Retire to a life of warm-water tubes and happy toucans on your window sill for the price of a mid-level Porsche!
A little under a year ago, the Colapinto family threw their Costa Rican vacay home on the market for a hundred and sixty-five gees.
Now, to my eye, admittedly jaundiced from living in a town where two million bucks won’t buy a house, that’s a throwaway price ain’t it? To live among the birds and monkeys and sloths (both the two-toed and three-pronged versions), turtles and toucans and whatever else and to surf in water so warm you have to employ wax as hard as a pebble?
Apparently, not.
The Colapintos have sliced ten gees off the original price of their three-bed, two-shitter vacay villa, with pool, at Playa Hermosa in Costa Rica, a Central American country so stable it don’t have an army and where sex workers are able to ply their noble trade legally.
Here’s what Daddy Colapinto got to say.
Welcome to your beautiful new home in the tranquil Las Brisas Resort And Villas with an outdoor heated swimming pool, an indoor swimming pool and complete entertainment area. Enjoy spending time with friends and family on this amazing resort property you can call home.
This is where Griffin took his first Surf trip with the Family. We enjoyed taking a boat out to a world class wave 10 minutes from the house at the Los Suenos Harbor & Resort. You can pack a cooler and get dropped off at a secluded beach with no one around. The family enjoyed going to fine restaurants at night and adventuring on all the great tours/ zip line/ national park 30 min away.
Great for all families. Super fun waves to learn on in Jaco, 5 minutes away or really good waves for advanced surfers right out front of Hermosa. Walking distance to empty beaches / waves. Cool vibe at the resort. Breakfast made daily by the hotel, maid service, beautiful pool. Fun to have private house but still meet other travelers at the hotel. 8 cabins on property.
I looked everywhere for negatives about living in Costa Rica and apart from pretty animals, girls, warm water, cheap living and so on, it looks pretty sweet.
Costa Rica is way more dangerous than Nicaragua. Go figure.
It used to be uncrowded. Those days are long gone around those parts. Spent many a day trekking through the jungle before any of those place were there. There are some very cool waterfalls back there. Long live Popo!
I was gonna purchase the home until griffin dropped in on me at lowers a few weeks ago. Full disclosure… I would drop in on me too.
If i am approached mid break in by an Axe wielding madman I don’t think I would take the time to ponder if he would be better off sans the heavy sharp end. Also “Axe handle wielding madman” doesn’t roll of the tough as smoothly.
165k is pretty cheap when you can rent it out when you are not there. Probably better return than cash sitting in the bank.
Costa Rica is a weird place. Tamarindo (Tamagringo) was kind of Bali for the yanks (but way smaller). I still remember “Nachos as big as your ass” on the menu and you could go listen to Robert August do his nightly spiel on the History of Surfing (he paints with a very broad brush).
You have to change your mindset, it’s very much like going on some weird yoga camp where you get up, do yoga and then breakfast. There are so many Vals, all they do is wake up, surf onshore closeouts on brutalised tufflites, go have breakfast, sleep through the midday heat and then have an afternoon session. Very atypical place for a surf trip. They pour molasses on the road to keep the dust down, so if you are on a really tight budget, just rock up with a knife and fork and eat the road!
Matthew Perrin undoubtably has Griffin’s contact dets…
Sloth = making $ in real estate.
“two shitter”, you should be in real estate!
I’m all about renting someone else’s sloth-infested vacation home. Let the owner deal with eradicating those lazy vermin…and replacing the vodka I found in their supposedly locked owners cabinet
Does it come with anti-inflammatory CBD’s??!
No…only mind-melting THC’s.
he had a mixed week – scored well with the women out of the water and poorly with the men and women in the water. I liked their vigilante approach. There needs to be more of it. I get annoyed seeing how the vast majority of pros behave in the lineup. Time people stood up to them.
Why are they selling? Have they been run out of town due to dropping in on everyone? I see Griffin left a bad impression in Saquarema last week.
Maybe outgrown the joint? I had a holiday place, once, right on the top of a headland overlooking a world-class point, and the third time I went there, I thought, ooh-wee-ooo, I’m selling. I felt trapped. Better to save money, mix up the vacays.
Ohhhh that must hurt now. Ouch.
They are most probably upgrading – moving closer to the waves. I was surprised to read that it had an outdoor heated swimming pool. Pretty sure last time I checked CR was just north of the equator. And they have a heated indoor pool. Wow. Thats acclimatising lol.
Pattaya sounds nice..
Intercom…
Simon, Pattaya..
Did ya get it JB??
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Thanks, I’d forgotten that one!
That’s it!
Classic.
They could form an army of sex workers.
I’d have no probs standing to attention
150 grand wouldn’t buy you a chicken coop here in Lennox.
I’d be happy enough sleeping with an axe handle by the bed for that.
they have over developed every surf town, there is more stuff on every hill, every lot that looked unbuildable, is loaded, you need masks walking through towns that 10 ten years ago were quiet and you could enjoy a beer. now it is fucking mess of english language speakers who are the third or 4th owners of the businesses or homes. the bubble is bursting.
you think so?
