The perfect board is a drag racer. Hard to master. Difficult to handle. Not suited for most roads.
Camus said there’s only one real philosophical question in life, and that’s whether or not we should commit suicide.
All other considerations, what is matter, what is time, what is consciousness, come afterwards. No use asking them if existence is meaningless.
By extension, the only question a surfer should ask themselves is whether or not they should ride a mini-mal.
Think about it. A seven-foot, round-nose thruster with shortboard profile is essentially the ultimate vehicle for ninety per cent of the conditions an everyday surfer finds themselves in.
Paddle power. Speed. Responsiveness. Glide.
It’s everything any surfer really, truly wants for a midweek scrap amongst the pack. The absurd answer to our absurd existence.
The PT Cruiser of the surf world.
But, just like sticking a hot one in the mainline ain’t always the best way to deal with such fundamental questions, nor will speed-hopping a McCoy or a Meyerhoffer ever really satisfy your deep-seated surfing desires.
So too it goes with the current glut of mid-lengths.
Attn: Sam George.
Yeah, mid-lengths work.
Yes, volume is your friend. I’m as guilty as anyone when it comes to enjoying pleasures found above forty litres.
But, the path to enlightenment ain’t meant to be easy.
We obtain it through trial, struggle, self-flagellation.
Knifing under a guillotine lip, while razor-toothed coral heads sing sweet nothings to your skin in preparation for the upcoming feast. Engaging the heelside rail on a warpspeed, wedging hook only to be obliterated by the oncoming foamball. Learning how to get into waves using your positioning and strength, not “some sneaky extra volume hidden up front.”
Rinse, repeat it all. Again and again. Sisyphus and his rock.
That’s how you improve your surfing.
That’s how you find meaning.
Even Camus agreed.
The only reason we ride bigger boards, every now and then, is to transfer the knowledge we obtain back to our main whip.
Because the perfect board is a drag racer.
Hard to master. Difficult to handle. Not suited for most roads.
But when you do hit that sweet spot and engage it at the peak of your performance potential…
Or at least that’s the story we run with.
In reality, I’ll continue riding my chunky love boats in ninety percent of conditions because it’s easier, and I get more waves, and I’m a lazy, lazy man.
But, I’m not gonna keep telling every other cunt about it.