"Thousands more" possibly in the area as well.
Christmas, Hanukkah, etc. is certainly not shaping up to be jolly in the State of Florida, no not at all, for it was revealed today that six massive Great White sharks have essentially surrounded the peninsula, choking off both the northern redneck portions and southern Cuban areas.
And we have learned that the apex predators are, indeed, evolving, learning to swim with their fins below the water’s surface so as not to attract attention but could it be that they now understand military tactics? Now comprehend how to utilize the classic pincer movement first deployed by Nader Shah during the Battle of Kirkuk?
It certainly seems this way and we must head to CNN’s International Desk for the very latest.
A single sighting of a great white shark is enough to get most people out of the water. But six? That’s the stuff of nightmares (or movies).
OCEARCH, an ocean data collection agency, has indicated that a half-dozen of its tagged white sharks have congregated off the Florida coast. The agency’s tracking tool shows four white sharks off the northeastern coast and two more swimming in the southwest ocean region.
While it may seem uncommon to have so many tracked sharks surfacing in one location, the water temperatures are actually ideal right about now. Three of the sharks found a sweet spot off the coast of Jacksonville, where water temperatures are 65-67 degrees.
What is unusual is the amount of sharks the agency is able to track. Recent years have brought more research expeditions, which has allowed them to discover loads of previously unknown information about the species.
The sharks, named Nova, Sydney, Cabot, Ironbound, Unama’ki and Hudson, were captured and released with trackers that enable OCEARCH to see where they are and trace their migration patterns.
OCEARCH founder and expedition leader Chris Fischer told CNN this group may be just the tip of the pod — there are likely thousands more in the region that don’t have trackers attached.
Thousands more?
What sort of strategy are they employing? A siege? An attack in oblique order? Crossing the T?
More importantly, what defensive positions are Florida State officials drawing up to thwart this clear and present menace?
It’s times like these I crave Napoleon Bonaparte. He would know what to do.
Best advised not to surf in Florida this holiday season even if you receive a new 8 ft soft-top surfboard under the Christmas tree.
More as the story develops.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
What a moronic article surely by moronic writer…you are an idiot
Who the fuck wrote this stupid article??
I always thought surfers were “so in tune” with the ocean. But these constant articles make it seem like they’re just as dumb and scared when it comes to the ocean as some desk jockey. Take up diving, and or spearfishing when you’re not on your board. You’ll learn 1000 times more about sharks than you will reading from BeachGrit
So Florida is either northern rednecks or southern Cubans… It could be worse, they could have the cheesy name Chas….
Breaking news….There are sharks in the ocean!!!!!! More as the story develops.
Don’t worry! Sleep easy! I’ll keep on top of all the breaking action.
So to conclude: a writer who’s never
once read anything about sharks and has only seen Hollywood nonsense. How can people get paid for such nonsense? I hope no one read this in hope of actual news and instead wanted to read fan fiction for the latest sharknado.
But I am in love with the magnificent “man-eating” Great White. Are you not?
The largest white shark ever photographed is off the coast of Oahu. Reported to be a 20′ pregnate female and the scientist said she feared some surfers might just end up being pupus for the big fish.That’s a tasty Hawaiian snack. Natures solution is Killer Whales, White Sharks are Killer Whales favorite food and flee in absolute fear when the top predator of the food chain arrives.
Off the west coast of Florida is a shallow continental shelf that extents out for many miles. Most of the large marine animals remain in deeper water. Alas, there are of course exceptions, but I would think the danger of encountering a large Great White near shore is fairly remote. Large ones have been caught 20 or 30 miles offshore.
That’s all I wanted to know. How far out have they ” pinged” to give a general idea of their usual migration.
“redneck”… wow. How about a little less racism. The term is unacceptable, plain and simple.
Well…
You could hardly call a great white a n….., couldn’t you?
Redneck is not a race. …so, “Wow” how about a little less fake outrage, and more accuracy. The term is commonly used by rednecks to identify themselves quite proudly, and contrary to being at all offended, they could give a rats ass about your virtue signalling fake offendedness on their behalf. I don’t deliberately mean to offend anyone, but other than that, go fuck yourself.
I would break you in two in a heartbeat if you had the intestinal fortitude to say that to my face you keyboard warrior… I’m from Panama City Beach, Florida, aka, the “Redneck Riviera”. I find the term derogatory and offensive. That in-and-of-itself renders your diatribe as bovine feces. A printed publication should not use the term whatsoever. No different than Spic, Nigger, Chink, Whop, Gook, Kike, ect.
Someone’s gone a bit overboard on their ‘manscaping’.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Up and running.
The names suggest they are home schooled.
Who wrote this ? Or who approved it ? Sounds like someone who does not surf or even swim in the ocean. How about educate us on their last or latest positions located. Sounds more like you’re writing a Sharknado movie .
Stick around, you’ll fit right in.
Sharknado movie? high praise indeed
Chas Smith, our leader wrote this. And approved it. He is a surfer, thereby he does not swim in the ocean, like a child does. And he clearly gave us the man eaters latest positions in the article!
4 of em off Jacksonville and 2 off the southwest part of Florida. You sound like a sick pervert with a shark fetish who dreams of fondling baby sharks!!
You sir, are hereby designated an
ENEMY OF THE OCEAN!!!
Thanks kneehurt. I am a surfer , an East Coast Florida surfer. Merely stating that the article seemed less scientific and more Hollywood. Sorry if I offended anyone . Sheesh.
And I have no idea what your twisted comment about baby sharks is all about.
And by the way, I am involved in many of our local ocean and beach conservation projects throughout Palm Beach County.
I agree with you. The references “man eater” and “menace” are the reason they’re unnecessarily killed but then to suggest they have some kind of strategy planned. Give me a break. They’re just doing what they’ve always done. I agree with making the public aware but better choice of words.
Thankyou.
That’s nothing compared to the ATTACK OF THE Penis Fish:
https://www.theguardian.com…
How did you go to penises from a story on Great Whites ?
According to the ‘paper’ I read in the morning Californian beaches are covered in penis fish. It seems Chas is covering up this story in order make sure the sun always shines in Cali and to shame sharks and/or rednecks*.
*I’m from Queensland and know a) how to use the term appropriately, and b) that Queensland is a sister state.
Thanks bro… . I just saw the story an hour ago. Bizarre.
All I got from that headline was ‘tickle’.
In retrospect:
The Freshwater Pro.
Can’t wait to hear Chas’ rendition of that Holiday classic “I’m Scheming of a White Christmas”.
Or my other favorite,
Here Comes Santa Jaws, Here Comes Santa Jaws, Right Down Santa Jaws (Steamer) Lane…
Don’t you reckon if you were named Hudson, and your buddy was named Ironbound, you’d be a little pissed off?
oh good, a jaws I can relate to.
Shouldn’t you be watching Peahi, too? Or at least baking another cake? Maybe organic with fair trade chocolate frosting to keep it positive for ELo’s taste buds?