Come into our tent. Wet and loosen your lips…
Yeah, sorry about Disqus being yanked down around our ankles three nights ago.
One of the networks serving those stupid ads that at least a hundred thousand of you devils are clicking on every month (Married teacher screams as she’s jailed for affair with student, aged 12 etc) , decided to introduce infinite scrolling into its code without a call, a mail, whatever.
It ain’t going to happen today, tonight, in whatever time zone you occupy. Bulletproof-ish.
Today, the newly anointed round of 32, formerly round three and the first time we see a bulk of surfers ejected from the event.
Can you believe there’s been sixteen heats, for a total of eight hours of surfing, and only four competitors have been sent home?
Now we get real.
Sixteen heats for sixteen losers.
I’ve got a cheap wine poured over ice. And plenty to refill.
Men’s Round of 32 Matchups:
Heat 1: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Soli Bailey (AUS)
Heat 2: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Joan Duru (FRA)
Heat 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 4: Ryan Callinan (AUS) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
Heat 5: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Adriano de Souza (BRA)
Heat 6: Jeremy Flores (FRA) vs. Deivid Silva (BRA)
Heat 7: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
Heat 8: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
Heat 9: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Michael February (ZAF)
Heat 10: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) vs. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
Heat 11: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Sebastian Zietz (HAW)
Heat 12: Michel Bourez (FRA) vs. Ricardo Christie (NZL)
Heat 13: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Frederico Morais (PRT)
Heat 14: Seth Moniz (HAW) vs. Peterson Crisanto (BRA)
Heat 15: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Heat 16: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Jack Freestone (AUS)