Have we have gotten too myopic, focusing only on sharks and brain-eating amoebas to the detriment of bluebottles, tangly seaweed and sea lice?
We all know there are a lot of very bad things that can happen whilst surfing, sharks, brain-eating amoebas, etc. and we do our best, here, to warn you about them but I fear we have gotten too myopic, focusing only on sharks and brain-eating amoebas to the detriment of sea-needles, bluebottles, tangly seaweed and sea lice.
This morning, as I was enjoying a hot mug of green tea, I stumbled upon a story in the Virginia-Pilot that terrified me and, I think, will terrify you. Would you like a peek?
When Heather Browning and her family set out for Dam Neck beach Wednesday, they hoped to swim, eat some hoagies from Wawa and relax.
The Hampton native lives in Fredericksburg but has a condo in Virginia Beach, so she and her family come to Hampton Roads about once a month. Wednesday was their last beach day, said Browning, 40.
By 4 p.m., they’d been in the water for about 30 minutes, Browning said. All was swell until she and her brother noticed something odd.
“We were just messing around in the surf,” she said. “I looked at the water and noticed this patch of what looked like a cloud of sand. It wasn’t moving right.”
Browning said that when waves break near the shore, they kick up sand. The clumps she saw were behind the waves, floating in the water on their own, she said.
Turns out, it was sea lice — tiny, semi-transparent creatures with blue or brown spots.
When she recognized them, she yelled for her 15-year-old brother to get out.
“He was already running out of the water and stripping off his swim shirt,” she said.
The patches, she said, were stinging like “absolute fire,” so she ran to the sand and pulled off her bathing suit.
Etc.
It goes on for a few thousand more words, discussing what locals told Heather Browning to do in order to salve the wounds and also revealed that sea lice are actually baby crabs and the burning sensation is them pinching the skin with their miniature claws.
That last bit sounds totally unbelievable but the Virginia-Pilot is not known for trafficking in fake news so we must trust the veracity.
Anyhow, I hope you keep sea lice in the back of your mind when you paddle out for your next surf.
Also, do you have a story to share that’s as terrifying as Heather Browning’s?
Please do!
Lastly, Derek Rielly and I keep regular track of BeachGrit‘s high-water mark.
His recent interview with Ellie-Jean Coffey is currently it. This story here might be our low-water mark. Has there been another this tangentially related to surfing and of less merit?
I think not.
The term “sea lice” is so fucking confusing, mostly because they no relationship to actual sea lice or head lice for that matter.
“Sea lice is skin irritation due to the trapping of small jellyfish larvae underneath bathing suits in the ocean. Pressure on the larvae causes them to release inflammatory, stinging cells that cause itching,
irritation, and red bumps on the skin. Doctors also call this sea bather’s eruption or pica-pica, which means “itchy-itchy” in Spanish. Although they’re called sea lice, these larvae have no relation to the lice that cause head lice. They aren’t even sea lice — actual sea lice only bite fish. However, the term has stuck over time.”
https://www.healthline.com/…
“experiences” are totally performing right now. Let’s circle back with evolved high level content strategy discussions, dig down and test it on a granular level. Everyone with me?
– Scary Smiley Marketing Guy
Don’t underestimate yourself, Chas. You can go much lower than Derek.
Don’t correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t the wsl suffer a savage seaweed attack at bells this year?
The athletes were lucky to live after the floating seaweed repeatedly floated near them.
The whole event had to be shutdown and abandoned till a wave pool can be built in Melbourne closer to a decent coffee shop.
Never underestimate the dangers of the ocean !
I think I’m getting the hang of BG bs now!
yes I believe Turps stated the following: “A little splash..sees a blade of seaweed in the water..He’ll hop on the ski and reset!!”
I was surfing Bingin a few years ago when it was invaded by a swarm of stinging jellyfish. Pretty soon the crowd was gone as paddling back meant multiple stings with every stroke. One of the Bra Boys stayed and me of course – being a masochist I thought it was my lucky day
Did ya
Dunno about lice, but twice the smallest little blue bottle tentacle across my hand has brought me to my knees in Cabo. Only cure is hot water on the spot and lots of booze down the gullet
Thanks god for wave pools coming soon, because its pretty fucking scary getting sand in your hair, boardies or wetsuit – giving you potential for rashes not to mention having to walk across the sand in bare feet when it is fucking hot!! And absolutely terrifying if an odd piece of seaweed is thrown into the mix just floating around pretending to be a shark!
Why are they mostly Jewish these guys?
It’s Bill Clinton. If it ain’t Stains, it’s Steins. If not a devil with the blue dress on, it’s a blue party donor.
..steady on. Much safer to go on Summer Camp with a Rabbi than a Priest.
