Ex-BeachGrit contributor Michael Ciaramella... are you testing boards in southern-ish California?
The weather was gray and the waves mediocre. An onshore crumble riffled the lip. We chose the same out of the way spot. Not really a secret, just a bit mysto and overshadowed by the famous Queen down the road.
Me: Tall, short-legged blonde. Over-optimistic on an an under-volumed thruster. Dirty wax job. JJF traction. Blue Futures. Getting stuck behind the section, again and again.
You: Dark hair and bearded. Pushing a Roberts twin fin hard though the inside section. Winged swallow tail. Hacked off traction. Fins flying, an air-reverse, that was almost a make.
We shared a laugh at the dads pushing their tiny sons into waves. Bathtub toys floating around in the froth. If they aren’t sponsored by age eight, they’ll never amount to anything. I flipped off Yadin’s drone. Then I felt bad. The guy has a hungry Instagram to feed.
We got out of the water at almost the same time. You watched as I tried to nurse a tiny one to the beach. I’ll admit, it wasn’t pretty.
We changed on the beach together, like strangers, keeping just the right distance. Our eyes met. You seemed like maybe you knew me, like you wanted to say something. But you didn’t.
Then we packed up our suits, dripping and heavy, and slung our boards under our arms. We went our separate ways.
You looked familiar, like I’ve seen you around, maybe on the internet somewhere.
Will I see you again?
From memory the final scene of both 120 days of Sodom and the 86 OP pro are extremely similar . Incredibly the only sane character in the final scene is the Italian Marco Jay Luciano Occhilupo , sent back out to win a final he had already won with Mr X ( Glenn Winton ) …… ?
Hey, Leo Fiovaranti, I know you’re lurking….does Occhilupo translate to Wolfeyes?
Harry ( Potter ) Dean ,you have solved the mystery ! Occhi translates to eyes and Lupo to wolf . Eg Occhi Belli becomes in English beautiful eyes …..for lovers of those wonderful Italian girls .
Ha ha ha, that kills.
Ha ha, oh god, not even close. At least, not for me!
Points earned by leash pull manoeuvre can be negated by victim owning a rinse kit
And makes its way to shore intact
He must’ve been standing up. Surely!
La Dolce Vita in Santa Barbara ! Would you like to take over the role played by Marcello Mastroianni ? If it’s a success possibly BG could present a Hollywood / Bollywood all singing , dancing and surfing version of Pasolini ‘s 120 Days of Sodom set at Huntington during the 1986 Op Pro BBQ ?
Ha ha ha, that’s insane. How does your brain even do this.
Too much free time since 92 ?
Ha ha ha, that’s a plot twist I did not see!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Now there’s a challenge. We don’t have wavertorms in these parts yet.
Sorry, not me! Probably just another circus freak who’s picked the cage lock. But I do appreciate the Romeo & Julietness of our hypothetical coupling.
Romeo and Mercutio would’ve been more fitting for you.
Ha ha ha, oh shit! That means there’s some other guy out there!
This makes the joke even funnier, though, I think!
Do you think he reads BG? Is his heart currently pounding?
Ha! I have found there are a number of BG lurkers in my zone. Fortunately, none of them has turned out to be a total creeper or told me I’m totally stupid. Anything is possible, really!
I never mention BG to any of the surfers I work with. Just in case.
ha!!! I do the bike thing to there. Those kids and dads!! I felt honored to get burned!! Didnt seem like a good idea to run over junior tho….jeez the 3 dads, 3 kids… and a drone? Just weird. Didnt they have a heat to catch? (ps dont hate me for riding a yellow longboard there!! ha im 64 and look 84!!! …..I tell everyone go go…and then get the next.
Why don’t you both catch up for a surf and some food anyway. Afterwards you can go your seperate ways and write about the meet up independently of one another. Sort of like a dating game show. The her-side vs his-side of what went down. Two different takes on the same event.
Should be an entertaining read. And you just never know where things may go…….and most importantly may help to either foster relations between Chas and AG or send them both round the bend further.
Speaking of fuck all, I’m putting together a Memorial surf event for a mate. He wasn’t really into the competitive side of surfing, so I’m kind of figuring it to be an anti-contest. A ‘No-Connest’ for want of a better word or two.
