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"This Chas Smith is like a bulldog with eyes up his ass."

Shock: Major literary website publishes kind review for new Chas Smith book Reports from Hell; describes as “Howlingly funny… a journey into dangerous territory!”

"Gonzo meets Hezbollah in this unlikely—and delightful—work of journalism."

Today, August 11th, is the official release date of Reports from Hell by mid-length aficionado Charlie Smith, whom some of you already know.

You have read excerpts here and here and may be tired of Charlie shamelessly promoting the work but shameless promotion is part of the job, as they say.

“Books are wild things. Beautiful things. Maybe antiquated but never for me. I love Camus, love Waugh, love Murakami, Knausgaard, Wolfe, Thompson, Mailer, Didion… but I am no literary titan. I am but a surf journalist,” says Charlie. “Still, I can’t stop writing. Flipping the computer’s lid open, dropping headphones over my ears, dancing with words. I’m generally a little blue when the final draft comes back from the editor because then the journey is over.”

This review, which you can read below, comes from Kirkus, an American book review magazine founded in 1933, which isn’t always kind.

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Gonzo meets Hezbollah in this unlikely—and delightful—work of journalism.

What to do when al-Qaida strikes and the twin towers fall? Grab a surfboard and make for the Middle East, of course, the strategy followed by Smith and companions Nate, “who happens to look exactly like Steve McQueen playing Frank Bullitt if Frank Bullitt wore a bleached fauxhawk,” and Josh, given to sage analyses of current events: “This is the way history works, bro. Convulsions and spasms. To imagine any different, to imagine that we are somehow removed from the long bend, is ludicrous.”

Smith opens with a howlingly funny interview he conducted with David Petraeus, who delivered “easily digestible, easy-to-understand drips of Middle Eastern insight that I imagine rack-rate conference-goers crave.”

During that encounter, Smith had been prattling on about a car that is as central a piece of equipment in this narrative as the suitcase full of pharmaceuticals in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, very much a kindred book.

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So is just the right T-shirt, the right board, and the right amount of sangfroid when, in Lebanon, the loopy journalists were kidnapped by actual terrorists, just as they’d feared, occasioning another Jeff Spicoli–ish remark from Josh: “These Hezbollah bros are something we know. We can figure this out.” Underneath all the goofiness is utterly serious intent: In addition to seeking to better understand the radicals’ point of view, the author is committed to providing plenty of shades of gray in a world that “had never been more black and white or more polarized.”

(Readers will hope he covers the U.S. in the same spirit.)

Funny and sharp, Smith is also a master of the tossed-off phrase that is just right for the job: “Early-2000 Dubai felt like Blade Runner might if written and directed by trust-funded Saudi Arabian boys who loved robot porn.”
A lively and entertaining—and illuminating—journey into dangerous territory.

Buy here or, if y’round tomoz, jump on a virtual meet-and-greet with Charlie, twenty-seven bucks, book included.

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Wayne Lunch

Can we talk about sharks some more?

mundus

I thought the tile was going to be An Assholes Guide to the Middle East? Will read anyway, loved the North Shore book the Cocaine one not so much, but looking forward to this one.

James Bickerton

Good luck

Ricky Spanish

Enjoyed the other 2 books, looking forward to this one. Might even buy one this time

Otto

If Hezbollah had known they’d be Gonzo’d, they would have thought twice about kidnapping Chas.

If only Chas could get Hezbollah to review the book. I wonder what that review would look like.

James Bickerton

Hi O2 ……How things ? I imagine the review might be more Fatwa(r) than Cold War .I don’t dare Rush(die) in with an opinion on the matter …..

Hippy

YOu are so crafty with your inferences…. may there be a “Ted” talk from you in the future re: surf blog commenting????

James Bickerton

Thanks for the compliment brother Hippy . Being Australian the only TED talk I could give would be ROO TED .

Hippy

You are inspiring and aspirational!

And with such command of that big techie stage, fascinating discourse. Can’t believe the BG boys didn’t post a clip?!

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

Wondering if Stab will be doing a review…

James Bickerton

Satanic versus ./ verses …..hi hi

James Bickerton

I received a copy of Cocaine and Surfing for my Birthday and really enjoyed it . I hope this book gets up some peoples’ noses too . Good Luck Chasmatazz.

