What mysteries unfurl when you go shred?
It is impossible, I think, to preserve a neutral attitude towards the Vulnerable Adult Learner surfer. You either hate and burn intolerance or you are one.
Earlier, a BeachGrit reader forwarded a story about a pop-journalist VAL in Costa Rica who writes of his profound experiences with surfing. The story appears on the Tina Brown-created news site The Daily Beast, an odd place that was once howled down by the Taliban for its inaccuracies.
Todd Plummer is an ordinary man, a “built-for-comfort-not-for-speed travel writer from Boston.” He has, in the course of his reporting, been “heli-skiing, walking with wolves, biking across the Scottish Highlands, falconry, and ice-climbing.”
Surfing in Costa Rica was his next challenge, which as the title of his story suggests, delivers multiple enlightenments.
I soon learned that my favorite part of the experience was sitting in the lineup of surfers waiting to catch waves. If nothing else came from that lesson with Matos, I learned how to properly sit up on my longboard in the water. Of course there were a few flips and falls, times when I would accidentally gyrate my way off the board and fall into the water with legs akimbo, but the most gratifying part of the day was socializing with the other surfers and learning their stories. There was a retired fashion executive from New York who moved to the area so he could surf every day.
And,
Towards the end of my lesson, as if out of my dreams, a total hunk paddled by—the quintessential surfer dude, with tousled hair and washboard abs. Without even so much as saying hello, he gave me some advice.
“Dude, I’ve been watching you. Everything you’re thinking, you gotta leave it on the shore,” he said. “It’s all mental, it’s all in your head.”
And,
I still do not know much about surfing, but this I know for sure: it can’t be told, it must be felt. The confidence and balance it takes to surf is not a one-two-three-step instruction, but comes from within. It’s about learning to feel the waves and to find your center on the board. Passing judgment on yourself is not going to make you a better surfer—leaving your insecurities on the shore is.
And, of course, because a story like this without a pithy ending is like a massage without your paper underpants being yanked down and your eyeballs rolling back in your head like marbles,
When I got back from Costa Rica and excitedly texted a travel writer friend who surfs that I recently “learned how to surf,” she corrected me.
“Todd, you are still learning. A true surfer knows he never has fully learned.”
Question: what has surfing taught you?
To love yourself?
That life ain’t fair?
That the meek will be eaten alive?
That there isn’t a better way to distribute precious resources than through a meritocracy?
surfing has taught me that I am painfully sub-par at most things, but especially surfing. still gonna keep trying though bc to be honest no matter how much I suck at something I’m still a sore loser
I’ve never pissed that much in my life drinking Mich Ultra. I surf the urinal!
haha…not here!! well, maybe? Who knows whats behind the tinted glass. I just try and bike down to look at the dreary surf once a week. Summer here is weird.
Debris flow and fire also left some sort of weird vibe. Didnt make any new spots either.
Zactly. And the chat in the water. Guaranteed anyone who initiates chat in the water is intimidated by either their inability or the difference from your ability and engages to be part of the ‘brotherhood’.
Had a guy on a bright yellow soft top trying to yap with me the other day. I casually engaged while allowing the sweep to push him out of position and took his waves. Good times.
The waves usually sort everyone out like that…Due to advanced years I’m ending up at VAL spots around here….its sorta fun tho, the waves look empty to me even when packed, and people get so freaked when you are riding. They cant figure out how to go sideways, instead of straight off. Softboards dont hurt your shins at all when you go around them!
I may have to wear a leash tho, as begininners dont really understand they need to avoid loose longboards. I dont want to clock some toddler and get pounded by the dad, or mom!
It’s cuz they got your purchase history for having bought a Wavestorm. Your cover is blown VAL! HAHAH!
Bohdi actually made it in from Bells, moved to Nosara and now gives random, unsolicited advice to kooks.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
He could use it as a claim
Surfing taught me to move out of New Jersey…..
The problem with VALs isn’t the learning part, it’s the Dunning-Krugerness of overwhlming self-entitlement. That’s what needs to be wiped out of ’em.
Todd Plummer is one of the best names I have ever heard
Surfing has taught me not to hate the VALS – but to hate the SURF SCHOOLS – aks “KOOK FACTORIES” – b/c they are the ones teaching them how to fish instead of just giving them a fish which is the most anyone should do. LET”S RAIL AGAINST THE TEACHERS – NOT THE STUDENTS
Should probably give them a 9ft foamie log first. A fish isn’t a great place to start.
