Hell is on the move.
Oh and you thought it was over. I thought it was over too, quite frankly, but the current Great White shark apocalypse appears to just be getting underway. Terror everywhere. Terror in my once agrestic North County, San Diego. Terror in Cape Cod. Terror in Florida, New Zealand, Antartica and for the first time in recorded history terror in Rhode Island.
Did you even know that Rhode Island was part of the United States of America? Were you even aware of its existence?
You should have been.
Sid “The Package” Abruzzi hails from Rhode Island and founded the world’s most core surf shop/brand Water Brothers there so many years ago and if you unaware of Sid then shame on you. He looks and talks exactly like Robert DeNiro yet surfs.
But now he has to worry about Great Whites. Man-eating Great Whites but don’t take my alarmist word for it. Let us turn to Rhode Island’s NBC affiliate 10 at 10 for more.
The Atlantic Shark Institute confirmed the first detection of great white sharks in Rhode Island waters on Tuesday.
The institute used acoustic receivers to record pings from two sharks that swam in Ocean State waters in July.
An 11-foot male shark was confirmed to have swum near the Block Island Wind Farm this July, according to the Atlantic Shark Institute. A second 12-foot female shark visited the Southwest Ledge off Block Island the institute reported.
The sharks had been tagged in the water off Cape Cod said the release.
The institute says they employ about a dozen receivers that could pick up the shark’s coded pings from several thousand feet away.
The Atlantic Shark Institute teamed up with the RI Department of Environmental Management to use this method of recording.
“This is the first confirmation of white sharks in RI using this technology and we couldn’t be happier,” said Jon Dodd, the Chairman of the Atlantic Shark Institute. “We expect that this will be the first of many critical shark findings in the partnership between the Atlantic Shark Institute and the DEM.”
Are you kidding me, Jon Dodd? You Could’t be happier?
Well hell hath come to your doorstep and seeing that Rhode Island’s entire population numbers 59 souls, hell can eat the entire male* portion. The entire male portion save Sid Abruzzi who eats Great Whites for breakfast after he gets done terrorizing Juliette Lewis and Nick Nolte.
Re. Juliette Lewis, very quickly, I once knew a man who was married to her. They got divorced without any children but I don’t think it was contentious and that’s all I have to say about that.
But where will “man-eating” Great Whites turn up next? Which unsullied burgh will they pollute?
More as the story develops.
*Male population only because it has been scientifically proven that “man-eating” Great Whites hate the taste of women.
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Laughing Gas is a Gas Gas Gas …. and Cloud 9 ? in 1796 the Askesian Society was formed as a debating club for scientific thinkers in London .They often held theatres for “laughing gas evenings”, where members would watch as fellows would sup nitrous oxide and stumble around the stage.
Members had to present a paper or pay a fine, which led to Luke Howard’s 1802 presentation On The Modification of Clouds, which established the still used terms “stratus,” “cumulus,” and “cirrus.”
Sadly none of these intellectual giants could see at the time its possible use as an anesthetic …..
just wondering if those sharks were mumbling , ” hey Bru ” the sharks from South Africa are just having a vacation ……solves the Cape town mystery of where are all the whites???
sick of people staring and filming them in dive cages….Rhode island sounds nice this time of the year…..
All the advice I have read is to not turn your back on a white shark and meet it face to face. Not sure about that anymore.
Sid Abruzzi doesn’t fear sharks, sharks fear Sid Abruzzi.
Sid Abruzzi taught Bruce Lee how to scrap.
When Sid Abruzzi went away to college he told his dad, “You’re the man of the house now.”
The New England Patriots call Sid Abruzzi to coordinate their Super Bowl celebrations.
That picture isn’t even of a great white. It’s a bull shark. It’s also photo shopped. Bulls don’t jump out of the water like that. I get the satire but at least get the correct shark.
Meh
It’s a White Shark. You can clearly tell by the white markings under its beak.
True true…and here I thought the backdrop was the dead giveaway.
the shark is legit but I do question if it is a “man eater”. I am not very familiar with Rhode Islanders but where I am from, if you carry a bag like that you are
(A) not a man, or (B) a fucken hard man that is not going to let a little fish show you up.
I park in front of Farnhams old place. I saw 2 vans as I was arriving.
When I was leaving I was checking to see what a mess they made and got talking to a diver who told me they work in teams on jet skis.
This article, while taking a stab a being satirical isn’t. It’s just dull & silly whining as is typical of people living along the east coast who discover the fact that great white sharks once again inhabit that coastline in the summer & more abundantly in the fall.
It’s their home!
This is an absurd article & just plain stupid.
Are you new here?
Shhhh….don’t spook them.
No U.
