Listen: Caio Ibelli on the silky joys of Brazilian women and cavorting all over Gabriel Medina, “I feel he cries in the shower after he loses to me…”

Come meet your new favourite surfer!

Caio Ibelli is the twenty-six-year-old Brazilian surfer with the flawless patrician features and rosebud month who, repeatedly, garrots world champion surfers, mostly John John Florence and Gabriel Media, but also including Kelly Slater. 

Told he’d never be a pro surfer ‘cause he got into the game late, Caio won the world junior title in a stacked field that included Filipe Toledo, Jack Freestone and Wade Carmichael, became the rookie of the year in 2016 and has continued to be a thorn in the side of anyone who intimates that he ain’t no good. 

A little over a week after his twenty-sixth birthday in 2019, this journeyman of five feet and six inches who nobody pays attention to although they should was catapulted into the world of one hundred and thirty million souls as the bogeyman who stole Gabriel Medina’s dream for a third world title in Portugal.

Caio got hit with ten thousand hateful messages in two hours after Medina and his guy-pal Neymar loosed their armies onto the “high-voltage” natural-footer. 

All this, of course, is discussed over the course of eighty-eight minutes, with a late diversion into his life as a single man (“Every man has to get a Brazilian girlfriend,” he says, all but twirling his snout against a vulva frothed with lubricity while we speak) after his split from pro surfer girlfriend, Alessa Quizon. 

Charlie and I are grotesque, trembling the air in apparent orgasmic spasms, while Caio concusses us both with his endless beautiful bludgeon strokes.

He’ll lead your poor heart to slaughter, too.

(Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcast, Stitcher, TuneIn + Alexa, iHeartRadio, Overcast, Pocket Cast, Castro, Castbox, Podcast Addict, Podchaser, Deezer and Listen Notes.)

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M.
M.
6 years ago

Probably a bit of a strange request, but could you try to get Charles‘s wife on the podcast. I’d be quite curious to hear what she thinks where the industry is heading. Plus, if memory serves me well, she doesn’t have surf clients so she might not be bound too much by conflicting interests.

Beach Grits n Eggs
Beach Grits n Eggs
6 years ago
Reply to  M.

I second this. Just listened to her on Looking Sideways and she was excellent. Also, I’d like to hear women in general on Dirty Water. Supposedly they’re part of this BG audience

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
6 years ago

Gabby listened to this and fasttracked the Medinaburger launch date kicking off what will come to be known as the Brazilian burger wars. Shits about to get nasty as Ibelliburger and Medinaburger fight for market share. When questioned about their sons gutsy endeavor the Ibelli clan simply stated, “I like pizza”

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

You should enjoy this then.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
6 years ago

once married to Alessa Quizon, beats gabs, jjf and slater on the regs and owns a burger joint… not a bad life

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  dickie toledo

And suffers no existential crises. Cut from the same cloth as Taj Burrow, Brett Simpson etc. A winner at life.

John Wayne
John Wayne
6 years ago

That was a very enjoyable listen. Caio comes across great. Keep these coming. The last two have been fantastic.

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago

He’s going all in on a burger joint??? Even during the best of economic times he’d be better off heading to the local casino and putting it all on red.

Heysoos
Heysoos
6 years ago

great interview he seems quite unfiltered. no sponsors and nothing to lose.

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

Can someone please listen and tell me what my opinion should be?

OffRocker
OffRocker
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

That’s me with any content longer than 30s these days

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

I enjoyed very much.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

I’ll listen late for you.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

I’ll listen to it later

Billy Hunt
Billy Hunt
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

You’re building up quite the backlog.

Would you like Negs to ban you so you can spend some quality time catching up?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago

Are you at a swinging bar mitzvah? Mazel tov!

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
6 years ago

I had a Brasilian girlfriend. Was fun while it lasted.
Every guy should have an Asian girlfriend for the squeaky toy noises.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago

And beautiful ratios.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago

Is Lubricity
The electrical charge caused
By dry vaginas?

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
6 years ago

I’m going to have to Party Pete this one.
… and, no Zoom screenshot of Caio?… did he refuse because he’s embarrassed of his Mr. Belding hairline?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
6 years ago

Hairline resilient! Forgot to grab while interviewing, new program, Squadcast, don’t record video.

GiGi
GiGi
6 years ago

Zack could have been something big if Belding was tougher on him ….


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