As panic sets in to a world under siege by invisible bug, one surfer stands tall…
I doubt, by now, if I have to press upon you the bona fides of surf historian Matt Warshaw, a former surfer who is currently confined at home in Seattle, Washington.
A peerless writer, researcher, thinker, owner of The Encyclopedia of Surfing, the very thread, no, the single thread, that holds surf culture together in the face of the WSL’s VAL onslaught.
On matters concerning the sport’s atrophying culture, there is no one else to turn to.
If you’ve yet to drink from his fountain, dip into,
“I FIND IT PURIFYING THAT MEDINA GOES ABOUT HIS WORK WITH SO FEW FUCKS GIVEN!”
“WE’VE TRADED MAGIC FOR PERFECTION!”
In today’s weekly EOS mail-out, where his subscribers are treated to one thousand seamless words on whatever topics Warshaw has been into that week and in the face of the Coronavirus pandemic, he writes,
In exchange for you guys cutting me some slack, I make this offer: if anybody out there in EOS-land takes enough of a hit during the impending economic plunge that your subscription becomes a burden, let me know and I’ll pick up the cost until things get better.
I will continue to pull frivolity from our viral pandemic, in keeping with a whistle-past-the-graveyard response that, surprise surprise, is already the default setting for surfers and memers alike. On the other hand, there is no whistling away the fact that COVID-19 has literally hit home in Seattle. Schools closed here last week, meaning that in addition to being CEO of the world’s leading nonprofit surf history and cultural preservation website, I’m now a full-time stay-at-home Dad. Expect more typos and misplaced, commas, in other words.
In exchange for you guys cutting me some slack, I make this offer: if anybody out there in EOS-land takes enough of a hit during the impending economic plunge that your subscription becomes a burden, let me know and I’ll pick up the cost until things get better.
Social distancing means we are all going to have more time alone with our computers and phones. Between refreshing CNN Live Updates and watching our stock portfolios contract like a hot panful of Shrinky Dinks, we might as well kill time together on EOS. So hit me up. You guys rallied and kept EOS going when we were on the brink. I’m glad to carry anyone who needs it from now till vaccine day.
And to go out on a high note, remember that surfing, in these tense and unsettled times, is practically a life-saving act. Barring some kind of open-mouth collision with another surfer, riding waves is the safest thing this side of trail running through the Falklands. In other words, we just became half as selfish and twice as righteous.
No one quite like Matt Warshaw is there?
Put him in a shimmering white silk micro dress and a blue-black wig that hangs to his shoulders and jam his size ten feet into white square-toed pump with rhinestone buckle and I’d marry the bastard.
Subscribe to the Encycopedia of Surfing here.
Thank you guru.
That photo is a joy.
That “adenoidal squawk” as Warshaw once described it is anything but placid.
What ironically sucks is my wife’s 401k is mostly in Shrinky Dinks
Fuck yeah warshaw I’m subscribing
Riding waves is the safest thing this side of trail-running through the Falklands? If you live somewhere with good water quality, maybe. Surfers are exposed to increased risk of many kinds of waterborne pathogens. Hard to say if the coronavirus that is currently in vogue fits the bill. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.go…
Trail running in the Falklands sounds quite risky. Parker Coffin was there on a Surfer trip recently, apparently there are minefields all over the place, another legacy of Maggie Thatcher
That wooshed right over my head, I should have payed attention to the ringing in my ears.
Good point.
In fact maybe I’ll dress up my kids as Covid Zombies and they can draw the Garden/ Homebuilding Centre crowd / staff to the parking lot at the front.
Meanwhile I’m at the back, cutting a hole in the fence and hauling out 25 kilo bags of chickenshit and strapping random ugly garden ornaments to the roof rack before puttering off lopsided with all the loot.
I’ll let you know how that goes.
Nice of him to do that.
What’s a world without love??
Yeah LGR, keep the show going. Ziff could generously take all the pros to the Ments, or somewhere else as isolated with perfect waves. Webcast one, or all three Aussie events from such locations, if Bells and Margs end up being canned too. Sport is the ultimate distraction. Warriors can battle without going to war while poets and the masses can all rejoice, argue, support and be entertained without harm.
What a guy. And can testify it’s well worth the subscription, especially if you run a sporadically successful surf nostalgia Instagram that constantly needs fact checking.
This is peak Warshaw. Irreverent, well crafted and overly generous. He deserves a smooch from all of us.
Just read a story that NRL ( rugby league) are attempting a deal to sell their broadcast rights to ESPN to basically give “the world” football because other sports globally closed down. They will play empty stadiums!!
Really WSL should just go behind “closed ranch” doors and sell the fuck out of surfing – massive opp lost no???
no one watches it as it is. well not many anyways
Hmmm, doesn’t surprise me one little bit coz you’re not the picky type are you, D ?
A pretty man in heels? What more could you want?
[speechless]
It’s not like we get a lot of ‘interaction’ with the crowd on the broadcasts. They seem pretty sterile in that regard.
I’ve been told by the wife that if we are all locked down that we can work on the garden as a family.
Fair enough. I might also get a go-out or two for the first time in a year (partially for reasons unrelated to spousal permissions).
Not the family garden mission. Anything but that …. nooooooooo
Yeah I don’t mind. I like the idea of gardening. I just rarely have the resources to do good stuff. Like a few tonnes of decent random natural stone for little walls.
Several cubes of decent soil etc etc.
money money money.
Social distancing = more beach grittiang.
Seems about right.