And a notably sadistic edge in the roughing up that La Graviere delivered to the queen of surfing, Stephanie Gilmore…
Truncated day in France as competitors battled rambunctious close-out toobs generated by ex-hurricane Lorenzo in conditions described by longboard babe Kelia Moniz as a “giant toilet bowl”.
First, a quick apology for the low energy recap on day one. I know it was dog caca.
People are tired. Sick. It’s as if Medina is absorbing the energy of his opponents, demoralising them. Gabe is ascendant, romping around in his full power in his happiest hunting ground and looking in the rear view mirror he sees, what? A crippled Toledo, JJF sailing the South Pac, Jordy and Kolohe; both brittle.
I didn’t get my finger on the emotional tone for the day, which I only recognised later in my own pedestrian writings. The dominant mood was resignation. People are tired. Sick. It’s as if Medina is absorbing the energy of his opponents, demoralising them. Gabe is ascendant, romping around in his full power in his happiest hunting ground and looking in the rear view mirror he sees, what? A crippled Toledo, JJF sailing the South Pac, Jordy and Kolohe; both brittle.
Kelly with a cold, buckled board, sleep deprivation and sciatica, out of the Title race, freed up and surfing like a teenager. Making some kind of larger statement about his relevance to some fuzzy concept which will come into focus soon. Next year’s tour, the Olympics, a stinging rebuttal to his critics post-wavepool. His actions will speak louder than any words.
For now, past and future cease to exist for Kelly, the Goat is in the moment.
Sure, there is plenty of energy and movement in the back end, as Colapinto so ably demonstrated on day one when he dropped the “kids of at the pool” in the tornadoed Atlantic. Absent a Medina choke the story of Europe will be a smokey from the back end storming the beaches of the Olde World in search of liberation from relegation.
Why not Soli Bailey?
I recused myself from commenting on the rookie this year because I’m pals with Papa but it hasn’t been a good year. He had Toledo on the ropes at D-bah and when he failed to put him away that lost opportunity seemed to set in train a series of unfortunate events. More than anything he has surfed “short”, the turns pulled and judges hate that. Here in France, and later on Portugal and Pipe, that won’t matter. If he can decipher hieroglyphic lineups that would confound work-a-day surfers he’ll make it through.
Which he did today. One magnificent make on a throaty cave reminds us Bailey is a Pipeline winner. He has a long way to go and even an Asing-style French miracle might not be enough to get him onto next year’s CT.
I find close-out toobs confounding. So do you. So did the twelve male and six female surfers in the CT elimination heats today. Kolohe was entertaining. We are constantly being assured that he wants this (world) Title more than anyone but I don’t see the execution of a world champ, not yet. That haunting Teahupoo loss, where the Tahitian wildcard paddled past him and he sat mute with a confused and yet arrogant grin, still seems to stalk him.
Still, he was able to obtain no-fault eviction from collapsing french teepees, while French wildcard Marco Mignot could not and a hapless Jaddy Andre had to be assisted from the water after another pole-axeing in heavy water to add to the collection.
The sense of being freed up and somehow liberated extended to the booth. Strider was loose, extolling the pleasures of the flesh, American* libertines have always been drawn to the more relaxed attitudes of the French. Mel and Kaipo giggled nervously.
It was fun, compared to the scripted debacle of Tahiti, almost a revelation.
Judges were forced to give numbers to close-outs. A mid-threefor a non-make was a crucial score. Seabass ended up, agonizingly, heartbreakingly on the wrong side of a couple crucial non-makes while his babe looked on, crestfallen. Lacomare made the first proper tube-ride, a deep but scrappy left. His 9.10 was shared in the last heat by Conner Coffin, who overcame a comical start to post an equal score. His wave, which followed a broken board paddling out and some proper doughnuts from trying to smash close-outs, was the best of the day. He side-slipped down the face backside, with the fins somehow magically re-engaging behind a steely french curtain, emerging with the spit and a crotch-grabbing claim.
A Miley Cyrus claim?
All and sundry in the surfing world played merry hell poking fun at Kelly’s pool but I’d bet my left nut the women sent out in elimination heats today would have gone back there in a second if they had the chance. I favour kindness myself, but there was a notable sadistic edge in the roughing up that La Graviere delivered to the queen of surfing, Stephanie Gilmore.
She seemed to spend equal amounts of time in her heat on the beach, waiting for a lull, or getting ragdolled onto dry sand emerging with a resentful, sometimes quizzical expression on her face.
In the end, coach Jake Patterson chewed his lips dry and Gilmore was gone.
