Sneaky: Rotund “man-eating” Great White rams Sydney surfer from “straight underneath!”

"You couldn't wrap your arms around it – it was that big. It was huge."

The “man-eating” Great White shark has every advantage possible in his watery kingdom. Speed, camouflage, sharp teeth that regenerate, size, a nasty reputation to name but a few and so I find it very unfair when the apex killer utilizes sneaky cunning too. Like ramming an unsuspecting surfer out minding his business from “straight underneath” but that is what happened to Sydney man Mike Bruton yesterday on the mid north coast and let’s turn to Australia’s 9 news for all the ghastly details.

Mike Bruton had been in the water near Seal Rocks with his brother for a couple of hours on Saturday and was waiting for a last wave when the shark struck.

“Out of nowhere – (it) just rammed me from straight underneath,” he said 9NEWS.

He was thrown into the air and separated from his board – but he did catch a glimpse of the shark.

“You couldn’t wrap your arms around it – it was that big. It was huge.”

“I just jumped on my board, pretty freaked out by it all. Yeah, sitting there for a little while trying to get a wave in and thinking that next bite was about to come and luckily it didn’t.”

The heartless beast took a massive chunk out of Mr. Bruton’s fun looking Channel Island twinnie and all so stealthily. It would have been one thing, I suppose, if the Great White had swam directly at the surfer, dorsal fin poking out of the water menacingly, the way sharks are supposed to do it. Quite another to come from straight underneath, the dirty-playing, rotten son of a bitch.

A few other notes. It is nice for Australia to re-enter the current shark apocalypse Cape Cod, Massachusetts and Cardiff by the Sea, California are living through. Welcome, mates. Also, Mr. Bruton really did tempt fate “waiting for a last wave.” I don’t want to say the gutless sneak attack was deserved but… I don’t know. Waiting for a last wave is… bold.

Sitting waiting for a wave back in after the attack is also bold.

Like, crazy bold.

And one last thought, do you think there are bears and twinks in the Great Whites’ sexual pantheon? I only ask because this particular Great White that was too rotund for a full grown man to wrap his arms around sounds like a bear.

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drew shourd
drew shourd
6 years ago

To whom ever wrote this…what kind of a bubble do you live in???!!…calling an animal names cause it is trying to eat, calling it’s ways unfair….yo, the surfers were out where there are SEALS….a favorite food of GWS…PLUS there are signs not to surf there. It sounds as though you are a tad more dense than those surfers. We need LESS stupid people in the world NOT more. Hey writer, I know a great place you can go surfing….there will be other dumb cunts there as well…like a dumb cunt brotherhood….

Beans
Beans
6 years ago

Your first clue should have been the surfer’s location…uhem, “Seal Rock?” Seals are the favorite prey of Great Whites, and surfers paddling out on their boards look a lot like seals to a shark swimming below. Great Whites use the ‘shock and awe’ hunting strategy. They swim very deep, gain speed and momentum as them swim quickly to the surface, hit their prey with such force that it usually renders the seal unconscious. Sharks don’t like the taste of humans. Human flesh to them is like eating badly cooked Okra to us…slimy, nasty, boogery… just eew! Remember, sharks don’t have hands or fingers to feel around with. They nip/bite out of curiosity. At the end of the day, they are wild animals native to the ocean. Respect the ocean and its residents and you’ll live longer 😉

Kirstie
Kirstie
6 years ago

This is what is known as “fake news”. Sharks don’t like the taste of humans, fyi. There should be a report button on this site as it’s articles like this that give sharks a bad name. Sharks just usually mistake humans for being seals, especially when on a surf board. Their vision isn’t that great you know. Also, id like to point out that generally shark attacks that occur are by young sharks less than 2 years old as they don’t know they don’t like the taste of humans yet. There a numerous studies that show the older sharks tend to keep away from people because they have identified that humans aren’t their food. One last thing, id like to point out that the ocean is THEIR territory- you enter at your own risk.

AMERICANSAREPISSED
AMERICANSAREPISSED
6 years ago

Time to ban surfing.

Grant Hosking
Grant Hosking
6 years ago

Chas your a pussy bitch! The ocean is the property the “GREAT WHITE KING OF THE SEA🌊🦈! Stay out if your to pussy to man up!😹 and quit your bitch moaning you waxhead tool🤯

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
6 years ago
Reply to  Grant Hosking

Are you a “man-eating” Great White, Grant? Or simply a collaborating species traitor?

Wendy Legeret
Wendy Legeret
6 years ago

I watched JAWS when I was a little kid and that ruined my desire to even put my feet in the ocean. That movie made a beautiful fish into a killing beast as everyone thinks it is.

