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Horrifying: “Man-eating” Great White shark terrorizes innocent children by turning ocean “crimson red!”

"Weeping could be heard from children, curled in the corner begging God to make it stop."

We surfers, we non-canoers, know intimately how vicious those exclusively “man-eating” Great Whites can be but the general pre-VAL population has no idea the horrors that are in store for them. Of course you have been following along with this unprecedented summer, now autumn, of sharks. Of course you have been saddened at how they turned my once sylvan North County, San Diego into a bubbling cauldron of pain. Of course you have been mortified at how they have repopulated New England’s traditionally chill Cape Cod, eating longtime residents while injecting a sickly “looky-loo” impulse into visiting hordes.

Well, those who think Great Whites are a beautiful dancing gift were treated to a harsh truth just yesterday when a whale watching tour was derailed by an obscene feeding frenzy. A completely uncalled for bacchanal that turned the ocean a “crimson red” and in front of weeping children and their horrified mothers and let us turn to the scientific journal International Business Times for the latest:

The whale watchers could be heard screaming as the scene unfolded just a few yards from the deck of the boat. One of the onlookers could be heard crying as the boat continued its journey.

Great white attack terrified tourists as the water suddenly turned crimson.

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Families watching aboard a whale watching tour vessel witnessed the attack as the shark tore a seal apart near Green’s Point Lighthouse in Brunswick, Canada.

Initially, not much could be seen as the majority of the fight took place beneath the surface. The fin came out as the seal began to thrash around trying to get away.

That was the time the water turned a deep red with the blood of the victim. The shark as if excited, accelerated its attack.

One of the women began to fret about the seals they had viewed earlier in the tour. She was worried one of those could be at risk of becoming prey for the shark.

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Another person reassured her they were not the ones to alert the seals considering the attack may well have scared the rest of them away.

Weeping could be heard from children, curled in the corner begging God to make it stop.

I’ve been telling you. I’ve been telling you all along. Any creature as insensitive to the psychological needs of young children as Great White sharks should never be trusted.

Never ever and the hit song “Baby Shark” has officially been rendered troublesome. Put into the exact same category as Billie Jean.

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43 Comments
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Tom

Massive opportunity lost that someone didn’t jump overboard and club the seal to death before the shark could attack – hence reducing shark numbers by reducing seal numbers?? Easy

?uzzled

Here is my snarky comment about Beachgrit’s sharky content.

Waterproof Polo

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Weak ass parentals.. They could have used the mauling to explain nature and whatnot.

Hippy

Only answer Alec….

J H

Anyone know where John John is headed on the sailboat?

Is he going to be…GASP!…the next Eddie Aikau?

?uzzled

John John would go go.

J H

I just hope that John John isn’t Gone Gone.

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com

There was an ulua tournament on the whole side of my island since 4pm Friday. Old fat fisherman were literally pouring buckets of blood into the ocean to attract fishes. All of the somehow invisible 4 to 6 foot whitetip reef sharks are super happy to dart in and out of crowded chummed lineups. The sudden lack of 30 yuppies backpaddling made me really appreciate these apex predators chasing out the real ones. “I work remotely for Uber.” Why would you tell someone that? Gosh……

Chief Hot stuff

BREAKING…
Sea Eagle mauls shark.

John Wayne

And then the long thin bony fish killed a horse. What a weekend.

lives in hope

Spare a thought for my bronco mauled by an eel

John Wayne

Just watch the cricket – you will feel better. Mr Broad is treating Warner like the Eels treated you today

lives in hope

Finally!

Phat-wan kerr

tom and Eddie are going to be happy.

Brutus

yep!

Brutus

fuck yeah , kill them all …..the photos actually looks like a woman menstruating and remembering Lairds warning …ahhhhhhh…..fuck mother nature and her cruel disposition…….#mothernaturecruelbloodybitch

Hippy

David Gilmore Pink Floyd or Roger Waters Pink Floyd?

Hippy

it matters, btw

Hippy

I love hearing them tell me about the dolphins swimming with the ship. As if they are the first to have seen dolphins and they’re cluing you in.

No one would miss the whale watchers.

Nick Carroll

But did God make it stop? No. God just let it go on unabated. Whose side is God on anyway.

Hippy

She is angry and inconsolable about all things “surf”….

Huli Opu
Shampoo Poo

God is on Gods’ side.

Nick Carroll

Well that’s comforting.

Shampoo Poo

Warms the heart.

Brutus

but for those who know there is no God , well fuck motherfuckernature!!!

Nick Carroll

Well exactly! Like why would God stop a shark from going about its business, just to spare the feelings of some kids on a boat?

Phat-wan kerr

just reminding the kiddies that he can still taketh away.

Chief Hot stuff

Hes got a soft spot for nature.

Phat-wan kerr

pretty sure god created seals to provide humans with fur skin waist coats, slippers and blubber for burning. now that the lord has gifted us with bogan silk and electricity he sees no point in protecting seals from the nasty fish.

ricmatic

Hey man. It’s the shark’s habitat. That seal had no business surfing there.

Gino

I haven’t seen the movie in 30 years…but didn’t she just go out for a leisurely swim?
And she ended up next to a fucking buoy????

channelbottom

Is than an aquatic mating navigational aid?

Gino

Not sure, but it looks like it hurts.

Gino

I’m dumb, but I always thought buoys were in pretty deep water.

@surfads

Did you know the correct name is just White shark? The ‘great’ was added on as a weak intensifier somewhere along the way.

You can do it for other animals too. Totally Brown bear. Very electric eel etc.

Otto

Humble Bumblebee

That wasn’t really intensifying. Sorry bee.

Hippy

Ugly fucking Rattlesnake.

@surfads

Chief Content Executive

Hippy

billie jean…. lol.

Well, this should get Mrs Outraged Shark Activist from Rhode Island fired up for about 50 comments.

lives in hope

So long as Chas’ plan to disuade vals from taking up surfing due to the high risk of fatal shark attacks works, Im happy to deal with outraged online shark activists

Hippy

When you accept god into your hearts, she will fill you with boundless optimism.

Chas Smith

Surfing, like vaping, is simply too dangerous to try.


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