“I sometimes wake up and feel totally alone in the world. I think it happens to people that have had great success in their life. I feel super alone, and people don’t quite relate to me.” | Photo: @sensitiveseashellcollector

Kelly Slater: “I sometimes wake up and feel totally alone in the world…people don’t quite relate to me.”

Eleven-time champ opens up on Olympic podcast. “The way to fill that hole in my heart was just to win.”

Remember back in July 2018 when Parko announced his retirement at J-Bay, and Slater immediately plonked his own end date announcement (end of 2019) down on top like it was a game of Snap?

(Read: Of Course: Kelly Slater Steals Parko’s Thunder here.)

T’was much outrage at the time. Kelly controlling the narrative, smothering yet another moment to make it his own.

The evil king’s magic mirror etc.

(Kelly said he was so inspired by Joel’s announcement he wanted to follow suit.)

Recriminations aside, it now is the end of 2019.

And Slater’s still back and forth on his retirement like a yo yo.

Will he or won’t he? The question has dominated two of his three decades in the biz.

Maybe it’s a case of Kelly’s infamous mind games. But at this late stage in his career whose head is he getting in to, other than his own?

Or could it be genuine indecision? The bizarre Sound Waves episode still looms large in our rear view. What was left of his veneer was peeled back way too far for comfort.

Was the GOAT really taking life advice from a faith healer? Could our king really be that… vulnerable?

The Olympic podcast may provide some answers.

This semi-regular offering has again smashed through the WSL’s wall of positive noise like a doped up Ruski. The unaffected, spartan illumination of its subject matter is of a class E-Lo and his saccharine sweet offerings could only dream.

It’s the ‘Enough Rope’ style of  interviewing: if you give the subject enough rope they’ll hang themselves.

Kelly’s certainly not turned into a spectacle as he was in Sound Waves, intentionally or otherwise.

Like with Owen Wright before him, Kiwi journo Ash Tulloch gives Kelly space to breathe. And we get to dig a little deeper into what drives the goat.

But are we just looking at another mirror? Another patented Kelly smoke show?

Make your own judgement, here.

(A quick aside on Dave Prodan’s new WSL podcast. Dave comes across as a nice guy with core credentials. The intent is there. But the interviews still play out like extended post heats. No new stones are unturned. The decision not to grill Toledo on his big-wave game, despite multiple opportunities, was telling. There’s a way to go yet.)

Some highlights:

On his early career (Kelly speaks about his poor upbringing, and negative influences in his early life on tour): “The way to fill that hole in my heart was just to win.”

On being Kelly Slater:
“I sometimes wake up and feel totally alone in the world. I think it happens to people that have had great success in their life. I feel super alone, and people don’t quite relate to me.”

On his legacy:
“If I’m not happy with what I’ve done (in my career) I have a serious mental issue.”

And, his retirement:
“I had a lot of sadness this year. As you come to the end of a cycle of something in your life, it’s equally exciting and sad. (Competitive surfing) has been such a big part of my life. I don’t know when I’m going to retire, I will announce it the day it happens. But I feel like it’s an impending thing.”

But also:

“I can’t retire before 30 years as a pro. In fact, when the Olympics start (in August 2020) it will be thirty years for me.”

Kelly the prankster, still playing this game better than anyone else. Even the indecision is calculated.

That competitive drive for success, for relevance, is always there. We know it.

But each apparent contradiction, each second guess, take us closer to his polysemic truth.

It’s a mirror, held up to another mirror.

Just how he likes it.

Listen here. 

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Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

I can’t hate the Slate. He just keeps on giving. The reaction to the soundwaves LSD infused session must have stung a bit. Also.. who can’t relate to feeling alienated in an increasingly isolated yet more densely populated world. Poor Ke11. I kinda want to him to make and win gold at the Olympics. But.. I want JJF to win Pipe so I can’t have both now can I?

