melt down about the objectification of women in the comments while at the bottom of the stab site was a permanent picture of scantily clad girl arching her back and at the top of the page was a section called “hotter than fish grease”. I used the “J” word here once and negs told me pull my head in. fair call on his part.
Is Rory still there? I couldn’t see any sign of him.
Looks like they got the work experience kiddies writing the articles and no commenters left.
He had a review of bodysurfing fins recently…
did he manage to weave cheap scotch and sedatives into the story?
I didn’t read it, but probably
Could one of you please do an fake Rory article for our amusement?
I don’t like to kick a man when he is down – unless I know he’s not getting back up!
Happened to me, was run off all my business pages, lost my following.
…Schroff?
No Skye, not much left of the little thing I built, lots of civil suits, angry partners etc.
🙁 Run a story?
I don’t know if he is still there. there was about 4 of us left about the same time as Rory’s meltdown. choke did a little story about it over here. J went all over the boards saying the he got us all banned. funny thing was that no-one got banned, we just left. I do miss a few of em. a couple pop up here occasionally but not often. Newman was a good cunt. there also a handful who are pretty regular here now.
I got banned for ripping on Ashton for calling the cops.
Rory was a fat useless prick anyway
There’s no way he’s not here… I’m pretty sure he has a handful of accounts, Luckily he’s knows I have zero tolerance for his act so he has to keep his head down.
Was stalking my personal email for awhile, He’s not well on multiple levels. I actually felt sorry for him.
Sick our good friend the amazing Impervious blond on him!
I’m crooked but not jo crooked. Many an arguments with that cunt.
Bang a few out and see what’s pending. Jew?
To be honest if you write the J word down it goes into a comment pending box awaiting moderation.
I once tracked him down to ask about a comment made regarding someone running a spy ring via the Stab comments board. Was that true or all in his head?
which head?
To be fair, what kind of man doesn’t like a lot of head.
https://vimeo.com/312641127
but they did have this Pete Devries vid that is sick and shows NORTH American surfing in its true form. Probably one of my favorite all around surfers.. just does it right. watch at the 4.13 mark him eat absolute shit!
Yeah, looks good, but how do you get back to your campsite without getting attacked by bears?
Be faster than your filmer.
Only gotta be faster than one.
v nice vid
Came here from there, never went back.
A prime example of the downfalls in next to no moderation of the comments then coming in with an iron fist once it’s to late.
Ashton should’ve stuck to his original plan and just killed the comments all together as they don’t add any value to the website.
is that what happened?
they brought the iron fist down?
The only thing STAB was famous for was the comments. Take that out and it looks pretty weak.
I could be wrong but in my mind no comments equals no traffic. Surfer used to have a healthy comment section on their stories, I remember in particular the story where G-Mac dropped in oh Greg Long at the Cortez Bank, Christ he got a fisting in the comment section! Long story short, some bright spark over there wiped all the comments. I haven’t been back too often since!
They tagged the writers in as moderators and went on a rampage, culled and chopped comments,…dished out bans with no warnings and showed no respect towards the commentators. And yeah now its a ghost town comment wise.
Gotta separate church and state, which we do well here…
Chas has no mod privileges and Derek’s only a Mod due to his account being linked as the primary account holder…
To be fair STAB has the budget for the big production pieces which can be pretty epic. But it feels like they’re stumbling on the day to day engagement with its readership… Hits still high I bet, but thats more of a reflection of its past weight.
I’ve never really understood the logic of waging war on your readers.
Thats a kind of legacy attitude of print based on pleasing advertisers/sensitive pro surfers.
Similar logic to wearing a warm hat, but only on the very apex of your head
I dunno yellow is the warmest color.
Keeps that bald spot warm at least.
Big production pieces are epic till they completely butcher them by revealing the winners, runner ups, surfer, etc all months before the release.
I still see you over there…
Stab in the dark!! I love!!
Here, this will help:
https://youtu.be/RZ2oXzrnti4
I just listened to that after reading ottobeenthere’s special comment.
forget E-lo.if you want to be entertained get on the wsl broadcast of the hang loose pro, turn on the autogenerated subtitles and enjoy. puts the English speaking crew to shame. I have never before heard the term “a breast in triage” used to describe surfing.
Hey, isn’t that’s the Hyperion sewage treatment plant in the background? Blowing up secret spots now, eh elo?
Maybe this?:
Best surfer = most fun
Normal board = normal fun
Special board = special fun
Feel free to extrapolate “special” however best stimulates your fancies.
I heard a funny joke recently from this comic named No Voice Guy.
Goes something like this:
I hate that we got so many Politically Correct words to describe disabled people. It’s all “Special Needs”, “Special Schools”, and “Special Olympics”. Which is why I am so alarmed that we send “Special Forces” to fight wars.
The Okie’s a stooge for the ISA !!?!?!!!