“This kind of behavior is not going to be tolerated by the `tribe!”
You and I both know that the SUP is a menace which should be confined to rivers, lakes and harbors. We have known this since the very first time we saw one stroking into the lineup with our own eyes. “What is this horror? Why is that man standing like a strange chicken on that flat kayak? Why is he sweeping the ocean with an oar?” None of it made sense until he lost his board near where we were duck diving and almost removed our heads from our bodies. Then the fear instinct took over and we were no longer afforded the luxury of wondering about greater meaning.
Well, it was only a matter of time before the standup paddle pilot became aggressive, like a caged mongrel, and lashed out at innocent surfers in the lineup and let us read the latest incident of a “beach bully” from Fox News San Diego. Let’s not delay because it could be your head on a paddle next.
Testimony began Friday morning in the trial of Paul Taylor Konen, charged with assault with a deadly weapon for allegedly striking Kevin Eslinger in the head with a paddle, as the men were out in the water at Sunset Cliffs on June 26, 2018.
Eslinger, 56, sustained a gash to the back of his head that Deputy District Attorney Matthew Greco said fractured his skull and caused brain damage, rendering him unable to speak at all until days after the injury. Greco alleged that an emergency room physician said the injury looked “like a hammer blow.”
The prosecution contends that after Konen nearly ran into Eslinger out on the water — forcing Eslinger to duck his head in order to avoid being struck by Konen’s paddle board — Eslinger objected to Konen’s flouting of proper surfing etiquette. Konen remarked, “If I can catch a wave, it’s mine,” the victim alleged.
Konen then allegedly ran into Eslinger’s wife and regular surfing partner elsewhere among the waves, knocking her off her board.
When Eslinger paddled out towards the defendant to ask him why he did that, he was struck in the head by an unknown object, which he later came to believe was an intentional blow from Konen’s paddle.
Defense attorney Brian McCarthy alleged that after the incidental encounter with Eslinger, Konen was simply trying to get away. He argued that Eslinger took umbrage and pushed Konen’s board away at first, which Eslinger testified was only to avoid injury.
After seeing his wife go into the water, McCarthy said Eslinger tried to cut Konen off, which Eslinger did not contradict, as he wanted to let Konen know “this kind of behavior is not going to be tolerated by the `tribe,”‘ according to Eslinger.
McCarthy alleged that Eslinger has changed his story several times since the incident, including telling an ER nurse that the back of Konen’s board struck him in the head.
“The question is did my client intentionally assault Mr. Eslinger or was there a situation where Mr. Eslinger got in front of my client’s path and got hurt?” McCarthy said.
Greco alleged that Konen admitted striking Eslinger to another person just before he was arrested. The prosecutor said Konen stated that Eslinger “was going to kill me” and that he swung at him to defend himself.
When you surf today, tell the nearest SUP pilot to head to the beach. Tell him to head to the beach and then find a river, lake or harbor in which to practice his deadly poison. Tell him “This kind of behavior is not going to be tolerated by the tribe!”
Yeah its different now. I was out there last year 2 guys got into it and it ended when one said ‘if you touch me I’ll sue and you’ll lose your house’.
Attn: SUP community…
If you see a bunch of surfers surfing it’s best to head down the beach to an empty peak.
For Gods’ sakes’…Do it for your country.
how can you tell if a surfer has brain damage?
They start SUPing / foiling.
Mahalo you fucking SUPpers, goddamn nerds
See!….consequences, we need real consequences. Konen should be sentenced to death by public stoning. This would send a clear message to SUP riders
Let he who has never dropped in cast the first stone…
Will need a lot of stones…. but I’m sure we’ll get a last one.
I sentence thee to be hit upon thy head by a wavestorm wielding mob until thee ceases to breath.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Highly underrated. Up! ^
You didn’t just summon Mr Marcus did you?
SUP’s are the only people who strive to look handicapped without shame. It’s like adding bumpers when bowling or hitting a baseball off a tee. But they actually are proud of it which is what separates them from anything else that requires skill or effort.
O…I thought this was a article about “The Tribe”…the tribe you speak of is divided and will fall unfortunately!
VAL rule.
Whenever I read these stories I always feel angry and hostile, that the world is being overtaken by kooks. Then I paddle out and see that usually people aren’t pricks, most transgressions are out of ignorance, and people aren’t all that bad! But as Ben Gravy recently said “we are all kooks!”
