Breaking: WSL Cancels Bells, Margaret River, likely G-Land, “We want to share positivity during these anxious times!”

"Hardship is forcing creativity!" says WSL CEO Erik Logan.

As predicted a few days ago,

Bells is going to be cancelled for the first time in fifty-eight years (“It’s a bummer,” says the Curl’s Neil Ridgway, “Bells at Easter with the surf pumping and the stands thumping is better than Christmas for us, but in the end it’s just a surfing contest”) and Margaret River, the tour’s on-again, off-again, stop is out for 2020, even without the spectre of Great White sharks.

From the WSL,

Due to the continued evolution of the COVID-19 pandemic, the World Surf League (WSL) is postponing or canceling all events, at all levels of competition, through the end of May. This includes the postponement of the remainder of the events in the Australian leg of the Championship Tour, Bells Beach and Margaret River, as well as the WSL Big Wave Awards. The Quiksilver Pro G-Land – scheduled to take place in a remote part of Indonesia in June – will either be canceled or moved to an area with more infrastructure.

While full details about the impact these changes will have on the 2020 Tour are not yet available, the WSL is working diligently to land the best solution for surfers and fans alike.

The love of surfing is the bond that holds our global community together. We want to share positivity during these anxious times, by continuing to celebrate that bond, and our shared passion for this sport, the ocean, our athletes and one another.

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Smelly gator
Smelly gator
6 years ago

Does this mean Kelly is back for 2021? I mean he obviously can’t retire without surfing a full season. Or was it assumed he won’t retire regardless of the beer flu?

Snowbored
Snowbored
6 years ago

Looks like my 9th grade economics teacher.

Or that guy in the custom van with tinted windows who offered me some candy when I was 12…(I ran away)

Tommy Riddle
Tommy Riddle
6 years ago

Breaking news from behind the rock. Jack Freestone’s got the COVID.

OffRocker
OffRocker
6 years ago

“From now until infinity!!”
https://images.app.goo.gl/f…

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Borat is on tiktok – I think I overheard him saying “veddy niiice I liiike ittttt” – when he fondled this new board. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago

What the fuck has happened to surfing when this guy is the face of it….

Numbnuts
Numbnuts
6 years ago

Or maybe pickup trash on the beach.

Ed
Ed
6 years ago

W’all going die

J H
J H
6 years ago
Reply to  Ed

WSL’all gonna die…

Christopher Walken
Christopher Walken
6 years ago

Can all the wannabe pros fuck off home now from cooly. Plus the Brazo MMA fucktards

Ed
Ed
6 years ago

Please no !

Lockdown them in Queensland. Save the rest the world from the drop-in ego sickness that is pro bs

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

lets just roll with my dimness and do both…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Blakey Bros
Bex

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I’m the super spreader

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

Now that we can’t play Beacgrits new surfival league, can we put our $$ towards which commentators will catch COVID-19 first?

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I’ll start.
For one thousand BG air fresheners on the nose..
Wiggs.
His conspicuous absence and proximity to thousands of Chinese solidifies him as the favourite though he hasnt shown a turn of foot over the last few meets must include.

J H
J H
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Here are my bona fides for the odds makers in Vegas (or Venice Adjacent):

I have traveled nine (9) weeks since the start of the year.

Been in Tempe, AZ for eight (8) of those weeks where one the first Corona cases was reported

Spend my weekends in NY which just hit four (4) figures in Corona case.

(I’ll expect 10% of the cut to pay for my funeral expenses or adult diapers depending on my survival)

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago
Reply to  J H

You were my pick.

J H
J H
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I’ve always loved you, Negs.

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Potter going down for sure after standing on the street all day long and telling random passerbyers that he is the 89 world champ.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I thought I had it yesterday but I turned out to just be hungover and having an allergy flare. C’est la vie!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Strider is the least likely to catch it. What with sitting all alone in the water, he’s been self-isolating for years. Unfortunately, I’m thinking Rosie and Madonna’s ex are most likely commentators given how up close and impersonal they get with post-heat interviews.
Commentariot: Easy. Chas and his quixotic challenge to the Franks.

Smelly gator
Smelly gator
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I’m a smelly gator and will contract the beer flu before double john. I eat chia seeds but also lick my butthole.

