Trojan Oars: Standup Journal celebrates “roar of approval throughout surf industry” over Erik Logan’s “anointing” as new WSL CEO!

By Chas Smith

5 years ago

Smack.

First they came for Laird Hamilton and we did not speak out because we did not like Laird Hamilton. Then they came for lakes and ponds etc. and we did not speak out because who cares about those weird little bodies of boring water where diseases of the eye etc. flourish? Then they came for our ocean’s waves and we all just mostly glared and muttered to each other with the odd extra loud grunt being directed toward those standing in our midst. Pretty ineffective, to be honest. Then they came for our World Surf League and there was nothing left to say because we had proven ourselves easily conquerable and generally weak-willed.

A standup paddleboarder in charge. A standup paddleboarder as professional surfing’s visionary leader, our Chief Executive and Lord Commander. A standup paddleboarder pulling all the strings.

A standup paddleboarder.

But how did Erik Logan celebrate his evisceration of our most cherished ideals? His bending us right over and smacking our bared bottoms with a high-tech, carbon fiber oar?

By going to Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, of course.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B89Ip0bALh8/

And here we see professional surfing’s visionary new leader, our Chief Executive and Lord Commander, using that same high-tech, carbon fiber oar to stall poignantly for Kelly’s li’l barrel. Mocking us in ways we haven’t been mocked since Point Break II.

And here we read the Standup Journal’s account of the moment when the most aberrant, most bastardized, form of wave sliding came to destroy and maim us all.

Erik Logan finds a little time off in the shade of Kelly Slater’s surf ranch on his #blurrv2 by @infinity_sup in Lemoore, CA. Erik’s recent transition from President if OWN to the newly anointed CEO of the WSL has created a roar of approval throughout the surf industry. Elo, we salute you! Follow your dreams, folks. @wsl #infinitysup #eloforpresident #surfranch #wavesfordays #supsurf #greenroom #shred #shredmaster #infinityspeedfreaks #madeintheshade #supsurfer #perfectglass #ripping

The Standup Journal.

“The premiere stand up paddle magazine on the world: It’s a lifestyle choice.”

Not my lifestyle choice, nor yours, but here we are, wetsuits around ankles, the sound of carbon fiber against bared bottom filling the air.

Smack.

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Ozzie Wrong

Surf Magazine Editor’s anti-oil drilling campaign forces “Norwegian Scumbags” to scrap $200-million plan to mine in the Great Australian Bight!

By surf ads

5 years ago

A glorious win? Yes?

Big news in the surfers vs corpo overlord files today.

If you frequent social media you’d be familiar with the #fightforthebight campaign that’s been waged against Norwegian resources company, Equinor.

The Nords wanted to extract oil deep below the seafloor of the Great Australian Bight marine park, a couple hundred clicks off the South Australian coastline, in one of the wildest and most pristine environments you’ll find anywhere on earth.

A $200m project to deepwater drill in the conservation-listed area.

Funny thing is, Equinor could have maybe snuck under the radar with their plans if it wasn’t for a self-inflicted PR blunder, an own goal, that saw them release a map showing every possible oil spill dispersion from the proposed site, based off all the conceivable combinations of wind, swell, ocean current etc.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BuHY8FjHOrW/

When looked at without context it appeared that a single spill would sully the waters from Port Macquarie in the east to Albany in the west, all at once. In American terms, that’d be from North Carolina to Baja.

Immediately the strategic initiative was lost.

That single image galvanised a groundswell of public support, led by former Tracks editor Sean Doherty and South Oz core lord Heath Joske.

Everyone from Taj Burrow to fastidiously manicured eco-warrior-influencers got behind the push, along with a bunch of NGOs. There were insta shares, IRL paddle outs across the affected areas. It was even successfully weaponised as a local issue in last year’s federal election.

The campaign worked.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8-ASbHn0Ac/

Equinor said in a statement today that it has pulled out of the project for economic reasons after a “holistic view of its exploration portfolio.”

The Australian government ain’t happy.

Its wonderfully named resources minister, Keith Pitt, had recently doubled down on his predecessor’s love for the project and the sector in general, declaring Australia’s doors open for business to offshore oil and gas.

For him this withdrawal is a hit to the economy.

Jobs, growth ‘n all that.

You won’t see any such sad faces from me though.

I reckon it’s a great win. What grass-roots political action should look like.

You can make your jibes about surfers and their carbon footprints, burn your smartphones if you wanna be a greenie etc.

It’s a strawman argument.

Things ain’t black and white.

The resource sector is still an important part of the economy, but it needs to be managed in an environmentally sustainable way.

Deepwater drilling in a marine national park ain’t that.

This is a good outcome.

A couple of Qs were shot to Doherty but there was no response at the time of writing, assuming the gloried surf writer slash activist is enjoying a celebratory beer or three.

What do you think?

Is it a glorious win for surfers and the environment?

Or self-sabotage from a bunch of dewy eyed hypocrites during a time of increasing economic uncertainty?

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Watch: “Vulnerable” 10-foot Great White shark circles small fishing boat while keeping hungry eyes on nearby surfers!

By Chas Smith

5 years ago

We're going to need a bigger butt.

Once upon a time, “man-eating” Great White sharks were nearly unheard of off New Zealand’s Middle Earth-esque coast. Certainly there were Bronze Whalers, Giant Basking sharks, the tiny Pygmy sharks and Frodo Gogganses but no Great Whites. The country bled black. Only black. All black.

