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Thought Police: World’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater complains of being “shadow banned” on Instagram!

Censorship in the time of Coronavirus.

I have been reading many predictions, lately, on how the world will look once it comes out of this current “shelter-in-place” phase. Some experts suggest the economy will come roaring back as human beings are creatures of habit and will return to movie theaters, restaurants, shopping centers en masse. Other experts suggest that this time has forever changed our means and ways and we are hurtling toward massive economic collapse.

Me?

I only know one thing, for certain, and that is professional surfing will cease to exist in any meaningful way the second Kelly Slater slides into true retirement. The fabulous new surf blog will carry on for a little longer, drafting off the world’s number one podcast, fighting for a few hundred thousand monthly clicks with flatmate The Inertia then darken.

Well, Kelly Slater has not slid into true retirement yet. He is there, running barriers in Australia, getting his surf on, philosophizing and getting brutally censored by the newly empowered Thought Police.

But let us return, once again, to Instagram, where we lay our scene.

Kelly posted on his stories, the other day, that his missives are getting “shadow banned” at 1000 views only on his 2.6 million follower account.

Conspiracy?

Facebook, the social media giant owner of Instagram, YouTube and others have already moved to limit speech where 5G and Coronavirus collide. Twitter has kicked reputable news organizations off the platform for questioning the origin story of the pandemic. The New York Times, Washington Post, etc. quickly label any opinion not directly in line with jackbootism as “crackpot.”

Brutal censorship by any measure which leads to the question, what dangerous idea is the world’s greatest surfer propagating?

More as the story develops.

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51 Comments
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Gamesta

He is exactly aligned, politically, with those that ban him. Why is he complaining?

maha'oi

Except the waves on Big Island are few and far between
Pahoa is good if you want to go back to 1969
Fucking Hippies every where
I guess if you like Fringe Leather jackets and tie dye shirts every where you can fit right in
I had to leave the place I was born at because it’s ruined

MyGFsChinese

Such a meathead

Mike K

“what dangerous idea is the world’s greatest surfer propagating?”

Truly great people inspire with humbleness.

SSD

Except for the damn coqui frogs! Those things need a virus to wipe em out. Last time I was at my uncle’s place in Capt Cook, the noise from them at night was insane. Had to wear earplugs to sleep.

Chief Hot stuff

The content and the radiation
Internet gets you coming and going.

Citizen Kane

Kelly is a bitchboy

99Fine

Those fucking morons. So my gym is gonna be closed for another 40 days. Meanwhile 7 fucking people here on Maui have required hospitalization. Since the beginning of March.

Subantarctic Communist Sealion

Can I please request an article on the greatest bottom turns or bloodiest surfing wipe outs of all time on to the rocks or such like? Anything other than pro surfer concerns about their social media views.

Owen Wright's Brains

a better question is: how can a wsl contest get 2000 viewers when kelly has 2.6 mil followers? i think the answer is obvious. paid for followers. you really think 380 000 people know who carissa moore is? get tha fark outta here.

Chief Hot stuff

My mother in law only knows Mick Fanning
Not for surfing prowess either.
And no he didn’t root her.

SSD

It seems like there are lot of folks on outer islands or off the beaten path that barter things. Did they ban Hawaiians from fishing? Seems like guys that fish trade for fresh fruit and veggies, or car repairs or whatever. I kind of like the way that works.

99Fine

Oh yeah bro, that’s totally how it works here on Maui. Here’s a bag of mangos and sum radishes can you drop a new tranny in my f150?

frank

nope. I’m gunna need an ounce thrown in, then it’s go time!
we shouldn’t burn one first though?

SSD

I thought everyone drove f350s or Ram 3500 diesels?

SSD

Might need a big ono, a couple ounces of pakalolo for tranny

Uneducated

But at least, in this time of great uncertainty, deep divide and division…he has United the BG community as one…
in disgust and contempt for the once great man
Maybe we ought be grateful

But yes I think salvation would be within his grasp should he open wide the gates to surf ranch heaven

(Note: as a newbie I recognise it is not my right to speak on behalf of anyone here, nor the community as a whole. Apologies for any offence caused)

Uneducated

That’s a pretty nice sweater…I would look good in that

Chief Hot stuff

He does look good!
For a bald cunt

Uneducated

Just picture that, with long flowing sunbleached hair, Mel Gibson blue eyes, Chris Hemsworth chest, Brad Pitt grin…
And you have someone that looks absolutely nothing like me. dam

Subantarctic Communist Sealion

I wanna know why he is holding a surfboard but is dressed for visit to a classy cafe with his grandmother on her birthday.

Chief Hot stuff

Attention USA
All American gun owners
Get all your guns and ammo walk outside and shoot down every mobile phone tower you can see.
This has been a public health announcement.

SSD

All these years of being annoyed by the shitty service at my home in the country now seems misguided. Glad I’m not getting bombarded by radio waves. Rural life has its perks. Can fire off guns in a 270 degree radius any time I feel like it. If only there was a reeling righthander in the valley below

Chief Hot stuff

Call slats
Money surfs

SSD

Nah, waiting for the big earthquake to open up the Tijuana river valley, flood Chula Vista, proctor valley and Otay Lakes Rd. also the sea level to rise about 1200′. That and a good straight west swell during a Santa Ana should do the trick

Hippy

The most publicized man in surfing complains about his exposure.

Hippy

Too funny. It’s always about him.

Chief Hot stuff

I’m afraid BEACH GRIT will have to do a TERMINATOR and slip into molten metal while grasping tightly THA INTERNET.

We need to kill this thing.

It’s the ALIEN of our FEEBLE minds.
I swear to Afukingllah
Every day I almost kill some cunt who just walks straight onto the road while checking his /her cuntstagram.
I’m just gonna floor it eventually.

SSD

Cunstagrammer probs wont notice unless the iphone goes out

Hippy

great term

Otto

** Off-Topic **

A hair dryer, a hammock and a surfboard. Has innovation in the surf industry just hit it’s stride.

Chas! You there?!? Is the SUP industry doomed? Are hammock sales about to go through the roof?!? Are hair dryers about to overwhelm the electrical grid?!?

https://www.foxnews.com/lif…

Gino

Somebody please love me.

Ryan in La Jolla

this is rich coming from the guy who can literally surf a wave pool anytime he wants….glad to see that at almost 50 he’s worried about the same social media analytics of a 19yr old

Hippy

bingo. groveling in the mud with the trolls and infatuated with his phone.

SSD

No shit. He literally has the means to drop out of everything and surf as much as humanly possible. But that would mean giving up said priorities

Hippy

How many people are more clued in at 25 than 50?

That phone has exposed the vanity in humanity

FL Skunk Ape

Now this a comment we can all agree on.


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