John Wayne
John Wayne
6 years ago

Maybe time for an article on the impending pay cuts the majority of the tour dudes and dudettes are about to cop…..who is most exposed ? That would make for some fun content / speculation.

OffRocker
OffRocker
6 years ago
Reply to  John Wayne

They getting $10000 for nothing, x3, doing better than anyone on a casual job…. I’ve heard that even drug dealers are taking a hit in these tough times…. where’s their economic stimulus package? Vital infrastructure is crumbling as many turn to low paid menial work after their small businesses go broke when they can’t re-up.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago

ELo has at some stage in the past had his nose broken, must probably by a punch.
Had never seen a closeup shot of him before but it seems obvious he’s copped a left hook to the shnozz.
Quite surprised that he hasn’t had it straightened like most media types would’ve.
Maybe he’s more core than previously thought ?

frank
frank
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I think that’s a disguise https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  frank

Hahaha

bruddah
bruddah
6 years ago

You’re right. But the way I see it, all this downtime will be used to determine who’s on top, who’s truly the biggest Bullshitter About Nothing.

Elo already stated his intentions in that Instantgram post. Now, are we gonna reply????

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  bruddah

Yeah, but you have to remember that ELo et al are coming from a position of even less knowledge than we are, so they have the advantage. (Says Dunning-Kruegers biggest fan…)

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
6 years ago

In marathons they allow bandits to run without bibs. Who’s up for a paddle out at bells over Easter?

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

Does this mean the WSL will be profitable through the end of May?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Not without WQS entry fees.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

You Positive?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

I’m always positive. (‘Cept during the HIV massacre.)

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

I miss climate change
The disaster that never seems to happen

beachgrit
beachgrit
6 years ago

I miss already, too. I wonder what our next apocalyptic event will be?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  beachgrit

Compulsory burka probly.

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago
Reply to  beachgrit

…bememer the bushfires? Ahhh, those were the days…

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago

Read “The Inheritance” by Mathew Lopez. You won’t be disappointed…

samwaters
samwaters
6 years ago

The entry fees are a pittance, compared to the cost of putting on a contest…..

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago

Are they paid up front for a season or event by event?

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
I’m soooooooooo invested in the positivity I’m shaking all over.
Or maybe it’s the strong coffee.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Kook Kahanamoku
Kook Kahanamoku
6 years ago

Wonder what they’ll do about the Mikey Wright vs Leo Fioravanti situation, considering the higher ranked after the Aussie leg was going to win back their full time spot on tour. Not that I really care about Gucci-boy Fioravanti (he seems like a nice guy), I just miss the kinda shit Mikey was bringing in 2018 when he finished 12th from wildcard entries.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

BLOOD FEUD!!!

Kook Kahanamoku
Kook Kahanamoku
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Comment Live: Mikey Wright vs Leo Fio throw hands in the North Point carpark!

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

JUN-KEN-PO-MANIA!!!

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago

I actually think Leo would probably win that scuffle…

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Na. He’d be all not the face kinda a guy, just blow his lid open with a solid head butt and he’d be toast..

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  Shroom

Ya reckon ?
I think Leo would probably drop Mikey with one swift hit…

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

…or a dance off.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Leo would thrash him at both probably…

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
6 years ago

Wasn’t there already a girl fight between Mikey and Jesse Mendes? Leo would probably wipe the floor with Mikey Wright.

beachgrit
beachgrit
6 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

I imagine Leo as a jiujitsu practitioner, Mikey, perhaps, handy with an empty beer glass.

Shroom
Shroom
6 years ago
Reply to  beachgrit

Every single Italian thinks they have been blessed with Balboa hands..

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  beachgrit

And in this case, the pub’s serving out of plastic glasses and Mikey goes down first round…

Kook Kahanamoku
Kook Kahanamoku
6 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

Mikey just kinda stands there and gets a couple of love taps from Mendes’ board. Simpler times pre-Article 189.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

bruddah
bruddah
6 years ago

Agree we’re good at bullshitting about nothing! If we’re ranking, i’d say we’re 2nd place behind WSL Studios.

bruddah
bruddah
6 years ago

“We are going to increase the volume of content we are producing from WSL Studios”

How psyched is Elo!?! Doesn’t have to deal with actual competitive surfing anymore and can now just focus on uninspired dreck 100%!!!


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