Whomever enters the ocean – remember one thing and that you are on their “property”. It’s like trespassing and you need to respect their home as you would your own.

Please don’t thing of any shark as a “rotten son of a bitch”. You are the rotten son of a bitch for entering their home.

Cogito Ergo Sum
Cogito Ergo Sum
6 years ago

Maybe Great Whites are learning the preferred method of hunting used by their predators, Orcas.

Orcas are known for attacking from “straight underneath”. Either Great Whites are learning new tricks ( and humans are in a world of hurt) or this Sydney man was attacked by an Orca.

C O
C O
6 years ago

The 90’s called, they want Seal’s lyrics back!

Sierra Sonora
Sierra Sonora
6 years ago

Chas Smith I honestly hope this article is supposed to be satire. If it isn’t, then just know it’s inflammatory. You obviously know nothing about shark behavior. Sharks naturally hunt from below, ambushing their prey. Hollywood just depicts them as showing off their fins to get the audience to feel tension. The guy mentioned he expected a second bite but didn’t get one was because the shark realized the surfer wasn’t prey and backed off. Also, your inflammatory, demonizing descriptions of predator animals who literally are not bound by Human morality is disgusting. Sharks aren’t “heartless”, they don’t “play dirty”, and they definitely aren’t “man-eaters” (they prefer seal, which, surfers with their legs and arms dangling off their boards look very much like, just FYI).

Again, I really hope this article was supposed to be a joke, and if that’s the case, then maybe you should go about it a different way. You wanna make a joke about a shark mistaking a surfer for a seal? Be my guest. But calling it names and slapping demonizing descriptions to the creature isn’t and never will be funny.

Cheers.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
6 years ago
Reply to  Sierra Sonora

Sierra… I’m just going to come right out and say it. Sharks hate people and love to eat men. The Great White, in particular, knows what he’s doing and is being extremely rude.

braveboar
braveboar
6 years ago
Reply to  Sierra Sonora

Some ppl…should just stay off the internet 🤣

Darin Livingston
Darin Livingston
6 years ago
Reply to  Sierra Sonora

Triggered much mam?

Richard Ewels
Richard Ewels
6 years ago

Father and son great whites are swimming along and they see a couple of surfers in the distance. The young fella says to dad” Can we eat those?” Dad says “Okay but do exactly as I do”. So dad goes in circles one of the surfers a couple of times then bang. Has him for dinner. Junior does exactly the same with the other surfer. As they swim away junior says ” That was easy! But why did we have do a couple of circles round them?.. seems a bit cruel”. Dad replies “Yeah but they do taste better without the shit in them”.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

How I feel every Treach trip https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

Whiteys a mouth breather

c4
c4
6 years ago

This is cruel and inhumane! Respectfully, a cape cod wine mom.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

There will definitely be Twinks in the Gay Shark scene. Surely a shark couldn’t ever be a Bear, unless they really let their denticles go for a “shaggy” look (for want of a better term) plus being fat on seals and… surfers, maybe.

Peter Mel's Ego
Peter Mel's Ego
6 years ago

“…had swum…” corrected Pete.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Seal Rocks should be safe in a week or two. Word on the street is that shark was down on holidays from Ballina and should be driving back up the Pacific Highway in another couple of days to avoid the last minute rush.

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
6 years ago

It’s a shame Australian’s are experiencing the same type of electrified horror we Southern Californians are currently dealing with. Those beautiful, safe coastlines… now ravaged with sharks. What next? Northern California? South Africa? What terrible times.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

The horror!

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

The back beach at Seals is called Treachery, so you just know you can never trust the sharks there.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

No waves there .

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

Nope none. it’s quite Sharky too I hear. Stay far away cunts!

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

I miss the good old days when sharks had an Honour code. It’s a fucken free for all out there!

Mystic
Mystic
6 years ago

I got a pic of the dude and his board! Was up that side…. But refused to surf seal rocks …think about it is seals attract what?! Surfed there once a massive shark came between me and another surfer 😅

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Mystic

I haven’t been back since the old local bloke , riding a shortboard , who I always saw stretching and smiling , got nudged at Bull Paddock a few years ago .

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

Origami ! Watching El Casa de Papel ….. ( Money Heist in English )

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Started off good, but dropped off a bit. Couldn’t make much progress with the second series.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

Keep going . Just finished season 3 2 minutes ago …..

oceanyeti
oceanyeti
6 years ago

How good huh… Another Spanish one to check out is Elite. Am biased as the Mrs es una Espanola but how good are the characters!

James
James
6 years ago

Tokyo drift


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