It's anti-anti-depressive!
We all here love surfing with all our hearts. Everyday we love it and love it more and more and more. We love advances in surfboard technology, we love new expressions of wave riding like the stately SUP and magnificent foil, we love the World Surf League, there in Santa Monica, and its partner Jeep, allowing us to surf the world. There is truly nothing not to love. Surfing is like Sarah Lee.
BeachGrit, as you well know, is anti-depressive but have we gotten lost in all the positivity? Are our rose-colored lenses actually clouding our vision?
For yesterday the online surf publication Surfer Today listed things about surfing that are bummers. On and on and on it went and by the end my eyes were filled with tears. My frown was not turned upside-down and would you like to be sad with me for a moment?
1. Surfing is a clothing business.
2. Boardshorts over over-priced.
3. Making surfboards pollutes everything.
4. Also surfboard making uses child labor.
5. Surf wax is poison.
6. The surf industry is racist.
7. The surf industry is ageist.
8. Tanning is bad for you but the surf industry wants you to die from skin cancer.
9. If you are a selfish bastard and choose not to die from skin cancer you kill coral and turtles.
10. Cancer-riddled, anorexic, blonde Caucasian girls are the only sort of girls that get paid.
11. There is no such thing as free surfers. They’re all tools of the Man.
12. Pro surfers get rich while you suffer.
13. The only people who are allowed surf products are Americans, Europeans and Australians.
14. Surf competitions usually run in bigger cities with horrible surf.
15. Big waves hate each other.
16. NGOs run by surfers are corrupt and lousy.
17. Basically all the wetsuits in the world are made in one factory.
18. Corn syrup, booze and diesel-spewing cars are pro surfing’s biggest backers.
19. Weed is fast on their heels, corrupting everything further.
20. Nobody gives two shits about sustainability.
21. Wave pools are basically going to end the world.
You can find me in my car, I suppose, wearing my new Hurley Carhart tee and trunks (shockingly fabulous by the way) with my surfboard riding shotgun. A garden hose attached to the tailpipe will be inserted into the window. Or maybe my surfboard and I will just drive around Las Vegas drinking cheap vodka.
Either way it’ll all be over soon. So long world, you’ll be better off without us.
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You had me at garden hose attached to tailpipe
Ha! Yah, I went to see friends and people watch 🙂
Here ya go. Suck this up
“Together we’re working to build more balanced lineups. #Everywave for everyone.“
WSL. Est 1976
28.5 Too many 28’s
I blame, Townend, cairns Warren etc for my skincancerd mess.
Fuckin cunts.
A strong case Bex. Bronzed aussie? Squamous cell aussie more like.
In Hebrew the meaning of the name Sarah is: Princess. In the Bible, Sarah was the wife of Abraham and mother of Isaac. Her name was originally Sarai (quarrelsome), but God commanded that her name be changed to Sarah before the birth of her son.
Origin of the name Lee: Transferred use of the surname derived from the Old English lēah (wood, clearing, meadow), lee has the meaning “dweller by the wood or clearing.”
It’s a little known fact that before becoming a mother, and therefore a princess, Sarah Lee was a hideous pit dwelling puss ridden ogre. Parents of the region would warn their kids to keep away from the woods, particularly the clearings adjacent. Most did. It was only after SL captured and repeatedly rapped Abraham, a local head strong power walker, that she was able to transform into the princes we now all know and love. This is not a fact at all of course, it’s a parable told to shame young girls and convince them to allow the proximity of disgusting males genitals in order to ensure the continuation of the species.
That was a refreshing read!
I’dve though their editorial policy woulda squashed that anti-corp stuff like a pesky mozzie.
Just popped over to Surfertoday to check it out. The article on the list of bummers is followed/pre-ceded by an article on a special new bubble wrap for transporting surfboards. Making point number 3 even more salient.
how does a poem about surfing on a surf website get marked as spam?
Did you read it? It was corrupting the youth with conflicting messages as to what the WSL is trying to do. I suspect the sympatico between woozle and BG walls are coming down.
What did I miss?!??
An ode. Kind of like a wordy version of the Jeep ad. Not necessarily meant in a bad way.
The complete opposite of Eddie Haiku’s short sharp rapier like stabs at the heart.
Something that baited me to “see more” and then cursed me by dominating my screen, forcing me to refresh against my will (because then I’d miss the *1 new comment below* notification). Don’t worry, I didn’t actually read it so my mind hasn’t been purified by the wisdom imparted.
Read it? I wrote it. Just trying to throw some spark in the snark
Yeah, good luck with that. The snark is strong here.
And now it’s back.
Disqus bots put it in the same box…
Surfer Today, but Hang Glider by Tomorrow.
Clicked on the link and checked it out. Of course there wasn’t an author listed. My guess its a second year Berkeley student who has a new found hate of capitalism. Some good tips though. I guess I’ll just go without a wetsuit or boardshorts to stick it to the man. And next time I want to go surf I’ll just whip up a batch of self made wax really quick.
But hey, the did have “Welcome to Paradise, now go to Hell” on their “the most comprehensive list of surf books” list. Didn’t see “Cocaine and Surfing” though.
K bye, I’ve got to get back over there to read the article on Jeff Spicoli.
Well! Just to balance it out, there’s Inner Happiness!!!
https://www.smh.com.au/life…
Did they just compare learning to surf with learning ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ on bassoon?
It’s all about flow. Thanks Jeanine.
29. Chinese will over populate the line up within 10 years.
Schadenfreude!