I wanted to watch the Red Bull air comp. I really did. The promos were cool and Vaughn Deadly was very high energy. Fifteen minutes in and no one had a good make. Next minute, Matt Meola and me were pulling bongs and he was teaching me how to rig livebaits to pitch to teased up marlin in the bluewater off Maui.
When I came to, my head was squished on the desk and white noise was coming through the screen.
It was over. Ian Crane won.
https://twitter.com/wsl/status/1180533515890434048
Quiksilver Pro France Elimination Round (Round 2) Results:
HEAT 1: Kolohe Andino (USA) 9.66 DEF. Marco Mignot (FRA) 6.06, Jadson Andre (BRA) 2.46
HEAT 2: Marc Lacomare (FRA) 11.20 DEF. Michel Bourez (FRA) 7.94, Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 6.07
HEAT 3: Soli Bailey (AUS) 11.07 DEF. Caio Ibelli (BRA) 8.43, Deivid Silva (BRA) 4.30
HEAT 4: Conner Coffin (USA) 14.27 DEF. Wade Carmichael (AUS) 8.80, Ricardo Christie (NZL) 6.33
Quiksilver Pro France Round of 32 (Round 3) Match-Ups:
HEAT 1: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Frederico Morais (PRT)
HEAT 2: Jeremy Flores (FRA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
HEAT 3: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
HEAT 4: Ryan Callinan (AUS) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
HEAT 5: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Marc Lacomare (FRA)
HEAT 6: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
HEAT 7: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Jorgann Couzinet (FRA)
HEAT 8: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Jack Freestone (AUS)
HEAT 9: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Marco Mignot (FRA)
HEAT 10: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
HEAT 11: Seth Moniz (HAW) vs. Peterson Crisanto (BRA)
HEAT 12: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA)
HEAT 13: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Soli Bailey (AUS)
HEAT 14: Griffin Colapinto (USA) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
HEAT 15: Michel Bourez (FRA) vs. Joan Duru (FRA)
HEAT 16: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)
Roxy Pro France Elimination Round (Round 2) Results:
HEAT 1: Nikki Van Dijk (AUS) 8.60 DEF. Paige Hareb (NZL) 8.37, Stephanie Gilmore (AUS) 6.97
HEAT 2: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) 10.94 DEF. Silvana Lima (BRA) 7.63, Bronte Macaulay (AUS) 7.53
Roxy Pro France Round of 16 (Round 3) Match-Ups:
HEAT 1: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Silvana Lima (BRA)
HEAT 2: Malia Manuel (HAW) vs. Macy Callaghan (AUS)
HEAT 3: Carissa Moore (HAW) vs. Coco Ho (HAW)
HEAT 4: Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) vs. Keely Andrew (AUS)
HEAT 5: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) vs. Paige Hareb (NZL)
HEAT 6: Johanne Defay (FRA) vs. Brisa Hennessy (CRI)
HEAT 7: Caroline Marks (USA) vs. Nikki Van Dijk (AUS)
HEAT 8: Courtney Conlogue (USA) vs. Vahine Fierro (FRA)
Red Bull Airborne France Final Results:
1 – Ian Crane (USA) 5.83
2 – Nomme Mignot (FRA) 4.50
3 – Reef Heazlewood (AUS) 3.93
4 – Griffin Colapinto (USA) 3.77
5 – Maxime Huscenot (FRA) 3.73
6 – Finn McGill (HAW)
Ha!
got no need for sympathy.
worst part is that you think that you are funny
Jordy brittle… Lol
indeed Strider was loose, or more likely lost into a prism of nationalism when so openly rooting for Seabass against Marc and Michel! That was embarrassing. And fuck that 9.10 from Marc was a 10. But now maybe that’s me being nationalist….
I thought Coffins wave was better than Lacomare.
you believe Fox new is real?
Did I miss something is Strider and Gabe Medina dating? Strider speaks so passionately about Gabe. Even when he is not in the current heat he’s calling.
You watch rachel maddow?
Yep GBoat . Looking at the makeup of the final , 5 talented QS Warriors plus Colashinto and not a free surfer in sight .
The top 10 CT surfers do more and are more likely to make more airs in their heats than the Air show surfers, that’s why they need stories for the these guys to make it interesting. With the CT surfers its not so important as wee already know they are machines.
I just arrived, apparently too much swell and bad winds have been the flavour of the season. Oh and my boards are stuck in Paris.
Give them a gentle tug
That was reasonably funny.
So boring.