So far, the concept is a pretty loose surf session with ‘prizes’ for less obvious achievements. Prizes intended to be music related t-shirts/CDs, possibly stickers, etc.
Any Gritters got any ideas?
Yes have a bunch of old retro “cosmic” boards picked out by a bunch of has beens that never really were contestants random blind style. Oh wait that one might be taken..
Stabbing the Pintail on the Donkey?
Pretty much.
https://vimeo.com/276962631
Yikes. We ain’t going to Hipsters on Acid Creek no more kids.
Just fall back on the groovy “Expression Sessions”. Some things don’t go out of style……
You mean like sitting around gurning?
Best duck dive
Most heinous snaking
Best sabotage, legrope knick.
Biggest wetsuit bulge
Excellent. This is the vein of gold we are looking for.
Longest backhand pig-dog rail grab outside the barrel.
(And seriously, good on you, sounds like a good project for obviously a special guy)
Bitch Please- most bitching about wave size
Greediest Motherfucker
Shittiest Stance
The Claimer- Claim barrels when there weren’t any
The Log Log- paddle outside the lineup on your log and take the biggest dump
Longest time standing around in their budgies
Pretty endless really
WSL has rejected all my ideas but they’re the experts!
Experts at making the best surfers in the world look boring.
Best wave not ridden?
Most Outrageous Claiming has got to be category.
The old faithful 1 beer to be consumed by each competitor before each heat will warm up the proceedings and lead to shenanigans in and out of the water but if it is a dry event ( sobs ) then force surfers to surf switch foot or finless or surf wearing flippers , throw in a body board heat at random and in another get everyone in a heat to line up their boards on the beach then force them to surf the board of the competitor next in line ( can be wonderfully ego deflating trying to wrestle a 5’2” twin fin from the 80s ) . Tag teams are fun , especially when randomly selected . Don’t start to early , keep it fun , 4 hours maximum ( 10 minute heats ) , then let the party begin ….. goodluck
Don’t forget the power wedgies , Crumb Cutlets , taping to posts and grom dunny flush and grom in garbage , tip footy , beach flags and a cricket bat . What’s more woke than a wake ?
I bet he’d wanted to strike up a conversation, there on the beach, but saw that dirty wax job and decided to go home for a wank instead.
The wax job is really embarassing and I should probs fix it.
You know the old saying – “Fucking a midget dressed like Alladin’s monkey” is the best therapy.
Tall – short-legged blonde – but long torso and long arms? Extra paddling power for you Jen
Ha ha, wellll, my arm span is longer than my inseam, so.
awesome – you would paddle right by me!!
Using the Occy genes huh?
i’m like occy in his Rocky fat days
That probably was Mike SierraNevadamella. Did he also accuse Ernest Hemingway of plagiarizing one of his men’s surf sarong reviews?
Aah
Not your best. Hemingway would have been a short-arm full with booties guy anyhow.
I feel like he would be so fucking soused he wouldn’t bother with the suit. Just head on out in trunks — or his underwear. But definitely booties. I feel like Hemingway is definitely a booties guy.
Did you hear the one about him winning a six-word short story writing Comp? His submission was: “For Sale. Baby’s shoes. Never worn.”
But perhaps a modern reading could go “For Sale. SUP foil. Ridden once.”
TOO REAL.
Over the calf booties, and a lit pipe.
May I suggest you pen an article on the subject titled “ The Old Man and the ( Jen ) See “ ?
omg
We only broke up 2 days ago and you’re already trying to fuck a midget dressed like Aladdin’s monkey. What is wrong with you?
There there WIggs. A nice spot of ironing will sort you out.
Since those fucking health inspectors we tied-up in the extra-secret basement have been reported missing, the neighborhood is swarming with the Filth.
I’d steer clear of the joint if I were you.
I don’t know! I’m sorry! I have gone to the bad place, apparently.
If you love something set it free
If she comes back she’s desperate.
Hundy on the midget for the win !
Once you go midget, you never go back
Grease by the water!
Danny so cool and aloof
Sandy so sandy
it was me Volchock, the oc number one bad boy of the surf world