I’ll take your word for it
I read an interesting article about emerging theories about he became a billionaire hedge fund manager. One guy brought up an interesting point. You don’t become a billionaire hedge fund manager quietly. No one seems to know who invests their $ with him. His business is offshore in the Virgin Islands. If he took funds and put them in the S&P 500, there’s less reporting requirements, and no need to disclose investors to the SEC. This other hedge fund manager drew the conclusion that a blackmail scheme would fit almost too neatly into the logical explanation column for how he became so wealthy.
When the Feds dig further into his financials, there’s gonna be a long line of sick bastards just like him that will be swept up into the prosecution.
Hell do his time playing tennis and writing a book.
Its all been mapped out.
It’s retail and repo
We giveth then taketh away
Derek, Chas, Negs – can you guys get rid of the new off site content that you’ve thoughtfully decided to embed into articles.
It’s unstable as fuck, causing crashes and page reloads. It’s bullshit …
The user experience is in the toilet, right now.
Does no one test shit anymore before they publish ?
Prolly not – too busy thinking about clicks.
I was considering advertising my company on here.
You should !
Why not ?
Ok
Let’s see if you can guess which one is us
Playing hard to get, huh ? Brand non-recognition – sounds like a good exit strategy for a business.
At our bored meeting this morning I floated the idea of marketing dildo shaped inflatable propeller driven SUPS
after reviewing this site the board agreed there is a market to be exploited here
Hmm, I think a site with a high European demographic would be better.
Just a suggestion- I think you’re onto something with that.
Woold you consider demonstrating our seniors model in which we plan to have a vital call button installed?
Natch, mate. Anytime.
We’ve allready signed Chas Smith and his home boy Eric Logan to demo the MAGA model in the states.
A profound choice, bexy.
The bodily unadorned will identify with okie and the wannabe punk attitude types will find plenty of body art on our boy.
May not be a good idea to have them appear together … but what do I know ? It’s your donkey, you root it your way.
Edit: just took me 5 mins of fucking around to log back on …. its bullshit. You need to fix this. adsparc pffft adfail.
Yep
Tommy and Nikki Carroll can’t get off theirs
They got one for free of course
Derek just wanted a dildo.
Well, I hope my one has a bottom deck … and a gangway.
And a wheelhouse and a fridge.
It is balls. Crashes my phone, stalls my laptop.
Deleted until we investigate further. Goddamn these things.
Onya !
Edit: hey Derek, I deleted all history and cookies etc.
I can now reload a page and diqus will hold my log on. So that’s an improvement…
Yea – that offsite content is a bastard.
Damn goog and all advertisers to Hell.
Oh! Ive been re-loading my login in for weeks, thought it was my shitty laptop…
I like that one about the artist at the art gallery.
Better than that sea lice guff
80s, Palm Beach, Gold Coast, sweet peachy beach-break peaks. After catching some fun waves on a beautiful 5’11” San Juan Thruster based off of original Simon Anderson templates, (therefore state of the art). Was paddling back out when I duck-dived through a 2′ insider. Copped a face full of jelly blubber. (The classic pale blue jellyfish that the jelly in the name comes from). In and of themselves, they aren’t venomous, but their tentacles, shortish, kind of inverted lungs, are a haven for sea lice.
The fuckers attacked my face, and by the time I made it to shore, I was effectively blind. Scary as that shit was, having to make my way across the Gold Coast Highway was worse. Well, that and the creeping fear that it was permanent. Lasted about 30 minutes, but could have done without that experience.
Could defo have used those sunnies you used to give away.*
*Hint, fucking hint…
What a time to be English!
Still masters of the universe
Apart from gabby and italo who rule the salty seas
!
This is the high water mark – with crabs.
Also tangentially, if you counted each mini sea crab in said cloud it would probably add up to the amount of times daily Disqus logs you out of your account on here.
Also bluebottles flock to me like a Coffee sister to an influencer deal. Got one wrapped under my watch as a grom and my arm and hand swelled up so much it looked like when you blow up a dishwashing glove like a balloon.
(Edit: bluebottle under watch, not Coffee sister)
Phew, Thank god !
Don’t think a Coffey sister would fit under your watch by size of their cans
The whole thing is bullshit. Green tea!
Also. “sea lice” are really just broken up bits of jellyfish.
Cmon Nick it’s not G Land ’97 in the rock pool. You reckon I’m gonna believe you over the esteemed editors at the Virginia Pilot when it comes to marine biology?
Next you’ll be telling me cungi aren’t actually full of whale piss.
got me a 1 mil shorty to temper the little buggers and wouldn’t you know it works wonders.. I get lit up like a xmas tree so this has been a revelation over the last few weeks. xcel is the only company that I could find a 1/.5 shorty from.. and the only thing that sucks is it is a back zip.
