How can a nearly fifty-year old be the best guy in the water in a three-foot beachbreak?
Gabe Medina kind of ruined the opening day of the Quik Pro France; not personally, but by how he made the rest of the field look.
I know it’s sport, and it’s surfing and anything can happen but each appearance now has an air of inevitability about it which makes his peers look lifeless. Gabe rode sixteen waves in heat six. There were multiple airs, club sandwiches, sharp vertical punches, glide-ins, kick-outs and tube-rides.
Enough surfing, in short, for the whole day.
There were some good heats in surf that changed from flabby on the high, rippy and weird on the dropping and finally, as rippable as it gets on the premium part of the tide. Leo Fioravanti was back after the dislocated shoulder at the Box, which feels like yesterday but which is five contests and a surgery ago now. Leo went from last to first, Andino from first to last and Yago Dora stayed happy in the middle. Less than a point separated them at the end. It could have gone any way.
Filipe looked snappy and stylish, which means his back is not right. He hit the sand with ten minutes to go , nursing a slim but significant lead over Duru and Lacomare and held it when the buzzer went.
I had a bad back too, from digging a grave and burying my goat, who passed into goat heaven this morning. Turns out the stories about the indestructibility of goats are urban legend. This one, despite being a rescued feral goat who left goat hoof dings on my surfboards, destroyed gardens and loved to dance on cars, was felled in a single day by… something. A paralysis tick, a toxic substance.
We’ll never know. A faint bleat this morning, a last rallying against the forces of death and then he left us. Cold and stiff and in the ground. Which made us all very sad.
I felt slightly better, as I always do, looking down the heat draw and seeing K.Slater written there. A goat who is indestructible. He surfed his best small wave heat since Trestles 2012, when a twelfth world title seemed pre-ordained.
Riding the same Dan Mann FRK he rode in the tub, in early afternoon sunshine, 70 degree air, 70 degree water as Bruce Brown would say, he was scintillating. The heavy track off the bottom was as raw as Dane Kealoha, the combinations off the top progressive, or powerful, or both. Sometimes just a huge straight lip stab – a surfer’s turn as Strider called it.
Leo was in the booth, Slater had kept the family up practising putting at 2.30 in the morning. I’m sure Kelly won’t feel disrespected if we request that the B urine sample is carefully tested. He looked insane, but we’ve seen Kelly blow up and then fizzle out early this year so no big calls.
How can a nearly fifty-year old be the best guy in the water in a three-foot beachbreak?
Not many other surprises. Owen looked very precise, Jules got through. Italo had a few moments of brilliance. The biggest innovation, tied I think to the Fox broadcast, was the first all-female commentary booth I’ve ever seen in pro surfing. Maybe the first in history. Shannon Hughes, the gal doing the beach pressers, and who had made zero impression on me, and Rosie Hodge. Turned out Shannon did good in the booth, I thought much superior to the beach pressers. Rosie sounded a little like she’d been media coached by Pottz, with her insistence on “points of difference” etc etc but Shannon correctly identified the absurdity when Deivid Silva, needing a 6.01 was awarded a 6.00. “What do you even do, walking away from that?” she asked incredulously.
The energy in the booth was raised considerably as the two-some became a threesome with the addition of Wasilewski. The surf was deteriorating, lot of rails bogged and bad body language from Flores and even Bourez, the best epoxy surfboard rider on Earth, according to Strider was poking noses. Jack Freestone always looked in control of the heat, a D-bah onshore analogue in which he flew above lips. Why not more, Jack, wondered Shannon, voicing a question we’d all been long asking about Freestone. One of the best aerial attacks in the game and barely uses it.
Medina dominant, yes. And a strange back to the future moment in French sunshine where Kelly was once again the star attraction; a banquet at which all hearts opened and all wines flowed.
Quiksilver Pro France Elimination Round (Round 2) Matchups:
HEAT 1: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Jadson Andre (BRA) vs. Marco Mignot (FRA)
HEAT 2: Michel Bourez (FRA) vs. Sebastian Zietz (HAW) vs. Marc Lacomare (FRA)
HEAT 3: Deivid Silva (BRA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA) vs. Soli Bailey (AUS)
HEAT 4: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Ricardo Christie (NZL)
Quiksilver Pro France Seeding Round (Round 1) Results:
HEAT 1: Griffin Colapinto (USA) 12.50 DEF. Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 11.90, Soli Bailey (AUS) 8.07
HEAT 2: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 11.94 DEF. Frederico Morais (PRT) 10.10, Caio Ibelli (BRA) 9.60
HEAT 3: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) 14.40 DEF. Yago Dora (BRA) 14.33, Kolohe Andino (USA) 14.00
HEAT 4: Jorgann Couzinet (FRA) 12.67 DEF. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 12.66, Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 9.26
HEAT 5: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 12.63 DEF. Joan Duru (FRA) 10.60, Marc Lacomare (FRA) 9.74
HEAT 6: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 14.40 DEF. Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 11.87, Marco Mignot (FRA) 11.04
HEAT 7: Owen Wright (AUS) 15.10 DEF. Willian Cardoso (BRA) 13.34, Ricardo Christie (NZL) 7.94
HEAT 8: Julian Wilson (AUS) 11.44 DEF. Adrian Buchan (AUS) 9.57, Jadson Andre (BRA) 9.47
HEAT 9: Kelly Slater (USA) 13.84 DEF. Jesse Mendes (BRA) 11.67, Conner Coffin (USA) 9.94
HEAT 10: Seth Moniz (HAW) 12.24 DEF. Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 10.50, Wade Carmichael (AUS) 10.13
HEAT 11: Peterson Crisanto (BRA) 13.84 DEF. Ryan Callinan (AUS) 11.67, Deivid Silva (BRA) 11.67
HEAT 12: Jack Freestone (AUS) 11.77 DEF. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 9.10, Michel Bourez (FRA) 8.90
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Never underestimate the GOAT, a 47 YO bald guy. A hero to so many of us.
