Surfing's great new rivalry!
Don’t let the smile fool you, as they say. The seven-time champion and “greatest surfer in the world”, Stephanie Gilmore, didn’t rise to those dizzy heights without weaving webs and employing muscle when necessary.
Here, we see Stephanie, who is thirty-one, squeezing the Gold Coast’s WSL winner, Caroline Marks, seventeen, like an avid pythoness.
“This was at a party Quiksilver had for their team riders and the whole team, Mikey Wright, Zeke Lau, were there getting on it,” says Sherm. “And Steph came up and bum-rushed Caroline, semi-hugged, semi-tackled, and then tried to force her to guzzler her beer.”
All in jest, of course.
It’s here we must point out that Stephanie’s long-time sponsor, Sanitarium Health and Well-being Company, is owned by a strict Protestant group called The Seventh Day Adventists, whose central belief is that the Second Coming is just around the corner.
So get ready, start prepping.
Anyway, later in the night Stephanie and Caroline split the Quik gig for Italo Ferreira’s victory party at Komune in Coolangatta, where the pair danced the night away, together.
Is this a new version of the Kelly-AI rivalry?
Or better?
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kick her ass, steph!
i always love seeing when the mask cracks a little and you can see an athlete whose public image is nothing but rainbows and smiles but underneath has the competitive instincts of a velociraptor.
Has steph got a fella.?
Find yr own fantasy surfer
you mean alluding to the mentor-protege lesbo love?
Who fucken knows these days.
Really.
Mum was right – the worlds gone to pot.
J bay will reveal a lot
Caroline’s style is about as flash as a rat with a golden tooth, but commenting on her victory only serves to look at the hole instead of the doughnut – Steph is going to be frothing to stamp her high skilled back foot on the tail pad a little harder to make up for the loss at Bells. At least it wasn’t too Brazzos on the podium for the men’s and womens events at the GC.
If some weirdo aussie dude grabbed my sister like that, she’d judo-dump on his face. Oh wait, that’s Stephanie Gilmore, acting like a douchey aussie, tongue out and all, trying to punk Caroline for totally destroying her at her home break, in front of everyone. Her ego is substantially bruised. Seems like Caroline shrugged off the weird “old-person trying to show some type of dominance over younger/better person,” “ill get you next time sort of thing,” as evidenced by the fact that they went out dancing together. Not only is Caroline incredibly articulate and skilled, she’s also showed grace by letting old fart Steph go party with her just so Steph can sooth her ego. I’ve always liked Carrissa and Steph, and im kinda shocked to say this but i am definitely a Caroline fan now (before reading this article i wasnt sure i could watch the same backhand hack over and over and over again). Lets hope the new champ will incorporate some more variety in her surfing.
Times are tough I get it but it seems like you yank cunts will grasp at any old straw these days,even tear down a bonafied champion of the sport to hoist a 17 year old rookie on your shoulders..
Whoa there Krilly, nothing personal against AU or Steph. I’m just “taking a piss,” as your British prison warden forefathers would say. The season will sort out the women’s champ. And although I would like Carissa or Malia, or even Tatiana to win, it seems the 17 year old is fire.
taking *the* piss. ffs
Ah, yes, thank you!
Caroline is not remotely in the same ball-park as Steph or Carissa or the ball-park in the next suburb or the next suburb across or the next suburb after that suburb………..
We’ll see. I haven’t seen much of Caroline and i couldn’t believe she won with one move, but i re-watched the waves and yes, she did win. I know it’s only the first competition but if i had to bet money on who’s gonna be champ, I’d put it on Caroline.
She tackled Tyler Wright to congratulate her when she won her first world title in France ? A big hug and welcome to the elite ladies club , let the games begin ! Now if she had turned up that night and stole her partner that would be different ? ….. who could be so competitively cruel to commit such a heinous crime ………..?
Thanks James for the cultural education on Aussie congratulatory customs and habits. Stealing another competitors’s partner is genius; that would create some real fun!
I hope these help.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
“…if I held you any closer I’d be on the other side of you”
Top Marx CB ! I enjoyed these so much that I farted loudly and left SKID MARX on my undies !
Thanks To Groucho for “ I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.”
Thanks To Karl for helping capitalism to save itself from itself by implementing parts of his vision into its system ?
She blows the other ladies away.
she is the next generation of female surfing.
with more experience she will become unstoppable
too bad she s about as appealing as a hat full of busted assholes though
On a roll, Krill.
Truth.
Give yselves an uppercut
Thwack! Nup, I’m good.
She got a mean backhand hack and fuckall else.
Female Occy ? Fuck off. Not even close
A Hack and 100 G
Thought you dont watch em.
Lots of smallish rights and beach breaks on tour…. it will be a question of how long before the judges get bored, and can she innovate in time to keep ahead of them switching off? She is young and powerful, if she can get more variation she will keep winning heats… still yet to be convinced on her forehand….
Well it is kind of a Pacific Island…
WSL 2019 is so progressive, the women get prime conditions, the men get sent out in slop.
2020 the men will protest and leave to form a rebel tour of their own
My wife must be Jewish because she said the First Coming wasn’t worth celebrating.
Aussies can’t handle their alcohol week.
Decade? Century?
We have even been known to celebrate our losses / drown our sorrows unlike some nations who take their board , go home and sulk , ALONE ?
I tried to remember the last time I was so fucked up that I fell and couldn’t get up JB.
Uni, no. Mexico debauchery… no fall downs or black outs.
Mick’s singing debut is hard to gauge. A man known for elite balance…. ?
Now Steph, tackling a minor. Is she very friendly to the other girls on tour? Didn’t she get assaulted, has led a pretty distanced life since? Is she scared of this kid, can’t be. That heat was an anomaly of anomalies. Kid fit the tight transitions better with a short squatty poo stance, won’t happen again on a real canvas.
Would have LOVED to see Kolohe go “Andy” on the judging and leave alone. Show some fire boy.
You might not of been going hard enough ( to collapse ) and the Gold Coast Sun can drive a man to thirst and sun stroke ?
I was drinking with some guys at a trailer park in Yamba. One dude passes out and they broke out the sharpie pens. If they could do that do their mate, I made sure to lock the door when I went back to my caravan. Forgot all about it, went for a coffee in the morning and there they were…. the human canvas still had not seen himself in a mirror and the whole place was giggling.
You were probably pretty safe not being one of their mates . This sort of shenanigans is usually only done to members of the inner circle by other members of the inner circle and could be considered as a type of rights of passage among the group of friends . The golden rule in Australia is to be among the last standing in the war of attrition …..
I hope Caroline’s style improves.
But you seem so woke
Release your GOATs to the wild
And all will be good
Relax
Be gender fluid
I guess they’re waiting till hell freezes over?
Surely marksy got carded
And Steph forcing drugs on a minor
Goodbye weetbix
I think your haikus need some work Bex.
There was a Scowaiian
from Newy
Who gave up the booze made him screwy
He got a new board,
Put on his legcord
Now his dream is to get on the queuey
More Pottz and Kelly
But these two have what they don’t
Beauty, grace and boobs
Pretty sure potz has boobs
Cazza’s back wrecking cans could be her demise in the long run.
She’s already hot on the heals of mia khalifa
Gives her good leverage in turns