Nick Dee
Nick Dee
6 years ago

Deluded stars feel “totally alone in the world”. For example, Jimi Hendrix was the GOAT in my opinion. But for 20 years, I didn’t listen to him. I didn’t miss him. He was not that important. The same about Kelly. Kelly might be the GOAT but he is not really that important. There are people starving in the world but Kelly has earned millions of dollars just to do the trivial activity of surfing. Andy was also great. MP was great. But they both had bipolar disorder and heavy struggles. Yes, its hard to relate to someone as deluded as Kelly. He believes the hype about what is essentially not very important. The guy in the video was the ex-GOAT who became a heroin junkie. This happens because all of the adulation is about essentially nothing important. Its like The Beatles when all of those idiotic girls would go hysterical (about nothing important).

https://youtu.be/j082opb4AZo

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Dee

Hey Nick
Where you goin with that gun in your hand?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
6 years ago

There’s something really odd about Kelly Slater when you hear him talk candidly. It’s not so much what he talks about as much what he doesn’t talk about.

I don’t think he’s one of those guy who were probably what we’d call a megalomaniac and had to win for their own ego.

It’s almost like he was driven to win to compensate for something.

I think deep down he’s a very lonely person.

He’ll tell you he finished 29th at bells in 1991, and tell you the score mick fanning needed at pipe to win his title. But does he talk about abstract inconsequential things?

I feel kind of sorry for him. He lives in a bubble of surfing perfection and I don’t know if he’s ever ventured outside of it.

John Melba
John Melba
6 years ago

Interviewer: Are you happy with your legacy in surfing?

Kelly Slater: If I’m not happy with what I’ve done (in my career) I have a serious mental issue.”

Interviewer: And are you?

Kelly Slater: No

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
6 years ago

hahaha. nope. maybe in 1994. but not for a looooooong time.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

I take it Slater hasn’t read Offrockers incredibly moving story. If you’re reading this, OR, hope you are doing good.
Get over yourself, Kelly. You’ve led an incredibly blessed life that few can only dream about. Riches, women, fame, surfing and surfing and surfing and more surfing. You’re still in good enough shape to be one of the best in the world! Think about this: Kelly Slater has never had to work a regular job in his entire life. He has never had the pressure of grinding it out to just make ends meet.

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
6 years ago

if he had stayed retired in ’98 he would be a god. ….now he’s been exposed as a fragile cunt with daddy issues.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Even 2014

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago

Like the smelly kid
With all the toys but no one
Wants to play with them

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

waaaaaay too long. you know what Jen, as a fad, podcasts will die a silent death.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Too many people doin’ long commutes for it to die. At least in the short term.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Teleporting.?

mundus
mundus
6 years ago

Anybody catch Slater 24/7? Kind of an uncomfortable watch, the goat seemed insecure like he was trying to convince himself of something. Oh well I guess life is tough for all of us.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
6 years ago

Hey @surfads:disqus you write real good.

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

I’ll take 75 cents a word (USD) and a modest, secure cabana at either Playa Negra or Grande.

… oh, uh, I mean, thanks!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Careful you don’t stab yourself in the foot … giggles . Beware the dark side of the force

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

Who could play Kelly in the Film based on the story of his life …..

11 titles , No Wedding and a Funeral …….. sadly no screenings at Sunset

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

One thing Sam George typed that I didn’t scoff at was that Sunset was over rated.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

ha ha maybe but I think Sam wrote that because the place scared him shitless.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Surfed there with you several times Nick. People forget you were a traveling pro. I think people who embrace the concept of the mid range board and smallish gun can find fun in the mixed up chaos. I still have a 7’2″ in the rafters that I may have only surfed there. Another 6’8″ that will be buried with me.

Sam was the original networker…. his first risk of his entire career (sunset over rated) was the only time I can remember agreeing with him.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

I’ve been having an absolute ball there for the past 10 days, cycling through the AB six channel pins, 7’0″, 7’7″, 8’0″, so fun!

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

What’s the surf doing at the moment? Why no contest? WSL isn’t giving much

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

Ah this swell’s coming but it’s not quite here yet. It hit the buoys pretty hard, I think maybe overnight tonight it’ll be big then come back down to 6-10’+ tomorrow when they’ll run the whole thing. Don’t be surprised if the world champ thing gets sorted out pretty early in the day.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Thanks for the boots on ground info 🙏
I might set my alarm and get up early to watch it, for the second time this year.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

This is what this place needs

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Met Thornton Fallander on a boat trip in Indo…. he was building the same channel bottoms as AB…. thin as imaginable through the tail. I always found them hard to control in windy conditions, they got “stuck” and required a stomp to change trajectories. Sunset is windy. I liked simple bottom contours there… flat panel V, minimal concaves. Neutral boards.

