"Wonderful example to promote," says world champ in latest instalment of multi-year blood feud.
Only four weeks ago, the eleven-time world champion surfer Kelly Slater proved, again, that the pen is mightier than the sword when he slayed an historically inaccurate Instagram troll who had accused him of racism after a post on Chinese fishing in the Galapagos Islands.
“Writing me out of the blue talking shit is such a crock of shit. Accusing me of being a racist? My girlfriend is Chinese. You’re on glue. You’re a miserable coward. And now you’re blocked.”
“Hahahaha,” wrote the kid.
Earlier today, a new front was revealed with Kelly’s riposte to Peter Schroff, the noted LA-based shaper and artist who has made turned his hate for Asian-made surfboards into performance art.
In 2019, the San Diego-by-way-of-the-Philippines-and-New-York shaper Mark Polintan had given his Happy Battles shop to a Schroff show where a Slater Designs board was cut in half by Schroff using a chainsaw.
A handprinted t-shirt was made for the occasion and sold for fifty dollars.
(For a quick education into Schroff’s previous attacks on Slater Designs, Firewire and so on, click Blood Feud: Schroff v Hayden Cox, Relentless: Schroff’s War on Mark Price, Peter Schroff Does Yellow Face, Modern: Peter Schroff Doubles Down and Three-Way: Dorian v Tudor v Schroff.)
When Polintan reposted a photo of the tee on his Instagram account @happy.battle, Kelly sent a pointed direct message.
“Hahaha. Must be great to be in your mid-late 60’s, on drugs, sexually confused and dying for any kind of attention. Wonderful example to promote.”
Polintan replied, “The shaper you’re referring to who happened to be gay is not sexually confused. How (is) being gay sexually confused again? Get your head out of your ass.”
Two years ago, I interviewed Schroff, then sixty-three, where he said he was “a stick of dynamite…The methods that we’re using is to ridicule Kelly and Mark Price and to have local people be too embarrassed to buy the boards. That’s the strategy.”
Paradoxically, in an interview in Surfer magazine in 2019, Schroff revealed himself as a Slater fan.
“Kelly Slater has never stopped surfing and that’s why he is still the best surfer alive,” said Schroff. “Even at 47 years old. Sure, maybe not as much in contests anymore, but his surfing is so stylish, it has so much character and, shit, he’s so driven. Nobody else has ever come close to that drive. That’s part of his style. He’s like Marlon Brando’s character in Apocalypse Now.”
Good times etc.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Kelly looking bad here.
Context; Slater did act in Baywatch and was screwing Pam Anderson.
Chainsaws are always good marketing.
Can’t believe a guy like Kelly, a professional surfer, is bad at PR. Can’t believe he’s so one dimensional from a lifetime of chasing, *ahem, Pipe Dreams.
He’s so abjectly inept that I wonder if it isn’t all an elaborate ploy to keep himself in the spotlight.
Surely he has a manager to run his twitter account for him???
Derek and Chas… first, Sunday’s notable absence of this man at the ranch amidst the “3.5 on the left” and Strider’s on-the-ski choke joke, and now this newest case of Kelly not taking guidance from his great healer… this is my plea and beg to you both… please, please get Charlie Goldsmith on the next Dirty Water…
Ayahuasca Kelly shit talking drug use by someone else in his age group. He’s just butt hurt that the whole world knows his tub is nothing more than an elitist country club built around boring ferry wake riding.
Derek, we host podcasts on the same network and if we’re ever on each other’s shows I’m going to need to call out your ignorant b.s. regarding the “historically inaccurate Instagram troll” when that kid was absolutely accurate and it’s you who needs the history lesson since you clearly don’t know shit regarding the history of Iran and how U.S. and British interventionism in the 1950s caused all the chaos and hatred toward the west that’s there now.
Right. Troll, certainly, but his history was solid.
Persian American Oil Company….
And the US screwed it’s business partner, got involved in it’s politics and now decries the same treatment at the hands of another. Priceless.
Derek is Jewish – or wishes he was – so it’s no wonder he doesn’t know anything about Iran.
Hippy: I identify with the pronouns “Him” and “HIs”, my sexuality is vanilla Hetero though I have many gay friends including one pig bottom, two bear tops, 3 firmly traditional closeted and one depraved mother fucker who will fuck anything and my apologies for not speaking clear millenial and using the right adjective to label him. My favorite cuisine is steak and potatoes unless you know a good al dente recipe for haricot verts. I am an artist by trade and love snarkasm, but while riding waves none of this matters in the least.
Refreshing to get that out of the way, but I had to qualify my personality in order to comment in relation to my personal back story so as not to offend anyone ever.
Peter Schroff looks damn good in Cowboy Retro Future Rebellion (I coin the next fashion trend) and Ke11y is just jealous to be so far behind the curve of fashion (OK?). And as shitty as Shroff twin fins were, they were much better than Hurley or Geoff Mc Coy twin fins, so as the former Newps King (Queen) of surf fashion in the early 80’s, Schroff has reinvented the playfulness of that era by dressing well and chainsawing terrible concept surfboards built in Asia.
Lance Collins would fully agree… I know the man.
By the way, does anyone know what became of George Hulse? But I digress.
