The perfect board is a drag racer. Hard to master. Difficult to handle. Not suited for most roads.
Camus said there’s only one real philosophical question in life, and that’s whether or not we should commit suicide.
All other considerations, what is matter, what is time, what is consciousness, come afterwards. No use asking them if existence is meaningless.
By extension, the only question a surfer should ask themselves is whether or not they should ride a mini-mal.
Think about it. A seven-foot, round-nose thruster with shortboard profile is essentially the ultimate vehicle for ninety per cent of the conditions an everyday surfer finds themselves in.
Paddle power. Speed. Responsiveness. Glide.
It’s everything any surfer really, truly wants for a midweek scrap amongst the pack. The absurd answer to our absurd existence.
The PT Cruiser of the surf world.
But, just like sticking a hot one in the mainline ain’t always the best way to deal with such fundamental questions, nor will speed-hopping a McCoy or a Meyerhoffer ever really satisfy your deep-seated surfing desires.
So too it goes with the current glut of mid-lengths.
Attn: Sam George.
Yeah, mid-lengths work.
Yes, volume is your friend. I’m as guilty as anyone when it comes to enjoying pleasures found above forty litres.
But, the path to enlightenment ain’t meant to be easy.
We obtain it through trial, struggle, self-flagellation.
Knifing under a guillotine lip, while razor-toothed coral heads sing sweet nothings to your skin in preparation for the upcoming feast. Engaging the heelside rail on a warpspeed, wedging hook only to be obliterated by the oncoming foamball. Learning how to get into waves using your positioning and strength, not “some sneaky extra volume hidden up front.”
Rinse, repeat it all. Again and again. Sisyphus and his rock.
That’s how you improve your surfing.
That’s how you find meaning.
The only reason we ride bigger boards, every now and then, is to transfer the knowledge we obtain back to our main whip.
Because the perfect board is a drag racer.
Hard to master. Difficult to handle. Not suited for most roads.
But when you do hit that sweet spot and engage it at the peak of your performance potential…
Oooweee.
Or at least that’s the story we run with.
In reality, I’ll continue riding my chunky love boats in ninety percent of conditions because it’s easier, and I get more waves, and I’m a lazy, lazy man.
But, I’m not gonna keep telling every other cunt about it.
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Oh!
The moar you know!
Life is best served on hard rails, no rocker … everything else is an apology … to life itself which sings past you as you ‘get in early’ [or just end snatch] a gutless roll of mush that makes you feel better than a group of losers …
I agree with Sam and surfads, and it appears they agree with each other: mid-lengths are the best boards in most conditions. But, surfads has a point: let the short board wannabes struggle in mediocre waves while we cruise on by on our 6 6s and 7 0s. That’s not to say that we don’t bust out our drag racers when the waves are barreling over shallow reefs.
A mid length militia is forming. We laugh at their training until a few years pass and they’ll be thickening the dark cloud of smoke known as loggers choking your race car out of any opportunities of freedom. They want change and they want you to change. We must remain vigilant. -Surfer Carlson
Hahhaha!!
If I could be bother but clearly can’t I’d post a link to a past surfaids blog on this very site! Where he astore the virtues of oversized surfing craft he recommended and actively pursue via online second hand sales in Australia.
Nick Carrol would be proud to see a fellow Aussie blogging away in a obviously hypocritical manner.
His taught them everything they know down under?
You are aware that the height of hypocrisy is Nick carrol commenting on any blog. Text book definition of hypocrisy
I think if you did an analysis of my work on here you’d find an about face turn roughly every three articles. “Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing” springs to mind. Mainly all just for fun.
Thanks for remembering it, though!
Ads, this is so good man. Can relate big time. But not mid time.
Thanks mate. Just hold that thought next time I eat it in front of you on my 8’4
Haha, he’s right, you’re a great writer. Always enjoy your contributions. There’s a better chance of my leashless 9’0 log ghost riding into you before you even belly down and paddle.
haha will do!
But surely you mean trim with ease as the curl curl’s 50 yards behind you
Airing strongly grievous feet?
Mike drop
Love the feel of a McCoy in my arms, but they always slide out on me.
put some fins in.
They’re large and glassed in unless it’s a single or pop out.
That last sentence
Have always thought as long as your surfing is progressing that’s the main thing. I guess it can progress at varying speeds depending on board..and fun that’s important too!
This is Longtom territory. Good read. We have a dude at my block who wears a hat, white sunscreen caked on, mid length board with swallow tail and go pro attached to the front. Dude is a total wave hog. Ugliest style too. Other day I watched him get snaked. I hate snakes. However this snake i rewarded by letting him get the next 3 set waves.
Thems the rules eh?
Hogs get snaked.
Ugly. style?…snaked if not doing anything worthy.
Clever sneaky snakes are the worst.
Not where I am. This snake was total kookdom based–dude didn’t even look down the line. Just paddled for the wave, oblivious.