Bummer about your goat Longtom
I love these contest reviews – I can read them first, then go back through the WSL app and watch the heats that LT recommends or says are interesting in some way. Thank you.
Damn, Slater appears to be better somehow. Way less stiff and aged looking. Amazing. How?
stem cell shakes + no alcohol + deer antler spray + sociopathy = raging shred turns
you heard that from coach miyagi (?)
Griffin should have shit in the pool
Last week
Hopefully he has the asspiration to do so next year, unless they decide to not drop the kids in the pool that is.
As a former Barman I suddenly had the urge to pour a J.D. and Coke ?
when they made you a eunuch, did they allow you to keep you balls in a jar to put on your shelf?
the tub is just purely comical, the Basin is still comical but has pretensions to be taken seriously.
Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub,
And who do you think they be?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker,
And all of them out to sea.
i halfheartedly tried to get bump bath going, to little avail. i recently saw the first person who’s not me call Mr. Smith, Chester. i’m pretty happy with that.
also, sorry about your goat LT
I’m always surprised by how much these recaps and other posts on BG focus on the commentary rather than the actual surfing. I’be been watching and reading a lot about rugby lately with the world cup on. Nobody gives a fuck about the commentators, it’s what happens on the field that is discussed and debated in the media and in comments. It’s peculiar to surfing how much the commentary is discussed.
good point, I think it’s because there is always such a dissonance between the commentary and the action that it provides a convenient point of departure to begin the discussions.
and heats where 2 6’s are the highlights don’t offer much in the way of action to talk about.
Especially when no is going to get eliminated for days.
It goes for ten hours mate.
Yes but each heat is like watching a new game or you can compare to test cricket for length of event.
Just seems odd how many lines of text are dedicated to the commentary team.
I’m over it, I’m more interested in the actual surfing rather than dissecting the capability and compatibility of commentators.
Yeah there’s Lottsa good surf sites
It’s an acquired taste round here.
See ya.
There’s definitely not lots of good surf sites. I’ve been here since day one, don’t comment often.
From burying a goat (much comis) to the goat burying a few rails, you should just go and storm the booth to give us some verbal insights as well as written
Did we all miss Griffin’s pre heat floater?
How did that not get written about? I remember Mason Ho saying he used to do that on purpose to mess with the other surfers heads in his heats.
Hi North,what type of weapon was Mason Ho Chi Minh utilizing ?
After 45 years of extensive research I have narrowed it down to two main types of Aqua Bog ;
a) The perfectly formed submarine that emerges and follows one around the lineup for hours
b) The ICloud . A brown cloud of shit which leaves a brown expanding ring around the perpetrator.
Which is more likely to mess with other surfers heads ? Brown October or Ring of Brown Water ?
I think all of those would probably be effective. If he combined that with maybe using your Bic lighter manscaping technique in the “wellness area” of the surfers warmup tent he could probably be on tour by now.
Hey Ho , let’s go! Hey Ho , let’s go!
Mase Ho , let’s go! Mase Ho , let’s go!
Take it away Ramones https://youtu.be/TYh1lRR1m6Y
i paddled in to a stinking ring of water
the stink got worse and the waves got higher
and it’s brown brown brown
the stinking water, the stinking water
Cash !
the man in brown
Colapinto , café , caca 💩 ! The Aqua Bog / Turd will now be known as The San Clemente Slide ? Or A ColaShinto , now that surfing is on the road to Tokyo . The French diet , rich in oils , herbs and butter combined with beachbreaks , beer and strong French Coffee will definitely liven up the digestive system and make even a Goofy become regular …. ?
colplements to the chef
Felipe is such a pussy that the sight of Gabes gives him back spasms.
They all got goated
Except for the champ
Hats off.
The Champ held back , showing glimpses of what he might do later on , while Mr Slater surfed his heart out in round 1 ? Gab can obviously step it up , but can Mr Slater expand on this stellar performance ?
Probably, hes a freak.
I don’t know if anybody watched the Post Show, it was…odd! Kaipo, Strides & Rosie – there were spots where there was dead air, they actually seemed to run out of things to say! Where’s Joe when you need him!
Sorry to hear about the loss of your goat Longtom
Just tried to watch the Post Show. Kaipo as anchorman is comically bad – like a short-circuiting android.
Sorry Mike didn’t see your post!
haha no worries. In fairness Kaipo, Rosy and Strider were probably a bit fried after a long day in the French sun…but I feel like more insight would have been provided by a couple of random surf fans and a dog, rounded up from the beach.
Very true – Kaipo seemed mildly confused!
quote right there
I truly can’t understand how you can devote so much time to watching these contests. Bravo, I guess?
thats what I get paid for.
people do far worse things for money. People dug graves in Stalingrad in frozen earth, for eg.
the time zone is gnarly, is all.
sleep deprivation, a dead comrade. there are some parallels if you want to find them.
Medina is King Tubby?
Did I hear someone say King Tubby ?
i read on the surfer recap the GOAT was jet lagged, fighting a cold and has sciatica pain, as well as surfed on a buckled board. why does he have to do this interview after interview?
Look here see, any yahoo can win a heat, but only Jimmy Slade can win a heat on a buckled board while simultaneously fighting a cold and sciatica pain.
and composing stories …