…. that “Surfers Are The Worst”- myself included. See all comments above and below for proof.
Self-love equals sociopathic narcissism. Sounds like our cultural moment in toto.
Self-loathing and self-love are flip sides of the same coin- overweening pride.
Like all the best things in life- family, friends, religious worship- surfing causes me to forget myself, to think about myself less. If surfing has taught me anything, it’s that self-forgetfulness is one of the cornerstones of a beautiful life…
…as long as some kook VAL doesn’t get in my way so I have to beat his ass.
He sells pots too to avoid suspicion
Surfing taught me self reliance and gave me an independent esteem than my life on land. And to hate every other human on this planet except those I chose to bring with me as long as they don’t sit within two peaks of my position. Point break etiquette requires leaving said “friends” at home and I subsequently became a recluse surfing alone at night. That led to drinking alone and damn it was nice and quiet so why not get your food take away and eat by yourself in the car? That waitress looked pretty hot and she smiled, but fuck a date would cost me half the flight to Mexico next week so much easier to pop my cork myself then to waste an evening plying her for attention especially because she would only complain in the Mexican Jungle all day anyway. Of course night surfing included driving without any traffic, no wonder the vampires have so many rules against work commutes and such. Family holidays were soon not tolerated as they incringed on my alone time and they were too loud anyway all that social drinking. Of course the trips to the NOrth Shore had to be eliminated…. I could go to the jungle 3 times for every Oahu trip and not talk to a single soul.
Now I just type comments from the serenity of my home office, barely have to speak now that this blessed desk top has email. Wife expects zero conversation from me and I’m never home so works out well though the dog prefers her which oddly frustrates me because ol Coop is quiet herself…. great wingman.
All this because some old dude in Oxnard paddled up to me and began yelling at me. 15 years old and the entire beach is empty and he paddles right on top of me to lecture.
“Surf alone, don’t say a fucking word, find your own peak, if you’re in position go it doesn’t matter if you die, surf well and swim for your fucking board and if I see you on the street, you’ve never seen me before do you understand that you fucking punk?”
What he didn’t know that fateful morning is another old dude in Malibu had already told me that and that’s why I was surfing alone without a leash. Or the cat at Tarantula’s that mumbled something similar with clenched fists, but no, it was that friendly buddy in San Pedro who explained why he had put that other kid in the hospital for even looking at a wave the longshoreman coveted. I think that was it now that I recall. The thought of having my arm broken to surf an empty point and then climb up a cliff to get medical attention while several in a small dirt lot pretended not to notice my urgency was enough.
I would learn the code and become a surfer.
Oxnard . That may explain the Silver Strands in your hair ? Sometimes nature balances itself out as I once drove a young pro surfer from Oxnard in the 80s , extremely polite and friendly ,to a secret spot south of Sydney not knowing at the time he came from one of the most localized surfing communities on the US West Coast .
I surf alone Bicko because people are still wary of those old stories about the Ox. Ironic thing is, Silver Strand is now a free for all… surf schools and all. But across the harbor each way, the code is still enforced. Strictly. Surfing strand was a mission impossible I had wired, but it wasn’t easy.
Reality is, San Pedro was gnarlier. Point breaks and long shore man… no where to hide.
Anecdote…. say you followed the code and waited your turn, took the set wave in queue and slowly made your way back to the take off zone, last in line of course. Say there are 3 other older guys out. Not one would A. acknowledge your wave B. look at you again. All you would see is the back of their heads as if you didn’t exist.
The lesson to be learned is simple. If you did see their face again, you were about to be punched out with no words exchanged.
You boys in Oz were into humiliation…. probably a cuckold gene carried over from Great Britain. In America, it’s all about the exclusivity born of violent protectionism.
In Hawaii, it was an odd combination of both.
Thanks Hippy for putting it down in words . I started surfing as a 12 year old blow in at Cronulla around 78 just when Heroin was leaving town . According to local legend it divided the Grumpy Locals into 3 Groups ;
Group 1 45% went to meet their maker
Group 2 45% went to meet their prison warden
Group 3 10% went somewhere else to hide for a while
So the early 80s in Cronulla was more like Lord of the Flies meets Clockwork Orange meets Nevermind the Bollocks , an open canvas of creativity on the wave face and never ending violence in the water as the new guard fought to fill the vacuum .
Juan Guzman’s arrest last February had the same effect James. The vacuum of power all across the pacific coast of mainland Mexico has erupted into new turf wars.
Ironic thing about your scenario is, we had the same thing happening. Do you know where that hidden 10% escaped to?
