It's a whole new world!
Our surfboard builders, our blue-collar heroes, put their very health at risk every single day so that we can have much pleasure. Oh we’re not like the World Surf League or Kelly Slater. We don’t have to build a massive wave pool in a drought-stricken desert and call it “environmentally sustainable.” We don’t have to lie to ourselves for we know that surfing is toxic both metaphorically and truly.
Toxic attitudes, toxic chemicals, toxic foams, odors, cleaning products, painting products, glassing products etc.
No sane mother would ever encourage her child to shape surfboards. She would rather her son take up the gigolo life as a healthier alternative. She would prefer her daughter stripping at clubs in the industrial part of town.
But Coronavirus has tipped our crazy globe upside down and who wears a fancy gas mask every day at the office?
Surfboard builders.
Who self-isolates in small rooms, alone, wearing a fancy gas mask?
Surfboard builders.
Who has a cranky, generally misanthropic attitude while wearing a fancy gas mask?
Surfboard builders.
Yes, surfboard builders will be one of the few classes of worker who survive this Coronavirus Zombie Apocalypse and I have no doubt mothers are instructing their children right now not to go back to school when those doors eventually swing wide. I have no doubt those same mothers will winking at any surfboard builder they see strutting down the street, gearing up for a future mate.
Oh.. OK Boomer https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
AMAZING article, thank you. Great writing and super insightful. BeachGrit rules!!!!!!!!!
How’s the quarantine going, Chas and when does the new book release happen?
It’s perfect! Rainy, cold, ideal! And book comes out in July… hopefully people will still be around then.
Xlnt! I hear vodka and cocaine kill the virus as well as a superb time killing measure
So fuckin sick!
https://youtu.be/_nGsT_qFMBs
Aah. They supported Sonic Youth in Honolulu, early ‘93, post-Iniki daze. Great fricken show.
I seen Mark Arm out in the lineup out here a few times. Shreds the gueetar and the surfboard.
So, does that mean board prices will drop? As supplies start to outweigh demand……..
Shapers are slack cunts, mate.
As soon as orders drop off they fuck about doing stuff all.
Useless.
“Useless.”
I missed my true calling.
CB, have your mainstream Hurluluey but segment the market, mate.
That poseur Dane Reynolds and former pffft
Useless has legs mate.
Ozzie Rong can surf ok but his art sux – useless.
Vaughan dead can’t sing or surf – useless.
Most surfers can’t work 8 eight hours but expect a trip to the Ments for turning up. Useless
It’s core as.
How nice it must be to get paid to swan about like wanker just because you can throw yer arse aboot on a board of some type, in a pleasing manner.
Here I am in the office at 12:3-fucking8 in the am because I’ve got the “I don’t want to be fired due to Covid-19 economic slowdowns” fear.
You call punching cones and talking mystical shit fuck all do ya? Pfft ok then.
In the live music-less times of my Abu Dhabi stint, there weren’t many opportunities to enjoy live music. There was the odd occasion of enjoying Motorhead, Metallica and Iron Maiden, (not on the same bill), but other than that it was slim pickings. As a result, I would often end up at shows you wouldn’t go near with some else’s 50′ stick. Either the Grands Prix would have an attached show as part of the entertainment after the racing was done, or shows that didn’t sell well would give away tickets to get a crowd. The point being that I saw a few performers I wouldn’t have other than they were there.
Some were positive experiences. While I may not have liked the music so much, I could appreciate them as a show. Madonna and even Coldplay were good examples of this. They knew how to engage the crowd. Britney was the other end of the spectrum. Her show, in her ‘comeback from breakdown’ phase was easily in the Top 3 worst evers for me. When you can’t sell the miming to recorded vocals gig to fans, let alone doubting Thomases like me, you’re in for a bad night. She would get tired from the dancing, so would kind of give up halfway through and leave it do her dance team. Even then you could see her struggling to ‘sing’ and breathe the songs.