On the other hand…
Surfing is the source
Surfing is the scene
Surfing is the silence that bookends a raging scream
Surfing is a passion
Surfing is possession
Surfing is the “just one more” prolonging every session
Surfing is delusion
Surfing is the truth
Surfing is middle-age malaise strangling yester’ youth
Surfing is philosophy
Surfing is a sport
Surfing is a drunken storm and a sober port
Surfing is a poison
Surfing is a drug
Surfing is a death threat given as a simple shrug
Surfing is the way
Surfing is a yew!
Surfing is that chick in high school who’d never talk to you
Surfing is salvation
Surfing is damnation
Surfing is a plethora of paradoxical sensation
Surfing is da kine
Surfing is da jam
Surfing is da ting dat get you slap wit da han’
Surfing is our savior
Surfing is our sin
Surfing is where comprehension and confusion end and begin
Surfing is seduction
Surfing is a foe
Surfing is the way one thinks they’ll immaturely grow
Surfing is a frenzy
Surfing is serene
Surfing is the Buddha lighting nitroglycerine
Surfing is the flux
Surfing is the fall
Surfing is the third of thirty drinks of alcohol
Surfing is addiction
Surfing is sooooooooooooooooo pure
Surfing is the lovechild of a stoic and epicure
Surfing is a shadow
Surfing is a show
Surfing is the shame that lurks behind post-coital glow
Surfing is quixotic
Surfing is ironic
Surfing is the euphoric junkie looking catatonic
Surfing is the history
Surfing is the now
Surfing is tide that turns the stern toward the bow
Surfing is hypnotic
Surfing is psychotic
Surfing is an aquatic way for one to be neurotic
Surfing is a pleasure
Surfing is a pain
Surfing is religion, hobby and an ad campaign
Surfing is pursuit
Surfing is a place
Surfing is a kick in the nuts and then a warm embrace
Surfing the end all
Surfing is the be all
Surfing is the poster I’ll never be in on my wall
Surfing is contemplation
Surfing is insane
Surfing is knowing you’ll get a skin rash from the rain
Surfing is the future
Surfing is demise
Surfing leaves one equal parts miserable and wise
Surfing is the what
The where, the why and the how
Surfing is the thing one vows to never disavow
Surfing is solo
Surfing is removed
Surfing is two wave parks near the landlocked place you moved
Surfing is escape
Surfing is a poem
Surfing is the mistress that you’re fucking in your home
Surfing is a culture
Surfing is release
Surfing is the chaos that somehow provides the peace
Surfing is original
Surfing is nothing new
Surfing is lumps rolling in out of the deep blue
Surfing is a nightmare
Surfing is a plea
Surfing is seven hours spent a half-mile out to sea
Surfing is a climax
Surfing is a mirage
Surfing is a solitary act of sabotage
Surfing is masturbation
Surfing is a song
Surfing is an infatuation that goes on and on and on
Surfing is a death wish
Surfing is seeing God
Surfing is self-destruction with a spiritual facade
Surfing is the sea
Surfing is the shore
Surfing is the line between too many and one more
Surfing is a lesson
Surfing can’t be be taught
Surfing is anticipation more often than not
Surfing is expectation
Surfing is a prayer
Surfing is our own version of a lion’s lair
Surfing is ferocious
Surfing is God’s grace
Surfing is the madness we’re powerless but to embrace
Surfing is my passion
Surfing is my whore
Surfing is the subject of my confiture
some surfing is done on the internet.
The shark bong one killed 2000 followers in 10 minutes.
Hahahahar, that’s fantastic !
Such delicate sensibilities. Don’t worry dez, ya didn’t want those ones.
I still cannot fucking believe that, like what more could people WANT?
This book fooled many SJWs. Important reading for the aspiring progressive.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wo…
plenty of good reasons why adults should not start surfing. kids are excused because they don’t know any better.
I think Derek sometimes gets sad with me for purposefully culling our Insta feed with such posts.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wi…
No one likes us, no one likes us, no one likes us,
We don’t care
Oh yes. Thanks for this. And that’s my new fav club.
millwall, that’s the one:
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Ha! Surfing needs some firms!
I’m not on Insta but my wife thinks your feed is the best thing in the world. It brings much joy/hilarity into bedroom.
She loves BG insta? All Derek until I swing in and destroy!
she do
Nothing like a bit of Beach Grit to spice up the ole marriage
That’s how/why wave pools are ending the world!
I’m starting a wave pool denying club. If we can create unity between the flat earthers, anti-vaxxers and climate deniers, our job will be done.
Would you consider this offer to be our patron?
I’ve never seen a wave pool. Therefore they do not exist.
You’re officially qualified as a board member.
Here’s one of me looking back and about to drop in on an alpha male set peak catcher at a real wave pool from 30 years ago. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I also have a photo of Micheal Jackson and Jesus Christ fondling me in the wave pool changing rooms later that day.
But I’m too scared to post that for obvious legal reasons…
Research it, follow the money, the truth is out there…
How have you guys not jumped all over Stab’s botched Stab in the Dark release yesterday. The commentators are revolting.
I just went in and looked today! My fav was Stab’s response of, “Just go back to yelling at restaurants cuz they don’t let you eat free…” or some such. Ha!
comments did a thorough job of conveying the sentiment surrounding it. no need for reinforcements.
Yeah who cares. People acting like their mom got raped by a dolphin or something.
She didn’t say no!
The comments are very funny. I went to see the film here in SB and considered a review, but eh, nah.
at least not until they release it for free. If it’s good you may bait some poor suckers into paying for it.
You guys actually read Stab?
Hate reading is a hell of a drug!
I resemble that remark.
(Not on Stab)