"We hope we dodged a bullet."
A rare hurricane heading directly for Hawaii shifted slightly to the north and spared the iconic island chain of much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Hurricane Douglas had been tracking to land somewhere between Oahu and Kauai with National Weather Service meteorologists calling the storm a potentially deadly performer “bringing a triple threat of hazards, including, but not limited to, damaging winds, flooding rainfall and dangerously high surf.”
But have you ever known anyone who practiced musical theater? In that field a “triple threat” is someone who can sing, dance and act. Very devastating, leading to much destruction in the form of Cats, Rent and Into the Woods to name but three.
Some rain fell in Kauai and some rivers got choked out. Gentle rain fell in Oahu while blustery wind slapped palms. One small tree was false cracked on Maui and dropped onto a road.
Hawaii’s Governor David Ige told the press, “We hope that we dodged a bullet. We were fortunate in that we did not have major flooding or major dislocations.”
I had a major dislocation, once, at Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch in Lemoore, California. It was uncomfortable and lightly embarrassing though not as uncomfortable nor lightly embarrassing as Nick Carroll getting snaked by Vaughn Blakey and Sean Doherty on the final wave of the day.
Did you know that when you Google “Australian surf journalist” it comes up like this?
I hope Tim Baker doesn’t feel too comfortable with his Wikipedia and walled off “top of the pile” positioning. That’s our Longtom right below him and, unlike Hurricane Douglas, he will not shy away from a direct hit.
You’ve been warned Tim Baker. Best to start filling sandbags and laying them below your “featured snippet.”
Steady on, my PhD was on “Sleepless in Seattle as a framework for establishment of normative behaviours in cis females”.
It took weeks to complete.
…I dunno, is it MAGAteers?
They are awful, awful
At least Tim Winton didn’t top the list.. toxically masculine asshole!
“Iconic” is an overused word right up there with “legend” and “genius.”
Might want to use it sparingly.
And “Cats, Rent and Into the Woods” should be italicized.
And what was the final word on Mara?
Murder? Suicide? Accident?
Even the weather
Is getting fully on board
With Cancel Culture
This event is further proof that a haole storm can not hurt the mana of Hawaii. Only storms that start in a, e, i, o, u, h, k, l, m, n, p, and w are worth watching out for.
Baker got dat sweet SEO.
I just googled ‘surf news’ and surfer, surfing, tracks, Stab, surfertoday, WSL all showed. But no BG
Have you tried ‘surf rumours’? Or better ‘shark rumours’?
I knew I was missing something!
A decade ago, Tim and I had an argumentative relationship that transferred to emails….. contentious is a better term for it. Although he enjoyed my referring to Nick as an Ad Copy writer.
Tim was a serious journalist, but I had to mention the irony that he wrote Mick’s biography for Rip Curl which trended him to be an Ad Copy writer too.
Nice fellow once we got that hypocrisy out of the way.
I am VERY relieved that things worked out okay.
On another note…
Chas…I tagged you in a shark porn story on Facebook. Long Beach is closed to surfing, etc. due to multiple shark sightings today.
That’s on top of the 8pm beach curfew for inappropriate behavior by non-locals.
Fun times.
Hurricane Longtom is coming. Doesn’t sound very threatening. May I suggest category 1?
Cyclone Longtom*
Topical Storm?
A broadening depression
The East Coast Low Dog.
I always wanted to start a band called The Low Highs
Have you seen the band round our way called “East Coast Low”?
E-C-Lo?
No, any good? ‘Pasha Bulker and the East Coast Lows’ would be a great one too.
Yeah they ok, bit run of the mill but ok.
…sounds like a sort of “Cornershop meets Mono” combo. I’d go and see them.
What about The High Lows!…anyway, iI’l just go take a hit
I have another one, The High Lulls. Fitting?
Sean Doherty was supposed to talk about his new book Golden Daze on RRR last Sunday am but he ghosted them for some reason.
Should be back on this Sunday. RRR- Radio Marinara-9am AEST
What are you warning Tim about?
Is Long Tom coming for him?
Exactly!
Recent episode or lingering?
The advent of blog commenting was cathartic for many of the tenured “writers”. Oh, we had fun. Matt Bransons Cock Ring knew how to stir the pot.
hawaiians also dodged the bullet on learning how to read and write.
In 1778, Captain Cook estimated the Hawaiian population to be more than 800,000.
Within 40 years the population had been reduced to about 200,000 due to introduced western disease.
In 1820, right at the time that Kamehameha I died, the first missionaries arrived and the Kapu system was abolished.
By 1840 the first Hawaiian printing press enabled native Hawaiians to reach a literacy rate of 90%, the highest in the world. The comparable literacy rate of Americans at that time was under 20%.
Not only could native Hawaiians read and write their own language, they could also read and write in English.
In the 1800’s more than 70 Hawaiian language newspapers were in publication.
With the missionaries assistance, the literary achievement of native Hawaiians was nothing less than phenomenal.
Currently, across the USA, 1 in 6 are considered illiterate. The same stats hold true for Hawaii too but the illiterate population in Hawaii results mainly from our high immigrant numbers from Micronesia, Philippines, South Pacific Islanders, Asia and other arrivals from the mainland.
looks like at least 1 hawaiian learned how to copy & paste.
awww… poor little dickie got all butt hurt
says the person who wrote an essay in response to my comment. why so easily offended?
Fuck off you racist pipsqueak. That was the third time you posted about Hawaiians not knowing how to read and write. What the fuck is your problem with Hawaiians? When you pitch provocative flaming comments like that what do you expect? My “essay” was not aimed at you in any personal fashion you ignorant asshole. Go fuck yourself and run home to mommy if you can’t take it.
this is gold. what’s more beautiful than pure hawaiian ignorance spewing like a volcano. this proves my point, stay dumb hawaii!
Wat u faka?