Surfers are the best!
Scott Bass, one of southern California’s most important surfing voices, regularly says, “Surfers are the worst.” And I agree with him but in my corrupted mind “worst” usually means “best.” Take for example the Dustin Hoffman, Warren Beatty vehicle Ishtar. Most critics agree it is one of the worst movies ever made but I think it is one of the best. Also take the musical stylings of Tom Jones. I don’t know that he is officially considered “the worst” but I also think he is the best.
Which brings us to the case of two Ohio surfers who were arrested over the weekend for “inducing panic.” I didn’t know “inducing panic” was an arrestable offense but it certainly sounds like something two surfers would do and let’s turn to Ohio’s local ABC affiliate for more.
Two men are behind bars on and facing charges of inducing panic after allegedly surfing on the swollen Great Miami River.
Passersby spotted the men in the water shortly before 5 p.m., and the men also had asked someone to call for help after they apparently fell in the river in the area of Ohio 47 and Port Huron Drive.
“We had prepared for a water rescue,” Shelby County Sheriff’s Sgt. Joel Howell said. “We weren’t exactly sure if they were in the water.”
However, deputies received word the pair, who were wet and carrying an oar, were just south of town.
“They ended up going to jail for inducing panic, the reason being they left after asking somebody to call for help for them,” said Howell, who added that the men apparently admitted seeing at least one deputy respond.
So they had someone call for help and watched help arrive? Is that the problem?
Also, why the hell were these surfers carrying an oar?
Much to chase, journalistically, on this story but I will maintain that these two are fine surfer examples.
Maybe even dictionary definition fine.
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🎼Panic in the streets of Ohio
Panic in the streets of Birmingham
I wonder to myself
Could life ever be sane again🎶
O for Orsum.
Should’ve split their fucking head open with the oar. No brain, no arrest.
Not to sound desperate but can we get an update on the layday LT?
Re-assessing on Friday – there’s a swell on the way or so they say.
Ohio surfers?
Dumb Democrats should of gone with “inducing panic” instead.
sHoULd oF… lol
Panic in the streets of Ohio
I’d keep going with this but never really got caught up in The Smiths, so don’t know anything else about the song…
Not much there besides that just like everybody else song.
Near the end of the song listeners were advised to burn down the disco and hang the DJ for playing inappropriate music which said nothing to Morrisey about his life .
Dion Agius and Mikey Wright sure aren’t doing themselves any favors getting pinched in Ohio. Ohio sucks.
I surf panic…
I panic because…
What are you panicking?
The official arrest of the WSL
Fa la la la laaAaa
Excuse my morning ramblings, I’m just warming up my thumbs for today’s Open Thread
Creeps drive Jeeps
Like Keramas brings dramas
Think I might be obese. Not Panda obese but Wade obese.
It’s Jeff Spicoli
Posing as the love child of
Machado and Christ
“Also, why the hell were these surfers carrying an oar?” you say…
Elo has been asked this by you as well, just in a different way. So now if you surf, you are classified with the SUPers of the world. We are now officially the worst, and by this, not the best.
As a conjunction or an oar ?
All paddles and oars
Are now deemed deadly weapons
Revolution’s here
Well if you’re a sup, going to harass someone, the blueprint is in- you have to drop your paddle, or its assualt with deadly weapon. The justice system is the great equaliser
Ha! A very provocative painting. Christ wasn’t crucified for our sins. Christ was crucified for sin of violating the 11th Commandment. “Thou shall not SUP”.
Something something cocaine https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
It’s Titled “I Can’t Feel My Face -NUMBer 1”
Eddy would go
Christ wood nailed ?
f’in SUP’s on river waves now too? FFS, it’s worse than the plague!
Us surfers, we’re terrible!
Well, I think we can all agree that Michal Bolton is the worst, and not in a ‘worst meaning best’ way.
nickleback
Ooooohhh. Who would support who if they toured together? A fraught question.
When I was a kid I saw a Bolton/Kenny G double bill.
Who was Kenny G bolted onto?
Were you parents Devil Worshippers or just fans , torturing a child like that …?
I’ve often wondered. The event does explain some of my misanthropic tendencies I think.
Do you now suffer from diabetes?
From all that sweet, sweet saxophone, you mean?
Honey dripping saccharine.
Journey
Two men enter the ring to battle the mighty Miami River’s speed, power and flow progression. 2 men enter. 1 oar 2 men exit. “Help me” understand. What would a WSL Judge say?
Who cares what a judge would say? I want to know what Joe and the ’89 World Champ would say.
Potz – “Wow”
Joe – “Great read from your ’89 world champ Martin Potter”
You’re right. Excellent score or not, it’s only the Seeding Round so it’d make no difference.
You can only hope they would be seeded together in an Elimination Round so at least one would go home in shame.
Throw in an InJURY Wildcard who can deliver 8.0’s with serious conviction.
Bring back Simon LAW ! Simon Says , Bring back Simon Law … or we could call up Marshall Nick ?
Although the whole thing is confusing, its less confusing than the heat structures the wsl uses….and 627 comments? Kinda sad. Game of Clones.
Wait, is 627 a sad amount for BG or the Wozz?
Oboy, I typed without thinking. What I meant to say, is that the current state of competition sucks. IMO At least small wave surfing, with its aerials and aggro/ poo stance surfing. I admit, I’m old school, but I cant see the current state of affairs lasting. They have to get the comps to gnarly/weird/ perfect/etc waves. I’m thinking surfing comps/ will probably end up the way snowboarding has gone. Aerials/gymnastics in controlled bowls pipes etc, and then free boarding in the mts for vids movies and sponsorship. Heck I would watch 2 guys in a river with one paddle….or SurfJournalist clips instead of a current surf comp.
So the 627 comments was sad, (not for BG) mostly cause it was probably 20 people posting 30 times. So yeah, the WSL is in trouble. I mean, thats most likley the total of people who will watch these things, olympics included.
I really liked the Redbull/shipsterns event, even with/without narration or backstory, (or jeez even competition) hell what a location and interesting and challenging wave…
Heck I would watch 2 guys in a river with one paddle….or SurfJournalist cat clips instead of a current surf comp. Life is short. At least one with crappy waves and guys and gals just trying for airs or points. YMMV
fuck the electric shark repelling systems! If you just have the face of the guy on the left on the bottom of your board nothing is going to come near you
Officer: “Look straight ahead.”
Guy on left: “I am.”
Officer marks eye color as “Oreo missing one side.”