John John discovers the joys of girth.
In the event that John John Florence appears at the Quiksilver Pro in April, he will ride a surfboard shaped by the hands of Jon Pyzel, and finished by artisans amid the gentle whisper of country Oahu.
Pyzel has been making boards for John John Florence, who is twenty six, since the kid was five; since his mama Alex brought the boys to see him at his old bay at Sunset Beach and gave him two-hundred dollars for materials to build John a board.
The yellow four-six with halo of orange rails is “hideous to look at” but now exists as a memorial to a boy destined for greatness.
John John is six-feet two-inches tall and weighs 175 pounds or 188cm and 80 kilograms. His surfboard, which is called the Shadow and originally made for Stab magazine’s blindfold test in 2018, measures 6’0″ x 18 7/8″ and is 2 1/2″ thick.
“It’s still roughly based off the Ghost but it doesn’t have such a refined rail, that super domed deck and the foam isn’t as far forward. It’s a pretty traditional looking outline, a straight-up hi-fi outline,” says Jon.
Other notes: the wide-point is at the exact middle of the board and not a little back, which you’ll find on most super high-performance shooters. It’s around 29 to 30 litres, if you’re into that sorta thing, and it has a single concave through most of the bottom which is loosened by a double concave within.
“I like the double concave because it splits the bottom in half and let’s you roll rail to rail a little easier without taking away any speed. If you have too much single concave, while it’s really fast it tends to get a little sticky. A double concave through that helps. It’s like a vee bottom without the slowness of the vee.”
Rocker?
Roughly the Same as the Ghost, says Jon, although a deeper concave gives it a straighter centreline rocker and it has a little more nose rocker from 18” back to the tip for a hi-fi curve.
Technical, yes? Did you know? That concave creates two different curves? The curve of the rail and the curve of the centreline?
The width of the tail, twelve inches up, is 14 1/2″ which is pulled in via a little hip.
Because Jon didn’t make John John any boards for six months during the Champ’s injury convalescence, he worked especially closely with his new signing, Jack Freestone.
“It was trippy for me,” says Jon, “because I’d been making boards for John for twenty years. At the same time, I started working with Jack. And Jack is a similar size to John, but a little heavier, so he rides a bigger version of everything that John is riding. And that convinced me to get John to try boards bigger than he’d normally ride. Getting Jack on those boards helped John’s direction.”
As for the name, it’s part of his “creepy family.”
Y’know, Ghost, Gremlin, Phantom.
“The Shadow fit right in there,” says Jon.
It was very popular with 19th century British Intelligentsia. The Askesian Society , full of famous British thinkers of the epoch would stumble around on stage under the the influence of laughing gas . Sadly none of the bright sparks thought it could be used as an anesthetic .
Early style mod box, pre Squonk. Chuffing up BGs flavour of preference, Keyboard Warrior.
I have absolutely no clue what you guys are on about.
It sounds suspicious.
Squonka’s are the shit. But damn, people hate on vapers.
Sounds eerily reminiscent of original Flyer.
what a tease – in the title… i was hoping to get into nitty gritty of Johns personal preferences
Jon Pyzel was nice to me you fucking couch potatoes
What’s that smell?
ELO burning some grits?
Thank you for pointing out that concave is put in to flatten the rocker in the center of the board (to make rockered boards faster). There is no lift happening.
Did he just fat shame Jack?
How was the Swellians Gig?
I notice on teh Instagram thing for the event you are referring to everyone as ‘Lords’.
Is that something I need to start slipping into everyday conversations round Newy so I don’t seem too foreign?
Core Lords, mate – that’s what we swellians are known as.
I’m not sure if I qualify but my arts absolute shit and I sing like a sick cow so I reckon I’m on a par with Oz and Vaughan.
I’m in.
SCENARIO 1:
CB in supermarket, slamming 2 pints of milk and a packet of oatbran down onto conveyor belt. “Hey wassup CORE LORDS!?!?”
Older middle-aged checkout lady: …(confused, slightly worried blank look)
SCENARIO 2:
CB in local surf shop, slamming a packet of wax onto the counter “Hey wassup CORE LORDS!?!?”
Surf shop creature of any age:.. (not confused, but completely contemptuous look)
No, no, no – all arseaboutface.
Lesser mortals know you as a Core Lord.
A Core Lord commands respect – coz, well he’s a core lord.
I think lesser mortals would know me as ‘Arseaboutface’.
Though not great possibly preferable to cock breath or dickhead ?
Hey, Bicko !
So you went back to the old haunts of yesteryear – wass the word ?
Same, different ? More cunty, less cunty or what ?