Fuck have fun Nick.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

How wonderful is Thornton’s tube to cutback combo at Nias in Storm Riders …..

mundus
mundus
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Never forget paddling out at Sunset on a day that I probably should not have on a blade thin 7’2″(10-12 HWsize) it looked like Waimea attached to backdoor. After dodging sets and guys on 10 footers for an hour finally got a shoulder, then the dreaded west set landed on me, traumatized for the rest of trip

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

I am wondering when the GOAT stands down if Sunset will miraculously stand up and being Mr Sunset will become again just as relevant as being Mr Pipeline …….

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

it is, its not suited to a 5’2″ retro fish and finding a parking spot for my kitted out sprinter is a nightmare.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

Who has the time to listen to podcasts? What a self indulgent medium…. bullshitting basically for an audience who must be bored out of their minds. I could see ten minute versions, but fuck an hour or more??? Chas can’t even type more than a 200 word post, but he’s good for 60 some minutes of insight on surfing? Or is it more fake wars against fake enemies, sharks or gratuitous repeats about pools? Now BG is posting real estate stories…. like who the fuck cares?

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

they’re pretty good when you’re driving.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Another sign of deteriorating way of life, commuting. People spend so much time going to and from jobs to satisfy bank loans….. and all day long they watch Surflie dreaming.

I have an alternative career path, so mucho free time was the goal (surf and travel). The boys call me all day long…. “how is it?”…. dunno why they ask, they aren’t leaving their offices. Its basically indentured torture.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Looking for a mentorship?

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

yeah buddy, got a gig in Richmond, VA in May…. bring your anesthetist. I can never spell his vocation correctly.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Going to hold you to it! I can’t ever get him off his paddle board to drive south two hours to enjoy better quality sandbars. If your gig coincides with a spring swell. Will roll out the red carpet for you..

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

He’s set in his ways. Was a very talented twin fin rider in the day, we all looked up to him. Good shaper too… I learned so much from him.

But I can’t inspire him to go anywhere. He’s got a program and he never deviates. We’ll see if he travels to VA and I’m not in the least surprised that he won’t drive to surf near you. I will though. Always wanted to see the banks.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

He’s under the radar here. No waves of consequence or long walls to arc lines that deliver respect. Found his cadence in his arms and shoulders. Love to share the line up with him on a solid day! In the spring will burn a board to stir the ocean for you..

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

I do it so you don’t have to

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

You should post podcast reviews for those with less time.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Mate it’s the radio of current generation. Nobody listens to radio any more.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

Especially when you can get stuff like this
https://youtu.be/U5AyM4zPUXI

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

I do But later on a podcast

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

Man I love my “wireless”…am/fm. radios (just bought 2 more)…oldies,classical, weird stuff, Public Radio, news, mexican music…no subscribtion, random song selection…haha yeah shitty commercials

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

I love the Mexican music radio stations you can get in California. The banda and norteño stuff with a real heavy tuba definitely get my juices flowing. I used to have my Mexican friends recommend their favorite hardcore narcocorridos artists and which CD’s to buy. Still fun to occasionally be drinking beers with the boys and put that stuff on the stereo nice and loud with that pumping tuba beat.

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago

haha!! Banda Banda Banda!! Now that stuff gets me doing my hillbilly dance, to much laughter!!!! My friend is learning me on the varities of mexican music, so radio all day here in the gardens. Radio Bronco!!! Also it helps me with my gringo spanish. (I make him listen to classic rock sometimes, if its a good Zep or Hendrix song etc) We have “sponsored” him, referrals for work, best dude ever. Totally trustworthy, hardworking. I feel like a loser just taking time to get check the surf. California’s economy would crumble if the Mexicans decided to take up surfing.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

I still listen to radio. But then again I also subscribe to and read the newspaper everyday too.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago

Ok boomer!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

My friends and I are around Kelly’s age.

The majority are running around fucking up, overthinking and full of self-doubt to a level I’ve never seen before over the years of our friendships as we try and work out what our 50’s are going to look like.

Kelly’s been in a bubble way outside of our daily grind so I’m never surprised to see and hear him stumbling and clutching at straws.

I feel for the dude.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Yeah whenever Kelly talks like this I think, “Every cunt feels that way mate, it’s not restricted to GOATs ya know”

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

I guess he’d have a few more yes men indulging him than most cunts.