Really?

I’d watch the movie.

Firelipe Torpedo

First I read barbarian days and it was one of the best books I’ve read. Then immediately, and I mean five seconds after putting it down I picked up welcome to paradise and read that. I will be honest I think this was a terrible way to go about enjoying that book. I thought it was lame, which hurt because I love chas’ writing on here. But that’s why I thought it sucked. After reading barbarian days which was like fine art chas’ book seemed like crayon drawings your kid does at the dinner table. Here is my overall critic. Welcome to paradise could have been broken into 25 articles on here with snarky headlines and I probably would have enjoyed it.

James Bickerton

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

– Aristotle

Firelipe Torpedo

Sorry thought that’s what this message board was for among other things. Guess we should all just be sycophants and fluff each other endlessly.

James Bickerton

Fiery Torpedo you have every right to criticize.As soon as one stands up on a wave , makes a comment or god forbid , lays one soul on the line to create something unique , possibly art , one leaves oneself open and actually encourages criticism.No man /woman is an island .

Really?

comparison is the thief of joy -social media meme

Firelipe Torpedo

Your absolutely right and I probably owe it to myself to reread the book now that it’s been a while. I really should have put at least a week between the two books to process a bit because it felt like someone smacked bill finnegan in the head with a bat before he wrote what would amount to the last two chapters worth of material when I put down barbarian days and picked up welcome to paradise.

Abscessed Llama

Correct me if I’m wrong it was 25+/- article compiled from Post Surf or some previous endeavor..

Firelipe Torpedo

This wouldn’t surprise me at all

Gino

Waugh?
Naw…he’s a Warney guy for sure.

James Bickerton

Waugh …..what is he good for ?
Never forgiven him , and his brother , for beating us in the semifinal of the NSW State Primary School Soccer Knockout in 77 while they were attending Panania Public School …… Buggers played for the state in Soccer too .

Gino

At least 2-3 books on Waugh in every OP shop. Can’t get away.

Gino

Tossed off?
I’ve never tossed off!

Gary -Weird Science

Eddie Haiku

Our Chas sure is the
Master of the tossed off phrase
It’s what he does best…

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

And mix hard liquor
while wearing wife beater shirts
dreaming of face slaps

@surfads

With Charlie Smith soon to be doing lines of coke with the PR intern at the London Review of Books Christmas Party, talking about the $100k advance he wants, no deserves, for his next book on surfing the coronavirus apocalypse through Europe, not even trying to remember the difference between a bull and a white shark let alone the amount of unprovoked attacks in the eastern seaboard in the last eight months, all the while screening calls from the Vanity Fair editor for his overdue gonzo piece on the Iowa primaries, who’s gonna be the new Chas?

James Bickerton

Literary Shark Doo doo do do d Doo
Literary Shark .

longtom

Best cover ever.

Put a shot of the book up.

Otto

How are your books progressing?

Chas Smith

I’m 1/3 through 4th one and a couple sentences in on 5th!

Otto

I was under the impression that Steve had yet to publish a book, but was working on one or two. If he has published them already, why haven’t you pushed them here?

Chas Smith

Oh I misunderstood! Steve’s books will be flogged here daily. Even twice daily.

Chas Smith

Thanks, LT.

Mads Naeraa

Good on you, Chas.

James Bickerton

Hi Mads howz NZ ?

astro

Waiting to see how far it’s spread and for them to identify the infection origin.
They’re on to it but not enough known at this stage.
They’ll know heaps more in the next day or so by the time they’ve tested everyone connected.
Could be shit or could be manageable, is what I’m trying to say …

James Bickerton

Astro ….. tell the wife you have to go surfing NOW , before they pull the plug on you again .

Hippy

It’s so nice to have you land locked again and dominating the comment section my old friend Bicko. I can take multiple days off now and no one even notices. Weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. Small b “bexy” and I had too much responsibility in that regard and Neggy banning small b “bexy” was a very challenging time.

James Bickerton

I’m not really landlocked …. it’s just that the Baltic Sea and it’s beautiful beaches are pining for swell . Been to the beach regularly during the recent heat wave ….offshore for 8 days straight but not a ripple until the container ships make their passage north from the Kiel Kanal . Rather be surfing though !

