Mark Mathews, returns from his supposed career-ending injury, Italo defends Bali crown.

Open Thread double-bill: Comment live on Red Bull big-waver at Shipsterns + round one, WSL, Bali!

Can't make it to a sports bar? Get your kicks, live, here.

Didn’t we have a gay ol time when we opened the comments on the final day at Bells. So many keyboards simultaneously being pecked in so many countries, pop, pop, pop.

Today, as you might know, maybe not, the Red Bull Cape Fear event at Shipsterns, in Tasmania, is walking into a sixteen-second period, fifteen-foot swell.

Format? Pretty simple.

Twenty surfers. Four five-man heats. Winner of each heat hits the final.

Surfers include: Russ Bierke (who won it last time), Mick Fanning, Justin ‘Jughead’ Allport (underground shredder from Australia), little Pedro ‘Scooby’ Vianna, Laurie Towner, Ryan Hipwood, Billy Kemper, Nathan  Florence, Koa Rothman and Tasmanian shredders Alex Zawadzki, Shaun Wallbank, James McKean, James Holmer-Cross, Tyler Hollmer Cross, Mikey Brennan, Zebulon Critchlow, Brook Phillips and Marti Paradisis.

Returning from what was supposed to be a career-ending injury is Mark Mathews, who is also the contest director.

Marky has also brought along his Hollywood pal Chris Hemsworth, whom he has been towing with, lately.

Keramas, Bali?

First heat John John.

Second heat, Jordy.

Third heat, Italo.

Fourth, Filipe.

Tell me that ain’t worth strutting around for.

Red Bull starts at nine am, Tassie time and Bali, which is five thousand clicks north-west of Tasmania, is two hours behind.

Day filled, yes?

Watch Red Bull Cape Fear here. 

Watch WSL, Bali, here. 

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John Wayne

The Air boys are on – with the two Blakey’s at the wheel.

Chief Hot stuff

Malias on fire and she ain’t even got a wave yet!
She’s a blast!

John Wayne

So know one is watching the ladies…….just switched it on and can almost see why.

Do you think surfing is a non-marquee sport? More bad news for the Wozzel today perhaps.

Foxtel has flagged a cut to its spending on “non-marquee sporting content” and another price rise for customers after its controlling shareholder News Corp revealed the pay TV provider made a financial loss of $417 million in 2018.

News Corp was forced to disclose the information to the ASX Monday morning as it had provided the information to potential lenders as it seeks refinancing for Foxtel debt totalling $US1.68 billion.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

It’s on the tv in the background, but I’m too busy fucking around on Beachgrit and making food and changing up the different cartridges on the vape pens. Kinda half watching it, but nothing has really caught my eye. But now that I looked again,
K Jonson and Nikki Van Dijk are wearing some skimpy little bikinis.
Nice. Me likely!

Chief Hot stuff

I really get off on the chicks!

John Wayne

LT’s take on Ladies Heat 5 will be interesting…….the Malia and Macy standoff. 8 mins to go and not a wave ridden from these two. Defay on wave 5.

Chief Hot stuff

He Dosent watch it.
He’s afraid to realize he surfs like a girl.

John Wayne

lets be real here not many blokes surf like Malia

Macy got schooled then.

Chief Hot stuff

It sucks how they don’t interview her after every heat.

Chief Hot stuff

Nothing lasts forever.

Christian S. Molnar

You would think the Val Surf League would have learned something from the Bells Contest, but, alas, no.
#WSLBarelymoreexcitingthanwatchinggolf

Chief Hot stuff

Millenials are so needy don’t you think?

Christian S. Molnar

The only thing I can say positive about millennials Bex, is they evidently don’t golf—which is cool. Fuck golfing.

Chief Hot stuff

People try to put em down
Even though they don’t play a round.
The things they do make them seem cold
They won’t cry bout me being old.
Just talkin bout my degeneration

Chief Hot stuff

So stoked for Nate
Hellman!
Didn’t get hit quite so hard with the ugly stick as bro bro

mike m

Yup.

Christian S. Molnar

Please crowdfund
#putlukeeganoutofourmisery
#lukeeliminationfund

The Bitchy Crab

Yeah? I like him.

Christian S. Molnar

I loved him as a surfer. As an announcer, he sucks–captain obvious–who adds nothing to the already weak broadcast.

John Wayne

What has happened to BL this year?

Christian S. Molnar

No se brother. I’d take Barton back anyday instead of Luke.

Christian S. Molnar

“What weve seen today is the guy that gets a couple waves right of the bat does the best”

Genius, that Luke.

Christian S. Molnar

The real question is why are they holding this contest in 1-2 waves?

Krill

Crazy annoying hey mate, just like a gnarly greek pube stuck in ya front teeth, I’d dare imagine.

Christian S. Molnar

That sounds like your graphic personal experience speaking there you dare say matey

Krill

Na just noticed ya chick in ya avatar pic is all

Christian S. Molnar

Not an avatar and Indian not Greek

Krill

Then ya know what I’m talking about then.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Haha. I know, an Indian could be even more dark and stained than a Greek.

Krill

And if ya dont know,know ya know

Christian S. Molnar

and she keeps that kitty well shaved

Krill

Grecian pubic loom?

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Happened to me in Italy I dare say. I went there once and had a romance with an Italian chick my friends said had an “ass to die for”. But a bush to contend with. Was trimmed on the sides neatly, but still some long ones in places. I had rugburns on the base of my dick for a week after I left Italy. And yes, I did get some Italian pubes stuck in my teeth. No regrets!
All healed up in time by the time I went to South France to continue my European conquest!