I’ve had 36 liters smashed into my head for the past 5 years…… this is liberating…. that and the Camus line was worth the full read….
My own 6’9″ semi-round nose is 24 liters, they don’t have to be non-sensitive chubby boats like the popularly known ones.
Having said that, that board doesn’t get as many go-outs in average overhead as my regular 6’3″ that has less volume than my 5’9″ pig.
It’s really about volume appropriate to the riders size, skill and ambitions; hardly a secret; and the curves, straights and flats that contain that volume have the ability to give the particular riders desired performance parameters depending on how they actually ride it (for good or bad).
P.S. I’ve built many thousands of boards (mainly sanding fixed fin models) of all shapes and sizes since the early 1980’s and have done a fair bit of study to say what I do…
well my 7’4 channel bottom is 20 liters. Everyone should know about it but doesn’t (fucking surf industrial machine) In other news I have a 5’4 pig that really blows minds but I usually ride a 6’3 in chest high waves that I call overhead. I’ve been surfing and building boards since the 30’s so everyone else should listen because I am the core
Go suck another dick ya shortarse poof…
Hopefully that dick has the right volume to weight ratio and a nice round end like you’ve been ranting about
In your case it’ll be a popular one with a trendy name that a pro has ridden so you think it must be cool…
right? isn’t it so cool? My skills are progressing so fast!
My performance board days were fleeting at best, the funboard/longboard beckons the aged and chronically injured. Last hurricane swell here I pearled several nice waves, went in and got my fins and had an absolute blast getting cavernous sections and photog-views of the real maestros. Just love being in the ocean and feeling the energy.
Ain’t nothing wrong with that at all! That was my point in the first mid length article. Its been 1-2 feet in CA for a couple months. I’d rather surf a log than not surf at all. Those are literally my only choices.
above 40 litres????!!!!!!!!
Yes, pretty standard for a middy!
Therein lies the problem, they don’t have to be that chubby.
There’s definite advantages to have a larger surface area to volume ratio in many conditions that aren’t explored by the popular manufacturers.
Heck, I’m not even touting them as a be all and end all but a ‘fully foiled (and I don’t mean those wing things underneath) thickness to fin size to rider weight’ ratio is worth a look that most haven’t looked at, let alone come to an understanding of…
Yeah BnB, the surface area to volume deal is fine in glassy waves, but to plow through cheddar you need foam.
It’s like the Byrne deep channels…. butter in the mirrored shade, but literally would turn any wind chop into moguls. Very tempermental.
Indo boat trip, both captain and guide pulled out windowpane Thornton Fallanders…. you knew when they were excited because those were the boards. Like sculptures and very hard to keep healthy. Better know a good builder to fix crook fins too… right on the edge of the channel.
But in rags, Ray has the BSpear thing down and he’s building super thick deep channels, very heavy semi guns. (6’8″)
Built for offshore wind, so there goes my theory. Swear he puts weight on the noses to pull em down against the offshore… feels so unique under your arm with the nose dipping. Gloss coats too or sanded gloss coats.
Love boards.
Bloody oath
Yeah it ain’t a solution to all problems but the feeling and response in perfect conditions makes regular gear seem clunky by comparison…
(Always a 2000g lengthwise hand-sanded or polished full gloss finish haha)
actual surfing around here is sometimes forgotten, but I appreciate everything you do and consider surfboard production an art of the highest caliber…
No they don’t, but that’s just how they’re being made currently. It’s like using a tennis racquet for a game of ping pong.
Hahaha
Now there’s a bloody good idea !
A bigger size than a regular ping pong paddle and tightly strung to give more power would be a winner !
Just like when oversize head Prince rackets were firstly introduced to tennis…
No doubt illegal in table tennis rules, but surfing doesn’t actually have any rules on the equipment haha
Tightly strung reduces raw power…. I used to bring three racket tensions with me on matches…. proprietary information, but what I can say is oversized and tightly strung is usually an attempt to control one’s game.
If you find yourself in a match where someone is playing a racket tightly strung, hit at their feet and make them make decisions regarding forehand or backhand. Also, hit deep onto the baseline and draw them back.
Do not run this person ad and deuce court, turn the focus on forward and back. If you can, pull them into the net when available and continue to hit through their chest. Their “paddle” is ill suited to agility, so use that against them. Handcuff them and mix your drives… spin deep, never shallow and flat once they are well behind the baseline. Follow your flat shots to the net as they approach the opponent quickly and low to the ground.
It’s difficult to pick balls up low to the court if your racket is stiff. Basically, avoid side to side baseline volley’s and turn up the pressure.
Just in case you play… BnB, Surfads.
Oversized and tightly strung. Thats what my wife said.
Lots of people serve the devil. They just call him the lord. I am both believer and sinner. Looking to heaven while raising hell.
