Answered: Why Mick Fanning retired in his prime!

He's knockin' on heaven's door!

“He has the voice of an angel” is a cliché batted around far too often. Only three actual male singers in modern human history have actually had a “voice of an angel.” Sam Cooke, Morrissey and Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson just had his angel card pulled which leaves just two. Sam Cooke’s is also in real jeopardy if we’re all being frank.

And so the possible reveal of a replacement second/third has left social media atwitter, if you’ll forgive the pun.

Enter Michael Eugene Fanning crooning Bob Dylan classic Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door. (watch on BeachGrit’s fabulous Instagram account!)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwAxDJ6DbfT/

It was, of course, Axel Rose of Guns n’ Roses who made the song truly famous but Mick eclipses them both with a singular delivery, an élan that whispers greatness.

Oh how we need a star male singer. Michael Buble bubbles for old people. Adam Levine is an utter embarrassment. Those Chainsmokers will soon develop throat cancer a al Sammy Davis Jr. if they’re not careful.

A giant dark hole.

The saddest time in star male singing history until the Quiksilver Pro rolled into Duranbah and…

…Wham*.

The cat is officially out of the bag.

Mick Fanning climbing the charts.

Mick Fanning writing poetry with his tongue.

I know people think Mick and I have an adversarial relationship and they may be right. Mick might hate me but I love him. It’s why I half dedicated a book to “My Michael Eugene Fanning.” (Buy here!)

Who else drinks beer from the bottom of a shoe and puts on the best live performance in professional surfing history, shaming Tom Curren, Peter King, Kelly Slater and all those who have tried and failed?

The voice of an angel.

He’s got it and we can only guess that his time in the recording studio made surfing funny heats an absolute impossibility.

In my heart of hearts I hope not true, though. Surfing needs this version of Mick Fanning now more than ever and I mean that in utmost sincerety.

*George Michael probably also has the “voice of an angel” if we’re all honest.

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shootsthen
shootsthen
7 years ago

Wow.

Crackie Onassis
Crackie Onassis
7 years ago

This is what happens when Australians, nay SURFERS in general, venture into the realm of funk. Surfing is a lot of things but it sure is not funky. I guess that’s why surfers are such culture vultures.

BltByKrmn
BltByKrmn
7 years ago

The bar TVs must have been playing clips of Mic surfing, that’s why he fell asleep.

treddinwater
treddinwater
7 years ago

Bla Bla bla

Owen's Outgoing Tide
Owen's Outgoing Tide
7 years ago

Morrissey is now a racist cunt. too bad.

f u
f u
7 years ago

are you a cultural moron?
axel made “Knockin on Heavens Door” famous?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

I have just come in from the cold and “ taken off my jacket “ . How’s the dawg goin ?

Hippy
Hippy
7 years ago

Wasn’t that a bob dillon song?

If someone with the balance of Mick Fucking Fanning can’t stay on his feet and can’t get up?

Hippy
Hippy
7 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Dylan…. my bad.

Party Pete
Party Pete
7 years ago

JOB would put a camera on the mike so we could look up his nose while he sings.

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

And then I said, goonigooogo

m0rt
m0rt
7 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

Your wifes a bigfoot Gus!

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
7 years ago

Heart on sleeve

sallysays
sallysays
7 years ago

just another retired male pro that cant let go of the limelight how very very sad.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  sallysays

He is a retired competitor but still a very highly paid male pro surfer doing his job by remaining in the limelight ( for better or worse ) .

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Aw, I’m just envious that I can’t get shit-faced, with a license to act stupid, and bellow gibberish to my mates.

John Wayne
John Wayne
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

you forgot to add “and get paid”

Surely that does make you worthy of being envious

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  John Wayne

I think just having the freedom to get ethanol-retarded a few times a year does wonders for the psyche.