The waves haven’t changed , my aging mates are still keen as ever for a surf and ripping ( on epoxies ) , saw two foils , one at my old rip bank who had no idea that it was a sacred site and asked him to move on politely , A lot more sunny day surfers , 50 surfers out at 1ft and 5 out at 5ft especially away from Sydney ( low dollar means Euro VALs ) , Absence of T-shirts from the big 3 replaced by Deus and Affends etc . Everywhere looks shiny and new but it doesn’t seem that levels of happiness have increased and I really miss the seedy yet tight knit community beachside atmosphere of 80s Sydney .
Aaaww. Nice and grotty wannit!
I’m as happy as a night at the Trades or the evil star or selinas or, fuk it was good
Dunno why
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, And we ruled the surfing world !
Fuk in oath
Thanks to MR and Cheyne and Sydney’s Golden Age of Goofies . Banks , Carroll , Occy , Hardman , Lynch , Bain , Green etc .
Shit
They were all devil spawn ay!
If you see anyone ripping now its rare.
I dunno about levels of happiness but I think levels of sadness have definitely risen in approximate ratio with the shininess.
I don’t want to over simplify but it was probably easy keeping up with the Joneses than the Kardashians , when all one needed to do was mow the lawn , wash the car and out surf them out drink them and out party them on a Saturday Night after the monthly boardriders pointscore ? Ps I never washed the car !
Well I think it is difficult, things occur in a moment and then they do not occur again quite the same way. I don’t see people dying on corners of heroin addiction either, or in crazy car wrecks, drunk with no seatbelts. I do think it was possibly easier being young at the time.
To be totally honest , the saddest shift in Australian Society is possibly when the Battler became a Loser, ending forevever the intersubjective solidarity / mateship myth ?
Yeah
Are you pining for yor old city of Sydney,
We didn’t like your cover story 69
Gone to surf Sydney Beachies? Not even 86 would believe that,
Believe it or not! Unless 99was involved
Control out….
Then they are not core, cb. Prolly some dickhead Val variant.
To be ignored.
Nah I think they’d be my wife and likely my boss.
So apart from being 5th in line from being the World Champion, I need to now aspire to Swellian Core Lord status?
Mmmm… I’ll need to start cross training. I’ve only listened to one episode.
there are some cracking episodes. well worth going back the last couple of years when you have time.
Ed Zachary Disease is a thing.
I love this joke !
Still hungover. Lord!
I for one would prefer a look at the goats sleds for 2019
I’d find the dimensions of an actual goat more interesting.
“Mountain goats can weigh from 125 to 180 lbs. (57 to 82 kilograms) and grow from 49 to 70 inches (124 to 178 centimeters) long. Their black horns grow up to 8 to 12 inches (20 to 30 cm) long. They do not shed their horns, so a goat’s age can be determined by counting the annual growth rings. “
https://www.livescience.com…
All well and good sir
However you neglected
To list their volume
https://www.allmusic.com/al…
What’s their rocker like?
You will have to ask the shepherds
A bit sheepish. You can definitely see the evolution of the design.
Pretty severe https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Not to mention responsive
More details please.
How many foam cells?
Which oil reserve was it sourced
Can you translate to centimeters
What happens at Jon’s
Should stay at Jon’s or John John’s
Or Jack John’s, got it?
Or Jack johnsons
Or Jon John Jackson’s
Or even Jon Jon Johnson’s
Or Jack Jack John Jon’s
Don’t tell
John jacks mateJack Johnsons son
What? That John John once
Tickled Jack Johnson’s Johnson
And didn’t tell Jon?
ha he said tickle
I just took a shit with those exact dims.
Was it also part of the creepy family ?
Possibly named “The Tormented” ?
Is there a “b” dim model ?
So many questions.
The Growler? The Bog Witch? The Bum Troll? The Arse Demon? There are quite a few new models.
gotta have AGB model in there somewhere.
The After Grog Boggie Man?
The Felch ! Draw the short straw ( recycled of course ) !
thats the one.
The Clean Snap
Know you know how
Cote once felt.
Release this demon from me! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Just thought I’d share a little snap that someone took of me commenting.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You do have very nice handwriting.
What about the shooter ?
Had her out in anything decent yet ?
Nope.
Sunday looks good.
Stop fucking around
Jump on a 737max and get on over to Waco.
You’ll know what it’s like in 5minutes.
Thats why they invented credit cards.
yer a fucking genius.
I’ll just tell the wife.
If I don’t come back and write something in the next hour you’ll know I’ve been strung up by my goolies from the nearest gumtree.
We could go together and do a feature for Stab?
They’ll pay and the
missuses will hit Rodeo drive.
Why no head covering?
No shame, that’s good
Everyone’s vaping!
CB , are you truly B3 the missing Banana in Pyjamas ?
I’m like, Darth Vader’s granddad.
They are very lucky to have you as a progenitor !
He got inspired to go wider by Jack Freestone and not Gabby?