What is your favorite archetype?
The waiting period for the fourth stop on tour opens today and how thrilled are you that Margaret River is still on tour? How over the moon? It is a perfect place for the world’s best surfers to come ply their trade as it has everything from scenic backdrops, hearty locals, multiple waves ranging from scary good to scarier better and terror below.
Margaret River is as close as the World Surf League has to a blockbuster film, like Avengers: Endgame, and it’s difficult to imagine it getting pulled out of multiplexes but it almost was and just last year.
Who could forget the multiple shark sightings and attacks that led to the cancellation of the event, its moving to Uluwatu and possibly never screening in Western Australia again?
Well, magic was made behind the scenes to keep the show going on until 2021 and this year’s cast is the best ever. Reluctant leading man John John Florence is back and sitting atop the Jeep Yellow Jersey Sand Dune Aerial Leaderboard. “Ingénue” Kanoa Igarashi nipping at his heels. “Bad boy with a heart of gold” Jeremy Flores is in the top ten and “hard-luck heartthrob” Julian Wilson needs a result just to keep from being let go.
And two great stars have been recast in wonderful new roles. Gabriel Medina as the “damsel in distress” and Kelly Slater as the “hardboiled cop.” Let’s turn to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation to listen as they get into character.
The Margaret River Pro, held in the south-west of Western Australia, was abandoned mid competition last year after two non-fatal shark attacks occurred on the same day.
The two recreational surfers had taken to the waves in Gracetown, 15 kilometres north from where the competition was being held, when they were bitten.
It prompted Brazilian’s Gabriel Medina and Italo Ferreira to take to social media with claims they did not feel safe surfing in the area.
Despite his safety concerns last year, Medina has returned to Margaret River.
The reigning world champion said the extra safety measures announced for this year’s competition helped to lure him back.
“Last year was a tough one, everywhere we were surfing, we were seeing sharks,” he said.
“This year, they’ve put in place more security — jet skis, drones and planes.
“I feel much more confident.”
Justin Majeks from Surfing WA, which has helped to organise the competition, said this year a drone would take to the skies to protect surfers.
“It’s a dedicated drone that will essentially fly all competition day, pretty much from first light,” he said.
He said there would also be a fleet of jet skis and trained water patrol staff on duty.
Surfing legend Kelly Slater is on his final year of the pro circuit and said he felt comfortable in the Margaret River water.
“I’ve never really had much of a fear of sharks,” he said.
Oh I just love it. I absolutely just love it and will be on the edge of my seat, munching popcorn and cheering on the bad boy. Always my favorite archetype but what’s yours?
Who are you hoping will steal the show?
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I love sitting in the pub by myself, doing a crossword or sudoku. No concern of anyone spiking my drink.
Equal Pay Critics,
Do the women paddling out shortly after daybreak (riskier time of day) for the first heat move the needle towards acceptance at all?
They had people (mainly lower income minorities) scrubbing off the boats with soap and water and NO protection! Its crazy all the trenches zig-zagging around the site where they dug up the old sewer lines that the radioactive water was poured down.
Can’t believe Sharkbanz or Shark Shield haven’t put Gabs on their roster!?! Not like it’s going to conflict with Gillette…
Perfectly concentric 80 time overhead lines!
I worked at Hunters Point by Oakland where they towed these boats back, to try and figure out how to decontaminate. The whole site is still radioactive.
I doubt he’s even punched a cone let alone a human
During a moment of weakness I believe he has achieved both.
Kanoa did it for him
John John F is just stoked on the whole thing because he freakin shreds that wave to pieces… When he’s on at that wave it’s basically “The JJF Show”…hope the size picks up so he can really unleash
Schrodinger’s Cunt.
Gabby, in the Box, is both alive and dead at the same time, until observed.
Loaded to the gills at work. Reheated dry quiche for me instead of live hot sizzzling sausages.
They should have loaded shottys in plastic bags on the skis
I was rapping with a client and asked about her plans for her honeymoon…. she mentions Reunion Island as a possibility. Her fiance wants to learn how to surf on the honeymoon. ???!!!!!!
Hah – the old feed husband to the sharks trick !
She’s a gold digger, mark my words.
I suggested Kaanapali instead…. heeheheeeeeee
So dark, so good.
That was great !
Haaa slater just made gabs look like the biggest pussy.
Thatll work cause Slats head looks like the biggest knob
(s)he thinks a down carve is ripping the strip from the top
I hate myself so I’m going to play this drinking game: 1 drink anytime the broadcast mentions sharks, finish my drink if they stop the event for a shark, quit drinking if theres an attack
Get her over and done quick !
Hoist it anytime Joe launches into one of his historical anecdotes.
You’ll be motherless by the end of a heat.
Drink every time Pottz says “That’s what you gotta do.” You’ll be in hospital within the hour.
– “Here. He. Goes. Bottom. Turn. To. Top. Turn. Combo”.
– “That’s the money all day long, Joe. You gotta bank it in the heat. Searing top turn, arcing off the bottom, through the Trans-cision. Back in my day….
– “Remember. In. Nineteen. Eighty. Three. When. Gary. Kong. Elkerton. Lost. In. The. Third. Round. Here. He. Goes. Bottom. Turn. To. Top. Turn. Combo.”
– “that’s the money all day long, Joe…”
Lets assume Pottz knows that the term Money Shot means cumming on a girls face in a porn movie. It’s either a hilarious in joke that the commentators are perpetrating on an oblivious vanilla surf league, or it’s an insight into Pottz’s viewing habits on lay days.
I also hate myself.
Awesome! feel free to play along then!
Cool. I’m in. Plan to get wasted and throw things at my TV.
Drones, planes, jetskis? Why not just hire Mick Fanning and have him floating out back all event?
They surf the air, roads, etc. but if they really want t to sell me a Jeep then one of these motherf*ckers needs to surf a shark!
That ad is a metaphor for ‘jumping the shark’.
That ad is just plain terrible which is surprising because Jeep has done some good advertising in the past.
Tombstone Scott….. Tombstone. I think? Any involvement with the Witness’ cult is cause for alarm, but I think Kilmer had throat cancer or liver rotting, something.
Great post for tomorrow…. Would you rather have an imminent gun fight with liver sclerosis or paddle out at Main Beach with sharks everywhere?
gabs is a bitch, he wont surf the box, will wax his chest instead
he’d rather wax the box than surf the box. full brazilian
And poor ol’Whitey
Plays misunderstood loner
Silent yet deadly
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
I had ‘Vampire Bats’ as my ringtone for a while. I may need to reinstate that for maximum office annoyance.