That’s not normal and certainly not helpful over a lifetime.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

It is odd that our generation (including you Negs) is experiencing a vulnerability that our parents generation less often felt. Most of my friends are circling 60 and assumed that successful careers would lead to a comfy retirement, which isn’t the case often.

None of us thought we would still be riding short boards either, so there are two sides to the story. But the insecurity of volatile finances is unnerving and causes anxiety. Seems pretty universal too. We may be the first of more generations to not do as well as our parents.

Listening to anything Kelly says is hard to digest. I’m personally on my 5th mid life crisis so fuck off Kelly.

Thing is, when it all comes together and I surf quality waves alone, all the bullshit disappears and all I want is one more.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Remember when everyone just used to automatically switch to long boards? I’m not even considering it, maybe a bit more volume though.

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

I always said, when that time comes (Longboards), retire with dignity.

Phil Becker fucked us reintroducing the mini long boards to the retiree’s…. he built an empire on getting angry old fucks back into the mix with huge boards.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

They just reprogrammed the Terminator ….. Phil Becker has replaced Sarah Connor !

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

Dude found a niche completely ignored, reintroduced a user friendly version of a concession board and retired comfortably. Used to be a great builder of guns (Rick Surfboards) and mid range boards. He discovered low lying fruit and the lineups filled with his acolytes.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

In his defense , it is kind of nice to see a shaper of note cash in than someone outside the circle . Friends of mine, lifetime surfers were afraid to start a surf school in town so as not to upset the fragile harmony in the minuscule surf community …. then just up the road , 6km north to be exact , businessmen from Belgium turned up from nowhere and set up a camp for 300 VALs a week .Shit happens ?

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

Your friends were sensitive to our collective future. The Belgium biz guy didn’t give one fuck, like the surf industry.

Phil listened to his retired friends, bloated and disenfranchised. Ostracized by their own inactivity. He gave them a path back into the game and changed surfing in Cali at that time profoundly. Of course, all the other old carp shapers followed suit and the grey rotound revolution was on.

Today he hides at Pan Dulce and surf relatively alone if at all. We should all visit and make his day to day more social. Social karma shall we say?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Those who live by the longboard should , at the least , be annoyed often by the shortboarders ….

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

He was a nice man, skilled craftsman who sold out. I say camp on his front lawn and snake him.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Never forgive , never forget …..You may be more Fremen than Hippy ?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

I thought you were going to say; die by the longboard.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

I am only half evil . It was an act of auto censorship

As Morissey once sang

It’s so easy to laugh , it’s so easy to hate
It takes strength to be gentle and kind …..

Trying to convince my kids to find the courage to be gentle and kind .

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Truth. Although it seems the Big M’s views have changed more recently. He’s not racist, he just …

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

This song touch a chord through a period of suffering , and now makes me smile years down the track ….. like in surfing , there are plenty of genius on water that I would love to surf like but fuck me I would never want to be like them …… following that logic one can love the song but not who wrote it , played it or sang it ?

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

Morrisey is an acquired taste without Johnny Marr.

A producer gave me tix for a show in LA and a guy tapped my shoulder to pass a joint. I handed it behind me while my ex freaked out who was seated in the that row. The dude hits the joint so hard and I looked at him, “Dude, it’s meant to share” which woke him up and he passed it back.

Next thing you know, the spotlight shines on us and Morrissey intros George Michael who stumbles to the stage very fucking stoned, looking shaky as fuck.

He never returned to his seat.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Luckily for George he was a singer and not a pro surfer during that period .

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

He was seated next to Bowie…. who was laughing his ass off that George got called to stage. My ex is surveying our neighbors and knew just about everyone…. I’m not good at that, but I did recog David.

Now they are all dead and Morrissey is the one obsessed with death.

But alas, no JMarr so it sounded weak as fuck. Producer asked how I enjoyed the show, turns out he gave us his tix.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Damn, you’ve got good stories, Hippy! Keep em coming!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Yeah, absolutely. Have never got CCR, and now via a twisted world of seeing a band I like playing a cover version , we are learning a cover of CCR song. My wife (a CCR fan) is making hay.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

Make hay with her while the sun shines ….