Depends on the pilot, Jim.
I have witnessed 8 of these cunts turn a lineup that can accomodate 60 or so paddlers into a complete shitfight.
All ex-surfers acting like complete cuntards. Working in packs of 3 or so to pick off all set waves up and down the point.
But in terms of surf fights and assaults in the lineup, there are probably globally as many shark attacks!
Oh mate, it’s getting worse. One big shot sup had his arse handed to him here not so long ago.
Was being a cunt, got warned, told everyone to fuck off and kept on being a cunt. Got dealt to on the beach.
I’m sure there are scuffles and other minor shit everyday, just no one bothers thinking anything of it.
It’ll only get worse is how I’m seeing it. Like I said depends on the pilot but they have a huge advantage in the extra volume and paddle power, no denying that.
I`ve seen it. Every. Fuckin. Set. Wave.
Location has a lot to do with it, in some places most people are in fact pricks,
People’s instinctive travels and the path of anti Semitism
I know Paul Taylor Konen personally…soft spoken dude, and carries a big stick.
Literally.
Damn, that’s heavy: SUPer went from 0 to 1000 in one stroke. I hope Eslinger filed a civil suit; make that coward SUPer pay.
First one I see in a standard lineup I’m telling to GTFOH no questions
“like a trapped hyena”
Like a clenched shite.
like a fumbled açaí bowl brazzo…
Like a stroked beard
“like a caged mongrel”?
or possibly “like a cornered wildebeest”
It’s a bit of an insult to mongrels innit?
SUP – the true mongrel race. Ben?
You could say that SUP is a mongrel sport, in a way, a hybrid of surfing and paddleboarding and surf-skiing other pursuits.
Whatever, if you love the ocean, SUP is fun.
If you like staying away from crowds, SUP is fun.
If you like getting a shitload of exercise and not sitting in a crowd full of grumpy, whiney surfer dorks, SUP is fun.
In Waikiki there was a big Hawaiian guy who would SUP Rockpile wearing a malo with Diamond Head in the background.
It looked cool.
Something very Hawaiian about paddling into a wave standing up.
And for all you Aussie cunts whining about SUP, guess where it came from.
This is Duke at Waikiki in 1939.
There is no image of someone standing up on a surfboard paddling into a wave older than this:
https://www.supthemag.com/v…
Oh and that’s a surf ski and guess where that came from?
That’s right, you cunts: It was a gift from some Australian surf lifesavers.
So Australia is the origin of SUP.
America kindly, generously gave you cunts surfing, and you returned the favor by giving America SUP.
Don’t blame Laird, blame Australia.
HA!
Well played sir.
Your finest ever post.
Now don’t go cunty again.
Yessss!! Blame not Laird, for Aussies they truly are mongrel cunts. And it doesn’t surprise me one bit that SUPs in surf originate with fucking clubbies. They love launching oversized and impractical death machines into a crowded lineup. Almost as much as driving the atv up and down the beach. (Talking about the weekend warriors here)
Blame Australia.
“It could be your head on a paddle next” is very good.
But isn’t calling them pilots a bit of an insult to certain whales and people who wrangle flying machines?
My latest submission to ‘sentences you wouldn’t understand ten years ago’ is:
Check out the latest Kook Of The Day clip on Insta, the guy on the SUP foil getting dropped in on by the surfing dog is supposedly Jeff Clark
I was tensing up while watching that, waiting for someone to get chopped in half. Jeff fucking Kook more like.
He’s most certainly not a look but if it’s him it’s a very kookish move. I find it hard to believe
its Jeff Clark!
Kook is as kook does.
Isn’t that the point of these instas?
As far as I can see, riding a foil in that line up = kook.
Good riddance. Konen is a low life van dwelling smack shooter and everyone he hangs out with at the cliffs is a fucking loser. Everyone who covered for him after the incident should get fucked too.
Yeah, a swing of the stick to the back of the head is beyond obnoxious. Even hockey goons don’t swing their stick at an opponent’s head.
I want to hear more about this guy.
I read this from a local news outlet: “Konen was arrested the next day when police tracked him down to his father’s van. Inside the van was the paddle allegedly used to assault Eslinger, still with a strand of hair stuck to a portion of the paddle that appeared damaged.”
Sounds like a real winner!
The worst is good surfers turn to the darkside and instantly turn into the biggest entitled wave hog pricks ever.
Yeeeeesss, let it flow through you!