Cushion for the pushin’, defeatist.
theres a reason that most people take the training wheels off their bikes as soon as they can
I respect both Sam and surf ads! But I kinda feel this is an argument about nothing. The modern high performance board is piss easy to ride. It ceased being a potato chip 10 years ago. Now it’s a low rocker entry, slightly wider thing (19.25″ instead of 18.75″), with a subtle blend of planing area and rocker/outline turn curve combos. It gets you in pretty easy, drives and skims, turns easy, and in most aspects is kinda neutral. Not only that, every board maker going over 20 a week also makes a slightly more comfy version of the hi performance thing, under some wacky model name, but basically the same thing with a bit more foam and softer edges.
Strikes me all mid lengths really do is prevent you from doing top turns.
Thanks Nick. Agreed! But last I checked the majority of this website is about nothing so I think we’re good.
The Seinfeld of Surf!
Definitely…Jerry, George and Elaine are pretty obvious id have thought…not sure we have a k-man
At least 30 crazy Joe davolas
I’ll take Frank Costanza
I’m Newman!
I had you pegged more along the lines of a dave puddy
Puddy was great.
In yoga class, maybe 3 years ago, I turned and Elaine was on the floor right behind me…. man, she looks better now than then.
Holy fuck! I hope everyone is getting this…
Hippy is really john Kennedy junior
I fucking knew he never really died
( but seriously, I watch her on veep and think exactly that, aging like a fine wine)
Did you see the footage of JFKjr’s plane wreck shot from the air?
Martha’s Vineyards, head high peaks for miles in offshore wind…. A frames up and down the beach. I was mesmerized.
Veep one of funniest shows ever. And JLD is smoking hot and full of spice!
who gets the soup nazi? Negs? “no comment for you”
It is infuriating but I agree with you, Nicknob.
The thing is, that Sam G seems to think that they (modern HPSBs) are still too skinny and hard to surf.
Wait I just re-read your comment and saw that you respect Sam George. You’re fucking crazy mate. Sam sucks.
I liked Nick’s comment overall, but missed that. Not to be mean, but Sam is not very good. Too harsh? Does that mean Nick’s sucks by association?
Mate there are so many of these hacks clinging for dear life on the depleted teat of the surf industry. Nothing is too harsh. They’re fucken vermin.
quite the indictment
You’re alright Hobbsy. You’re still politely riding the industry side saddle.
I’ll (quite graciously) take it.
Much as “they” as in the “industry” like to look down their nose at the day to day surfer like those bitches did to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, we’ll laugh last! I fucken always hated that bullshit, it’s elitism and reeks of high school lameness.
I’ve known Sam since 1979, he’s surfed a ton of waves and he’s a mate of mine, we’re quite different people but I’m not gonna fake disliking him to please you cnuts.
Ok Nick, since he’s your mate can you tell him to shut the fuck up when he’s in the line up? Dude talks way to much. Nothing more annoying then Sam George flapping his trap.
Fuck eh, I thought that was just an American thing
We used to call them “Big Guy” short boards, very effective.
And they are for the legion of over 40 “dad bods” that litter the parking lots every other weekend.
Any board that ‘prevents you from doing top turns’ (presumably vertical) is generally due to the riders technique though.
If you turn hard enough up the face and get all the board apart from the fins out of the water there should be no problem with doing hard and fast top turns on any equipment that has a suitable ‘volume to rider weight’ ratio…
(Think back to the best late ’80’s/early ’90’s boards prior to the Slater potato chip era that most people got sucked into to the detriment of their progression Nick)
It’s the pilot,,,, not the plane …. agreed…
The mid 80’s boards were very neutral. No inherent design strengths and no obvious weaknesses. Occ’s Rusty’s were very simple. Allowed the rider to determine how the boards ran. And they worked nearly all the time. Flat deck, foam pushed to rails.
Slater really inspired and fucked things up…. mixed bag for the regular Joe. They left solid equipment for tempermental boards. Like losing nice girl for moody super model.
Yeah I just feel sorry for the guys who tried to learn on the mid ’90’s slater era gear.
Like virgin school boys trying to fuck a porn star…
And now they’re older their styles and performance are still affected by it (in a negative way)
I think that time was the torment ads is referring to above. But it had to be done. Surfing needed to move from its static performance base and to do that, people had to learn to turn off the rocker, not just the outline. And to do THAT you had to have rocker. It was fun in the end and nobody died.
Maybe the modern hi-per’s are easy for you Nick but if you’re a bit fat, a bit old (and not a seasoned sea dawg like yourself) or a VAL or well, a bit of a kook then no, they probably ain’t which I think was Ads point. But do you mean ‘ride’ or ride well?
That said, I like the idea of hitting the lip given the chance, no matter how ill timed it may be. I relate to the struggle so well written above.
I will not submit to mid lengths (Yet) just like I don’t drink mid strength beer.
I feel an ill timed lip smash is better than no lip smash at all
they also prevent you from being taken seriously.
Shit yes
Well done.