Not everyone as gifted as Joe Turpel.
So there I was having just run a quick lunch errand, nibbling on a piece of bbq chicken pizza, drinking a cold pinot gris and scouting the news when I stumbled across a Sports Illustrated headline declaring that National Football League broadcaster Anthony “Booger” McFarland had a “rough night in the booth” yesterday and that the ensuing extreme fan outcry was completely deserved because his offense was “very egregious.’
“Oooooh….” I thought between sips, visions of Miki Dora dancing in my head, “……racist. An NFL broadcaster uttered something racist or maybe sexist.” And I licked the bbq sauce off my lips ready for extreme moral outrage.
The story did not disappoint. Fans were apoplectic, furious, filled with rage and delivering violent, toxic barbs in comment boards, through Twitter, in text to each other but there was nothing racist, sexist, ageist or even handicappist at all.
It was worse.
Booger McFarland attempted to erect the World Surf League’s Wall of Positive Noise and let’s go straight to the source for more.
It’s usually not fair to pick out one thing a broadcaster says during a three-hour plus game and criticize him for it, unless it’s very egregious.
Booger McFarland got egregious last night. For some reason, McFarland thought it was a good time to heap praise on the Bengals were they were getting blown out by the Steelers in a loss that would move them to 0-4.
The Monday Night Football analyst had nothing but positive thoughts about Cincinnati head coach, Zac Taylor. McFarland also kept comparing the Bengals to the Rams since Taylor was their quarterbacks coach last season.
While sports fans can be overly critical of broadcasters, it really doesn’t sit well with them when you’re spin is just bizarre and non-sensical. Naturally, Twitter noticed and had a lot to say about McFarland.
On and on it went showcasing those lots of things to say and it was harsh.
Every other sport outlet picked the story up too and now dump trucks filled with rage are being backed up and emptied on Booger McFarland.
Imagine if these fans, the same that ex-WSL CEO Herr Paul Speaker and current WSL CEO Obergruppenführer Sophie Goldschmidt are hoping to bring into professional surfing, listened to Joe Turpel while watching Willian Cardoso? Imagine if they knew the singular glories of the ’89 World Champ Martin Potter.
And does it frustrate you that professional surf fans are more compliant, more listless, less discerning than American football fans?
It does me.
Also, I know that we are technically in a ceasefire with the World Surf League but…
…Derek is an Israeli at heart and I’m a li’l Arab.
Ceasefires are metaphorical.