"The best solutions are often right in front of our noses."
Australia is experiencing what experts are calling a full “Great White Crisis” that is only tangentially related to the race/equality protests roiling the United States. Up over, hundreds of years of oppression etc. have come to a head as all manner of brown and black people have risen up and said “enough” cancelling many whites, some great ones included.
Down under, the juvenile Great White shark population has exploded, endangering any person dare dipping a toe in the ocean. The situation has become so dire that our own Longtom is suggesting violence toward the young beasts. “…we’ll have to find a way to co-exist and if that means juveniles need to learn a little fear and caution of these skinny limbed mammals who play in the surf zone then so be it.”
And while spanking, whipping with a belt or wooden spoon, etc. was once an acceptable form of punishment, times have changed and the general public may not have the appetite it once did for sharks on drum-lines getting “roughed up.”
What then can we do?
Just released footage of a viciously rotund Great White menacing two divers may hold the answer.
As you can see, the shark spots the divers and turns to eat one of them, white teeth bared, eyes rolled back in head.
The diver, unafraid, simply redirects the beast’s nose as if he were a boisterous St. Bernard puppy and have you ever had a St. Bernard puppy? I have. They are wonderful animals but so big and playful and often cause accidental damage. The “naughty puppy” nose shove becomes a tool of great value when utilized correctly.
Has anyone in Australia tried yet?
Does anyone in Australia own a St. Bernard puppy?
The best solutions are often right in front of our noses.
I think you missed the real story. I took a “Magazine Writing” course in college, so I’ll help you out:
Five Divers Film Exciting New Instagram Stories. Receive Many Likes and Followers, Become Influencers.
Here’s an antidote:
“Mother ocean has given me so much. As many of you know, I’ve had many struggles over the years, but I kept strong with my #faith and #God has given me so much #abundance to go and swim with this wonderful creature. I just want to extend #gratitude to all of you struggling out there with your own #manystrugglesovertheyears. #staystrong #besafe #idoitallforthegram
(I got a B in that course).
Let this not serve as some good reason for toes on the nose. That shit ain’t no Great White hope, nope.
White people
Bold move the nose push. What happens if there’s more than one? Swarmed! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Then all hope is lost.
Give me a St. Bernard encounter any day.
It only works if you say “Boop” at the same time.
That shark looks like it could be ‘Doby’ (or at least closely related to Doby)
Possibly Ron’s hand and I bet Baxter isn’t far away in that case…
Abalone is going to get extraordinarly expensive in the short to medium term (say 3-10 years). Who’d be a diver nowadays? Not that it bothers me, the stuff is pretty ordinary tucker. More pertinently, life was pretty sweet for 40 years or so with boats thinning out sharks but it is going to get fairly nervous making in the short to medium term. Once saw sharks cruising in the waves in the Galapagos islands hunting seals and thought to myself: thank gawd we don’t have that at home. Me: put them back ontne menu.
Do you think this naughty puppy head redirect technique would work on GWS articles too?
It very well might.
All we need is a click. Do it for the team.
On behalf of the whole commentariet, you’re welcome x 1000.
Did you know that spellcheck does not recognize commentariat as a word?
Or musicality, by the way.
Anywho, back to the glass at hand.
I click…for the comments.
As you do