Clinton, pictured, making rude comments about surfers.
Clinton, pictured, making rude comments about surfers.

Virulently “anti-surfer” Hillary Clinton releases new four part documentary; Tees off on Bernie Sanders and his “bros!”

"They can do it to anybody."

Now we all know that politics and surfing don’t often mix, no? Oh the two are very much oil and water but we can also agree that if ever there was a virulently “anti-surfer” politician, it was/is erstwhile presidential candidate and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

Of course you recall how the one-time senator from New York, a state not known for being overly friendly to our kind, possibly “severed off” two of surf journalist Liz Crokin’s ten fingers.

You also certainly remember how she just called the only surfer in the United States House of Representatives and only politician to ever appear on Ain’t That Swell Tulsi Gabbard a “Russian asset.

Well, in a new documentary she is going hard after Bernie Sanders and his “Bernie Bros” and let’s read her hurtful talk in a just-released interview promoting a new four-part Hulu documentary.

“He was in Congress for years. He had one senator support him. Nobody likes him, nobody wants to work with him, he got nothing done,” Clinton said in the documentary. “He was a career politician. It’s all just baloney and I feel so bad that people got sucked into it.”

“I will say, however, that it’s not only him, it’s the culture around him. It’s his leadership team. It’s his prominent supporters. It’s his online ‘Bernie Bros’ and their relentless attacks on lots of his competitors, particularly the women. And I really hope people are paying attention to that because it should be worrisome that he has permitted this culture — not only permitted, [he] seems to really be very much supporting it.”

Now, I assume the Bernie Bros, per Ms. Clinton’s record, are exactly like surf bros. Like, “Hey, bro, saw that sick little nugget…Hey, bro, don’t paddle on me…” and feel very badly that we are getting drug through this dirt.

But do you also feel bad or do political attacks roll off your back like water off a shark’s?

Also, with no professional surf contest on the horizon, will you watch and enjoy the new Hulu documentary?

More as the story develops.


Shark bites surfer.
Shark bites surfer.

Revealed: Surfers account for vast majority of world’s unprovoked shark attacks, attracting the apex predators by “splashing” and “wiping out!”

We're number 1!

We’re number 1, we’re number 1 and don’t tell me you don’t have a warm glow in your chest right now, emanating outward, feeling real nice. Don’t tell me you aren’t proud as punch because when was the last time we were number 1 in anything? Our industry has been decimated, climate change is chewing through our communities and/or burning them to the ground, Kelly Slater will soon retire and then no one will even know what surfing is anymore full stop.

Not even after it’s “huge” Olympic debut.

But today we’re number 1 as it was just revealed in the Yearly Worldwide Shark Attack Summary.

Today we are proud as punch and let’s read the section pertaining to our singular glories, what we do better than all ocean-going folk combined.

Following recent trends, surfers and those participating in board sports accounted for most incidents (53% of the total cases). This group spends a large amount of time in the surf zone, an area commonly frequented by sharks, and may unintentionally attract sharks by splashing, paddling, and “wiping out.” Swimmers and waders accounted for 25% of incidents, with remaining incidents divided between snorkelers/free divers (11%), body-surfers (8%), and scuba divers (3%).

It makes much sense that sharks don’t like to be splashed.

To be quite honest, I don’t like to be splashed either especially when my eyes are open and the splashed water hits one of them with some velocity. It hurts and, if I recall in my nearly finished graduate degree in shark behaviors, the man-eating beasts don’t have eyelids.

In any case, I’m proud of us and we all deserve to take the rest of the day off.

Go surfing, get attacked, smile.

Today is ours.


Italo Ferreira: “The Olympics is something gigantic for surfing seeing as just a few years ago it was seen as a sport for bums!”

I'll pack my bags, I guess.

Our new world champ is wonderful, bright, effervescent, magnetic, handsome, talented, fun, funny, has a beautiful better half, progressive, snappy, happy, glorious, grand but he said something today that made me very sad.

That put a tear in my eye.

I’m having trouble seeing right now, with that tear, so let’s just go to Reuters. Let’s allow the news organization to give you the details.

On Wednesday, freshly crowned surfing world champion Italo Ferreira sliced through steep, fast-barreling waves off Rio de Janeiro’s Leblon beach and popped several feet into the air.

On the shore, dozens of young fans cheered and shouted as the soft-spoken native of Brazil’s impoverished northeast carved effortlessly through the swell. Most had arrived – parents in tow – for a skimboarding clinic, a close cousin of surfing where riders focus on small waves close to shore.

For Ferreira, one of two surfers set to represent Brazil at the sport’s Olympic debut in Japan this summer, scenes like this help explain how the sport, after decades of trying, finally scored a spot at the Games.