When you do it every single night, in a ‘hilarious’ party of one, to the detriment of others, is far far down the road of addiction cuntardry.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Know Thyself .This assertion, imperative in the form, indicates that man must stand and live according his nature. Enjoy the ride CB …… along your path .

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Cheers. You too sir.

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

Gold

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Hola que tal ? San Esteban Patricio Morrisey .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

As Jimmy The Saint enlightened us , so goes the luck of the Irish ?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

He was the only Australian Surfer on the Podium at the Quik Pro , so that’s nice ? Might be different if the Australian surfers competing got a slice of the money which is currently going to those who did compete but are now only singing or coaching or commentating ?

astro
astro
7 years ago

Hahahahar – stir it, Bicko !
World Spin League. Est. 2015

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  astro

As an outside observer, Australians are on the beach with their friends from Brazil , in the commentary box with their friends from America and South Africa , in the Competitors area coaching their athletes from all over the world , singing on stage at events but less and less in heats . Big man Wade did good ( no thanks to quikbongrip ) and tail busting Sally made the semis ( no thanks to ripquikbong ) and thankfully the patron of Australian Surfing , Bob Hurley , gave Reef H a Hurley T-shirt …….

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
7 years ago

According to Mick, he’s at his best with 3 beers in him. And GNR sucks ass.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Shampoo Poo

Great Northern Railway?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

How very dare you combine two of Byron Towns greatest monuments?

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
7 years ago

I was only aware of one Byron Towns monument. Is there another?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago
Reply to  Shampoo Poo

The Railway and The Great Northern Hotels. As good as monuments get. Just needed the Top Pub for the Holy Trinity.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
7 years ago

Moz is such a legend but I’ll leave this here for any Smiths fan or Moz hater alike. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Blacksmiths ! Would make a nice little T-shirt for the little beach at southern end of Newcastle !

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago

lol this shirt is too powerful, Blackies is about as limpwristed as a Morrissey slap

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Would it be OK if I wore it around the corner in the Channel at Grannies’ Hole ?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Just had an after thought. Now that Blacksmiths has a T-shirt and Read Head has matches what the hell will those from Dicks On Park and Knobbies get ?

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Budgie Smugglers?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Great answer CB ! May I add KY Jelly for the young and Viagra for the young at heart ?

Adam
Adam
7 years ago

You know if Tony Abbott was still running this country you would be referring to Mick now as Sir Mick.He should be knighted and deservedly so.

A great Australian, a man of the people and the peoples champ. Seeing Mick doing his thing well into the night on what I would wager started out as a casual Sunday Sesh is part of what makes Australia the greatest country on earth.

Onya Mick ya bloody legend.
PS. Thank fuck he wasnt singing Khe Sanh . Thats just a step to far even if it is Mick.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago
Reply to  Adam

Oh I completely agree.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Adam

Onya Tony!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

The Queen is Dead ( not yet but ) and The Abbot ( The Vicar in a Tutu or boardshorts ) will follow ……anyway I just ASKed Morrissey and he replied ;
If it’s not love
Then it’s the bomb
Then it’s the bomb
That will bring us together.

Let’s hope it’s love and open arms and not boarder patrols and bombs .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Why they wanna come here anyway.?
Or the states?
I thought it was shit here?
Why dont you pick on other countries they running from,ay,ay
Never a bad word for them
You wanna turn everywhere into the lowest common denominator?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Picking on the countries they are running away from is usually the work of our Governments Agents and Agencies …….
Must be an election coming if we as nations of immigrants are being told that immigrants are the enemy ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Thatll do me
Youre a nice bloke and all but youre a manace to society

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

As-salāmu ʿalaykum .

scrubit
scrubit
7 years ago

Moz chimes in, a few hours late to this party, but singing angelically as ever . . .

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

I spose tony is to blame for bruneis islamic hatred of the gay man

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

The Sultan don’t Surf ! If he did he may find harmony with the universe and not be afraid of men poncing on water ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Yeah well a lot of the so called legends coming here are down with that Sharia law shit.
Fuckin disgraceful and anyone who supports them need a good whipping

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

He should meet the Sultan of Oman. Lots to talk about.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Weak

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

??