Performance art on a sci fi is about as concept as one can aspire and when you look as good as Peter executing it, everyone forgets your past discretions.
So our GOAT has his goat up again over something funny? The poor man, so lost in the ether of his own ego tied up in the social media cloud. Remember when Ke11y went on surf trips and talked about surfing? The hubris of his fragile need for attention has him projecting his own needs as others… sounds very Republican of him if not for his overwhelming conscience towards environmentalism.
Art is narcissistic masturbation.
Did you hurt your shoulder “reaching” for that bullshit?
Schroff’s commitment to keeping it weird is highly enjoyable.
Kelly’s commitment to paranoia is also highly entertaining
absolutely poetic statement Ricky… nice work
the statement is… your exploiting mr KS … does he deny it NO so yes he is guilty! making boards with cheap labor… simple
Attention seeking 50 year old calls out 60 year old attention seeker
Ars longa, vita brevis…..
Life is short,
and art long,
opportunity fleeting,
experimentations perilous,
and judgment difficult.
Guys, please. Kelly is having a difficult time to say the least. As you can see, not being about to burn through a small European countries worth of CO2 is really plaguing him mentally. This was clearly shown by his inability to surf a wave he literally designed. I mean, if you designed a slippery dip, would you make it so you fell off? I didn’t think so. Let’s all stop attacking the undisputed king of surfing and give him a round of applause for finally settling down with a nice Chinese girl. Huzzah to the CCP!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Look like our nanny got a bad case of nipple rash ?
Can we retire Slater’s GOAT title and refer to him as “Nanny”?
is that Mark Zuck?
and his chinese wife
The Horror the Horror ….Mr Kurtz and his heart of darkness may have not liked himself ,or Slater for that fact , but he always had the utmost respect for Charlie ….go figure.
A little tune from the jonnys to inspire chainsaw art
https://youtu.be/a8hQm1ge-i0
R.I.P. Spencer P. Jones
Seems anything to do with China is a trigger for the GOAT.
Trigger …..Roy Roger‘s Horse or Trigger Bros Boards ?
haha..they really are nice guys at Triggers.
I’d like to hear DLS do a show interviewing them.
Old school country feel when you walk in.
Lipped podcast might be closer to pulling the trigger .
Can’t wait for them to stop with the virtual shit,I haven’t listened in months.
I have a soft spot for Bell Warren
One bald guy is having way more fun than the other.
Spoken like a man
Who’s told his arsehole bosses
He’s retiring
I’d love to get back on drugs when I’m 60. Unfortunately the wife probably wouldn’t agree.
Does she tell you it’s not prudent to buy new boards, too?
It’s a slippery slope.
No. But then I don’t buy very many.
Besides, as a former raging alcoholic, I don’t have very many legs to stand on when arguing the case for pharmaceutical or weed-based recreation.
A bit of a bitch move from Polintan. What you got to say for yourself Mark?
Well now was it? In an age where every celebrity is calling out for racism in all forms to be outed, shouldn’t the same hold true for homophobic remarks?
Yes I would prefer to surf with the entire gay population of Sydney than with one IDiot Surfing on any type of surfcraft with a 2ft foil on the bottom !
Gay Surfers are Ok ! ( if there local of course )
To be honest I was only trying to bait Mark into the conversation down here.
I wonder what Charlies going to say about this?
If he can keep it in 1 post with less than 300 words I might finally stop hanging shit on the cunt.
Goldsmith not Smith.
Oh, not Gabby’s Step Dad?
I’m sure he’d have something to say too.
In Portuguese.
Had to Google Charlie Goldsmith. Is he the energy healer cunt? Fucken spare me his opinion please.
He could help you on selling crystal healing methods for faulty air conditioning ducts, to your clients.
Could be a real money spinner.
Make sure you advise them that if they don’t perform the rituals ‘correctly’ then your ‘guarantee’ is void.
That probably would work in some parts down here. I can see the text message convo now….
“Hi Wiggs! Thanks again you did a wonderful job installing the sapphire on our air-conditioning. Just a quick query… the air-conditioning doesn’t seem to be working… is there something wrong?”.
“Sorry this isn’t Wiggs phone but just hold the sapphires closer to the unit. Cheers”.
I certainly don’t miss those calls and texts on a Friday afternoon at 7 or Sunday morning at 6:30!
(Saturday evening):
“I have the thermostat set at 68 degrees and its been running all day, I realize it’s 105 out but it’s only cooling to 69. Not urgent, whenever you get a chance.”
…same customer. literally the next day: (Sunday morning)
“I’ve left several messages and Haven’t heard back from you! The air conditioner is still running, I mean, it’s comfortable inside but won’t go lower than 68. We’re really unhappy and don’t want a $1000 electric bill. You have 10 minutes to take care of this or WE WILL leave a bad review online. If you don’t want my business Ill find someone else!!. BTW, Can you refer another AC contractor?”
I could tell you stories Scott…. fcuk.
The consumer now has the power of review and is trigger happy without any reflection.
So true! It always amazes me that people will spend a bunch of time and energy venting about shit like being unsatisfied with their burrito or whatever.
Don’t forget Charlie Smith has a salt lamp.
Crystal Meth…(od) …… You’ll have Santa Cruzing in no time !