You see, you just have to speak to them in condescending tones they can understand.
Ya missed out Nusa Penida, where a chubby 15footer had it’s photo taken by divers (at 60feet) a couple of weeks ago…
Home of the Griffin’s too yeah? Quahog is Rhode Island I believe. Sounds like a nice enough place.. until it becomes over run with the whites, driving down property prices for those newly minted Richie (and Rachie) rich’s.
quahog means clam in the native american langauge of the region
He (“The Package”) was in the Surfers Journal a few years ago. There was a pic of all these old twinnies and singlefins laid out on the grounds of a country club being passed over by country club type people as part of the story. Looked so weird.
Is that “The Package” in the maw of the Great White? Did he eat it for breakfast after this photo was taken? I’m hoping it’s a woman so I can be sure she was released from its evil jaws of death before being eaten, digested and shat into the ocean which would have been the fate of any male (other than “The Package” it seems) who found himself in such a dire predicament.
“it has been scientifically proven that “man-eating” Great Whites hate the taste of women.”
According to noted ichthyologist Lance Burkhart, “The biggest most common reason to be bit is a women with her period”. Looks like the science is as unsettled as climate change.
Nothing unsettled about climate change. The problem is it’s too difficult to deal with. Which is unsettling.
Partly cloudy tomoro.
Is that good or bad?
That is the weather. Some people like cloudy some like sunny.
I’m anxious that I’m not anxious enough,
What should I do?
I’m not sure if your a guy or a girl. I think you’re hot but than I feel weird. Why is that?
Edit: I’m new here
Let’s get weird!
Yeah … that doesn’t make me feel any more comfortable!
You can upvote me but no more! Not unless I’m well pissed first!
You seem fine, don’t worry.
Are you not referencing the other great white scientist Laird?
Laird and Lance are twins, but you never see both at the same time, it’s weird.
FUCK!
I’ve just figured it out!
BG is just a negative -shill machine for Big Shark!
You know because just like Trump and Musk’s strategy of: ‘keep the public yakking; keep me snacking’.
Any publicity for the World Shark League is good publicity.
Derek and Chas are just duplicitous con-artists buttering us up for the profit of underground( water) cabal of Carcharodon bankers. Pulling the various strings of surf power since 1976.
I bet quint’s in on it.
Wait, I thought you hated President Trump?
Is Juliette Lewis partially responsible for Huey Lewis and The News?
No but she was in a heat with DeNiro in CAPE FEAR ….. ?
vegence is mine
Don’t make me do it Chas … … … too late
Excellent. Back to normal programming after the history lessons from Benny. I’m generally anti cull but there probably should be a whacking day, one day a year, if these cunts keep multiplying and invading once safe waters. Where is Rhode Island? I can’t be fucked Google map’n it.
Rhode Island accent.
The absolute worst.
it is the only known birthing ground for great whites in the world and its news worthy that a shark was detected? look at a map and see where block island is
You Seppos would happily buy Ribena if I put it in a $35 bottle. No fucken clue. Don’t even get me started on what you do to beer. It’s a fucken disgrace. Blue Moon is arse juice.
Lived with a guy who just moved to OZ from South Africa.
No lie, I came home one day and he was drinking cordial straight.
Had no idea.
Green Red or Orange ….Do Cottees and GI Cordial still exist ?
Was at least 15 years ago.
Pretty sure it was red.
He mentioned to me that he thought it tasted sweet.
John Saffron had a band called Raspberry Cordial years ago. There’s a band called Lime Cordial around atm…blatant ripoff.
Yeah ‘cept they’ve gone with the Cordiale spin…similar vein to Tar-shay (Target) and Co-tay (our man Cote) etc
Ripoff all the same.
Ahh..I see. I’m not to into it. I listen to PBS in the am, probably heard it there.
Pretty sure I see them. Too easy to get sugar free stuff now.
I spent 5 years with a Dentist’s daughter in Sydney and He loved Ribena because it rotted kids teeth and made him even richer than he already was .
I’m beginning to think your taste in women is based on financial considerations.
I had no idea when I met her and ended up with 2 doctors’ daughters in France as well but it was definitely not for the money …… because I am definitely not addicted to CASH !
I think I have mentioned the story of working with a gorgeous blonde woman who was by all accounts a little keen on me. (A mutual friend was doing the messaging). I turned her down because I was totally into a girl, who of course broke my heart. About a month after I had the ‘talk’ with her, her father, a well-heeled Sydney QC died, and left her with houses and investments of about $6 million. She quit work and I never saw her again.
Her loss , your gain !
I think she was ok with it all. I mean, I’m not sure she was the kind of lass who could cope with surf trips to Indo. But it is one of those sliding doors moments that pops back in to my head.