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago

I posted a bunch above…suffice to say, I’ve ridden everything, mostly here in SB, sometimes (often) its super small and longboards are great. Solo sandspit at wastehigh is a really long freaky kind of wave!! ahhh them days. Just turned 65…haha. nothing clever to say about that!! ok enjoy the day!!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

I have had some fun on soft and longboards since 91 on perfect minuscule days in France , I just don’t tell anyone ( till now ) … enjoy all the rides Section SB

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago

Your friends are inhibited through a lifetime of suppression Bicko. Too many voices in their heads to take an opportunity they saw.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

I honestly believe they were just trying to make an honorable decision ….. you can’t hide in a town which you can run around in less than 10 minutes

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

I love my mini mal..
We cruise like a shark and burn people like fire.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Wish it was that simple. The log can be plenty fun and can turn a surf starved jones depression around

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Dont worry Hippy, Im always happy and sneak all those insiders! I behave like a grom usually, and love terrorizing vals and kooks…..IE oh I’m fallling off and might run you over…oh I’m not and just missed you. Look out ! Look out! Its that scarecrow again!
ps. yeah retire with dignity is kinda what the deal is, although its “somewhat” more complicated than that. There has been freedom in letting go of the compulsion… and realizing also, that somewhere, right now, its going off, somewhere around the world, and someone is scoring…and thats cool. Good for them!!! Get it peoples!! I got a few good ones too!!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Fuck I lived in Fear of it from age 35 until it struck me it didn’t have to be that way . I suppose it was somewhat normal for guys who had started on mals to go back to them but not for anyone who had started after 1970 and remained fit . Fuck reliving my youth would be to ride a 5’8” swallow tale twin fin and not wrestling a log ? See how we all go at 70 something …

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

Indeed Bicko. Im closer to 70 than 30!

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
6 years ago

Still on proper boards at 56, but things are definitely harder now than at 46. More work to stay strong and limber.

Often think and talk with my mates about how long we can keep it up. Can see myself riding slightly bigger boards on shitty days, but staying with my current good-wave boards for ages.

Don’t even have a longboard at the mo, but if we lived near a good log wave, I would have.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

I am two years younger , Mads . I am still riding a 6’ x 19” in most waves but will upgrade to similar dimensions soon in Oz with Epoxies , which my mates who now all ride them call cheating . I have to agree that the shitty days , which I absolutely loved and ruled for near on 30 years are now my Achilles heel . Just can’t paddle fast enough and takeoff like I used to to gain enough entry speed to set up the ride ….but I Rode on tiny days this year in France a 5‘8” Psycho Nitro with lots of volume and it went like the powers of piss . Might get one of those too .

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
6 years ago

When is your triumphant return to the Antipodes, Oh Bicko?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

End of January if the kids passports come through in time .

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
6 years ago

Far canal! Let it be so.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

That soon?!? Good for you, Bicko. You must be frothing at this new chapter in your life, I certainly am for you!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  SSD

Thanks champ …. another new start

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

So awesome!

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

Keep in touch boyo.
You know where we is.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

Do you swim laps mads?

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

Sometimes, Mr Worm.

Mostly just a bit of morning yoga; gym; ride bike to work; run; surf as much as possible.

Would love to have those wonderful Aussie outdoor pools here, and am considering getting a surf ski for our never ending flat spells.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

Sounds like you do a fair amount to stay in shortboard shape. May I politely suggest a paddle board over the ski for those flat spells. A 12′ stock can go a great distance, and your arms/lungs and shortboard will thank you for it

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

You may, and thank you.

Ideally I’d get a Parmenter PSV (paddle surf vehicle), a 12ft spear that you can surf and paddle. Don’t even know that I could find a stock 12ft paddle board in NZ, but I may just be ignorant.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

Nice choice. I had to Google it. I found this thing it looks mental, you could go out for hours on it
https://www.instagram.com/p…

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

I’ve been looking at his online boards…Makaha Machine in various lengths from 12ft down to about 8ft looks really nice. He is just up the coast from here, or was…Listened to those podcasts where he discusses board construction. Now I understand well, alot more than before!! Like, why is this board dead? It has no dings etc? Hes a smart guy.

Poop Stance
Poop Stance
6 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

I ordered a 9’4” Makaha Machine from him a couple years ago. It’s basically a confidence inspiring functional overkill shape for me when the winter waves get out of my admittedly small comfort zone. I’ve ordered a few boards from him and they all go really good and the process is really informative. He definitely takes his time with each order to make sure you get what you want. His prices are surprisingly affordable and considering his background probably the best value I’ve ever seen.