The ‘air show’ isn’t a very good show. Very few makes. Very boring. The make rate is no better than in the late 90’s air shows. Also, it’s become axiomatic that one of the announcers will mention how airs are progressing so fast it’s hard to keep up. Really? I see nothing new being done from what was done 10 or more years ago. Alley oops, air reverses, full rotations, rodeos….all done in the distant past with the same make rate as what we see now (granted today’s action was effected by especially punishing beach break that made ride outs difficult).
lol…. very funny… Next minute, Matt Meola and me were pulling bongs and he was teaching me how to rig livebaits to pitch to teased up marlin in the bluewater off Maui. When I came to, my head was squished on the desk and white noise was coming through the screen.
true3 story I didn’t make that up
what’s the follow up on the asterisk? *
sorry.
*Australians too.
LT, would you have surfed that bank today? I didn’t see it.
Always surprised when someone says they’re traveling to beach break.
Hi Hippy . There are a few advantages to traveling to beachbreaks . They are likely to be more consistent, less crowded and work on a variety of conditions , so one can surf for months on end in a variety of different types of waves,especially in France , with the major tidal differences, low tide right , high tide left often at the same spot on the beach and then drive a few hours to protected corners when it is like today . Pretty sure there were good conditions further South along the Basque Coast on a day like yesterday?
“giant toilet bowl”?! Sounds like a JOB for Poopies.
If it wasn’t for close-out beach break barrels, I would have little barrel time to reminisce about. I feel no pity for the pros wrestling with unruly conditions, let them feel the pain, the plight and the ponderings of the common man. Connor Coffin may find a sympathizing nook on my shoulder to gently shed his tears of frustration at getting beat’n and broken boarded back to the beach, but not until he gets a heaping plateful of bitter like Baja Malibu delivered upon me in the mid-90’s. 50 minutes. 2 broken boards. 9 Otto deposits back on the sand. And a par triage and a bare trees. No sir. Not till then.
“Confused yet arrogant…” -that’s America for ya!
You’d be too if you saved Europe in WWII, funded nearly every major technological improvement to humankind, fund NATO, fund the defense of most industrialized nations through Treaty agreements, AND then get nothing but fucking complaints from all you ingrates.
Have fun with China y’all.
Brainwashed good ol’ boy jingoism.
France invented Democracy.
That’s why the United States of America was formed as a constitutional republic. Oroiginally, the only part that was representative democracy was the House of Representatives. And we can all see what a shit show the Democrats have made of that.
Unlike the Traitor in Chief?
A traitor is Hillary using a private email server during her stint as Secretary of State in order to avoid being subjected to the Freedom Of Information Act. That my friend is not just traitorous but so Clinton-esq that it should get it’s own Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Flavor. Rotten Hill’s n’ Bill’s Corruptlate Chip.
Pathetic Otto, how does a surfer of all beings become a trumpee?
Hillary is done. The Treasonous clown has painted himself in a corner. Do you belive Qanon too? Rhetorical question amigo…. how bout the pedo ring under the pizza place?
Trump is ripping!
Just admit it.
Yeah right. Ripping. More like ripping up your democracy. If he’s your guy then you fuckers need to take a long hard look at yourselves. Unhinged nepotist malignant narcissist espousing 4chan conspiracy theories from the Oval office, enriching his family in direct violation of emoluments, a Russian asset, a man who paints his face orange, plays golf, twitter and watches Fox instead of running the free world, insults every ally in favor of dictators and autocrats, has fucked the Iran deal, started a trade war that’s causing a world recession, has emboldened and given legitimacy to Kim the younger who is still firing off missiles, …. I could go on for hours. Otto, Bex, Aloha 12, if he’s your guy then you fucks would have enjoyed the 1930’s in Germany.
He came and hell go and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.
He came in a porn star and it’s just one of the things he’ll go to jail for and you will wonder how in the fuck did I ever support the guy.
Economy’s better, no new wars. Isn’t that a net positive so far? Also if you truly want freedom for the NK people, isn’t dialogue with the dictator at least a step in right direction?
Economy was better, arguably because of what Obama did before him, but it’s teetering now and US may go into recession. Yep, no new wars but with Iran cut loose it’s way more volatile. The North Koreans just walked out again so although there is dialogue it isn’t very productive. If Trump wasn’t, as his former Sec. of State described him, “A fucking moron”, there could be a lot of net positives from his term, but as he is, I doubt it.
how much debt you got? how’s your infrastructure? deluded cunts…the lot of ya.
ripping stinky farts
He’s your president for another 5 years. Inhale that, know that, love that. All climate change scam programs (think carbon offsets) are going bye bye. Conservative judges are and will continue to be placed. RGB will soon leave the earth and he will appoint another conservative to replace her. Good times.
