No tour? Who cares etc.
“Now, if I were to go out and knock on the doors of
Hollywood and corporate America to try and promote surfing, what
would I promote it as? Would I promote it as the 40-contest-a-year
thing, or would I promote it as a free-wheeling, adventurous,
man-and-nature challenge? If I was I corporate sponsor, I know what
the obvious choice would be for me: I’d go for the adventure
stuff.” – Tom Curren, Surfer magazine, 1987.
Am I the only one getting a perverse buzz watching
Covid-19 sweep through the global halls of power like a
Soviet purge?
(Death and misery not withstanding.)
World leaders, celebrities, religious figures fall before it.
Trillion-dollar industries buckle. Entire countries are brought to
heel as the global economy quickly shits its dacks.
All because some idiot ate a pangolin that kissed a bat in a
seafood market in China. It’s a viral revolution with a wicked
sense of humour
Professional surfing, you’d think, won’t be spared the rod. To
the naked eye, the WSL looks like it’ll suffer the same fate as the
NBA, EPL, AFL etc. Royally Fucked.
The Australian leg of the tour’s cancelled. Jewels stolen from
the crown. The rest of the year uncertain. Many surfers will be
feeling the pinch. ‘Specially the QS hustlers going cheque to
cheque. There’s no endgame in sight.
Unlike my pal LongTom, I don’t see 2020 being salvaged.
But I’ve got a feeling CEO Erik Logan ain’t that mad about the
fall of once-mighty empires. He’s our own little Gorbachev. A
realist, pragmatic to a T. And this global crisis presents some
once-in-a-lifetime opportunities for his new plaything. A time to
transition.
From the man himself:
We are going to keep talking about surfing, and
worldsurfleague.com will continue to deliver daily content – and
release awesome new content – about where surfing’s been, where it
is and where it’s going.
We are going to do that on all of our platforms. We are
going to increase the volume of content we are producing from WSL
Studios, deepen our editorial, and find new ways to stay
connected.
There’s never been a better time to become a content provider.
People got fuck-all else to do than look at their phones right now.
Captive audiences abound.
WSL social channels are mostly healthy.
TikTok’s going from
strength to strength.
Erik couldn’t care less about crowning titles when there’s a new
ice bucket challenge or reusable plastic straw to go viral.
Even before the outbreak of the ‘rus I could see the tour did
not feature in his grand plans. He looks beyond it. Its forced
closure is the perfect opportunity for the WSL as a media house to
unfurl its wings, and brand surfing in his image.
Unlike most other mainstream sports, surfing doesn’t need
competition. It doesn’t need teams. It doesn’t need stadiums. It
doesn’t need physical contact of any type.
It’s the future of sport in the isolation era.
Think Julian’s
boardslides.
JJF vlogs (noticed those coming through?).
Ben Gravy acid dropping
Niagara falls in the name of mental health
awareness.
The spectrum of our experience condensed and posted into
controlled, curated fifteen-second videos for a worldwide audience
to consume.
Forget about Gabe’s heat strategies. Leo and Mikey’s wildcard
playoff. Kolohe’s stage fright. Endless non-elimination rounds.
There’s too much testosterone. Too much dead air. Too much risk.
Not enough ROI when pitching to corporate sponsors. What a perfect
time to transition away from it all.
Just like Curren prophesied over 30 years ago.
And it’s good news for us, too.
Because soon the tour will be abandoned completely, in its
current form at least. And what emerges from the ashes will be
leaner, cleaner, tighter. Depending on who buys the right.
Meanwhile, E-LO will be off chasing $$ from Walmart for his new
Soft Diplomacy* YouTube miniseries.
Or it won’t.
And like the rest of the world profession surfing will
disassemble, decentralise, disappear.
Either way, we’ll keep surfing.
*In which individuals from two warring factions (Republican &
Democrat, PLO & Israeli, Crip & Blood) go for a surf lesson on WSL
branded recycled plastic softboards. Erik, you can have this one
for free.
