"I can't help feeling a little frisson of excitement at Kelly sticking it to the man."
Richmond Police precinct encompasses many small towns and hamlets in sub-tropical NSW, including the surf destination of Lennox Head, where I reside.
With the sich here being one of open beaches and pumping surf a lot of interlopers have been keen to test the will of the local constabulary in terms of enforcing the Corona virus travel restrictions.
Sunday afternoon, the kind of glorious autumn afternoon with head-high point surf that surf cats dribble over, two of NSW’s finest approached me in the carpark.
“Where do you live?”
Luckily, I was able to point over the hill and reply “right there”.
That was a satisfactory answer for the boys in blue to allow an unmolested shred.
Others did not have their paperwork in order.
My pal Mark Purser, a yoga teacher from Byron Bay, had a threatening letter from the Richmond police on the windscreen.
Taylor Miller, surfer and daughter of legend Rusty Miller, likewise copped a warning. Her sister was verbally sent home without a go-out.
Fines were dished out, as well as the warning notices.
In the water, CT wildcarder and Italian super-stud Leo Fioravanti tried to put a little hustle on me.
With the police on my side (for once), I felt emboldened to resist the young stud’s advance and return the favour.
He also got the warning note on the windscreen.
“How the fuck are you making money with no comps?” I asked him later in the top carpark.
“Sponsors,” he said.
“So, no money from the WSL at all?”
“Well, they cashed us out for last place for Snapper because it was cancelled, but the rest of the Aussie leg is postponed, so no prizemoney.”
“Ah, so that’s why they postponed it… so they wouldn’t be liable for prizemonies.”
Ten grand for last place, in case you were wondering.
Not a bad earn for a cancelled contest.
Leo ain’t the only pro who’s been knifing it down here for a strike mission.
Kelly Slater showed up, presumably with some kind of paperwork to get back across the closed Queensland border. Got himself involved in a little discrepancy with one of the local grommets which was sorted out via social media, nothing to report there except an offer to share a surf session in Hawaii with one of the local gromesses.
I got the boss cop on the phone to explain the policing.
Detective Chief Inspector Cameron Lindsay is a no bullshit old-school D and very handy on the shred.
Definitely no VAL. He’s a man you want to have on your side.
He told me we were blessed to keep beaches open for our much needed physical and mental health.
Yes, I said, very much so.
It’s about limiting non-essential travel, he told me.
“Travelling from Coolangatta to Lennox head to chase better surf is not essential,” he said, “although I appreciate some people might find it essential.”
You hear that Kelly?
He also notified our local Corona virus hot spot as Byron Bay, which justifies the ticketing of surfers from that area who might consider themselves local.
I don’t know, that one might not stack up in court.
When offered a chance to address Kelly and Leo directly Detective Lindsay was, ah, forthright.
“Consider if that travel is essential. Chasing better surf is not essential. Consider local surfers in that area by complying with the direction. We don’t want it to end up like in America or Europe where Kelly and Leo are from with closed beaches. You’d expect they would be setting an example as leaders.”
Whoa, Kelly on the wrong side of the law.
How do you see him now?
Hero or villain?
I would like a bob each way.
I’m very proud of our top cop and the way they are managing this, as are most local crew, but can’t help feeling a little frisson of excitement at Kelly sticking it to the man.
Kelly if you do end up with a notice to appear in court I will appear as a character witness and/or legal adviser gratis.
I have a novel legal defence in mind.
In the meantime, a lower profile may be in your best interests.
You’re welcome.
News flash, grey nomads are exempt from stay at home laws due to not having a home to go to.
If Kelly had hair it would be grey and bald noggin probably works for in his favour for once.
I hate ripping China, cause they might come burn my house down, arrest me, poison me in a far off land, but fuck them and communism.. they have to be stopped.. they are the imperialist mofos.. like surf camp operators on steroids
wife says the same thing but we’re trapped in iso and the coppers won’t let me get wet.
Still avoiding that daughter?
It’s just multinational. Americans love ritious indignation, Australians love dobbing in the neighbours. It’s all culturally appropriate perspective.
