I feel doubt.
This is the second year in a row that I have fled as far as humanly possible from Huntington Beach’s U.S. Open of Surfing, To Copenhagen, Denmark, to be exact, where I don’t think statutory date rape is a way of life.
Huntington Beach’s U.S. Open of Surfing has always been a filthy cesspool. A Dante’s Inferno of Inland Empire flat brims and assorted who-knows-from-whence VALs writing dirty slogans on their pre-teen daughters’ bodies mixed with creatine laced smoothies and barbwire bicep tattoos.
The worst.
Those filthy bare feet and Mick Fanning bottle opening sandals kicking up a cloud of cancer-inducing silicon from sand imported from Dante’s Inferno’s third circle of hell. The gluttonous one and also drinking Michelob Ultra’s brewed with Organic Grains from Dante’s Inferno’s sixth circle of hell.
Which is heresy.
I hate the U.S. Open of Surfing and so I flee to Denmark and am happy here, happier here than anywhere, but a story from the Orange County Register just popped into my phone declaring US Open of Surfing 2019 is more family-friendly festival than surf-only party and is this true? Can anyone out there verify?
I love all of surf journalist Laylan Connelly’s work but really doubt when she declares:
The Van US Open of Surfing, an event that has transformed through the years from a rowdy party to a family-friendly festival filled with attractions for all ages, brings thousands of beachgoers to the south side of the pier.
Evelyn Kleven, who grew up in Southern California but now lives in Las Vegas, was one of the many beachgoers to cruise around the festival, Monday, checking out skaters hitting a massive vert ramp on the sand before grabbing free hot dogs with her three kids and their two cousins.
“They’ve never experienced this, I really wanted to experience how amazing this is,” she said. “I’ve heard it is more family friendly, and with a family, this is amazing. They are in awe.”
Because Evelyn Kleven now lives in Las Vegas and is checking out skaters hitting a vert ramp before eating free hot dogs with her three kids and their two cousins on cancer-inducing silicon from sand imported from… now I’m thinking Las Vegas.
Or maybe Primm.
Can anyone verify?
Is anyone not in Copenhagen at this moment?
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Now introducing Polo Blue for men…and now introducing Polo Blue Gold Blend.
Oh man, been there for a wild couple of parties on the balcony just across the street complete with stripper pole. In fact it’s the only time I met you Chas – back in 07 or 08, not sure, things were fuzzy then. It was around the time you had JOB’s twitter acct – that was f’n hilarious! Our hotel room one year was right next door to a porn shoot.
The good ol’ Surfline party….yup those days are no longer
Laylan is a truly nice person (I’m sure) but a dyed in the cloth VAL GAL! Let’s ask a grizzled vet like Jen See to give us the scoop.
Why are they making us suffer during the men?? She perfect for girls cast I don’t watch.
Not really sure what a Val Gal is, but been covered the US Open every year for more than a decade, so definitely know first hand the changes in recent years. And yes, happen to also be a truly nice person!
A VAL is an adult learner Laylan. It’s pretty much all tongue in cheek around here, nothing meant to be taken too serious I suppose. You got into surfing as a young adult though, correct?
Brett Simpson has been absolutely killing it in the commentary booth . Relaxed , witty , insightful breaking down the line up and technical aspects of what the surfers are doing on the wave . Leaves Cheerleaders for Team USA , Big Pete M and Chris Coat A , for Dead ?
Agreed, the guy is intelligent and speaks freely with refreshing wit.
Yup, definitely not gonna make it!
I will hunt down Chas, in a week if he is still there. I will be just across the bridge. Scandinavian Noir thriller to follow. What should I do to him?
Make us SCREAM !
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
Hipsters all around me
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
What are you doing in CPH, Chas?
I do miss my old city in N Hemi summer. Lots of tan skin and swims and love.
Hope it’s treating you well.
And boats to drink beers on !
Real hb locals are here Chas: sokfy.com . One of the companies founders has a story worthy past. You should look into it.
Cool video , thanks BS. Huntington 80s sounds like Sydney at the same period . Gritty . I heard Hurley’s story and I love his Rabbit Anecdote at HB . Saw his logo for the first time on the nose of a board ridden by Gary Green 82/83 ? ( blue rails from memory )
Is that skootchs’ name seriously Evelyn Kleven?? i hope she’s never number eleven for anything…
“Chicken fried rice? Number eleven?..Evelyn Kleven?”
It’s lucky she didn’t marry Evel Knievel…Imagine, they are coming down the grand staircase, after the trumpet fanfare “Evel and Evelyn Kleven-Knievel…….news at eleven”
WWUTD?
(what would Unkle Tito do?)
is that poor diet in the photo above?
That’s American for “in shape”
Moobs
Come down and let’s stroll the grounds and you can tell me whatcha think — far from those crazy days from a decade ago with barely teens walking around with spray paint tattoos, free hugs and kisses pleas on bodies, and people chugging entire BBQ bottles for a free hat. Heck, I’d even bring my 6 year old these days to draw with crayons on the coloring pages Vans has printed out. You’ll even walk out smelling like a dad with Polo as one of the sponsors spritzing people on the walkway, bringing an overwhelmingly amazing euro smell to the surf contest. Downtown HB after hours … that’s probably a different story. Always stoked to make an appearance on Beach Grit — glad someone is paying attention!
This inter journalist mutual admiration is thrilling!
Deep, deep in my heart I just don’t want to believe. I loved that nasty era!
Believe it, no more all-night party buses to stumble out of… I miss those days too, so much wildness to write about. Still tons of people — but not nearly as nasty.
Huntington Beach is a great place to learn to street fight, just ask Tank Abbott, I think he claimed over 200 bar brawls in Huntington. The key is, if you’re in a bar and Tank sidles up next to you and starts singing whatever is on the jutebox, terribly, don’t tell him to gtfo, instead smile and sing along with him, apparently he’s a nice guy if you’re simply not interested in fighting.
Guy got right up in my face once, I Exited stage left post haste. I didnt want to be his 201st.
I am a firm believer in Survival of the Fastest ….. Good on you for applying Arithmetic Ricmatic . Better to listen to Body Count then be a number on it .
If there is one constant with the US Open its the crap waves. A lottery ticket for most competitors and the scene of one of surfings most hideous crimes. That celebration will haunt me forever.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Primm is fully cooked nowadays. So is Huntington I guess. Free meat tubes though.
They should just move this thing to Florida and stop pretending to be rednecks in California
Come on now, rednecks abound in CA. All one need do is travel the Golden State Highway between the Grapevine and Sacto to get themselves a super-sized sample of true Americana.
Referencing Dante? Careful, Charlatan, don’t push things too far (Boccaccio is def off limits!), people might think you’re pretentious… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
“The devil is not as black as he is Australian surf.”
WTF has everyone got against Wiggoly and Wesley?
Their paddling and duckdiving styles?
I mean they seem to get places and go under waves right?
Right.
Waving not drowning.
Waiving the fee.
This wave lies madness.
The wave to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Not Drowning Waving
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
They should play this every hour on the hour just to confuse the crowds.
No one who’s not nobody is not in Copenhagen right now.
As far as I’m concerned the whole event is an Australian Surf.