Well the only constant is change, as climate scientists love to say, and the apex predator is now everywhere in New Zealand, turning the waters a sickly shade of grey.

How could you forget the “Smack Bang in the Eye” heard around the world?

The “Big Fat Guy” who tried to take a blushing Great White to his goggans hole?

The fact that a probably mass extinction event is likely underway right now, near Aukland City, and I’m not talking Coronavirus?

All grey indeed.

And the very latest, a 10-foot Great White came up from the depths startling two young fishermen. Shall we gather their account first hand from another source? It’s the shark-cum-surf journalist way.

The early morning glassy water on the outskirts of Anzac Bay, north of Tauranga, was the perfect time and place to head out and go fishing.

But the kingfish on the minds of Katikati’s 19-year-old Ryan Crapp and his friend Scott quickly turned to a 3.5m great white shark.

The pair had bait fish trailing the boat and Crapp thought the fish “darting everywhere” was a sign they were in for a catch.

“At first I thought, sweet, there’s some kingfish hanging around and then I saw the fin pop up and thought it was a pesky old bronze whaler (shark).”

“Oh s***, that’s a great white,” he said when he saw the shark’s distinct white underbelly and facial features.

The boys weren’t scared, clearly, but the surfers paddling across this very stretch to a nearby break certainly would have been had they seen the same distinct white underbelly and facial features. They would have been scared then likely playing one-arm’d basketball. One-leg’d rugby.

The region’s various scientists were interested/thrilled by the sighting as it was so rare and the species is listed as “vulnerable” but they clearly don’t read BeachGrit and clearly aren’t aware of the coming end.

Very scary.

The crunch of bones etc.

Watch here.

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Watch: Couple brutally arrested on Mexico beach for allegedly refusing to purchase, enjoy cocktails!

By Chas Smith

5 years ago

Surfers Paradise.

It sometimes feels like our kind, our nasty surfing kind, is nearing extinction. Laws against punching people in the face who drop in, punching them in the neck when they paddle too close, throwing rocks at people who aren’t local, flipping a board over and bashing the fins right out, menacing and causing a general nuisance now cover most beaches.

Hunted.

We’re being hunted into extinction but thankfully there’s a beach in Mexico holding on to our values. Our way of life for just this past weekend a couple was arrested for refusing to get lit and let’s hurry to Fox News for a fair and balanced take on the incident.

On Sunday, a man and woman were handcuffed by police at Mamitas Beach Club in Playa del Carmen for hanging out on the shore, but not purchasing anything from the club’s bar.

In the clip, a group of police is seen surrounding the couple as they pack up their belongings in a towel. The woman resists being handcuffed and cries, while her shirtless partner seemingly complies with the authorities.

According to The Sun, local media reported that the beach club alleges to exclusively own the portion of the beach area where the tourists were arrested, though locals have argued that the beach is federal property where all are welcome.

“The beaches in Mexico are NOT private Mamitas Beach, they are [for] all Mexicans. Enough of treating nationals like trash!” the Twitter user who posted the arrest video said.

The woman was reportedly left bleeding from the forceful arrest, The Sun reports.

Well, I don’t understand what the trouble is and think many more beaches should adopt the Mamitas attitude and force visitors to purchase, enjoy cocktails. Imagine what a glorious scene Snapper would turn into if forced alcohol was part of the price. Imagine Malibu after a three drink minimum.

We’d be free once again.

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Celebrate: Noosa joins Santa Cruz, Manly Beach as world’s tenth “Surfing Reserve!”

By Chas Smith

5 years ago

Glide!

As surfers, as Co-Waterpersons of the Year in waiting, we know how important the ocean’s waves are to our overall way of life. Without them we’d be but clanging gongs. But YouTube sensation Ben Gravies sliding down funny little boat wakes and storm gutters and whatnots having the absolute times of our lives but… not really surfing.

Oh, I take absolutely nothing away from Ben Gravy, he is our world’s happy smile, but… the ocean’s waves are why most of us do what we do. Why we wake up early, get cold on purpose etc.

Thankfully, there is a way to honor the waves that mean something… more. Waves that have imprinted themselves, indelibly, on our psyches.

In 2009, “Save The Waves Coalition, along with key partners National Surfing Reserves (NSR) Australia and the International Surfing Association (ISA), launched World Surfing Reserves. The program serves as a global model for preserving wave breaks and their surrounding areas by recognizing and protecting the key environmental, cultural, economic and community attributes of surfing areas.”

Very fine.

It is a lengthy process to have a wave, or region I suppose, declared a World Surf Reserve. Applications and voting etc. but yesterday Noosa there on Australia’s Sunshine Coast joined the ranks of Malibu, Ericeria, Manly Beach, Santa Cruz, Huanchaco, Bahia de Todos Santos, Australia’s Gold Coast, Punta de Lobos and Guarda do Embaú to become the tenth World Surfing Reserve.

“Noosa has always been leading the way on how to protect surf ecosystems and critical coastal habitats proactively and simultaneously benefit local people and the economy,” said Nik Strong-Cvetich, executive director of Save The Waves.

Layne Beachley and Noosa’s mayor were on hand to celebrate the declaration, the day, and bravo Noosa.

Now, are there any places we should push as a World Surfing Reserve/

What about where World Surf League CEO and Lord Commander over The Wall of Positive Noise Erik Logan cut his supping teeth?

Manhattan Beach, California.

Can we all get behind this?

Yes?

Or Surf Ranch, Lemoore?

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Eat beach grit spam!