I see bulldozers parked in every cow paddock.
Maybe I’m hoping the fuckwits lose a bit and the Tico’s get there land and language back
Now the Noah family have moved into the area there might be some relief soon
As in the Ark?
That’s them
Why the axe handle reference?
apparently thieves like to appear in the night.
In Bondi it almost buys a continental breakfast, with large coffee, at Bills.
with savings like that you could probably afford a whole axe.
what’s the sales rates like on your real estate stories Dezza. did Owens hillside retreat sell?
Million bucks, no commission.
..hey, just noticed your “concierge” tab, speaking of real estate. Nice.
https://beachgrit.com/conci…
How long have you been waiting to work the phrase ‘pussy palace’ into a headline? It must have been such a relief to finally do it. Congrats.
It does give the impression that it could be used as a filming location for outdoor porn ?
If it wasn’t for the other eight villas, yes…
..that elevated PoV camera angle reeks of a Netflix mini series about brave, underpaid DEA agents Vs nasty, swarthy cartel lords. Just needs the bi-lobed “through the binoculars” framing.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I hope “stabbin’ cabin” is next.
every boy needs a ‘stabbin cabin’
I imagined a paradise for homeless Costa Rican cats.
had a family beach house in my late twenties, resided in it during the off season.. it worked wonders for my talents.
which talents came out on top?
my lack of talents were augmented for sure.
either going to enhance the surfing or enhance the gigolo skills – cant get off that easy champ!!
oh, a lot of gigolo, but those talents were refined, I just started out kicking my coverage a bit, still working on the surfing.
Haha nice it is good to refine the game in the confines of a sweet little setup – now the surfing game and what a game it is
Then rape dungeon
yes and the parents must be real animals in this here “pussy palace” jaja
Very long time. Was an expression of Andy Irons’, a man, interestingly, who enjoyed Costa Rica to the hilt.
Its a similar ratio of savings with the marching powder compared to your home beach as well if you believe the reports……………..
Costa Rica is one place I have a hankering for. Don’t know why. Maybe because it sort of sounds like Byron back in the 70s.
Australian has Sharks and right hand point breaks , Costa Rica has Crocodiles and Pavones .
https://youtu.be/31dYC64SYDg
My thighs got tired looking at that wave.
The unbridled joy of thigh pain from length of ride on a left hand point break ….. sadly denied surfers on the CT by the WSL ?
Where oh where is the righthand version of Pavones, please?
Somewhere on Australia’s East Coast , Mozambique , The Canaries or Cap Verde , Norway or Iceland , California , Vancouver , Alaska or Indonesia ….. NZ ?
morocco?
There is nothing in NZ but a left. Keep moving.
Every second Aussie and Cali town has one, by the looks of that clip
And next week everyone of those towns from the mid coast of NSW north will be firing. Take your pick. Depending on the winds of course. We have a very unusual swell coming for this time of the year. Exciting times ahead.
I know. I’ll be at my favourite N NSW right point, thank you very much.
Good for you. I will be at my second favourite – can not make it as far as I would like sadly.
don’t expect much, totally gutted of sand.
get your rock runner game on.
Ah well. Will do my best to enjoy.
Re sand there, I vividly recall being pinned to the very sandy bottom in complete darkness on the big Monday during the Black NE swell. Scary.
Interesting to see how the half built Palmy “reef” holds up
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Oh please stay out and get an extra barrel each surf for me. I am envious.
Yeah? Very long, good shape though not proper hollow, rippable, fun? Not 837 close mates out?
Doesn’t have to be tropical warm, but wouldn’t hurt.
All that AND 837 mates!!
Baja
that dude is a little too fucking serious for me
Except for the rampant crime. Gringo houses being broken into is a nightly occurrence. And a blind eye is generally turned, it’s almost like the town thief occupies the same level as the town plumber, cobbler, baker, coke dealer etc
Reminds me of the glory days of the Big Building Companies in Australia like Lend Lease who offered their Employees Profit Sharing and then weren’t surprised that these workers worked harder , turned up on time and didn’t steal . If you don’t distribute the wealth as Adam Smith advised then as Marx predicted you will have to build walls around your palaces to keep the down trodden out ?
Nah they (criminal element, not the whole populace) just like stealing, from as each other as much as tourists. Still lovely people for the most part.
I was only taking the piss . Where I lived in France , if you didn’t buy the Local Firemen’s Xmas Calendar , it was made known that your house might burn down slowly to ashes before they got out of bed and made the 12 km dash to put it out ….
Did you have to buy it? And, Did they have their hoses out? In the calendar, I mean?
Yes but the hoses were safely stored away ….
I spent six months there and the only thing the ticos stole was my girlfriend. Right before I left they gave her back unfortunately.
I did think “fishing” through the barred windows with line and hooks was pretty clever although my neighbor certainly didn’t think so.