“(The Olympics) is something gigantic for surfing, seeing as just a few years ago, surfing was seen as a sport for bums,” said Ferreira, after exiting the water, signing autographs and snapping photos with fans.

Surfing is no longer a sport for bums?

No?

Well…

First they came for the standard thrusters, and I did not speak out—
Because I did not ride a standard thruster.

Then they came for the men who wear below-the-knee boardshorts, and I did not speak out—
Because I did not wear below-the-knee boardshorts.

Then they came for the Hurley team riders, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Hurley team rider.

Then they came for the bums—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Weeping.

Weeping openly.


"Colleagues and co-workers, Italo JUST won!"
"Colleagues and co-workers, Italo JUST won!"

Scientific Study: Watching surf contests online while at work helps employees “cope with exceptionally stressful environments” thereby increasing productivity!

Let them eat cyberloaf!

Science is a tricky, tricky son-of-a-gun. One minute we think we have something all figured out. Think we know real hard facts, like going to work, flipping on the computer, heading to BeachGrit, chatting with best friends in the comments or – even better – watching a full eight hours of online surf contest while getting paid to do something else (read: work) is devious, at best. Lightly criminal, at second best.

The next minute we learn that BeachGritting, Wozzling, Instagramming Kelly Slater then getting involved in flat-earth debates just to get the GOAT’s goat is not only healthy but increases employee productivity.

Whoa!

But true?

Let’s waste time deciding for ourselves. Let’s dig straight in to the Chicago Sun Times and sort the pieces out together.

If you’re like most workers, you don’t spend 100% of your time at the office doing what you’re supposed to be doing.

In fact, on average, U.S. workers spend about 10% of their work day surfing the internet, emailing friends or shopping online. This so-called cyberloafing costs employers up to US$85 billion a year.

But it turns out, these behaviors may not be a sign a worker is lazy or just wasting time. New research I conducted with several colleagues suggests cyberloafing can help workers cope with an exceptionally stressful work environment.

Existing research on cyberloafing, a term first coined in 2002 by researchers from the National University of Singapore, typically assumes that this behavior is problematic and counterproductive.

Therefore, the majority of cyberloafing research focuses on ways to deter employees from engaging in this behavior through interventions such as internet monitoring and computer use policies.

However, more recent research has found that using the internet at work for personal purposes may also have some positive outcomes. For instance, social media use at work has been linked to higher levels of employee engagement and job satisfaction.

And other studies indicate that cyberloafing may provide a way for employees to manage workplace stress. For instance, empirical research suggest that employees surf the web as a response to boredom and unclear instructions.

But is cyberloafing actually effective at reducing employee stress levels?

Blah, blah, blah… study, study, study.

Overall, about 65% of participants reported spending at least some time at work cyberloafing, in mostly moderate amounts, with the most common form being the use of personal email.

While we did not directly assess how cyberloafing affects worker performance, we believe that by relieving stress this buffering effect may ultimately help employees be more productive. This fits with other recent research that suggests taking short breaks throughout the work day is indirectly associated with higher levels of daily job performance.

And there we have it.

Science, amiright?

Where’s your favorite place to cyberloaf?

Should BeachGrit bake and sell actual cyberloafs?

How would they be flavored?

Very exciting.


Urbnsurf, not today.

Extreme weather: Australia’s climate change apocalypse forces Melbourne wave pool to close!

"Australia today is ground zero for the climate catastrophe."

Hell of a summer for Australia’s east coast.

An apocalypse of fire and brimstone and skies so red with smoke and debris The New York Times headlined an opinion piece, “Australia is committing climate suicide: As record fires rage, the country’s leaders seem intent on sending it to its doom.

Opening line: “Australia today is ground zero for the climate catastrophe.”

But what seemed a little hyperbolic now appears prophetic with today’s closure of the country’s first commercial wave pool, Urbnsurf, near Melbourne’s Tullamarine airport, after its gorgeous azure waters were turned brown by extreme weather.

“First it was the hazardous smoke haze, then golf ball-sized hail and flooding rain. Now Melburnians are scratching their heads at dirty orange swimming pools and sludge-coated cars, clothes and outdoor furniture,” reports The Age

Dust from storms in the country town of Mallee, five hundred k’s north, had drifted south and, last night, mixed with rain over Melbourne and fell as mud.

From Urbnsurf:

Due to a severe rain and dust storm that hit Melbourne late last night, @urbnsurf will unfortunately be closed today, 23 January 2020. Our guests’ health and safety is paramount, so our dedicated facilities crew have been working around the clock to return our lagoon to its crystal-blue norm.

If you’ve booked a sesh, you’ll get a pool credit and three years to redeem it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7oo4n6HKHU/

Is the end truly nigh?

When even man-made waves are forced to bow before the might of the climate change juggernaut?

Are we staring into the pit of death?

Etc.