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  Poop Stance

hey PoopStance, sorry I missed this!!! I’m having trouble with discus. Talked with a friend who just ordered 2 from Dave, $300 bucks for blank and shape, not bad!! Trouble is then you have to get it glassed!! 6-8 weeks from Watermans Guild in SD, and you have to figure out some help to gt the board brought to you. Parmenter speaks so clearly on the pluses and minuses of glassing boards that I would hesitate gettting anyone else to do it. Those guys do great laminating, which is key.
So 700-800 for a new one, if you can wait. Totally reasonable, my friend said the bottom rocker was amazing and he knew it was magic as soon as he paddled it. He should be a salesman for him. I would love to see a pic of your Makaha Machine!!! I just love that plan shape, I was thinking of a 7-8 footer. Sounds like he kinda does what he wants after talking with you, about your spots, style and experience etc, and doesnt really like guys quibbling about “take off an 1/8 inch off the rails”

I might just go local and get a 7fter semi-gun-fun shape at least to get me off my longboard. I have some old guns around, but would just go over the falls on them.

Poop Stance
Poop Stance
6 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

Yeah, he does an amazing job explaining everything and making sure he understands what it is you’re after. I can’t seem to post photos to Disqus because the files are too big but here is a link to one that is very similar to mine. The one in these photos is 9’0”x23 but mine is 9’4”x20.5 but the outline, glass job, and fin placement is very similar.

Good luck on your search!

https://m.facebook.com/phot…

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  Poop Stance

he thanx….Discus is a mess for me now, but I get notifications on laptop at least. Board looks nice, too wide, yours at 20″ is more reasonable. I like the tail, maybe pull the nose in abit though. Are you in cali? How difficult was it to get board done and glassed? I would love to give the blind ordering a try, but still like the old school way of feeling up the board in the shop!!! Although I’ve made some dumb errors doing that. ” this thing is sweet” (compared to the longboards it was next too…haha) ok later. Go get some waves for me!

Poop Stance
Poop Stance
6 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

I’m not in Cali and the shop selection can be limited where I live so I ordered blind but I have also have a blind faith in Dave, haha. Yeah, mine looks slightly narrower in the nose and when I’m home I can check since he writes very detailed dims on the stringer. I had mine glassed at a place near him that he selected. It wasn’t Watermans or Haakonsen but it is very high quality. I’m forgetting the name now but I can check that too. I didn’t even know it was possible to get it unglasssed. I drove down on an extended road trip and picked it up from him. It takes about six months to get a board from him but all three that I’ve ordered have been worth the wait.

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  Poop Stance

Thanx PS for that other note, i cant find it here. Local glassing shop in SLO is good, I follow their Instagram along with Nowtro.com (daves site). Appreciate your input!! I will probably get local something for now, then figure out what I want long term. Gotta hook up with my friend, check his new boards out, but hes a 4am guy, and I’m now more midday. Ok nice chatting! (discus needs a mailbox function)

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

the hero of yesterday

Surfy McSurfyface
Surfy McSurfyface
6 years ago

And yet many of the younger generation are currently in transition from logs to 5’8″ swallow tail twin fins….

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

Everything old is new again . It was a fun time to ride them during MR’s Reign in the late 70s early 80s .

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

…just turned 65…I grew up on longboards, rode them on and off, swore I never would again after hit. a few times in good waves…(accidental go out) .old ones are heavy…..anyways, now, I certainly cant duckdive em, or even go out in decent waves, all the old injuries etc make surfing sort of difficult… So I am trying to find sort of a errrr mid-length kinda 7ft board….I rode a 7’6″ most of my surfing time, I think the waves in cali were more out of control in the past decades…shit tons of current …anyways. Longboards ARE fun when its knee high point peelers….haha full circle, thats how I learned.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  SectionSB

Cheers, Section. Yep you’re right about them being fun at knee high!

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Throw in racism and you just summarized a huge reason Trump is so successful in the States.

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Gesu Bambino, yes! I’m only halfway through the the interview, but it really struck me that Kelly doesn’t have a clue about people. And maybe he’d be a hell of lot happier if he knew that ‘normal non-goat people’ struggle with exactly the same issues.

I feel like patting him on the back and giving him a helping hand AND punching him in the nose to wake him up.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Mads Naeraa

You can take the Viking out of Denmark but you can’t take Denmark out of the Viking …. I will definitely miss the brutal honesty of Northern Europeans ….. truly .