Hippy

Naked sun bathe with the in laws yet? Any photos?

James Bickerton

Not yet and no French trip in September ! First time since 91 ….Devastated !

Hippy

I’ve had three surf trips and 5 works trips cancel… know the feeling too well.

Never spent this much extended time at home without waves and without work or even correspondence. ????

James Bickerton

I surfed myself stupid in Oz for 5 months , with friends and family during the lock down so I can’t really complain . Change is permanent …. if only it wouldn’t take so long this time . Winter is Coming !

astro

Yea – there could be a grovel somewhere this am …
Fucken cold tho’ …

James Bickerton

6 5 4 with integrated hood , + Booties + Gloves obligatory cold or just not so warm ?

astro

Wind chill is the thing not so much water temp. So 4:3 is ok.
But yea the full ensemble first thing before sun up

James Bickerton

Catch one for me you big star

astro

Making breakfast for the young barrel-hunter right now.

James Bickerton

Go hard or stay home !

Hippy

Imagine a functioning society with people working together to limit a pandemic?

Wait, I realize that is just a fantasy and I doze back to sleep Astro….

astro

Hahahahar, the coppers were turning Auckwackers back at the checkpoints.
Trying to flee … doing their bit to limit the spread. lol

Hippy

Those fuckers really fuck the weekends just north of there. There is one spot that you literally can’t come or go all day sunday as the pilgrimage reverses on one lane roads. My mates claim that they have infected the area, but I corrected them by referring to it as “affected”… Maybe they were right afterall?

astro

Yep, they’re a big tribe alright.

Hippy

Did you notice Astro? I watched Bicko’s “Ted Talk” on youtube and used his commenting technique…. should make me popular round here someday?

astro

Ha – possibly ?

James Bickerton

You got the wrong Bicko ….. I am way more tall , dark , bald , hirsute and handsome and still have a much better roundhouse cutback and forehand lip bash at 55 , than these other loquacious imposters babbling on on You Lube …ha ha

Mads Naeraa

Gone fucken bonkers, again. I’m seething inside, but will just shut my mouth and concentrate on being a good husband and friend and colleague. There will be zero debate in NZ.

But yeah, even intelligent people are backstabbing and gloating. It seems like there’s no limit to the desire for punishment – as long as we’re all getting it in equal measure.

I’ll keep surfing and minding my own business. But it’s 2020, and every week is Hate Week.

Sorry for the rant. How are you, Bicko?

James Bickerton

Good mate . Enjoying the Northern European Summer …. while it lasts

Mads Naeraa

What does Deutschneyland feel like at the moment? Have you been elsewhere in Northern Europe?

Take care, and enjoy the rye bread.

James Bickerton

It is hot and sunny and I get the impression that people a much less oppressed by the situation than in the New World . Schools and Kindergartens open and my wife is back working at the hospital as per usual . Government departments though are not so efficient during Covid and it takes months to get an appointment just to change the ownership papers on a car. Hope to get up to Denmark on a real surf / sail board trip with a mate sometime between now and Xmas .

channelbottom

I am bitterly disappointed that I did not get to meet you in your brief attempt at immigration with family.

James Bickerton

One day CB ….I was in Oz for 5 months but was so busy for the first month , was not allowed to leave Sydney for 4 months , surfed outside Cronulla once in the Gong , and then was so busy trying to get out of the country and back home . Crazy times

channelbottom

Crazy times indeed.
Absolute disgrace that your wife was not seen as qualified to practice.

James Bickerton

Yes it was very disappointing . With one touch of my finger I found 56 jobs available in Australia …… one at Nowra , where we were hoping to go to , which has been available since 2016 . Other locum work for $2500 a day and not a taker insight . . No wonder there is a shortage for specialists in regional Australia when they only allow specialist from 5 countries outside Oz to come , work and stay . I spoke with friends from Port Macquarie and it takes 8 months wait to see a Gynecologist up their way .
Never believe the Government Rhetoric that “ We only want highly skilled immigrants “ What they want is people to do the jobs no one in Oz wants to do . Pick fruit , dig holes , clean toilets and serve drinks .

Chas Smith

Thanks, Mads.

channelbottom

Charles won’t be slumming it here for much longer, with reach-arounds like that.

Or should I say; ‘Beach around’…


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