Opinion: “The damn mid-length is a legitimate cheat code! It’s the ugly duckling future!”

"It's got fucking FAA approved engines (Volume + Thickness+ Length) making it ghost ride into just about anything you want…"

The men behind the mid-length. Good god, can we just end this thing right there?

If your name is not Torren Martyn and your age is not 60, hang the damn thing up.

Or stomp it into obscurity.

Both options are highly encouraged.

Nonetheless, let’s begin where I first became aware of the mid-lengthers, wave catchers, drawn-out turners, and swoopers of individuals.

Trestles, the glorious meeting ground for any and all Southern California rippers looking to hold the rail beyond the usual Huntington hop eye sore. It is a place that So’Caler’s hold with much regard for its “national park” feel, its beauty and tranquility and, most significantly, its long tapered walls.

Along with the many elements of nature it exhibits, it also plays host to something on the other end of the spectrum.

Something horrible and grave, insistent and annoying, something formidable.

The fucking Mid-Lengthers.

Again, we should just end there.

But, we won’t.

The damn Mid-Length is a legitimate cheat code in this game of surf we love and hate to play. It’s got fucking FAA approved engines (volume + thickness+ length) making it ghost ride into just about anything you want. It also has a long, drawn-out rail line allowing it to never piddle out on mush.

And the worst thing of all?

It is owned and operated by the modern surfer.

The guy, call me sexist, who screams “Eureka” (I found it) when he realizes this is the board he’s yearned for. All those years suffering on a wave-starved, chiseled-out potato chip are put to bed.

Now he can shut his eyes at night dreaming of the thousands of waves he’s gonna catch, the hundreds of people he’s gonna out position and the handful of fist bumps he’ll receive on the beach.

Solution?

Very strict burns.

Drop-ins up and down the beach until every Mid-Lengther across the globe comes to recognize that if you ride a Mid-Length you’re gonna get burned.

It’d be stupid to sit here with my arm in chair (no pun) and declare that “progressive, radical surfing” on shortboards is the way forward and informally “the solution.”

Because, to be frank, it is not.

The way of the future is the Mid-Length due to the increased amount of surfers and the decreased amount of secluded surf spots.

This does not mean to engage with the Mid-Length right now.

It simply means to push pause on this fad and hold off until it is absolutely necessary.

Once Erik Logan converts every living thing in this world into a surfer, you’ll know the time has come to call your local shaper and effectively sell your soul.

Until then, forget about trimming.