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

65000 a year is pretty fucken good, whats your problem?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Capitalism relies on growth . Though I have no pecuniary interest in Australia , I would have thought that more people equals more growth ? Ps I have no problem with love but not a big fan of hate ……. as I watch Morning of the Earth slipping away . Good luck with the party and be nice when you get elected and ban foils , please .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Growth with people who dont wanna whip you for sucking on a tinny or a dick hopefully

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

I spent a month in Egypt about 25 years ago and felt very comfortable surrounded by millions of people you appear to be afraid of .I am much more concerned by what will happen to us in the future concerning our relationship with Artificial Intelligence and Global Climate Change more so than any cultural or religious group .

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Afraid?, no, sickened.
I support women and minorities

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Have you thought about a career on Radio ? With Alan and Ray in conflict , now is a time of great opportunity for a new populist voice ?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

I noticed you didnt settle in Egypt.oh yeah they wont let ya
You chose the whitest country on earth.
Its all good mate , let em alll come no docs required
Ill buy some kneepads and make my missus cover up.
Mate she is gonna be be pissed, cause shes a show off
Ill never understand the left with their pro women pro gay and pro people who balatantly oppose that

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

No more absurd than the marriage of Christianity and Consumerism ?
Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

But stil, thats what youve chosen to be a part of

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

My wife likes showing off too. She looked great on public beaches in the Middle East wearing an Aussie flag bikini, (where she could wear it without being associated with a Redneck Wonderland).

Can’t be arsed to continue this pointless discussion, however, assume I strongly oppose your views based on my actual experiences, rather than potential fear of approaching boogeymen.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Must be nice in noosa

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

Can’t get near the beach in Noosa mate. Too many southern immigrants…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

If u don’t see a problem with Sharia, who’s the red neck?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

I do have a problem with Sharia, where it is not b=voted for and imposed upon a population. Can’t see that happening here, despite the best fear-mongering Pauline can buy from the NRA. What happened to the Asians on the container ships? It’s paranoid rambling of the tinfoil hat disorder.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Cool
I’ll stick with God
You stick with allah
And we’ll share a few prophets

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

There ain’t no god. No buts.

Living in the ME for 5 years brought me to the conclusion that the Abrahamic religions are justified from the point of view that if that was your lot on Earth, you would have to believe that there was something amazingly better when you carked it.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

I’ve lived and worked in Brasil Hong Kong and UK so I’m also not a stanger to foreign culture.. I have no problem with an individual of any kind.
I hope you are the one that is right, not me.
The games rules will soon be voted on and on my end the result will be fully respected, if not supported.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

You know the left needs the right and vice versa
The results when one is removed are horrific

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

You might be right. I might be crazy. But I just might be the lunatic you’re looking for.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Cant stand em
We could do a podcast
You know
Yin and yang type thing
Like dave and cha cha

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

Asimovs books on the future of humanity might ease your concern. Great body of work

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

9-10 years living in Muslim countries.Mostly with a family. The most threatened I felt was on holiday back in Australia visiting a place we wouldn’t normally go anywhere near but were visiting brother in law. Stopped at bakery to get a pie and were confronted with heavily tattooed ape, (as in face to toe), wearing a blatantly racist anti-Islamic shirt. My son, (9yrs old), says after ape walked out “what was his problem?” The fact his best friend at the time was an Emirati kid called Faisul, might have something to do with that.

Have been at political rallies in Java, with thousands of people thronging around and never felt any ‘potential’ for violence as opposed to a trip to a game of footy or going to see a band.

*Trigger statement. Be warned*
Might be the alcohol thing. Just saying…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Good on you son of Pie .
Love Surfing
Hate Racism .

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
7 years ago

later on, he sang one in a million.


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