You’re not paying attention or too young to know the difference.
It’s happenin.
The Northern star shits on the Echo
a true Lismorian.
Roger that!
The Northern rivers flowing my veins, mixed with The Thames.
I can hear the banjos playing now …
Great grandfather bex, unkle bex, ellysue bex having a ho down.
9 months later – and there you were !
Darn tootin!!
This joint needs more Long Tom!
I’m all over the place
Ke11y was not only the king, he also lived the most enviable life. He never went home after a contest, he never seemed to have a home other than the road. He was scoring in between gigs and I considered his approach the coolest thing in the world.
None of his initial generation could touch him. Brownie and Beschen challenged, the rest laid over baring their stomachs for a pet. Rob submitted, Benji was too happy, Taylors game was all polish and no pop, Kalani was too happy, Herring went druggo, Chesser was never in that league but he passed, Powell not enough talent, Wills was good in Byron, Dorian was still finding his niche following Kelly, Ross peaked and his ceiling revealed…. none of them could touch Kelly and there was Kelly, between Snapper and Bells at Macaroni’s…. seemingly by himself.
I always wondered why none of these guys just sat on his hip and called the world their homes?
11 titles later and still in the mix, Ke11y has lost his sense of what made him who we thought him to be. If he goes on a free surf trip, it’s amazingly quiet.
He’s become lost to his phone and his ego. He entered the Narcissists House of Mirrors (social media) and can’t locate his way back out. His ego reverberates against the mirrored panels and he engages the trolls, serfs and sycophants equally over his phone.
What happened to the purest of the pure?
It was always an illusion, time to let it go.
I”ve met him 3 times, very nice guy and I think he lost his way like so many. Hand helds are infecting humans and exposing mankinds flaws. Self profiling too… hmmm.. wonder who is behind that!?
The internet
Aww come on Hippy that was depressing man. He is just another guy, fallible, had a childhood, became a young man then an adult, dad, brother, son, partner, friend, enemy. The phone is too easy a target. Let him be, I reckon it isnt always easy being Kelly, you know a sort of inverse proportionate law at play.
succinctly, he’s trapped in his own hubris.
with the world on a string, he concentrates on anonymous voices in the ether.
don’t we all – concentrate on anonymous voices in the ether?
No, just the ‘experts’ the media\government employs.
Is there a good reason Kelly isn’t in Florida right now?
LGR and Vive45-
Here’s more proof the shit has been going around California long before thought.
https://www.businessinsider…
Yep. Also, did you catch the study from USC on Monday? It’s mirrors the one from Stanford a few days earlier, mainly that 50-85 times more people have it or have had it (presence of Covid anti bodies) than the actual reported number which means the death rate is super low….like potentially less than the flu low.
Also, there was a study done in an Ohio prison (came out the other day), where like out of 1800 inmates 1200 tested positive (had it at some point). 900 never had symptoms and other 300 just kicked like a regular illness. No deaths.
Lesson humanity should learn from all this once done (should but wont’, sadly): Through history, the ‘experts’ are almost always wrong. In modern times this means experts in climate, economics, medicine, pandemics, sports prognostication, politics (Hillary 98% chance to win!), whatever. Who ever the media is interviewing on whatever subject who purports to be an expert is full of shit, almost guaranteed. See Fauci.
So I’m guessing your phone, car, house, surfboard, camera, etc were all built by retarded apes?
Developed by real experts. Not ones like Fauci or whatever expert worked on the Imperial college virus model or the ones who work the IHME model. FOOLS. Just like all the climate ‘experts’ who have been predicting doom 5 years out since the late eighties.
The climate has changed dramatically. All surfers should be aware of that.
And the assault on sharing information continues unabated.
Experts are wrong.
Listen to the conflicted Clown.
Okeydokey
The clown as you say is more surprised than anyone that he’s the Pres.
I’m sure he was just bored and running was a good publicity look.
Don’t blame him blame the crybaby lefties who don’t know how to live
I believe he never wanted the job, but the popularity contest was something that sucked him in and then he realized exponentially more attention and with that, power.