One of the other bands in the Top 3 worst evers was The Cult. Saw them at Selina’s in Sydney and it was horrible. Ian Astbury was wasted, abusive and a shambles. Walked out, did not enjoy. Saw them at one of these freebie Grands Prix shows, and was pleasantly surprised. Obviously over the drug/alcohol issues and committed to putting a great show which they did. Finally got to enjoy ‘She Sells Sanctuary’ live. They were the support for some emo band (Incubus?) that just ironically put on a show that was reminiscent of The Cult’s Selina’s show. I walked out.
I did buy a Britney t-shirt though.
Eagerly awaiting the release of the BeachBrit x Hurluley range.
I’m not sure Hurluley even would touch Britney with yours.
But HRLLY has many more excitimonts (that’s French) to offer.
Come on. Look at this piece of art. Modeled by Roxie the Wonderdog.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
On you, it’s the epitome of ironic rock fashion.
Esp if you wear it onstage.
In my first punk rock excursion, I did wear a Bon Jovi t-shirt, although it did have cross-hairs penned on.
Sweet
Screech Brit
Have you invested in Astro’s AutoSqueal?
So true
The pop acts usually have a kick ass band live!
I’ve seen destiny’s child, rihanna, Gaga, Madonna, was pretty epic.
My mate and I would go to Selinas with a small tape recorder and after the gig approach babes of choice and pretend to be from triple j.
They used to get so excited to be interviewed.
The real excitement came later.
That’s much better than our old plan. Imagine pimply teens asking girls if they wanted to buy some heroin? And imagine how scared those teens would be when some girls actually said yes. That was the end of that experiment in social engagement. Ahhh, Bombay Rock in Surfers Paradise…
What an era!!!!!!!
Evan Dando is god. He do it good, and badly even better.
Ha. I have been fortunate to chat with Bill Gibson* a few times over the years. He has some, ahem, ‘interesting’ war stories of his times touring as a Lemonhead.
*Bill was the bass player for a seminal Australian band called The Eastern Dark. Unfortunately, on a tour to Melbourne to support the release of their first album, James Darroch, their lead singer/guitarist, was killed in a crash near the town of Yass. James was a founding member of the Celibate Rifles, and for various reasons, not least more creative control, left to form The Eastern Dark in an environment where he didn’t have to compete with the dominant personalities in the Rifles. James was always loved in the Rifles circles and in an interesting turn of events, Bill has been involved with Rifles quite a bit over the last 10 years or so. Mainly studio stuff, but has also performed live a few times, including singing a few songs at Damo’s tribute show last year. A great man.
I bet that Kent guy could be a real prick.
But Im only guessing
I think most artistes can have issues with people who aren’t on the same wave level at some point or another. I reckon both Damien and Kent were less likely to suffer fools as they aged. Not unlike myself on a good day.
The deadly Hume.
He’s got a song for a car ad on tele now.
Outdoor type
Cool song
Actually a Smudge song.
Great story Very interesting read, however you’ll probably want to told, Incubus are not an emo band.
Absolutely. I was more making the point that lead singer was acting like a surly emo kid. Also, the band may not have been Incubus. It was so bad I didn’t want to remember the name of the band.
It probably would have been them. They would have sounded very whiny and distorted live back in the day. I was never a fan. My nine year old daughter has just started to express an interest in Emo music, God help us.
My youngest (14) has shown an understanding of it, but fortunately seems to spend more time bagging the emos at school and doesn’t seem inclined to join them.
Britney’s meltdown was fascinating.
As the rich and corpulent fall and the global capitalist model crumbles, societies true masked heroes are revealed: cleaners, factory workers, nurses, surfboard shapers.
Brother, the proletariat rises!
Etc
And in a cruel twist of fate, Millenials kill all the Boomers. Inadvertently on purpose.
I have strong doubts that most millennials would have the stomach for it…
Who cares about their stomachs? Lungs are spreading it and boomers need to go by the millions
Dig the mass graves
Let the slaughter begin.
Death to everyone with money or a degree, or anyone really.
Shame … been nice knowing you