An injured man reigns!
I know, I know that I spend a good 85% of each and every day quietly mocking surfing in the Olympics, another 15% loudly mocking it and yet another 56% giggling about Olympic Surfing’s head cheerleader Fernando Aguerre’s bowties. That’s a lot of time but, underneath the mocking both loud and quiet, and giggling is an intense interest. Never before in our history has one season meant so much.
It means nothing, obviously, but the top two surfers from each country on the World Surf League Championship Tour will be invited to compete in Tokyo and that is intensely interesting•.
And with only two, two, events left on the World Surf League Championship Tour calendar** left it is very important we take stock.
Who will be representing the most important sport of professional surfing for the masses this coming summer?
Who will be our Jesse Owens?
As we stand right now:
Brazil: Gabe, Filipe
USA: Kolohe, John John
Australia: Owen, Jules
France: Jeremy Flores, The Spartan™
South Africa: Jordy Smith, TBD
Israel: Derek Rielly
Besides France’s enduring colonial perfection, the most intriguing storyline, after Derek Rielly swinging for Israel***, is that of John John Florence.
The greatest surfer in the entire world**** was injured very early yet there he sits and with one more Kelly Slater failure, with two Kolohe Andino equal 17ths, he’ll slip right in despite not surfing, professionally, since 2016.
That is either an epic statement of his skill or a complete and utter repudiation of American surfing.
Which do you think it is?
Seth Moniz, the wildcard here, would be such a wonderful storyline. There he sits at 11th just waiting for either Kolohe to fail or John John to stay hurt and Kelly to….. Kelly*****.
If the Hawaiian wonder with an impeccable pedigree can sort a decent finish in Portugal then in his own backyard then brilliant.
Otherwise Derek Rielly for Israel.
But also what in the world happened, Kelly Slater? Your number one obstacle blew out his knee. The other American is Kolohe Andino. Are you telling me, even at 60 years old, you can’t overcome?
If you don’t show up/blow up in Portugal then your 11 World Titles are meaningless.
*Currently drinking
** Can’t remember
*** Go Derek!
****Is he? Is John John Florence the current greatest surfer in the world?
***** Be weird but showcase talent but allow weirdness to overcome.
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I am a duck and ‘pro surfing’ is water off my back. Ie, it just gets ignored.
I don’t know the rules for the Olympics…
Countries or for the guys and girls
But I think about the show to all us, and think everyone deserves a place in the competition
And these guys, these blokes deserves their places in the Surf Olympic Event.
They’re ripping now, like no one, both in fine form to exchange positions with injuried, or in bad physical and technical conditions, athletes!
I suggest both, Kolothos Apollonia and Poutremos Poutra Poutros, to take their places in the US Team…
Pop!…
Me too! I feel comfortable with Denis Villeneuve at the helm, he did a superb job with the Blade Runner sequel.
Eithan Osbourne will also be surfing for Israel.
considering the expected conditions, a cleaver country (where have i heard that before?) would send two QS scrappers.
Court Jester possibly ?
Aguerre’s bowtie – up for grabs
That’s the sort of raw stories we want the wsl to produce. That was shockingly great.
Kelly is signed up to Ziff and will do as his told for at least the next ten years.
The WSL isn’t going let its golden goose do anything that is not in the WSl best interest.
They brought his wave pool and soul
in the one dirty deal.
Bought
they did not buy his soul because that would mean wsl is holding soul. of which they have none.
https://www.google.com.au/a…
Strange company for KS to keep, or maybe not
wow.
Pretty nuts hey?
Layers and layers of screws loose.
Got a few screws loose to use/need a life coach in the first place. Screws loose squared using that guy
Nope makes perfect sense he would choose that company, what evidence is there that he wouldn’t?
It baffles me in some ways, makes perfect sense in others
that was tough
That’s why I call my spot ‘Mines’.
People think I’m being funny.
Last time I went surfing I totally unloaded Brown Hell as I waded through the shorey before paddling out. I felt several kilos lighter when I lay onto my board. I wasn’t bothered as the long shore rip was going down toward the point where all the cunts have a long-standing rep for being dickheads. Fuck’em.
(Big smiles)
When the Dream transforms into a Nightmare from which the sleeper cannot awake ?
I watched a little of it.
How creepy is it that everyone was soooo encouraging, sometimes in a really cringey or even patronising way.
Where’s his reality check? The cynical general public/ abuse on twitter doesn’t really count. Rich men and their fawning courtiers eh?
Kelly, if you are reading this. Quit with that fucking ginger creep scammer and go hang out with Wiggs for a few weeks. You’ll be a thousand percent better for it.
“Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. It depends in part upon the myth-making imagination of humankind. The person who experiences greatness must have a feeling for the myth he is in. He must reflect what is projected upon him. And he must have a strong sense of the sardonic. This is what uncouples him from belief in his own pretensions. The sardonic is all that permits him to move within himself. Without this quality, even occasional greatness will destroy a man.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune
Ahhh, the sardonic plateau. Rarely, if ever, consistently achieved.
James you keep quoting from some of my favourites!
But not necessarily as rich. The total Wiggs Air BnB experience is not cheap. Not saying it isn’t worth it mind.
Reckon Kelly pays that guy for that simplistic pop psychology?
Goes to show how I generally overestimate people: I would have thought people are too smart to part cash for that corn flake packet life advice shite, obviously not
It is possible that Kelly is still living his dream and doesn’t want to stop ?
Off Topic: Came across this today and just had to share.
Funny Irishman’s last fucking prank, from the grave.
https://youtu.be/ANcvkDADgmw
Finally a woke wake ?
Reckon JJF could always surf pipe with a knee brace if Portugal put him at risk
Italo and Occ for Italy
Micro Hall for Micronesia.
bourez for sparta
durbidge for fiji
Jordy for nippletania
gabs for manscapia
cardoso for china
Re **** yeh John John is greatest
Surfer in the world – hard to watch him at 2017 Margaret river etc and disagree. I actually think most wsl surfers would agree. How he will surf after his injury heals is an open question. Maybe Gabe then as I just don’t see how JJF can continue his air game as it was
how was that “friend”/therapist up in his grill with all that psychobabble.
No wonder the poor cunt was so stressed.