A bulwark against VAL encroachment!
I don’t expect you to listen to The Grit! podcast as I know you are very busy and have many better things to do but I accidentally stumbled on a genius plan in the last one, a bulwark against VAL and SAL encroachment. I have been out on many days when some middle-aged person riding much foam has paddled for a wave directly in front of me. I give the cursory whistle or bark and have been met with some variation of “I was paddling first” more often than I care to remember.
Oh how depressing it is to witness the last vestiges or order in this mad world slip away. How entirely sad.
David Lee Scales, anyhow, shared a letter from a listener on the podcast, a man who had just been burned egregiously and on purpose. Not by a VAL or SAL but by a true surfer. When he went looking for an apology, the offending surfer just said, “I don’t care. Everybody’s getting burned out here so I’m just going.”
A miserable reminder of the state of our breaking system.
“What should he do?” David Lee asked me. “Punch the man? Yell?”
And right then and right there genius struck. “Neither!” I hollered. “He should team up with the brave man and they should form an ‘insta-local’ unit!”
The insta-local!
How it works is this, you find an aggressive surfer put a proper surfer. Someone who can… turn and things and you say to her or him, “We’re taking over this peak. I block for you then you block for me and we’ll take all the waves we want.”
If a VAL is frustrated by the arrangement he should get out of the water and go home.
That’s surfing, baby!
Insta-localism.
Now insta-localism is a power that should only be used at places the VAL population has ballooned over 50% (Cardiff Reef etc.) but tell me it isn’t the perfect plan. Tell me it won’t help drum surfing straight back to the angry dark ages.
All we need is a hand symbol we can throw in the water to identify partner-less insta-locals and away we go. Can you help? What hand symbol could we employ?
I’m thinking something like this but less onerous.
only if they die in battle; otherwise, they go to valshala, a hip yoga/surf retreat in an other worldly costa rica.
I don’t know about this plan. I mean how does it work after day one? So you team up with a “local” for the day and it goes great. Next time you show up and your partner is there, do you automatically partner up again? Its quite possible that he has found a new dance partner and you’re out in the cold getting blocked. Its like back in the kegger party days. You all remember right? You go to a rager and manage to hook up with a chick for the night. It goes great. And then at the next party there she is, and you just figure you are going to be hooking up again. But she is hanging all over some other guy. Maybe even a SUPPER!!
How about a forecasting app made for vals. This would at least get them all at one place leaving other spots in relative peace. Bumsteer.com should work.i will leave the rest up to someone with skills.
Needs a beating
I said.. FUCK OFF
You don’t actually go there do you Pete?
No but I get nervous when any spots in our state get mentioned
Pete…..it’s all good.
Victorian Vals, reading BG comments, watching this thread, I reckon is .00001% chance.
If that .00001% rocks up to the G…..ry, paddles through the fat guys on mals, sits on the bubble, takes that soft drop into the flat section and pumps his arse off…..well good luck to him. He’s happy there and I won’t see him where I am.
In all due respect.
I took my comment with the name of the break down to help the stress.
Gonna have to hit up Johnno now
Me too – a friend of a friend started surfing a couple of years ago and when I saw him at a party he said Flinders was the only place he knew to go. I didn’t bother to correct him.
Hey Chas, seriously, life is so boring this is what you came up with? Instant localism?? Will Beach-gritters read anything? What about real localism in the news? The guy that got clubbed by a Sup (and had a brain injury) and is now suing the Sup, or the Foil incident where the Foiler almost ‘sliced’ the guy then just Bodyslammed him for good measure. The truth can be stranger than fiction…….
yes but thats so depressing
SAL???!!!!…
Mesekela???!!!!
The immortal and omnipresent surf journalist celebrity, and 11 champ sustainable sockless bald guy brother’s???!!!
Fuck. I’m so fucked. I just need a new article please.
So… would you describe this secret hand movement as a ‘Local Motion’?
…
ahem.
i said ‘Local Motion’!!!
(d’jgettit?)
Yeh LM Local Masterbation
Motion Lotion
Whatever I’ve still got a boner and I’m like hitting the edge for some titillation
Good for you mate stay over it
Yeh you know I am… it’s not like its work, but at the same time, it is.
Nuthin like the post depression a teary maz on the come down to fully understand the depths of depravity that’s led you to this point
A regional shit?
Beard scratch bird throw
Thanks some of us are busy
Fuck I want to hurt some VAL now. Guess I’ll have to go to the shitty pool at the crappy hotel I’m staying at and hold some kids dads head underwater until the bubbles stop coming up.
Bem you need to get back on the meds, quick.
Fuck just let him go… we need a cleanse.
Soooo… romantic… eughh.
how about an app that lets you hire a “pro surfer” (trust fund kid who puts that on their tax forms) who would drop in and full on tackle people outside the gang
You’re speaking my language. Water. Proof. Polo’s!
Collar definitely popped for extra cred.
No. Cal. solution: Surf gnarlier spots… Anybody that shouldn’t be there goes out on a stretcher. problem solved. Plus, it’s fun to see your name in the newspaper for the rescue. Shit. I’m dating myself. Newspapers are gone now, right?