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

But, I’ve lately been seriously thinking about going to Greece. You know I would still man up and just do what needs to be done.

Krill

What about as a business man or a lover?

Christian S. Molnar

The former, I have no idea. Why dont you tell us about the latter. Did he give you a courtesy reach around?

Krill

Na that’d be the tits but.

Christian S. Molnar

or your clit if he was buggering you

Krill

Whatever big Lou kinks on

Krill

You are hereby sentenced to a life time of sitting on the shoulder getting drenched in a thousand shooners of rail spray

Christian S. Molnar

Seriously, Joan hit that lip perfectly???

Krill

Yes mate, all one thousand of them.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

What if Nathan Florence wins the next Eddie comp or whatever it’s officially called next time they run a huge Waimea event?

channelbottom

Now at lunch. Trying to watch Shippies but video won’t play.
Fuckin useless.

Krill

Fuck CB I just mumbled some shit at the client and bailed at 10, picked up a carton, loaded the betting account up and ripped in.. priorities mate.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Wouldn’t play for me on the cell phone at all. Picked up the little lady’s tablet for the first time in a long time and it worked like a charm. After I poked around on her iPad for a bit to see what tabs and such were open and her search history recently was. Didn’t find anything scandalous, but a few shoe and purse shopping sites open. Now I feel bad like a snooping jerk. Oh well, what can I say? I’m an asshole.

John Wayne

no harm as long as you are happy for her to do the same to you……what would she find?

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

All kinds of scandalous shit.

John Wayne

Post a frame crab – might be more exciting than the surfing right now

ricmatic

Buy her some shoes!

The Bitchy Crab

Maybe she goes into private browsing while searching, researching, gang-bangs.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Could very well be the case mate. She is a kinky little minx. And let’s just say that a dirty dawg like me doesn’t exactly end up living with a choir girl. A girl like Rosie would leave me in a heartbeat.

longtom

get her a girlfriend!

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

We have talked about it, but it has never actually really happened.
With her.

grumpy local

seek and ye shall find

ricmatic

Why are they running? Fork must be bleak.

Mads Naeraa

Go Laurie!
Terribly underscored on his 6-something, or?

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Final of Shipsterns and Hollmer-Cross styles thru a fucking bomb and not a peep from anyone on here?

John Wayne

He got towed in so I could not count it….nice style though

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

I can appreciate that angle of thinking.
How’s the profile shots of Mikey “Mongrel” Wright #69 looking like a character. Fuck yeah. Watching Bali on the tv, shippies on the tablet and comments on the cell phone all at once. I Don’t usually catch the contests live, but right now everything is going on all at one right now!

Superworm

A meh barrel on a six footer, and he was towed in. Hardly the second coming of the tow-in revolution, let alone a perfect ten

Jim Fu

Why, with about 4 mins to go in the final, did the H-C bros elect not to go on the wave that creamed Jughead? I reckon that they’ll regret that decision for the rest of their lives!.

Smurfaholic

I remember. Bali 2008. Surfing Kuta couple days after Padang event. Slater paddles out. I ask him why he went switch for the second barrel on that one wave.

“It’s just what the wave asked for, man.”

Guy must be special. Ain’t no wave ever asked me to hop switch foot as I’m bottom-turning into a tube stall.

ricmatic

Slater’s best wave of 2019

E-Wing Fighter Pilot

Let down on both events

The Bitchy Crab

Yeah, and such bullish forecasts too.

John Wayne

Yep give me the Friday arvo of Bells with a box any day of the week

Superworm

That’s letting Swellnet off lightly, it’s not like they missed by a hair, 4-6ft shippies was about 3 orders of magnitude away from what they predicted.
Actually where’s Chas, Shippies has surely earnt it’s place on the “not so big wave tour”?

David

slater fucking robbed, that turn was insane

longtom

wow!

John Wayne

Have to agree – even though he is the third best in the water that turn was better than some of the 6’s they have been throwing down

David

Judges don’t appreciate how hard they are to not fall backwards on haha

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Another sick turn by Slater. I’m enjoying watching him in this heat.

John Wayne

they rewarded that one ! The old boy still has it thats for sure.

John Wayne

Ricardo just got a 5.33 for a single turn crap air. It was well over scored compared to Slaters 360 carve – and I am a kiwi!

John Wayne

Kelly looks a few gears behind the others so far…..but how’s his form for a 47 yr old in 2 foot crap. Impressive.

longtom

I don’t dig Rosie’s blouse.

The Bitchy Crab

Too boho?

longtom

anti-vax soccer mum

ricmatic

A catch!

longtom

already caught!

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

I know, she has so much potential. If she would only truly show us what she was fully capable of.

ricmatic

Gabs drew a mildcard

MaxNeoprene

At Shipsterns it looks like they can chose to paddle or tow? Is that the dealio? Question. What would ELO do ?

The Bitchy Crab

Rocket SUP!

John Wayne

Come on Gab make my day.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

The Bitchy Crab

You got multis all through the seeding round? Pays a million bucks on ten!

John Wayne

Yeah I have a few on…..but not too many later in the round. If Gabby can win this I would have got the first 6 so might call it for the day. Might be able to buy Balter instead of New this week Am conflicted though as would like to see Rio win.

The Bitchy Crab

What’s the payout?

John Wayne

I had a yankee…..so its been good. max payout was 7.26 on the four leg multi. But the yankee gives you a much better end result if you miss one leg.

Kolohe / Seth / Kanoa /Griffin gives you $33.78 if you fancy that one

The Bitchy Crab

That’s a sweet lil play.

hollowsurf

unlucky…


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