Good times indeed.
he doesnt surf
So Otto I assume your ourage was equal when Mike Pence was caught using a private email server as Gov.? Are you equally as outraged by Trump hiding the transcripts of his phone calls on classified servers when several officials said they shouldn’t be?
As quaint as it is you’re still obsessed with Hillary, the world has moved on. Look in the mirror, Trump is playing you for a fool. He’s been caught red handed breaking the law and he admitted to it not two days ago.
Oh wait, no quid pro quo right Clarice?
Edit: misspelled outrage
His hand is not red and will be re-elected in a route. BTW, even if the communists (I don’t jest) in the House impeach, the Senate will not convict (no removal). 67 votes are required to convict. GOP has a majority at 53. Will never happen. Oh and the House using impeachment as a political weapon is alienating moderate voters as has been pointed out by many high profile Democrats.
You clearly haven’t the faintest idea what communism is.
50% of americans are retarded
The other 50% of us know how to spell you fuckin’ “retart”.
Don’t go and delete your comments as you get more fired up you lug nut. None should be spared having joy at your expense.
sorry I misspelled your diagnosis.
that was insensitive of me
That’s funny coming from someone that hides behind a “aspergers hits close to home” duck blind. Maybe they feign aspergers to ignore you.
never said I have aspergers. but thank you for showing everyone what low life scum you are for trying use that to hurt me.
Not what I said. You commented that SSD and myself triggered you by criticizing Global Warming girl with aspergers b/c that subject hits close to home.
Then you called me retarded.
Seems hypocritical. That’s my point.
you have no point.
Funnily enough, it’s not required to win an argument with you Ck T.
What law has he broken Dung? The only thing illegal going on is dumb fuckers leaking shit to the press. Obama stored phone calls on the same server. Bill Clinton entered into a Treaty with the Ukraine in the 94/95? which obligates the President of Ukraine to cooperate with any request by the US under an official DOJ investigatiion which Barr and Durham are.conducting. The Treaty on Mutual Legal Assistance in Criminal Matters.
Unlike other politicians, mostly the career sorts*, Trump didn’t get into politics to get rich. He already is.
I love my country and I don’t want socialism. I don’t want.to see free fucking handouts for everyone with an oh woes is me fucking story. I don’t like open borders. Globalists should fuck off. Along with VAL’s.
As for Hillary, actiions of hers caused the deaths of friends of mine. She can never be too done. Fuck that bitch.
*I’d like to see term limits. I’m sick of congressional members being there for 20+ fucking years. On both sides of the aisle.
Refusing to turn over a whistleblower complaint to Congress: illegal
Withholding foreign aid until a country digs up dirt on your political opponent: illegal
Paying stormy daniels hush money during the campaign: illegal.
Trump got into politics to enrich himself, he’s using the office every day for personal gain. See Pence being pressured to stay 3 hours away from a summit in Ireland, look at the records of who is staying at trump hotels, every time he and the presidential entourage stay at one of his resorts. Those are all windfalls of cash into his pocket from you and fucking me. That doesn’t piss you off?
You do know the whistleblower went to Schiffty Schiff before the IG for Intelligence right? Tell me you know timeline facts b4 MSNBC and CNN spewed forth their gutteral waste deposit?
Yeah crazy it’s almost like he knew trump and his goons were gonna try to cover it up!
Schiff has a duty, under House of Rep Rules and Regulations to give notice to Minority Rep Nunes. Schiff didn’t. Thats covering up.
Vote on Articles of Impeachment. Empower Trump with power to subpoena, power to cross-examine/depose witnesses already. The court of public opinion has no force and effect that isn’t political.
Get on with it already then. If they believe their narrative, prove it.
Wait sec Otts; Isn’t a core pilar of US style conservatism personal accountability*? Isn’t that Hillary rant just the opposite of accountability?
* as in, if I believe in charity I should I give the money
France invented democracy?
moron
Shit! I guess Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby played a bit fast and loose with the historical accuracy of the dialogue. You win this time little man. Fucking retart
Greece invented democracy about 2000 years before France existed.
It saddens me that Hollywood would spread such categorical untruth in an otherwise honestly damn funny movie.
https://youtu.be/yv7UJLOyERs
You spare the rod
You spoil the child
It’s the main problem with civilised society
Doesn’t that cause “mongrel races”?
My mum bashed shit out of me and I’m a perfect citizen.
Um…i’m American?
I do find it fascinating how the wealthiest, most militarized entity in the history of the world manages to be a big victim.