Remember Ulysses and the Sirens?
Trump had to strand his “boat” listening to his mirror’s reflection.
The job is an inconvenience.
And loving it!
Get Smart Hippy.
Yes indeed! The weird thing is how questioning the experts draws so much ire these days. You’re anti science, dont care if people die, right wing trumptard, etc.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Fuckwit. He goes long periods without surfing until he is told he cannot go willy nilly where ever whenever. He might surf himself into world title form if this continues.
I’m seeing the same thing happening with old friends who hardly surf anymore, sharing vids of empty jbay etc with accompanying cry emojis. Some haven’t even sniffed a bar of wax in years.
More Internet virus victims.
Everyone has caught it
Even the homeless have it
Let alone hung a shit in the bushes.
I saw Steph Gilmore out there on Monday, wanted to send her in with a self-righteous finger, but she looked so damn nice that I couldn’t bring myself to do it. In other news my mate helped Leonardo’s GF in across the rocks on Sunday arvo, he reckons he’s in with a great chance, offered her a local address, permanent residency, Centrelink benefits, baby bonus etc, beats dating an unemployable former pro surfer!
We can assume she is smoking hot?
Fioravanti’s girlfriend, yes, smoking hot a 10/10 – so good looking I would need to look at my toes. Steph is more of a lovely shade of warm, her beauty I could handle, but the superior surfing capabilities and overall famousness might intimidate me.
My dad had a saying about 10/10 hot women…..
“Someone is tired of fucking them”
Cynical yes, but he was talking about tennis groupies and had no idea he was alluding to my mom. !!!!
yes much better off to marry a surf buddy who has heaps of cool friends and who can play some sweet melodies on the guitar.
It all gets old
It’s the curse of all men
Pop had another saying bexy….
“If you arrive at a woman’s house to pick her up for a date and she has more than one cat, run”
Now you see why I am so fucked up.
This may not be true for all guys but I suspect it is
The gnarliest sex is when you haven’t even caught their name yet.
That’s true. A long time someone told me the same thing, just different phrasing.
“ show me the hottest chick in the world, and I guarantee that somewhere in the world there is a guy that is tired of fucking her.”
I always have remembered that.
you think Robo is tired?? I think not.. I think he is very happy in quarantine on the west side. But your dad’s sentiment is very true.. I have had my share..
Was it Freud who called beautiful women an empty vase?
Too beautiful in their childhood means never having to try at anything. They tend to end up vacuous idiots.
Same applies for teenage surfing sensations.
Dosent translate to Insta.
So no shot
But it’s the opposite of that. The rich fancies who can afford a surfside postcode may surf. If you live those few k’s further because it is cheaper or closer to work you may not surf.
Add to that the fact that the lefties are all rich snobs with shit loads of corporate cash
While us conservatives are little aussie battlers.
It’s a political air reverse!!
Political air reverse is better than political 540, no?
Crazy ain’t it!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
How does one see Kelly ?
Ummm, self entitled wanker.
There ya go.
The general public thinks all Surfers are self entitled wankers.
I resent that. I’m not self entitled!
Remember when as a teen you’d go for a swim with your chick and you couldn’t get out until your boner went down?
Didn’t have a girlfriend as a teenager.
Space lego was more my scene.
I get it.
Late bloomer.
Christchurch
Too cold for boners
not exactly a strip club of women either if you get my drift.
Yeah, so glad to eventually get on to Lego Technics
For some reason I read Lego Technics in a kiwi accent in my head and it made me laugh. “Ligo Tucknix”
Ticknux
Forgot the last I to u conversion!
It’s important to mock correctly
Pffft
Dorks.
They are correct on this one
Lifetime Aussie world title denier.
Kiwi, matey.
Nothing to do with his 11.
Interesting when that AFL player got busted surfing in West Oz the premier there, I think, said you shouldn’t be surfing unless you’re a professional surfer and it’s your job. I’m sure poor old Kel was just a victim of the mixed messaging.
Fuck ten large for a no show is good.
Ricardo Christie sez welcome to my world