Break out the celebratory methamphetamine!
Let’s just take for granted that the Coronavirus Pandemic of 2019 has thrown the entire world off its axis, and along with it, our World Surf League. Let’s just assume there will be no 2020 World Tour. Let’s just factor there may be a few events but no “series.”
No “league.”
Except every year needs a champion and this year belongs to Nat Young.
How?
Why?
Due an abundance of caution, of course, seeing as it’s our World Surf League’s new motto.
And Nat Young, longtime professional surfer, Santa Cruz local, blonde, snagged a precious top ten finish in the last professional surfing event of the calendar year likely, in Australia’s Sydney Surf Pro and might currently lead the World Qualifying Series.
Either him or Australia’s Matt Banting.
I can’t tell.
Who can?
Whichever the case, we need a champion and give me a coherent reason why Nat Young ain’t it.
Sure, there will be discussions and asterisks. Certainly there always are in pandemic shortened years.
Nat Young as 2020 champion.
Or Matt Banting.
Either/Or.
Nat Young.
But who in 2021?
I’m jet lagged and can’t do math.
Or think.
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Forget these nebulous discussions about imaginary 2020 champions. The solution to this situation is simplicity itself: let The Wozzle hold a season’s worth of WCT contests in whatever time remains after the Coronavirus hysteria has passed. That’s right surf fans: maybe two contests a month between June and December? This would bring some excitement back to the WSL, no? And the BG Commentariat would be on fire, with its invaluable insights! Win/win.
Damn right. If they can finish a shark-bitten Margs contest at Ulus they can do anything…the Wossle can do anything!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Surf contests on Mars?
Surely one of the first priorities for a Mars colony is a wavepool. Terraforming is just too damn time-consuming. Right?
MERaforming.
I vote for Laird Hamilton to be 2020 wave lord for getting “more critical than everyone else” towed into fat, open ocean swells stapped to his double ended, foil-equipped strap on.
I had decided to take this time of quarantine and pandemonium to research all of the wonderful things on the web i had scoffed at prior to this pandemic. I dove into the first 2 minutes of WSL’s “Transformed”. and by minute 3 i had realized not only the deafness of tone the WSL was operating with, but i had unconsciously written the first paragraph of my suicide note on my forearm with a discarded spork from McDonalds. Thank you Elo…. you have given my life purpose…. to end it. Farewell cruel world!!
“you have given my life purpose…. to end it.”
Particularly good Sir!
Ryan Callinan is the highest ranked CT surfer so surely the crown is his, though (almost CT’er) Leo Fio could have a case to argue with highest points from a single comp…
CJ so he can have two titles* and finally have some validation.
“With an abundance of caution.” Thought you were describing Nats contest surfing and thus why he is worthy, even more than Jordy.
Might as well declare conman and fraudulent “pro surfer” Frank Chenault rookie of the year while your at it.
Declare all top 526 QS/CT places as joint participatory winners. Because you know, when they are spreading the aloha of surfing and having fun, we are all winners.
Maybe that’s right…. cause, anyone that’s surfing and having fun is a winner (right)— so maybe we are ‘all’ winners……. or— maybe–we are all just surfers— no winners or losers….. just surfers— riding waves— being stoked……..
Thought I’d banned you Freerider?
If you didn’t before, now may be a good time to do so.