Pervert
Spoken like a true kook from Santa Cruz pretending he doesn’t live in Central California. Cf. Bing Wright. And before you respond kook, I’m from Santa Cruz and trust me you’ve never been an enforcer or local at any spot there ever.
Safe word: don’t stop muh ni6!
I haven’t seen an enforcer in the line up since the late nineties.
Just a lot of guys shouting at me in portuguese. I just reply
Chupa Meu pau!
Then they are instant amigos.
What are you saying? … Yeh I like it in my fat butt thanks for asking… Mmmmm instant amigos.
More or less
Haha Pete
Good trolling, ooooeeee!
Trolling?
Derek’s thrown you a bone
Let’s see if it’s more shit
Christ knows I need it.. I’ve been drinking with the new Imperialists all day and now I’m rocking in the office to 90s grunge and metal by myself trying to decide if it is OK to drive home yet.
It totally is.
Thanks… I’m not even gonna work out how to feed the fish or turn the cunts light off. HOME TIME
See you on RBT.
I love that show
Not bad
Till ur on it,
and ur on it
This is not
My first
Rodeo cunt
On it on the show
rodeo clown
You can
Find me in
A Barrell then mate
No doubt !
I’ll be the cunt in Chinos with long hair and a beard
Fkn oath just kick the whole tank over and bail cunt
How can I upload the vid?
Sounds very satisfying. Toss off on someone’s desk before you leave.
Tomas I thought you were better than that… never, Ever toss on the desk, No.
Always in the top drawer you stupid fkn krout, ALWAYS.
Agree. Top drawer is much classier!
Missed this one – already home now… tomorrow tho
Chas…. check this decapitated lad…. by a foiler VAL….fucking nuts!
https://www.tetongravity.co…
As discussed previously, that is allegedly Jeff Clark on the foil, and as much as I shudder over the situation, isn’t it a bit of a stretch claiming the other guy was ‘almost decapitated’?
It never touched the guy and was in fact several feet away from him.
(I’m not defending the kooky foiler at all)
His Aura was decapitated I think he means?
Jeff I’m not angry with you, just disappointed,
Thanks CB, don’t spend my day on GB monitoring and dissecting issues. Nice to have one like you.
you’re doing it all wrong then.
Hey I’m No. 5 on the Comment Twattery, World Saddo League!
Want my autograph?
How bou thith thymbol? Chath…
https://youtu.be/-W88zecOnWg
boner
Assuming you have some sort of tech that prevents this page being read by SUPs Chas, what happens if a SUP gives us the signal? Do we nod or fuck him off too?
In saying that, I actually think this may be a regional problem.The way I see it, Vals surf Val waves here in Victoria They aren’t stupid enough to surf spots they shouldn’t.
I have seen idiocy at Winki, have you not?
Winki is the biggest Val wave in Victoria.
Not Torquay?
Bells has probably more VALs at the lower end of the ability scale than Winki , we welcome them with ” if ya can’t duck dive go in !”
There may be some that are struggling, but the way it sounds here from Chas etc..is that California is a complete shit show
I hear it is pumping
Fuck the wave will sweep them in if doesn’t wanbt them… happened to me in 1996. Swell said no… and I was like OK I don’t want to die actually. I have wanted to die since that day though – just not on that particular day, maybe 10-15 years after yes I would like to die sometimes.
No not Torkers… It has too many different moods it fucks with the VAL.
Torquay is still in Victoria 👍
Was saying I believe Torquay surf beach is
Haha I know 😜
You trying to ark up Pete?
This thread is pissing him off.
I’m trying to get out, but keep getting sucked back in.
I would actually rate Winki as a Val wave. Probably why I never make an attempt to surf it.
I’m over at the peninsula and there are a few Val waves there which I stay away from as well.
What are Val waves on peninsula? Flinders? Point Leo?
Fuck off
I just assumed that vals drawn to well publicized spots so they can then tell non surfing colleagues to impress them.
For sure.
And if you come from over seas to surf here, you don’t go to PI or the Peninsula, you go to the surf coast.
I had lunch with an IT loser a couple of years ago. It has haunted me ever since. He said yeah I head out west and I usually head to winki on my 7’4 mini mal. I was like fuck, leave the fuck well alone. I don’t go to winki out of respect and I have been surfing solidly for the past 30 years. Fuck!.
I used to love surfing winki. But to be fair it has been a while since the last time. About 18 years.
My sons stay with Pa at the caravan park during the summer.
They play so much basketball, that they don’t have time to try and learn to surf much.
When I visit on the weekends and there are waves, I take them to that other spot you all know about.
If I mention it here, this thread will go into meltdown for sure.
Wiggs reckons the caravan park is full of skinnies.
The worst. Had our eskie stolen from under the caravan as we slept.
Not sure if Pete is still coming to the bbq.
I have, there are some places here tho where VALs fear to tread. Thank fuck.
Sounds like your vals have some form of etiquette. If you know how this happened You should be able to market that kmowledge
To be honest, it not the Vals, it’s the oldies on SUPs that know better.