The mysterious Owen Wright, in a thimble-sized tub tube. | Photo: WSL

Comment live: Finals Day, Freshwater Pro Presented by Outerknown feat. Pirate Commentary!

Come join the narrative as the WSL crowns a new king of Lemoore…

If you’re reading this, it’s one am in Australia and the hot coconut oil has cooled on my body and left a pleasing sheen, although I’m four-and-a-half hours from opening my eyes.

You, I imagine, live in America or Europe and the sun is a fantastic citrus in the sky.

The Pirate Stream 🏴‍☠️🌊

Over the course of two days of surfing, we’ve seen, on day one, “MEDINA MAKES REST OF FIELD LOOK HESITANT, INCOMPETENT, DISINTERESTED, ANXIOUS, OVERWHELMED, WEAK!”, the theme obvious, and, yesterday, “A HALF-DANGLING, HALF-SUCKED COCK AT A WEDDING!”, a reference to the “feelings of despair and frustration from the (diminishing) legion of hard-core surf fans who have stuck with the broadcast from the basin.”

Today?

Join the narrative below?

And I’ll see y’all a little later.

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Adrien2035
Adrien2035
7 years ago

that pirate stream was pretty boring I have to say, if you wanted to replace the commentators, well you have to comment what was happening… as boring as it is, you did not have to hype it up like the actual WSL commentators but instead you talked about shark stories and phone calls to who ever it was, that just another of your podcast, I though you would actually comment the action…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Every little bit doesn’t help.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
7 years ago

I’m sure it would be full of all sorts of crap, considering it would most likely have been written by Kelly himself

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
7 years ago

Driving a homo chariot in a pool is hardly a specialist skill
Any Lemoorian meth head could do the job just as well
Back scratching and whatever else that may go on behind closed doors seems to be Kelly’s thing though, so maybe he did hook up with an immigration brother to hook a brotha up..

MaxNeoprene
MaxNeoprene
7 years ago

Important question for DLee Scales: the manscaping shaver….is it ‘taint friendly?

Notadrientoyon
Notadrientoyon
7 years ago

Felt like I was hanging out

Shroom
Shroom
7 years ago

I agree more guests,more booze and a full size cut out of crying Jordy perched on the couch is a must

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

BGs got a stake. Good or bad. We’re the people.

KRIS
KRIS
7 years ago

Amazing performance on both sides of the draw.
But, Rosie (be still my beating heart) has been my highlight of the event.
Resplendent yesterday in a floral blue & white ankle-length gown, headphones and specs. Today: radiant in a salmon & white scalloped pleat (I think that’s what it would be termed?) ankle-length gown.

I’m throwing it out there: is she pregnant?

Dick Simmons
Dick Simmons
7 years ago
Reply to  KRIS

Yep. I mashed that B.

KRIS
KRIS
7 years ago
Reply to  Dick Simmons

… apologies Richardo, I don’t understand your reply. English please mate.

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
7 years ago

Ashton is standing in front of me.

What do I do?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  Shampoo Poo

Seek autograph!

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  Shampoo Poo

A pocket sized reclaimed wood coffee table would be super handy in such circumstance.

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
7 years ago

By open his hearts and open the third eye for the unconscious mind, brazilian surfers had acknowledged and achieve that kind of power!!!
This power can also be achieved by you!
You can also perform airs, reverses, 570, barrel stalls, power hacks, desengage fins, tail slides…
But you have to believe it…
Believe, now!!!

https://youtu.be/rsrwZHcGz8I

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
7 years ago

I wish you guys had set this in stone earlier! Or did I miss the memo?

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

I’m predicting LTs seminal piece today.

MaxNeoprene
MaxNeoprene
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

especially if he lives near this exploding factory: https://www.newsweek.com/fi…

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
7 years ago

Lakey would have been solid mid-pack in the men’s final.

timsluis
timsluis
7 years ago

Barton criticises Fil, says he was below expectations, gets shut down by the other crew and almost apologized. Positive wall of noise.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
7 years ago
Reply to  timsluis

Didn’t he get second?

timsluis
timsluis
7 years ago

He did get a second. But it wasn’t a close second, and Gabby was the only surfer who brought anything. Every other performance was below expectations, worse than last year except JW sticking his spin.
There is a lot of criticism left unsaid. Compare this to the post show of a footy game. Everyone cops a bit of it. Its part of the catharsis.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago

I’m back! Next damned time we’re gonna go a full ten hours with guests coming by in real life and getting boozed. Hemi calling most the action.

bruddah
bruddah
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Great first run, looking forward to the next one!

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

The Pirate Stream was better than I expected. You all under promised and over delivered

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I vote for an all-child commentary team

MaxNeoprene
MaxNeoprene
7 years ago

Huzzah to that. Hemingway. Faulkner and Kafka-Dickens. All 3 of the Smith kids front and center

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
7 years ago
Reply to  MaxNeoprene

Kafka-Dickens was an inspired name choice.

longtom
longtom
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I reckon just put the guests on a tighter leash

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Or a Chas Choke Chain™ with aftermarket Shock Collar

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I missed it all. Asleep.
My sincere apologies.

mundus
mundus
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Reminded me of the Seinfeld show when Kramer tried to recreate the Merv Griffen show.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Please ban the parent of that child (and the child) from coming anywhere near a microphone and camera ever again

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
7 years ago

meanwhile in the South Pacific, JJf has no idea this contest is even happening.

timsluis
timsluis
7 years ago

Who was on the back of the ski with Gabby? Thought he was going to rock a family wave.

84092, 92673
84092, 92673
7 years ago
Reply to  timsluis

Maybe he did, we never saw the right.

timsluis
timsluis
7 years ago
Reply to  84092, 92673

Typical WSL. A bit of human interaction, a bit of fun and they cut to an add break.

longtom
longtom
7 years ago
Reply to  timsluis

little sis?

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
7 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Maybe,
Sofia

Mug Of Sunshine
Mug Of Sunshine
7 years ago

Am I the only one that goes full screen in the interviews in the hope that Rosie might be in the frame?

John Wayne
John Wayne
7 years ago
84092, 92673
84092, 92673
7 years ago
Reply to  John Wayne

Gabriel became world champ the moment JJ’s ACL ruptured in Brazil.

20 mule team
20 mule team
7 years ago
Reply to  John Wayne

Yep, Gabriel’s Beutiful, dead eyed run starts now. I expect pipe to be anti climatic unfortunately.

David
David
7 years ago
Reply to  John Wayne

It would be funny if Gabriel started worse and worse each year but still ended up winning titles. 4 Back to back wins etc


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