Exclusive interview from the front.
Not actually locked out, per se, as of this moment citizens of These United States of America are still theoretically allowed passage home but who knows what tomorrow will bring? Who knows how much crazier the civilized world can get by the hour?
Minute even?
I’ve been to a handful of rough places where the situation turned sour quickly. Yemen, Syria, Lebanon, Palm Springs, and it was easier to sort through fake airlines, byzantine bureaucracies, exploding bombs and radical Islam/The White Party than people are talking about getting out of Western Europe. France and Germany.
Germany.
It’s crazy.
“Is it crazy?” I ask my young daughter as we stroll through the Berlin Zoo, for certain the best zoo in the entire world. I snatched her, for days ago, as paranoia just started creeping. Dusting off my war reporter bona fides, smelling opportunity, getting into the muck because the muck is glorious and my young daughter needs that singular fun.
She’s laughing hysterically at a monkey’s butt and doesn’t hear the first time I ask so I repeat.
“Is it crazy?”
“Mmmm. I think people are crazy and I don’t really care about it.”
“Why are people crazy?”
“Because they’re nerds.”
“Do you know what Coronavirus is?”
“Yeah.”
“What.”
“A sickness?”
“Are you scared about it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because other people are nerds and only old people get sick.”
Do you think it’s fun to be in Europe during the Coronavirus Zombie Apocalypse?
She pauses for a long minute while the monkey takes its butt and leaves.
“I think it’s fun but also dumb because we don’t even have the Coronavirus.”
“Well the actor in Big has the Coronavirus. Did you know that?”
“Good. Big was a horrible movie.”
As always, she’s right.
More as the story develops.
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This is dumb as hell & not as funny as y’all think it is. This article won’t age well.
People are dying and these people are making jokes in a zoo?
Is she qualified to give an opinion on the movie big. The scene where he dances on the giant piano is the classic moment and qualifies that is a good movie in my humble opinion
Carona Virus = FAKE NEWS. For suckers.
Only old people get sick????????!!!!!!!! So, you’re raising your daughter to be an asshole!
Sarcasm is for soft little libtard snowflakes who think Kansas City is in Missouri!
His bigly genius is absolutely unimpeachable and his firing of the pandemic response team in 2018 was not only Nostradamus-like in it’s prescience, and personally ordained by God, but a great deal for all Americans. When coupled with his natural ability at medicine he will single handedly stop this flu in it’s weak little tracks in Jesus’s name amen!
Out of the mouths of babes comes forth wisdom.
lame.
Nice to know the “daddy-daughter duo” are both idiots. The girl chalks it all up to “everyone is a nerd and only old people get sick”. Hope a young child with a barely-there immune system doesn’t get sick. Or… maybe I do? 🤔🤷♂️
“Prophecy”??? Get you’re head checked.
Big was surely Tom hanks best in a bad bunch.
Here I sit amongst the vapour
Someone bought all the toilet paper
How much longer must I linger
Before I’m forced to use my finger?
Buy wax , you can wipe your are on anything
Trip of a lifetime.
Great timing Chas, glad you took her, she’s adorable.
Who hacked your account?
“However, what I’ve seen on Fox” doesn’t support “I really don’t watch Fox.”
The rest is childish projection.
Open minds on Fox? Trump isn’t a corporate puppet?
Your KOOL AID tastes like bullshit.
Enjoy amigo.
Then apply for press secretary and score socialized benefits for life! Best yet, he can’t/won’t hold a press conference so you have less to spin or apologize for. You’re so stoked. Isn’t everyone after easy money!!!
So presidential. A steady hand on the wheel for sure.
you know goat, reviewing the day after hiding from the covid wind, you are on fire today. Like legit funny. Why have you been so frugal with your humor all this time?
no one knows how many are infected in the US, we’re not testing them at the rate of all the other 1st world countries
yes, I hear Trump is really smart, like he’s pretty much as smart as a doctor… he practically is a doctor!