Mads Naeraa
Mads Naeraa
6 years ago

Bicko, I’m a pussycat by Euro standards.

Germany is where you get a masterclass. But you knew that.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Nick, can you summarise each decade in one sentence?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

Where do I start?

1960s: Clean cut young Boomers go straight, or mad
1970s: Where people learned to surf, shape, and smuggle drugs
1980s: Masculine Stupidity and spectacular genius, take your pick!
1990s: New School, the Industry, and the birth of modern nostalgia
2000s: The 1980s but with a fuckload of Money
2010s: Death, VALs, and the ghastly triumph of Western civilisation

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Oh wait I thought you meant surfing. Whoops!

0-10 Innocent at the mercy of Fate
10-20 The terrible discovery of Sex
20-30 Anything’s possible! Oh shit no it’s not
30-40 Make some fucking money or die
40-50 Oh God who am I really
50-60 I think perhaps I don’t give a shit anymore

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Think I’ll stick this to my dunny wall

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Yes, classic list.

SSD
SSD
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Haha! Solid.
The best birthday gift I got when I hit 50 was that not giving a shit thing.

RS
RS
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Do you ever long to be truly old – 70s, 80s, 90s – and not give a fuck about anything because every day could very well be your last?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  RS

No I do not, but neither can I really say I long to be young again.

SectionSB
SectionSB
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

60-70? damn, no one cares!! haha…me neither! Grom forever.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Appreciated!
And your early thoughts on the incoming 20’s?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

Surfing: Tables turn in all sorts of horrid ways
Life: Time begins to win the war but who cares

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Naa you and the sandhill warrior keep the flame burning (no Olympic pun intended)

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Ghastly?
You ingrate
Ghastly for Who?
Mr Ten fun sunset days

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Are you ok, Nick?

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

kelly has never considered the possibility that there are ‘others’.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago

Sure he has. Have you ever spent time with the guy? The thing is, he doesn’t really believe in being defined by anyone else’s experience. Until it’s happened to him, it hasn’t really happened. I think this is pretty common really, just like freaking out that you’re all alone in your 40s.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Everyone is all alone trapped in a body from birth till death.
noone can come in.
Ever.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago

I can come in the backdoor.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Thats true
I guess.

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

just like he’s an avid environmentalist who takes a helicopter to avoid 30 minute drive. dude is a farce.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I ditched most of my friends at 45, blocked their numbers.
I’ve never been healthier or happier.

Toin coss
Toin coss
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Agreed. I’d argue, and I might not be in the majority here, that he’s handled it all better than most. History is filled with stories of the gifted screwing the pooch.. Kelly’s ego is what it is. There’s fuckin looks in every line up with bigger egos than him. At least there’s equilibrium with the talent / ego ratio. If he was just a fuckwit we’d have marginalized him by now, but he’s not, and there’s a lot we all recognize in his vulnerability, and funny, but it’s his surfing that opens the door to his relatability to most of us, but closer to reality is the issues that we all share more than talent.

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I feel for many heroes of their own yesterday.

John Non John
John Non John
6 years ago

He may have sociopathic tendencies and no actual friends. When is his heat?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

“Power attracts the corruptible. Suspect any who seek it.”

― Frank Herbert, Chapterhouse: Dune

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
6 years ago

“The way to fill that hole in my heart was just to win” = It’s not my fault I’m like this.

“People don’t quite relate to me” = I haven’t given a whistling shit about anyone else for 4 decades. (It’s everyone else’s fault I’m like this).

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

Jimmy , you are probably not going to get the job as his next guru …. shame

Hippy
Hippy
6 years ago

Imagine the book his GF could write….

But like Long Tom so eloquently phrased, when the waves get grunty, I will always cheer and watch K11. I loath is social media self, but in wild conditions he’s still magic

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Love him or hate him there is no denying the Greatest Showman on Ocean .and (. maybe less so on ) Earth …

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

Anti-inflammatory ….. Heads , Shoulders , Knees and Blows ?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

Inflammatory Speech ?

Woodeneye
Woodeneye
6 years ago

“30 wedding photos that went horribly wrong, the 34 most tragic photos ever, Cosplay the girls that took it to far – try not to gasp when you see #9” and I still made it to the comments and I still wanted to click on the interview. The Slater Brand is powerful.


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