"I will be the Oskar Schindler of California surfers..."
Last night California’s Governor, Gavin Newsom, extended the Bay Area’s draconian “shelter in place” law to the entirety of the state. I was in bed watching the new season of Westworld when I read the news and do you like? I found season one entirely enjoyable but fell off during season two once the cowboy motif transitioned into industrial sci-fi which surprised me. I enjoy westerns from time to time, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid being one of my favorite movies ever, but don’t necessarily consider myself an aficionado and will generally prefer a dystopian tale to a cowboy one. Well, the show lost its oomph once the cowboys went away, I felt, but I was willing to give it another go and so there I was watching the new season when I read Gavin Newsom’s “shelter in place” edict.
“Shelter in place?” I wondered. “What does that actually mean?”
According to Time magazine:
People should stay in their homes unless they need to leave for “essential” activities and work. The mandate went into effect on March 17 and will continue until at least April 7. The order details that violating the mandate is a misdemeanor punishable by fine, imprisonment or both.
“Hmmmm.” I thought while feeling selfishly gleeful. From my reading it essentially outlaws surfing unless it can be categorized as “work.” Being a surf journalist, the act is, of course, fundamental to my profession and I pictured being out there alone, catching any wave I wanted, shouting a friendly hello to the surfboard shaper the next peak over as I imagine he can count surfing as fundamental to his profession too.
R & D etc.
But then something miraculous happened in my imagination.
I missed you.
I missed silently criticizing the way you wax your board all OCD-like. Missed being jealous of your turns. Missed glaring at you when I paddled back out after my own personal wave of the winter. Missed the annoyed sigh we share when a SUP strokes into our midst.
Then I had an idea. A wonderful idea that will bring you back to the lineup. You can be a surf journalist too. You can “write” for BeachGrit.
So here’s the deal*. If you’re out for a California surf and a police officer tries to fine you or imprison you for being outside your shelter, tell him or her that you are a surf journalist who writes for BeachGrit and in the middle of researching an important story. I will vouch for you in any court of law.
A great, warm sensation of benevolence washed over me once my inspiration crystalized. “I will be the Oskar Schindler of California surfers…” I thought.
“…A legend in the annals of altruism.”
More as the story develops.
*Deal does not extend to SUPs, longboards or midlengths. No foils or Wavestorms either.
You are very correct re. cowboy dystopia and sent me into a mental spiral it took all day to pull from!
Hahaha! I’d love to see if this actually played out. Imagine how pissed the jerks would be who were trying to enforce that shit. I’m all for distancing and whatever, but most of us aren’t hugging and kissing in the lineup. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”
What if it’s a Devon Howard model CI mid-length? Will you vouch for me then?
It really did fall off a cliff in season 2 eh. I loved the first series though. Might have to revisit if lockdown comes.
What’s the new series like?
Just one episode in…. the future stuff looks cool but I’m semi over the storyline already.
Same experience here. Found myself totally disinterested and bored with it. Seemed to be redundant and self indulgent. Not sure if I want to invest the time in it again, although I do like Aaron Paul. Maybe he’ll make it more interesting.
I used to work at Davey. Is that what you meant? It’s a tree care co.
If Chas shows up at your defense hearing, is there any chance a sane judge lets’ you off? Accept this offer at your own peril.
What we should all be doing is streaming ‘Trouble: The Lisa Andersen Story’ in the safety of our homes, now available on Amazon Prime Video…
Loads of people ignored the the ban initially here (Peru). Yesterday the police grabbed about 5 guys from my beach to make an example…they kept them in the cells for 4 hours.
Talk of fines and board confiscations next
Bloody ridiculous nazi coppers
Welcome to the world skateboarders have lived in since the beginning…
What about little press passes to print out and display?
Heck when I was at high school I was a bit of a master forger and would write notes from parents excusing their kids from school (for a fee).
My piece de resistance was a line of fake ID’s using letraset and a laminator to enable underage drinking.
Aahhh, those were the days haha
i was under the impression (or perhaps misinterpretation) that outdoor exercise was acceptable as long as following the rules of engagement ie…social distancing. My local was less crowded than the usual hamma jang traffic jam, but there was still a fair crowd, all 6 feet apart of course. I am curious, will there ever be an official ruling on this? I am a Surf Photographer so Chas, may I have a beach Grit Press Pass?
@sonofabishopphotography on insta
They will be available in the store soon!
K I hope it get me outta sketchy situations when the MP’s get the crosshairs on my back as I hitting a lip 😂
You are correct, this is the official word: (from https://corona-virus.la/faq)
I went surfing in the rain Tuesday anticipating that a lockdown was coming very soon in Los Angeles, ironically surfing is one of the few things I can go out for now.
Safer at Home, Safer in the Surf! But let’s keep this between you and me, and not have Chas blab about it to everyone in the state…
upvote for using the classic Hawaiian pidgin word “hammajang”
🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽
This is fucken brilliant. There was some chatter Thursday between sunny peaks about how to manipulate any future lockdown here in Aus and stay in the water, it usually pumps around Easter! I plan on driving around with my work ID, hiding my board somehow and saying I’m on my way to a shift. Essential that I do this activity to stay sane, and therefore be able to work. Will DR be offering Schindler protections us down here also?
For sure. Derek will even house you in one of his one bedrooms.
Bondi! .. and with all those trapped backpackers too.. score!
That include a tuck in?
This article got me moist in the eyes (and down there too). I know it is the current trend to tear Chas a new one especially when he writes a shark article even tho alls he is really doing is trying to clear the lineups for us by ending his articles with something like “the safest thing would be to just stop surfing everwhere”. And now he misses folks and is willing to put his unfortunate neck out for Gritters. His love for you is Schindler like. Just for you tho, he’d prolly gas chamber elo and turdpile, and he would not be all wrong. Ps I wish you BGs would road trip up to the Pacific Northwest part of Ca. I’ll thankfully share some previously empty waves and uncracked beers for some laughs that you all are supplying daily.
What’s the official size of a ‘midlength’ ?
Since I’m getting one that’s 6’10 I’m gonna say 7’0 and up.
Sweet as
My regular board size is up to 6’9″ in both pointy and fuller nosed designs so that’s all good
Cheers
What if I’m using webbed gloves for better paddling?
Only Trump congratulates himself more than this typist.
Chas is all about Chas….we’re just along for the ride..
Chas is serving The People!
Chas – a true leader for the common (surfer) man.
I wish I had one of those crying Jordy air fresheners hangin’ in my car to back up my story.
Time to buy….
what if you’re surfing in your ‘need essential’ wetsuit?
Then you have a voucher.
USA Olympic Swimmers have announced request to US Olympic Committee that they push for postponement of Tokyo Olympics.
How can Olympic Surfers, or better yet the WSL be so unprogressively responsive to this foreign Wuhan Chinese Kung-Flu Virus? Was the WSL hoping to declare the Olympic Gold Medalist the 2020 WSL World Champ? No Plan C?
Maybe the new Chinese national champ, Hoo Flung Dung…
did he wrote the novel “Yellow River”?
Good morning Vodka, how DO you do?
Excellent hand sanitizer
Not as good as soap.