“Um…i’m American?”
If you have to ask….
Not big victim. It would be nice to hear a “thank you” from time to time.
And we are not the most militarized. There are larger “standing armies”, with many of the same capabilities. Military action is asymmetrical more than it ever was. Air superiority, yes. Spending on Naval assets fell behind, and when it comes down to it, the high seas are the only place where forces can remain undetected by satellites.
Thank the U.S. for what – acquiring its wealth and power on the back of tens of millions of dead?
Continuing to expand its empire by all available means and claim it’s about “freedom” and “democracy”?
“tens of millions of dead?”
Um…yeah, you got a source for those numbers? Or you just pulling it out your ass cause it makes for a great news headline?
The sad thing is, you’re not kidding are you?
https://www.globalresearch….
https://www.globalpolicy.or…
You still there Otto?
And those figures don’t include efforts pre-WWII. You could add a few more if you go back to the early 1800s.
Yeah but both sides can mould the stats to suit their arguments, which makes them fairly redundant
What sides?
My point is, for all America’s bleating about freedom and democracy, their wealth and empire has come about at great cost.
This is a fact, there’s no manipulating of stats.
It just seems impossible to you because (after a while) the U.S. kept it further from home and had the power to control the narrative.
Still does.
It’s the great American hypocrisy.
Sorry mate I just think they are easily the best of a bad bunch that’s all.
It’s not easy being the king.
I agree, I’d rather them than China.
But as a government aka a military industrial complex, fuck me they’re dangerous.
If you’re not with them you’re against them and they’ll hijack your country, whatever it takes.
No seriously, what “sides” are you talking about, I’m intrigued.
It’s like being a parent.
Your kids think you’re a fuk wit.
But you just do what’s good for them regardless
Russia beat the Germans not the US
No. The Germans beat themselves. No one wants Stalingrad. Sheeesh.
I’m afraid that Ck T is right and you’re wrong big fella.
“American* libertines have always been drawn to the more relaxed attitudes of the French.”
There are two fundamental issues with the pro surfing/ the Wozzle.
First of all, Joe Average just doesn’t give enough of a shit about pro surfing in its current form, this much we know.
Second, it’s just too American, from the infantile “Wall of Positive Noise” where every child wins a scratch ‘n’ sniff sticker, to the uncomfortable tittering when someone in the commentary booth alludes to the fact that French people (et al.) are more comfortable with their bodies than the average Yank.
Puritanical Americanism is a joke laughed at around the world – even Australia, the 54th state, hasn’t totally rolled over yet.
Ziff and ELO need to take their rainbow coloured confetti and their fairy floss and burn them, take their dainty unicorn out the back and put a bullet in it.
Excellent, well said.
Well, France has a long history of taking out royalty. Vive la France, vive la revolution.
10 September 1977
The last time France executed someone using the guillotine.
But it’s France, so it’s almost romantic.
Two days to get rid of four surfers.
Yet the years go by and Turpel’s voice still remains.
None of the air shows including stab high have kept me interested, there is so much downtime between waves and completed airs they need to provide the commentary team with more back story to talk about, who is each surfer, why was he selected, poach clips off his Insta account, have the drone follow them to the kid drop off point, sit with the other competitors at the bar, female fan interviews on the beach and let Vaughn run it free form.
Hey don’t sweat it reporting round 1 and 2
The comp starts now.
This isn’t going to be a comp.
May as well give it to GMed right now.
And top it off with the World Champ title …
Well that wouldn’t be any fun
Waddaya say ? Roosters or Raiders ?
Never liked the chooks so I have to go Raiders …
Yep raiders
Used to be big on the chooks, when Russell Fairfax was running around with them. (I thought he must have been a surfer, but then I thought Sterlo and Brett Kenny were too and figured Parramatta must be near a beach in Sydney somewhere). But as soon as Phil Gould got involved, I couldn’t stand them. It’s nice to know that you’ve gone green Bex.
Hahaha – good one !
I love grass
i like purple grass
North Sider ! Just kidding Bex , The only good thing about the Roosters was Arthur Beetson and he left them when I was 10 .
Adesanya or Whittaker?
Whittaker got his clock cleaned
They should just put Ricardo Christi along with all the wildcards in the elimination round and run that. It would save an entire day of comp.
that’s bullshit. steph was the most stylish surfer today and everyone agrees she’s prob the best surfer in france. male or female. alternatively anytime the surf isn’t small and clean the chicks look like total kooks. when it is small and clean, they look powerless and shit.
have another drink
don’t drink, brah.