The dawning of a golden new age of violent localism.
Common sense is hard to come by these days what with heroic baby whale rescuers copping fines in Australia, heroic connoisseurs of Asian fusion cuisine copping fines in America, but in the land that gifted us common law, common sense appears to be reigning supreme.
And let us hurry back to the motherland, to Jolly Olde England where a monster swell is headed straight for surfing hotspot Cornwall.
Forecasters are predicting surf in the odd 9 – 15 ft range accompanied by great weather and spring tides. A recipe for disaster as less experienced surfers may be tempted to paddle.
The solution in Australia and America, I feel, would be to close the beach and fine those sitting at home and drawing pictures of stick men in barrels.
In England, there is simply an appeal for experienced surfers to keep kooks on the sand and let us go straight the bottom of that pendulum where we read:
Carve Surfing Magazine has issued a warning to all surfers in the South West, saying that a combination between the swell, spring tides, good weather and no lifeguard cover could be a “recipe for disaster.
They wrote: “Community groups are trying to fill gaps with observation and advisory patrols, but obviously this is not a great situation so we need the help of the surfing community to keep an eye out for potential victims of tidal surges, rips and people get out of their depths.
“The period of swell arriving is Friday afternoon combing with an incoming spring tide, lasting through Saturday.
“At present it looks like a quick blast from a fast moving bombing low which could quickly drop to 965mb. We will update warnings in due course.
“If experienced surfers or ex-lifeguards can offer advice where needed it will save lives in this challenging period.
“Coastguards and lifeboats are on standby, but as we all know prevention is best.”
Amen that prevention is best and I would very much hope that Cornwall’s experienced surfers cinch up their black shorts this Friday, paddle into the lineup and punch the teeth out of any lower-intermediate surfers mouth. To scream, “Be gone with ye!” when they try and park.
The dawning of a golden new age of violent localism.
The most silver of linings.
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I’m finding the opposite. More people that I’ve never seen before at our only surf spot on this side of the island have been paddling out during quarantine, to the point of where 75% of the surfers in the lineup are unknown and pretty much mega donkeys. Tensions have never been higher in the water and the real local surfers are angrier than ever due to this massive influx of transplants who have decided to ‘pick up surfing’ as part of their lifestyle during quarantine.
9 to 15 foot. Carve surfing mag need rescuing.
Stok-ed to be Gen-X upper-intermediate.
Or this could be the perfect opportunity for a simple “Culling of the VAL’s”, which just so happens to be the title of the next Chas Smith novel. Breve new world fiction or true life Non-Fiction, that is the unknown.
You have contributed to that last thought of yours…. just sayin…
same thing is happening here…. no way.
dunno how anyone is going to go back to traffic/commute either.
I was thinking of dragging my fat arse down from London for a surf and a fight with a jumped-up pseudo lifeguard, but there’s a chance it might only be 9ft so nah
Maybe they (The Poms) can try for their patented “civilizing process” again.. worked down in India, worked on the indigenous Australians, but didn’t end so great for em last time in the beautiful islands. MLGA – Make Localism Great Again!
Have you seen the Hawaiian flag lately? I’d say they did a nice job on fucking your islands up, just like they fucked up mine!
*edit – I don’t want to get political, hope everyone stays safe this weekend. Good on Carve for taking a proactive approach!
**Edit to JTS** Hearing ya man.. I was trying to make a stupid joke about Cpt Cook getting boiled!
Yeah man, I have.. Our flag though when put in “Aussie Swazie” tatt form as worn by our best and brightest bogans, has just the southern cross star cluster.. I did notice plenty of Hawaiians rocking the island chain tatt, similar vibes, just less bogan. New flag suggestion for straya, Aboriginal flag (in place of the Union Jack) plus bogan stars, new Hawaii flag, the island chain on a flag?
The Ab flag is a western construct.
Probably yes. Still, it’s a fine flag. As far as flags go.
please explain!
Haha, that’s an epic reverse channeling of Pauline
Must you always look for the negative?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Not interested in your misogyny
Is it transphobia or misogyny? Either way, I’m fully fucken woke so I wouldn’t be either Bexy!!
Don’t be woke
Be awake to cultural nonsense.
The thing is.. I’ve always kinda had a foot each side of this fence. I support those who wants rights, or are in a vulnerable/marginalised group. But geez.. I do like nasty jokes.
Human rights are also a western construct.
See, its complicated.
Don’t be silly.
You know it is
fool doesn’t have to explain shit…you dirty commie snowflake.
Captain Kook got cooked!
Did he? I thought the Hawaiian King had him speared and boiled. Either way, done son!
Either that or start wearing grass skirts again
Mini, midi or maxi length ?
Whatevers sexiest I guess
I think I’m England it’s more like “pardon me my dear fellow would mind terribly paddling back in? Surely there’s no need for any personal rancor, now just be a good chap paddle along now! Cheerio! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Impeccable manners mask the world’s mightiest bastards.
true dat
So the 1% of pommy surfers who are actually slightly above “lower-intermediate” level are supposed to police the other 99% of their surfing populace
Interesting situation.
Bummer that all the euro types that clutter the sea worldwide can’t fly there immediately, like lemmings off a cliff…
Good point there.
This may be Coasteerings’ finest moment ….
fuck prevention…let surfing`s only line of natural selection do its thing
All those warnings make me wanna drown someone
Gerry Lopez is my hero. He’s also one of the least intimidating men I’ve ever seen. #goinleft
Re: Cornwall mega swell. Looking forward to the coming edit with some slo-mo footage and Ben Howard/Blaze of Feather music.
I couldn’t find any suggestions or inspiration for violence in the writing. Am I missing something?
Yes, imagination.
Damn. I knew it!
Which Surfline cam(s) should I be rubbernecking this weekend?
Hard onshore south westerlies most places, so anywhere north facing. Porthmeor in St Ives has a Surfline cam I think, check the chunky messyness from there. Hayle rivermouth should be cooking by midday though, cams can be googled. Wompingly shallow at low, around 12pm, watch em all revel in the closeout glory
You should of hit it today or yesterday, the lines were coming in from all angles in North Devon, I’d say at least 3ft-4ft on set, 29 degrees, with no wind. A rarity my friend.