I had two break ins at two different houses. Everything taken. Knew who it was (not a vendetta against me they just did it to everyone). Cops would come round with tape measures and size up the twisted bars and giant hole in the fly screen and be like, hmmm yep, this is where he did it. Lo siento.
Still came out on top when you factor in savings on the yeyo tho.
I traded a skimboard for a night of crack in some jungle crack shack with some new homies and it was totally worth it. Guy was yelling “There’s a spider on my back GET IT OFF!!!” (no spiders). The memory still brings a smile to my face. I also learned that trick of pulling half the cigarette filter out (the long way) and then you could inhale the last residue of your coke lines up into the cig tip and smoke it. Very frugal.
The near constant thefts (20 years ago) were definitely a major part of gringo life. It’s got to be the worst place I’ve ever traveled for petty thievery. Hmm… crack, coke and petty crime. I wonder if there’s a correlation. The sudden in-your-face wealth of the tourists probably didn’t make it seem like a big deal to lift a few things that are easily replaced. Obviously we’re talking about a very small percentage of the population. The majority were warm and welcoming.
I was having a little pre 6 am surf, morning action with my wonderful lady, frombe style, and i look up from her beautiful behind and see that there is was the tico gardner in the window watching, I yelled at him.. needless to say I surfed with monkey blue balls that hurt like hell. Love Costa… good waves, warm water, good tico food and beers for sure.. great peoples.. the turistas suck donkey balls for sure.. maybe the worst kind to be honest… entitled little gen x’er fucks and baby boomers from Mauntauk.
Ghetto flossing as we’d call it.
Pura vida!
did they give her back the clap?
Are they the little things that Carissa had on the tail of her board in Brazil ? Silly me , Hi Ho Doug Silva and all things Zorro . You meant claps and not claws ……
Did they steal girl and use? is the relationship still intact? Is cuckoldry a pleasure or a horror?
these are good questions that deserve an answer
This was like two decades ago. She’s a distant memory. Pleasure or horror? It was most certainly a horror to be in love with a… what rhymes with horror? Utter devastation that turned my big tender young heart into a cold splintered rock.
I don’t think they let Poops watch and touch himself while they used her for their selfish purposes and desires. Doesn’t sound like it would have been a pleasure for him. How bout your experiences as a cuckhold? Did you like? I think I remember you expressing pleasure at watching a “beautiful veiny cock” drive your woman wild with ecstasy in your presence? I could be mistaken though.
They probably lured her away with big bags of coke if she could be tempted by that stuff. If that’s how she was, you were probably better off without her then, and now. They might have done you a favor. You probably didn’t think that at the time though. If this is true, I can only imagine the vile things she let them do to her, in exchange for another white line, and another…
The locals’ vibe in Rica has turned much more negative over the last decade. Hard to blame them with the massive inequity between the locals and the gringos overrunning the coast. Costa Rica basically charges U.S. prices, but the locals are not paid accordingly. Additionally, a huge percentage of coastal businesses are owned by foreigners.
Conquistadores
lots of Venezuelan immigrants have flooded the country and taken jobs from ticos
Nicaraguans as well, although Costa Rica has used them as cheap labor for years or maybe decades.
I have a small place in a remote part of Indo…..we don’t have coke issues but ice / shaboo now. We have always had small petty crime issues and its bloody annoying. With the shaboo its getting worse. We have a saying – that if its not bolted down it won’t be there when you get home. I am away from there for 6 months sometimes and am always nervous as hell about what will be gone. I don’t even keep my motorbike in my place when I am gone. I lock it inside one of the local shops homes when away and pay them a small fee. Frustrating but needs to be done.
People feel that way about foreign land ownership in Australia. Indo no different
Yep. Our issues over there are not with foreign land ownership but more what foreigners have done to corrupt the locals over the years. Frustrating.
Honest question – is buying a place in Indo actually a sound investment give a) you never actually own the place, and b) the low cost of accommodation?
You can actually own the land if you wish to – you just need to jump through a lot of hoops and it might not be viable financially to do it. Lots of different options available. Best idea is to just lease the land for a very long time in your own name. Its much cheaper than owning a beach house in NZ or Australia – so it works for me. And this way is totally legal and legit. Waves are consistently good. Just be super careful where you select and take your time. Don’t rush in – you will most probably regret it. Hanging out at a place for a few weeks at a time, a few times a year for several years is a very different experience to getting yourself a piece of real estate and setting up a base. You need to work out how much you are going to use it. But a lot of people are more than happy to just take advantage of the cheap accom options and come and go. For me it works brilliantly and I know many others that have had nothing but grief / regret. If you stay in Bali its easy to on-sell leases etc. I think if you are going to stay in Bali though you might as well holiday in Oz.
Tell me about your adventures there!
My secret shame – I worked as a VAL surf instructor for a couple seasons. In a pretty ritzy town too, so less euro backpacker babes (tho there were a couple) than cashed up seppos gripping a yoga mat and their copy of ‘it’s great to suck at something’
Got robbed at gunpoint in Playa Hermosa. The place sucks. Wouldn’t pay $150.00 for this, uh, “pussy palace.”