Burkini works better..
??
One piece Lycra
ah google. it probably does, but dam serious.. it works. I am the happiest I have ever been in CAm.. no vinagre all over me to temper the little fuckers post surf. only a few arm and leg bites, but those don’t get ground into you like my dad’s cigarette.. wait did I say that?
James Bickerton has more to say than David Joiney.
I listened for 50 years before deciding to speak and refuse to apologize for finally becoming loquacious .
You got licquorice? Can I have some?
I wont tell you your stats…
NZ Beach Grit Cricket Brothers just wondering if you’ve got any nails left ? 1 over …..fuck , sorry Brothers …
That was a crazy, insane ending.
I followed it on a live ticker …… The Luck of the Poms in the last 2 overs … ? .. Don’t let em beat you when it really counts in the real World Cup , RUGBY , in September !
No chance there !
Don’t get mad , get even ! I wrote the first comment with 2 overs to go and feel like I am wearing Greg Brady’s Tiki …
We don’t get mad over sport……its just a game at the end of the day. Unless we lose of course lol.
One day , 2 ties and two losses… (well I was for Nikki at J Bay as well )
Not sure we’re actually the best ODI team in the world, but a world cup is a world cup!
Congrats champ . It was an exciting match .If I was Stokes I would be calling my bat EXCALIBUR after the 2 that became a 6 . Magic or witchcraft , Destiny or Chaos ? I don’t think I have ever seen that done in the wildest games of Backyard Barbie Big Bash , tip and run , six and out ,one handed catching only , hit the dog on the full win the match Cricket ?
Been done already
Excalibur was a bat made for and used by Kiwi Lance Cairns in 1983
Then copies were marketed as such . .
WTF – I thought I had listened to enough Aint That Swell Podcasts to gleen a bit of Aussie slang / standard prose, but shit, I’m not even sure what sport you all are talking about. Footie I assume? I feel like such an American wanker…
SC Gary , it is Cricket and an incredibly unlucky NZ lost to England in the World Cup Final ( 50 Overs , also known as One Day Cricket ) . A summer sport some what similar to Baseball with a bat and ball and the team which scores the most runs wins , except in the final they tied , and then in the tiebreaker they tied , and then , unlike in football ( soccer ) England won .
With the rise of the Indian Economy and online betting , it has become a huge sport and played in all the Former British Colonies from Barbados to Brisbane , Pakistan to Jamaica and Cape Town to London .
wow – really lame on my part. My friend Rama here at work is from India and we talk baseball and Cricket from time to time. I think I could deal with 50 overs, but the multi-day matches/games (?) could be a bit much for me. Thanks for clarifying.
…and that catch Stokes #55 made was incredible. A catch that even a baseball player with a glove would have had a tough time with. The WSL needs to have some sort of SUPER OVER to make things more dramatic. Watched a 10 minute hightlight real and pretty much had little clue what was going on half the time. Sorry NZ fans.
What a night of sport from the Old Dart. That was so close. How was the deflected 4 of Stoke’s bat………….
Had a croc swim into the line-up at a river mouth we were surfing in Costa Rica which was accompanied by lightening striking the water at what felt like 30 feet away from me. Paddled in, broke my favorite board in the shore pound and proceeded to get chewed up by the no-see-um little fleas, or flys or whatever the fuck they are! Fun trip though.
Is this a yelp review for Hotel Del Rey?
She’s 40 and her brother is 15. But, it is Virginia, not surprised in that Dam Neck of the woods.
The old Virginia Poker , Incest … A game the whole family can play … ? ( just kidding )
Quite conspicuously placed “Hampton natiive”, “lives in Fredericksburg”, got a “condo in Virginia Beach”.
That’s some value added plausible deniability right there.
“..eat some hoagies from Wawa” …WTF?
A combo of these stories about the legendary lad that was sharing lice with E-JC might have been better. Dudes love to scratch what itches.
Sea lice can cause insanity.
Sea fleas are hardcore tho
https://cdn3-www.mandatory….
Hillel was cool, these muffs?
Chad Smith is a good fit as drummer. Plus, bonus points for having Will Farrell as his doppelganger.
https://youtu.be/0uBOtQOO70Y
Salty Peppers ..playing Grumpy Locals v Jonny VAL Utah
https://youtu.be/sJEp8vk3_9c
Why are they wearing rash guards over their wetsuits?
So they can stay RED HOT …. Now if only the board was a Chili and not and Arrow ..
I thought the article was about lice, not fleas.
Like the universe , most BG comment threads ,start at the singularity and continue to expand and evolve in all directions ….?
Groupies make rash decisions. Irrashional insandtitty I tell ya.
That would be a waste of time.