As far away from Sydney as possible .Tasmania , South Australia , NSW North Coast . A few came back to shape boards and occasionally tell the tales . As a young lower middle class kid , whatever that means , I was so shocked when a local hero ,super stylish goofy , sadly recently deceased , and I were having a chat , around 88 , and he came out and said “ Anyway Bicko when I was in Jail “ and I said “ fuck what for ? “ he said “ selling Drugs “ and innocent unworldly me said “ Do you regret it ? “ and he said “ Selling drugs , NO , Getting CAUGHT , FUCK YEAH , BICKO ARE YOU STUPID ! “ .
On this side of the pond, same dude escaped to Mexico. Everyone you’d meet off the beaten track had a story, usually untold. Funny how things were so similar at such distance.
aye dude c’mon theres no waves south of abalone cove till you get to seal beach.
True that. Was gonna say south of RAT beach, but thanks for the correction.
I’ve been working through the Surf Splendour podcasts, any names to look for to tell that Oz story? Seems like talking about drugs and the changes/waves they make through outrcommunity is still verboten. Chas book notwithstanding. I suppose it means its all still going on. Listened to D.Hynds talk about the sober surfer club he formed with Parmenter. back in the contests day…seemed kinda weird. I’m probably biased tho.
Kong’s Book does not hold back on the story of drugs in Pro Surfing , from the early 80s onwards . Nat Young , spoke about The Brotherhood from California in his History of Surfing but I don’t know if anybody has written about the same period in Australia .Possibly in a few years when those concerned have shuffled off this mortal coil … ?
surf schools at silver strand? gotta be summertime only, right? but even still, wow.
the nard and north of there used to be the emptiest place in spring/even summer…days and days of lefts. SS was a much harder thing to figure out, I surfed solo, so it was less trouble. Still forewarned of what awaited. Get up early, leave early. Was able to score that military creek down your way. 81 or so. Yowsa. Hard to believe what I was seeing.
Surf Splendor did a podcast on that san pedro business, if its the bay you are mentioning. Worth a listen.
Hippy, I might like you. I probably do not though.
I guess all those old carps forgot to tell you:
Don’t name spots. !
My pot dealer suggested this podcast
So much better than obsessive kook analysis!
https://youtu.be/76_vLr0971M
I rue the day for a visit to the pot dealer Bexy…. yesterday I went to the store, purchased one hybrid sativa/indy named Pineapple and an indica named Grand Daddy Purple. Had to purchase some 5mg mints as well and thought about the missus so I bought a cupcake on the way home, but stopped to check the surf at a notoriously shitty fickle place and forgot that the cupcake was for the wife. End result, 100. spent and I came home with dry hair and straight into a nap at 11:00 AM PST. I could blame the surf, but I chose to blame the contest that I would have to awaken for at midnight…. pre emptive sleep required.
Gummy bears, mints cupcakes
Id be off to the phsych ward in no time
Probly alongside my 3year old.
They shoulda just let people grow it not KFC it
Too late, conservative money found a revenue stream and forgot their fiercely held “morals” again.
i never thought I would freak, but the new strains are just too much, I barely handled some accidental eating. It was weird, almost like alien brains, not just stoned. I now see why people end up in hospital.
ive experienced that with synthetic and i had to literally scream my way back
terrifying!
Question: what has surfing taught you?
That like waves we surf , life , beauty and happiness are ephemeral …
that I hate other people
That I can be embarrassingly competitive well past high school sports
I read this last night and thought it to be relevant to our struggle .
“ We are naive to think that we control a precious commodity. Only through guile and eternal wariness do we keep it out of the hands of our competitors . “
You read Uranium Weekly too?
Oh no , Rex Bex , but I wear Polonium from Ralph Lauren ….
The quote comes from the last book in the Dune Series,Sandworms of Dune , attributed to Ambassadors from the Spacing Guild concerning the spice , Melange , and Soostones from the planet Buzzell .
I like the BLOOD on the knees . The Path to Enlightenment / Disillusion in Surfing is paved with Suffering … ?
That’s a Bick hatrick
Don’t mention the F**kin Cricket ! I might be becoming Jerry Hat-trick …..?
I stopped watching when Warney fuked it off
Slater should cop the tip.
A Genius and the only one wearing the baggy green capable of spinning his way into the beds of the rich and famous ?
And a half decent insta photo!
Jeeezus Todd, how dare you rate falconry ahead of walking with wolves you fkn kook